________________
72
life without Conflict the morning. What he did before he came home is not worthy of discussion. You can figure it out yourself. His whole family was in a dilemma whether they should reprimand him or not let him in the house. They did not know what to do with him. When the eldest brother tried to confront him, he threatened him, 'I will not refrain from hurting you.' The family then came to me for a solution. I told them not to say a word to him, because it would make matters worse and if they prevented him from coming home, he would resort to stealing. I told him to let him come and go as he pleased. They were not to tell him what was right and what was wrong, nor were they to harbor any feelings of attachment or abhorrence towards him. On the contrary, they were to have compassion for him. After three or four years he became a changed man. Today he is extremely helpful in the family business. This world is not worthless; you just need to know how to handle situations. God resides in each person. Everyone has his load cut out so do not have dislike towards anyone.
Great Injustice in Suppressing those Under Your Shelter
Questioner: I do not get along with my wife at all. No matter what I say, no matter how innocently I say it, and regardless to when I am right, she always takes it the wrong way. There are external conflicts in life, but what is this friction between two of us?
Dadashri: It's like this. People repress those who are under them to a degree that has no end. People who exercise excess authority over others, be it a wife or a husband, they go to the extent that they stop at nothing.
life without Conflict
You should never quarrel with your family members. How can you quarrel with those you have to share your room with? No one has been happy by hurting others. We want to achieve happiness by making others happy. If you give happiness in your home, you will get happiness in return. You will even get a decent breakfast, but otherwise your tea will be ruined. Husbands who intimidate their wives are weak. How can you destroy those who are under your protection? Your highest goal should be to protect those who have been placed in your care. You should protect them even if they make mistakes. These are people of your own family! See how well we protect the Pakistani prisoners of war? Outside the home, he barely squeals and will not fight with anyone but at home he will do all kinds of mischief. He keeps suppressing those who are under him and he becomes weak and submissive to his superiors. If a policeman reproaches him he will say, 'Yes sir, yes sir,' but at home even if his wife is right, he cannot bear it and will start yelling at her. 'How come there is an ant in my tea?' he will yell at her. You fool! Why can't you calmly remove it from your tea? He tyrannizes those at home but he trembles in front of a policeman. This is gross injustice and it does not suit us. The wife is your partner. How can you fight with your partner? Wherever there is a potential for a conflict, you must be understanding and find a solution. Why do you have conflicts with people you have to live with?
A Science Worth Understanding
73
Questioner: What should we do if we do not want to get into a conflict but the other person comes to pick a fight? Say one is very careful and aware, and the other is bent on fighting, is conflict not inevitable?
