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life without Conflict
life without Conflict
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afraid of my husband and I am afraid of the future; during such instances, I forget your aphorism, 'Who are we to improve others?' and I end up giving advice.
Dadashri: If you apply the agna of vyavasthit, then there will be no problems. If you do, you will not have any questions. When your husband comes home, get his dinner ready and call him down to eat, do not try to change his prakruti. His prakruti you were aware of when you chose him to be your husband has to be observed till the end. Did you not know what his prakruti was like from the very beginning? You should have left him from the beginning, why did you allow yourself to be ruined more?
There is no benefit to be gained in your worldly life through nagging; you will only incur a loss. To nag is to quarrel. That is why God has called it a kashaya.
As problems increase between the two of you, you will start to fall apart. Once the problem is solved, you will not separate. There is sorrow in separation, and besides everyone has problems, you two are not an exception. Problems are inevitable in every marriage.
Quarrels will continue because of past karmas and as they come into effect, but at least stop your negative talking. Keep your personal problems to yourself; do not discuss them within or outside your home.
The Distinct Separation Questioner: Our prakruti may not improve but at least our worldly interactions (vyavahar) should.
Dadashri: People do not know how to conduct their vyavahar (worldly interactions) at all. If they had the
knowledge, for even half an hour, it would be plenty. No one has understood worldly interactions. What is the definition of worldly interactions? Superficial. The real definition of worldly interactions is that it is not real. It is only superficial! People have believed it to be real. The reality of this worldly life is relative; it is not real. Money, whether it is real or unreal, will be of no use over there, on the path of liberation, so let go of your stubbornness and get your work done. Worldly life means receiving what you had given in the past life. If someone were to say, 'Chandubhai has no sense, then you should understand that you are getting back what you gave previously. If you understand this, only then it is called vyavahar, but as such no body knows how to conduct their worldly life. The one whose relative is relative and his real is real; the one established in the knowledge of the Self is indeed superficial in worldly interactions. Quarreling Will Stop If You Say It the Right Way
(Samyak) Questioner: If someone deliberately throws away something useful, how should we adjust?
Dadashri: In this case, you are talking about some kind of object, but even if for example, he were to drop your little toddler, you have to observe that too. When your husband drops your son, you have to just observe. What else can you do, are you going to throw the husband away also? You'll have to seek medical care for the baby but do you want to put your husband in the hospital also? And when he has the opportunity to do so, will he not beat you? Do you want triple the medical bills?
Questioner: So should I not say anything at all?
