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life without Conflict
because the problem has not been resolved that people end up not speaking with each other. Not speaking with the other person means there is a burden; the burden of the unresolved conflict. You should approach the other person and say, 'Tell me if I have done something wrong. I make a lot of mistakes. You are a very intelligent person, you are learned and you do not make many mistakes but I am not as learned and so I make a lot of mistakes.' If you say this to other person, he will be appeased.
Questioner: What if he does not calm down even after I say this?
Dadashri: What can you do if he does not calm down? Once you say this to him, you are free, what other solution is there? He will calm down someday. You cannot soften the other person by telling him off. He may appear to have calmed down but from within he makes a mental note of it and will throw it back in your face when you least expect it. So understand that his world lives on vengeance. The fact is that people will continue to harbor vengeance; they retain atoms of revenge within so you must try to resolve the situation completely.
Adjust According To Their Prakruti
Questioner: What should I do if I try to break the silence by asking for forgiveness from the other person but instead, he reacts even more negatively?
Dadashri: Then you should not say anything to him. If he has the misconception of, 'The one who gives in is a weakling,' then you should stay away from him. Then, whatever happens is correct. But resolve everything with those who are straightforward and easy to deal with. Can
life without Conflict
123 you not tell who in your household is easy to get along with and who is difficult?
Questioner: If the other person is not straightforward, should we sever the relationship with him?
Dadashri: Do not sever it. Worldly interactions are not such that they will break by you breaking them. You should just remain silent and then one day he or she will get angry and bring about a resolution. If you remain quiet, then one day she will get angry and ask you, 'You do not say anything anymore. You have not said anything for so many days,' when she gets angry, you will resolve things. What else can you do? There are so many different types of iron; I can understand them all. Certain iron become malleable when heated, while others need to be left in the kiln and will straighten up with just a few strokes of a hammer. There are so many different kinds of irons; the soul within is the pure soul; it is paramatma (the Supreme Soul) and iron is the iron. These are all elements.
Declare Your Faults Openly
Questioner: I am not attentive towards certain matters in the home. People at home keep telling me to be more attentive and alert, but I am unable to do so. What should I
do?
Dadashri: Nothing. If people in the house tell you, *Pay attention, pay attention, then you should say, 'Yes, I will,' and you should decide to do so. Despite doing this, if something goes wrong, then you should tell them you are not able to maintain your attention. You will have to bring about a resolution will you not? If someone tells me to pay attention to something, I will, but if despite doing so, if I slip
