Mara Anubhavo

Author(s): Urmila S Dholakia
Publisher: Urmila S Dholakia
Catalog link: https://jainqq.org/explore/006971/1

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mArA anubhavo - urmilAbena surendrabhAi dhoLakiyA Clo. DaoN. urvI mehula mahetA 6508, leDana lena betheDA - merIlenDa 20817 (U.S.A.)

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mArA anubhavo. -:dml :zrImatI urmilAbena surendrarAya dhoLakiyA

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prakAzaka : zrImatI urmilAbena surendrarAya dhoLakiyA AvRtti.? prathama 1 mArca, 2014, prata : 1000 prAptisthAna :(1) zrI jI. ke. zAha 33, citrakUTa alTA mAunTa roDa, muMbai (2) mitezabhAi e. zAha e-12, arbudA phleTsa, jUnA TolanAkA sAme, beroneTa kompalekSanI bAjumAM, hAive, " sAbaramatI, amadAvAda - 5. phona naMbara : 079-27503656

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S ane antena sAdara samarpaNa parama pUjya mAtuzrI ane parama pUjya pitAzrInA caraNamAM mArA hRdayamAM uThatA bhAva ke jene A pustikArUpe arpaNa karuM chuM. teoe zikSaNa ane sAdAine jIvanamAM prathama sthAna ApyuM che. teonI A uccabhAvanA ane aMtaranA AzIvadi mane jIvanA jIvavavAnI samaja ane preraNA ApyA. teonA ahobhAvabharcA upakArane koTi koTi vaMdana. - bilAnA pAyalAgaNa ravIkAravA vinatI. ' - SCI US

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( be zakada ) bahenazrI urmilAbena eka anokhuM vyaktitva dharAve che. teo paMcAzI varSanA yuvAna nArI che. teonI khumArI temanA vartanamAM tarI Ave che. jIvanamAM ghaNA taDakA-chAMyaDAmAMthI pasAra thayA che ane deza videzamAM samAjanI samasyAono temane bahoLo anubhava meLavyo che. potAnI anokhI zailImAM teoe potAnA anubhavo rajU karI samAjane jAgRta karavAno prayatna karyo che. teo dharmamAM atyaMta zraddhA dharAve che. nArI zikSaNanA ane saMskAra siMcananA teo himAyatI che. saMgItanA paNa eTalA ja zokhIna che. teoe ema.esa. yunivarsiTInI kanyA hosTelanA vorDana tarIke pacIsa varSa sevA karI che. te samayanI dIkarIone teoe mAtA banIne sAcavI che ane temanA jIvanane ujALyuM che. AzA che A pustaka ghaNA yuvAna mitrone sAruM jIvana jIvavA mATe dIpaka banI raheze. - DaoN. zarmiSThAbena sonejI (kobA Azrama)

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kobA Azrama sAthenA paricayanI jhalaka jI zrImad rAjacaMdra AdhyAtmika sAdhanA kendra, kobA khUba ja zAMta, pavitra ane ramaNIya sthaLa che. A kendranA prANasamA saMtazrI AtmAnaMdajI ane pUjya bahenazrIe kobA AzramanI A adhyAtma-vADIne dharma ane jJAnanuM siMcana karIne vikasAvI che. namratAnI mUrti samA pU. bahenazrIne sadA hAtha joDIne, hasatA cahere dareka mumukSunuM abhivAdana karatAM jovA e paNa eka lhAvo che ! koipaNa mumukSune kAMipaNa jarUriyAta hoya to pU. bahenazrInA kuTiranA daravAjA sadA mATe khullA hoya che. mumukSuo mATeno temano vAtsalyabhAva puponI jema AzramamAM sugaMdha prasarAvI rahyo che. AvA pavitra bhAvo dvArA dareka navA mumukSunuM vaMdana dvArA svAgata thAya che. dareka mumukSu A bhAvabhakti joine bhautika sukhane bhUlI jaine prakullita banI jAya che. AzramanA dareka karmacArI ane mumukSuo khUba dhagaza, bhakti ane samarpaNatApUrvaka sevA tathA sAdhanA kare che. A badhA para pUjya sAhebajI khUba vahAlathI AzIrvAda varasAve che. A joine mastaka jhUkI jAya che. AvA saMtonA sAnidhyamAM rahevAnuM saubhAgya prabhunI kRpAthI ja zakya banI zake. - urmilA dhoLakiyAnA jaya sadaguru vaMdanA

