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life without Conflict
life without Conflict
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home and his child calls out to him, 'Daddy, daddy," he forgets everything. This is similar to effect of wine; it intoxicates people and makes them forget everything.
If a couple had been childless for a long time suddenly have a son, the father is overjoyed. But if the son were to die, he would cry just as much as he had laughed when his son was born. So fathers need to be aware of what would become of him if the child were to ever die. Therefore stop rejoicing from today, then there will be no sorrow. In which previous life were you without children? It is nothing new. The cats, dogs and all everywhere have children too! Worldly Interaction Should Be Within Normal Limits
So maintain normality in everything, maintain love in one eye and sternness in the other. Sternness does not cause as much harm to others as anger does. Sternness is just a show of anger without the hurting others. I too had to be stern with my workers and ask them, 'Why are you not working?' Certain situations require that you deal with them in a certain manner. You must act according to what calls for the situation.
In worldly interactions an appropriate response is required depending on the situation. If an appropriate response is lacking, the interaction becomes spoiled.
One bank manager told me, 'I remain perfectly calm at home. I do not say a word to my wife or my children.' I told him, 'You are the ultimate fool. You are not worth anything in this world.' He thought that Dada would be very happy with him and reward him. The fool! Can there be a reward for this? If your child does something wrong, you have to tell him, 'Why did you do that. Do not do it again.' You have
to say it in a make-believe way as if you mean it (show emotions without being emotional) otherwise he will think whatever he is doing is fine because by not saying anything, you accept his actions. Children fall apart because you do not say anything to them. You have to tell them everything but it has to be in a dramatic' manner. You have to sit him down at night and talk to him, explain things to him. Children need to be shaken up a little, now and then. Although they have some good qualities, you have to shake them a little. Is there anything wrong in doing so?
Questioner: Dada, my son makes fifteen hundred rupees a month and I am retired. I live with him and his wife. They both keep criticizing me the way I do things or ask me why I go out. I am going to tell them that I am going to leave their home.
Dadashri: Do they feed you well? Questioner: Yes, Dada they do.
Dadashri: Then you cannot tell them you will leave, because having said so you may not be able to leave and you will have to swallow your own words.
Questioner: So then should I not say anything to them?
Dadashri: If you have to, then tell them very calmly, 'It would be good if you did things this way but really it is up to you.' If there is a possibility of changing others through your actions, then go ahead and do it, otherwise you are likely to aggravate them. So in that case, it is best not to say or do anything.
For example, a father has four sons. He constantly rebukes the two who do nothing wrong but he says nothing
