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life without Conflict
life without Conflict
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Hiraba and I never have any differences of opinions! I never interfere with anything she does. Even if she happens to drop some money, I will not say to her, 'Do you know you've dropped some money?' I never interfere with any domestic matters and she never interferes in any of my business matters. She never questions what time I will wake up, when I will take my bath, or what time I will come home or leave home. Sometimes she tells me to take an early bath and I will do so without questioning her. I will even fetch my own towel and clothes because when she tells me to take an early bath, she is waving a red flag: she must have a reason to do so. Perhaps the water is going to be shut off or something, therefore I would understand. You too should gradually try to understand that no one should interfere in anyone else's business.
If a police officer were to arrest you and take you away, do not you do as you are told? Wouldn't you sit where he tells you? You should understand that as long as you are in this world, you are under arrest. So here too, you should do as you are told.
Does your wife cook for you? Questioner: Yes she does.
Dadashri: She feeds you, she makes your bed, and she does your laundry, what else? And even if she does not make your bed, you can make it yourself and solve the problem. Explain everything patiently. Are you going to find your solutions in the Bhagvad Gita? This is something you will have to understand for yourself.
Husband means the wife of the wife! But here men only act as husbands; as bosses. You fools! Do you fear your
wife is going to become your husband? To be a husband means to be a wife of the wife. There should be no loud noises or raised voices in your household; are you a loud speaker? Some husbands speak so loudly that they can be heard at the end of the street! You should live like a guest in your home. I too live like a guest at home. If you do not find happiness as a guest of nature, what happiness do you expect to find in your married life?
She Will Avenge the Beatings Questioner: Dada, many times I loose my temper and hit my wife.
Dadashri: You should never hit a woman. She will remain silent as long as you are strong, then she will overrule you. Beating a woman and beating the mind are the causes that will make you wander life after life. You can never beat these two. You have to explain things to them and reason with them in order to get your work done.
I had a friend who would slap his wife the minute he saw her make mistakes. I told him in confidence that she makes a note of every slap she gets. He may not remember anything but she definitely will. Alas! Even his little children, who watch intently when he hits her, will make a note of it. Then the mother and the children will get together and join forces against him and take their revenge. When will they do this? They will do this when his body becomes old and weak. So you must never hit a woman. By hitting a woman you hurt only yourself and create your own obstacles.
Let me tell you dependency is. If you beat a tethered cow, where can she go? How can she escape the beatings? People in a household are like the tethered cows. If you beat