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pustakano paricaya | mArA lekhanuM saMkalana nAnI pustikA rUpe prathamavAra rajU thAya che, jemAM mane thayelA anubhavo sAcA svarUpamAM mUkyA che. bALapaNathI mane lakhavAno zokha hato. dhIredhIre A zokha vadhato gayo, ane eka vakhata meM eka lekha lakhavAnI hiMmata karI ane mArA pitAjIne A lekha vaMcAvyo. pitAjI A lekha vAMcI AnaMdavibhora banI gayA ane zAbAzI ApatAM AzIrvAdanI varSA karI. pitAjInA mukhA upara chalakato Avo AnaMda joIne huM gadgad thaI gaI. A dezya huM kadIpaNa bhUlI zakIza nahIM. A apUrva AnaMdamAM mane spaSTa lAgyuM ke pitAjInI manamAM dabAyelI badhI icchAo ane lAgaNIo A zabdo dvArA rajU thAya che. A bhAvo pitAjInA mukha upara huM vAMcI zakatI hatI. mArA mATe A preraNAnI gaMgotrI hatI ke jemaNe mane vAMcana, lekhana ane manananI mahattA samajAvI dIdhI. prathama lekha ghaNAM varSo pahelAM "akhaMDa AnaMda'mAM "urmilAnA patro" nA nAme chapAyo. te lekha vAraMvAra vAMcatA chatAM pU. pitAzrInuM mana bharAtuM nahotuM. temanA mitro, saMbaMdhIo pAse A viSe vAto karatA. AvI yAdo jiMdagIbhara bhUlAtI nathI ane A prasaMga mArA jIvanamAM yAdagAra banI gayo. AvI nAnI pagadaMDI para cAlatAM Aje A saMkalana, pU. pitAzrIjInI yAdane jIvaMta rAkhavA ApanI samakSa mUkuM chuM. Aje A

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sAhityanA viSayanI mArI bALapothImAM bArAkhaDI lakhavA prayatna karI rahI chuM ane pU. pitAjInA AzIrvAda mane hAtha pakaDIne A keDI upara AgaLa vadhavA prerI rahyA che, e mAruM saubhAgya che. pitAjIne mana sAhitya dunyavI saMpatti karatAM paNa vadhu kiMmatI hatuM ane sadA zikSaNane teoe jIvanamAM paheluM mahattva ApyuM. ApaNA jIvananI pagadaMDI ghaNA utAra ane caDAva vacce pasAra thatI, anubhavanuM bhAthu bAMdhatI jAya che. Aje mArA AvA thoDA anubhavonuM poTaluM ApanA samakSa kholuM chuM. AzA che ke A prasaMgonI prasAdI Apane gamaze. 1 mArA lekho pustakarUpe chapAya te mAruM sapanuM hatuM, A sapanuM pUruM kema karavuM te mahatvano prazna hato. paraMtu A praznano javAba mane maLI gayo. mane khAtarI che ke kobA AzramanA karmayogI zrI mitezabhAI zAha nA maLyA hota to mArI icchA adhUrI raheta. A mATe mitezabhAIno AbhAra mAnuM teTalo ocho che. ' - urmilA dhoLakyiA

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be bola. Aje ApaNI vacce mu. urmilAbena potIkA pustakane laine AvyA che. nAma che - mArA anubhavo. urmilAbena meLAnA mANasa che. vizALa parivAranI dIkarI kariyAvaramAM saMskAranI soDama laine ati buddhizALI patinA sathavAre dhoLakiyA parivAranI savAi sugaMdhamAM bhaLI gai. tuSAra-urvInA bALapaNanA kalarava vacce temaNe "akhaMDa AnaMda', vartamAnapatro vageremAM aneka viSayo upara lakhyuM che. vaDodarAnI ema.esa.yunivarsiTInA leDIjha hosTela sarojinI nAyaDu holanA vorDana (gRhamAtA) rahI cUkelA hoi temanI pAse satya prasaMgo racita vArtAnI kAcI sAmagrIno akhUTa bhaMDAra che. A viSe vAtonI mAMDaNa kare tyAre rUDo caMdaravo sahajatAthI racI jANe che. 85+ nA urmilAbenanA putra ane putrInAM saMtAno mAne che ke amArA dAdI, nAnI upara mAM sarasvatI devInI kRpA che. Aje temanuM A pustaka ApaNane paMcAmRtanI vaheMcaNI karI rahyuM che tyAre huM rararavatIdevIne prArthanA karuM ke, sadA paDiyo bharIne ApatA rahe. - mRdulAbena suzIlabhAi pArekha

