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life without Conflict
life without Conflict
everyone is roasting like potatoes in a fire from all directions. People do not understand what they are living for. They have also lost faith in themselves. What can be done now? At home people have conflicts with their family and do not know how to resolve them. They feel confused and overwhelmed.
Questioner: The husband says, 'The wife has to compromise. I won't.'
Dadashri: Yes, it means everything has reached the limit. If the husband says he will not compromise, but the wife has to, it means he has reached the end of his limit. A real man will respond in a manner that will please his wife and smooth things over, so their train of life can move ahead. But instead, you people hold back your train for days and months on end! That is not acceptable. As long as conflicts continue in the mind of the other person, your difficulties will continue. Therefore work towards a resolution of his conflict.
despite our efforts to compromise to reach a settlement with the other person, the outcome is going to be bad?
Dadashri: The outcome may be anything. All you have to do is to have the intent to resolve conflicts with that person. Make a decision to settle with equanimity without worrying whether you will be successful or not. Sooner or later it will happen. If not today, then tomorrow or the day after; it may even take several years depending on how sticky your karmic account is. The relationships that you have with
fe, children and parents are very sticky and therefore they take longer to settle with equanimity. With those who are always close by or who are always with you, things will resolve slowly and gradually. Once you have decided that you want to settle all accounts with equanimity, it will happen, and there will come an end to it all. You have to maintain extreme awareness when dealing with those, with whom you have very sticky karmic accounts. No matter how small a snake is, you must proceed with caution, maintain awareness. If you become careless and inattentive, you will not be successful in resolving these matters. If the other person says something to you and you happen to retort, your external response is of no significance, because your inner intent now is that you want to settle matters with equanimity, and therefore abhorrence no longer exists. Speech belongs to the body and hatred exists because it is supported by your ego. But if you decide that you want to settle everything with equanimity, then you will succeed for sure; this way all karmic debts will be cleared. If today you are not able to pay him, you will be able to pay him tomorrow or some time in the future. However, your creditors will eventually collect from you.
After people pay off their karmic debts, upon death
Questioner: How can we tell whether the other party has come to a closure and they may well havt, but what if there is harm in it for them?
Dadashri: That is not your concern; it is theirs. You do not have to consider the other person's welfare. Besides who are you to say what is beneficial for him? How can you ascertain what is good for him when you cannot even ascertain what is beneficial for you? People evaluate benefits to the best of their ability. You must keep in mind what is good for others, but only to a certain degree, and if conflicts arise as a result, then it is not acceptable.
Questioner: What should we do when we know that
