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life without Conflict
life without Conflict
eventually comes to an end, but if certain events seem to linger, you do not help matters by reacting and on the contrary you make matters worse. When that happens, not only are you hurting others, but you are also hurting yourself. Who has the power to improve things? Only the one who have improved himself can improve others. How can you improve others if you, yourself have not?
Questioner: But we can improve others if we improve ourselves, right?
Dadashri: Yes, you can. Questioner: How can I tell whether I have improved?
Dadashri: When others see love in you even when you reprimand and scold them. Even if you reprimand your child, he will see love in you. You can reprimand your children, but do so with love, only then will they improve. If a college professor were to reprimand his students, they will beat him up.
Your efforts should be aimed for the betterment of the other person, but any effort that causes a reaction, should be avoided. If you rebuke someone and he or she feels bad, then that effort is not worthy. Your efforts should be made from within, in a subtle manner. If your overt efforts are futile, you should make the efforts from within. If you do not want to reprimand at length, then do so in few words, just tell him, 'Son this does not suit us (as a family) Say only this much and then keep quiet. You have to say something, but you must know the proper way to say it.
Otherwise Adjust With a Prayer Questioner: I made my effort to make the other person
understand. Whether he understands or not, is it not his purushartha (effort)?
Dadashri: The extent of your responsibility is to explain things to him. After that, whether or not he understands, there is nothing you can do. At the very least, you should do this much. You should pray, *Dada Bhagwan (the Lord within)! Grant him the right intellect. You cannot leave that person hanging. This is the absolute truth; this is Dada's science of adjustment. It is a wonderful adjustment. Do you not get the taste of the consequences wherever you fail to adjust? Inability to adjust is sheer foolishness, it happens because a person believes he is the boss and everything should go according to what he wants. For that he will have to starve his whole life and one day he may be served with poison. Let things be. This is Kaliyug! Just look at the environment! If your wife tells you you are worthless, you should just say, 'Yes.'
Questioner: It would provoke me if my wife were to call me worthless.
Dadashri: So what is the solution for it? Should you retaliate and call her worthless twice over? And by doing that will your own worthlessness disappear? By retaliating you ruin your whole day and your meals.
Questioner: What is the intention behind all these talks of adjustment? Where do we go from there?
Dadashri: The aim is to achieve peace of mind. It is the art of avoiding unhappiness and discord.
Learn To Adjust From a Gnani There was a man who used to come home at two in