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mUkulAbena - mArA Adarza jha zrI mRdulAbenanA hAthamAM kalama AvatAM ja, gaMgAmAtAnI gaMgotrI jevA pavitra dhasamasatA dhodhanA jharaNAM phUTI nIkaLe che. mArA prathama pustakamAM teo nA hoya evuM to bane ja nahIM. meM haju mAgyuM nathI ane palakavAramAM prema bharelI mIThI patAsA jevI prasAdI hAjara thai gai. hRdayanI zuddha naLImAMthI baMsarInA sUra jevA mIThA jharaNAMoe mArA pustakamAM motI verI dIdhA. mRdulAbenanAM pustako ane lekho mArA mATe to kAmadhenu jevA che - je mAgIe te temAMthI maLI jAya che. koipaNa rasa teoe choDyo nathI. AvA mRdulAbena pAse eka ja mAgaNI che ke satata kalamano pravAha cAlu rAkho ane lokonA manane rasamAM jhaboLI AnaMdamaya karo. - urmilA dhoLakiyA

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anukramaNikA che ? ja che ke ? zuM che ? viSaya pAnA naMbara anubhavAtmaka prasaMgo .... phUla khIle che gulazanamAM .. jIvana - triaMkI nATaka............... zikSaNa ja sarvasva .......... huM reDI chuM............... dIkarIno prema......... bhAI prANajIvananA janma prasaMge .... sAcuM sadAvrata. . sabhAva................. samabhAva................................................ samajI jaje............ (10) (11) (12) samaya............................ (13) *** 102 vAtsalya........... jiMdagI ... (14) (15) Choice is yours

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= mArA anubhavo [A badhA prasaMgo jevA banyA che, tevA ja A lekhamAM mUkyA che. badhA satya-prasaMgo che. AmAM hosTelamAM rahetI vidyArthinIo kevA anubhavomAMthI pasAra thAya che tenuM spaSTa citraNa kareluM che. khAsa karIne vidyArthinIonA mAtA-pitAne A prasaMgomAM rasa paDaze.] anubhavAtmaka prasaMga - 1 urmilAbena surendrabhAI dhoLakiyA bALapaNa e kalpanAnuM nagara che, jayAM vicArone uDAna bharavAnI AjhAdI che. A umaramAM icchAonI hAramALA sarjAya che. bALapaNane bhoLapaNanI bakSiza maLI che, tethI jagatamAM thatuM badhuM te sAcuM mAnI le che. duniyAdArInuM DahApaNa tenA anubhavamAM haju praveza pAmI zakyuM nathI tethI saraLatA TakI rahI che. mArA AvA bALapaNane zodhavA huM Aje mathI rahI chuM. tenI yAdonA AchA AchA dRzyo najare caDe che. mane bALapaNathI ja "bArI bahAra nI dekhAtI duniyAmAM rasa hato. jhADa upara caDavuM, dariyAnA mojA sAthe dUra javuM, pavananA susavATA sAthe kudaratanI duniyAmAM khovAI javuM mane ati priya hatuM. javAbadArIno bhAra haju jaNAyo nahoto. A samayamAM vaDodarA Arya kanyA vidyAlayanI chokarIo saMgIta, nATaka, nRtya vagerenA progrAmo ApavA kolakAtA AvI hatI. A kanyAo mArI uMmaranI hatI ane saMsthAnI hosTelamAM rahetI hatI. A jotAM mAro "sanAtana prazna saLavaLI uThyo. mane thayuM ke A chokarIo hosTelamAM potAnI svataMtra duniyAmAM rahIne kevo AnaMda lUMTI rahI che ! mArA manamAM e bhrama paNa hato ke gharanI bahAra rahevuM

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mArA anubhavo eTale AjhAdI. basa, mane thaI gayuM ke mane paNa AvI majhA maLe to kevuM sAruM! paNa bALapaNamAM AvA sapanAonA mahelo to baMdhAyA ja kare che. A sapanuM pUruM to nA thaI zakyuM paNa tenI yAdo manamAM aMkita thaI gaI. dhIre dhIre A yAdo mane kaMIka saMketa Ape che evuM lAgavA mAMDyuM. mane AgAhI thavA lAgI ke mArA manamAM vicArono janma akAraNa nathI thayo. Ama, samaya potAnuM kAma kare che ane je ghaDIno udaya thavAno hoya che te paNa samayasara thAya che. eka sAMje huM gharamAM hatI tyAM daravAje bela vAgyo. meM daravAjo kholyo, tyAM sAme ja traNa yuvatIo UbhelI dekhAI. mArA caherAno AzcaryabhAva jotAM ja teoe kahyuM ke amo vaDodarA ema.esa.yunivarsiTInI hosTela, sarojinI nAyaDu nAmanI leDIjha hosTelamAM rahetI vidyArthInIo chIe. Aje ja amone cIpha vorDananI oNphisa taraphathI samAcAra maLyA che ke tamArI amArA hosTelanI gRhamAtA tarIke nimaNUka thaI che. (ahIM gRhamAtAne vorDana kahe che) A sAMbhaLI amArI hosTelanI kamiTIe nakkI karyuM ke tamArA svAgata mATe "velakama pArTInuM Ayojana karavuM. tethI amo tamone A mATe AmaMtraNa ApavA AvyA chIe. yuvatIonA caherA uparano AnaMda joI mane khUbaja khuzI thaI. yuvatIoe premathI kahyuM ke tamo amArA gRhamAtA ane amo tamArI dIkarIo! A sAMbhaLI mAruM mana hetathI ubharAI gayuM. A ghaDIno AnaMda huM bhUlI zakuM tema nathI. AvI manoramya taka sAmethI AvI hatI. A prabhunI kRpA che tenI khAtarI thaI gaI. eka ja divasamAM huM 300kanyAnI mAtA banI gaI. AnAthI vadhu saubhAgya zuM hoI zake? mArI eka dIkarI

