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life without Conflict
life without Conflict
enemy.
When husband and wife fight with the neighbors, they are united. If you see them, you would think their unity is praiseworthy of praise and admiration. But inside the house, if the wife does not put enough sugar in his tea, he starts lecturing her, "Everyday I tell you to put more sugar in the tea but your mind is never in the right place.' You fool! Your own mind is not in the right place. What kind of a man are you anyway? Should you be quarrelling with the person with whom you have on going interactions everyday?
Do you have differences of opinions with anyone? Questioner: Yes, a lot of times.
Dadashri: Do you have differences of opinions with your wife?
Questioner: Yes, many times.
Dadashri: Differences of opinions lead to fights and worries. If that happens because of differences in opinions then imagine what would happen if there are differences amongst the minds? When that happens, divorces take place and when there is a difference with the body, death will occur.
Fight, But In the Park If you want to fight, go outside and do it. Make that your rule. The day the two of you want to fight, go to a park and fight as much as you want, then come home, but do not fight at home. The day you feel like fighting with your wife, tell her, 'Let us go to a park and have a nice picnic and then we can fight to our heart's content.' Fight in a way that others will get involved. But there should be no fighting at home. God does not reside in a home where there is discord. What has God said? He has said there should be no fighting in the home of a devotee. A devotee is anyone whose worship is indirect (paroksha bhakti) through the medium of a picture, an image, an idol etc. And a devotee whose worship is direct, (pratyaksha), one who has the awareness and the realization of the Soul within is called a Gnani, and there can be no conflicts in the home of a Gnani, only eternal bliss (samadhi) prevails there.
Dadashri: Even with your wife? If you cannot be united with her, then with whom can you be? Unity means never having differences of opinions. Your wife is the one person with whom you must vow never to have any differences. That is how united you should be. Do you have such a unity?
Questioner: I have never thought about that this way before. This is the first time I am thinking this way.
Dadashri: Yes, you will have to think, will you not? Do you know how much thinking Lord (Mahavira) did before his final liberation? Do you like having differences?
Questioner: No.
So if someday you have a desire to fight, tell your husband, 'Let's go to the park.' Send the children to someone else. Then tell your husband to smile when you slap him in public. Let the public witness your drama. People are big on impressions. When they see you both, they will think to themselves, 'Here is a man who is very honorable but today he has no reputation left.' Does anyone have any honor left today? People create a reputation for themselves by hiding
