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Harmony in Marriage
Harmony in Marriage
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used to be "us." "We' two, are one, 'we' are like this and 'we' are like that. It is 'ours. That turns into "mine and yours". Then the quarrels and rivalry will start. Where will this quarrel end? Divorce and devastation is the result. These quarrels destroy everything. So do not get into conflict with anyone.
(51) Everyday he keeps saying "My wife, my wife" but one day the wife packs her clothes in his suitcase. What does he say? "Why did you put your saris in my bag at all?" Look at these sons of reputable men! Were these saris going to eat him up? But this is all because he has his own separate identity. This 'husband-wife is a business of sorts; it is the reason they get together. It is a contract. But will they lose their separate identities? That identity remains separate only. Does he not ask, "Why did you pack your saris in my bag?" Questioner : Yes, he does.
(52) Dadashri: These men get into an argument over a simple sari found in his bag. The wife thinks, "He always creates this problem, even if I touch his bag. Alas! I must have made a mistake about him when I was looking for a husband. From where did I get such a husband?" But what can she do now? She is dependent on him. She has no option left. If it were Mary, a woman of the western culture she would have left the very next day. But how can an Indian lady leave? She is tied. There is no room for fighting. There is no space anywhere where people can fight. If there were, they would definitely kill each other!
There are some men who will make their wife remove her bag even if it is lying next to his. You fool! You are a married man; you went through a marriage ceremony, are you not one now? yet what does he write? "My other half". What
kind of a man are you? Why do you write "My other half?" Then, is that other half not applicable to the bag also? Who are we ridiculing, the men or the women? Do they not say "other half"?
Questioner: They do.
Dadashri: Then they change their mind. The women will not cause such problems. If he were to pack his jeans in her bag, she won't say anything. But these men have such great egos. In this regard their ego is always poised to strike like that of a scorpion upon the slightest irritation.
Mind you, I am telling you this out of my own past experiences. This way you will also get the strength to accept your errors.
Questioner : Yes Dada, when you say this, everyone remembers their own past and they accept their mistakes.
Dadashri: No, you would not accept it, but I will accept that I have experienced them all. One would hurt her so much, in such a way that he would tell her to go away to her parents. Foolish man! What will happen to you if she left? She is bound to you through karma, where would that poor lady go? But what you are telling her will not go to waste. It will leave a wound on her heart and then it will come back to you later, you fool. You will have to suffer the effect of this karma. You might think, where is she to go anyway? You must never say such things. if you do, then it is a grave mistake. All here have used such taunts sometime or the other, have they not?
Questioner: Yes, we have. Everyone has done it. There is no exception. The intensity of taunt may be different but there is no exception.
