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life without Conflict
life without Conflict
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Whenever you are quarreling, you must maintain awareness that it is your past karma that makes you dance. Therefore you must settle all this dancing' through your Gnan.
Questioner: But Dada surely both the quarreling parties must remember this.
(sanskar), so both the parents must work towards settling matters with equanimity. How can you get rid of suspicion? This Gnan of ours can you make you completely suspicionfree. The Soul has infinite powers!!
All Speech Is A Taped Record
Dadashri: No, here each has to mind his or her own business. If you improve, only then will the other person improve. Just think a little, when after a while you both have to be together, why then should you quarrel? Once you enter into a marriage, why should there be any quarreling? You forget incidents that took place yesterday, whereas for me, everything remains present in my Gnan. Mind you, this thinking is a virtuous and is helpful for even those who do not have Gnan. It is out of ignorance that people believe their spouse will try to control them. But if someone were to ask me, I would tell him, 'You are a top and so is she, so how is she going to control you? Do you think that the control is in her hands?' Everything is under the control of vyavasthit. And even if your wife were to control you, what is she going to do? If you were to give in a little, your poor wife will feel a sense of comfort in her mind that you have come under her control! She will be at peace.
Suspicion Leads to Conflicts
If you get hurt because you bumped into a table, you do not consider the table at fault. But if someone hurts you, you see him or her as the guilty one responsible for the act. When a dog barks at you, but does not hurt you, you put up with it. In the same token, if a person does not harm you but merely barks at you, should you not put up with him also? To bark means to speak. Don't they sometimes make a comment like, 'This woman barks a lot!'? Even lawyers bark in the courtrooms, do they not? The judge watches two lawyers bark. Do lawyers not bark without being emotionally involved? Inside the courtroom they make all kinds of accusations against each other and we feel that the two of them will get into a fight, but outside the courtroom, the two sit and leisurely drink tea together!
Questioner: Is that called fighting dramatically?
Dadashri: No that is called parrot play. No one other than a Gnani knows how to act dramatically. Parrot play is where people watching the interaction between the two, feel that they are going to kill each other, but in fact they are merely pecking at each other with their beaks, they peck without hurting each other.
Have I not said that all speech is a record (tape)? If a record keeps saying, "Mani has no sense...Mani has no sense, then you too should sing along with the record, 'Mani has no sense!
Most of the quarreling today stems from suspicion. Suspicion creates vibrations that ignite into flames, and if one becomes free from suspicion, then these flames will automatically extinguish. If both the husband and wife become suspicious, then how can these flames be extinguished? Or of you has no choice but to become suspicion-free. Quarrels between parents ruin the impressions on children's psyche