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= mArA anubhavo paNa mana nA bharAya eTalo prema Ape che to A to 300 dIkarIonI premavarSAhuM kema jhIlI zakIza?sahasA eka kAvyamanamAM gUMjI rahyuM, "jananInI joDa jage nahIM jaDe re lola" zuM kavinI A paMktine huM sArthaka karI zakIza? vicAranA kAphalAe mane gherI lIdhI. mAbApa thI dUra rahetI chokarIone mA jevo prema ApI zakIza? kumaLIvayamAM khIlatI kaLIone jamAnAnA jhApaTAthI bacAvI zakIza? chokarIonI svataMtratA ane hosTelanA niyamonuM niyaMtraNa - A banneno meLa sugamatAthI sAdhI zakIza? A mATe to mAre ja pahelAM dhIraja ane premanA pATha zIkhavA paDaze. A kanyAo ke je haju mugdhAvasthAnI mIThAza ane yauvanakALanI surakhIomAM pravezI rahI che - AvA brahmamuhUrtano udayakALa ! AvI cinagArIone kema sAcavavI? kaDakAi, dabANa ke salAcasUcananuM keTaluM jora? AvI pAtaLI dorane keTalI kheMcAya ? eka vakhata tUTatI dora haMmezano phAMsalo paNa ubho karI zake. AvA praznonI lAMbI katAra UbhI thaI gaI. manamAM khAtarI thaI gaI ke A aMdhakAramAM phakta prabhu ja prakAza ApI zakaze ane A bhagavAne ja kharA samaye aMtaranA mAMhyalAne saceta karI dIdhuM ke phakta eka daDhanizcaya karaje, "badhAnI mA banaje." potAnI dIkarI ke bIjAnI dIkarI evo bheda bhUlI jaje. prabhuno A saMdeza mananA tAra upara gUMjI uThyo. dIkarIo sarpanA bhArA nahIM paNa phUlanA hAra che evI pratIti - thavA lAgI. AvI preraNAno strota prApta thatAM ja manamAM yojanAo ubharAvA lAgI. dhairya ane vIratA jevA guNo vikasAvavAnI jarUriyAta samajAI. ekAeka huM vAmanamAMthI virATa banI houM evI anubhUti thaI. mArA manamaMdiranI maDhulI sAme vizALa havelI ubhI thaI evuM lAgyuM.

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mArA anubhavo have bIjo kAryavibhAga sAme Avyo - kAryakSetranI vizALatA AMkha samakSa khaDI thaI gaI yunivarsiTI ophisanuM kArya, paisAnI levaDadevaDa, hisAbakhAtu, kanyAonI bhojana vyavasthA, AkhA hosTelanI surakSA, svacchatA ane hosTelanA niyamonuM pAlana - A badhI bAbatamAM mAruM jJAna zUnya hatuM. ajANyA pradezanI saphara hatI. bhagavAnane aMtaramAM yAda karyA ane teonA AzIrvAda mAgIne vicAryuM ke kAma kAmane zIkhave che. evI zraddhA rAkhIne kadama baDhAvavA zarU karyA. Ama, bALapaNanuM sapanuM pratyakSa banyuM. - have zarU thAya che, hosTelanA sTeja uparano prathama ane agatyano aMka, jemAM mArI AvaData ane samaja banneno mukhya rola che. A raMgamaMca upara pahelo prasaMga evo bhajavAI gayo ke jene mane bhaviSyanI muzkelIomAM khullA dile, ahaMbhAvathI mukta rahIne pATha kema bhajavavo tenI UMDI samaja ApI dIdhI. to hAjara che prathama aMkanuM prathama dazya : - "bahena, yunivarsiTInA sikyorITI ophisara Apane maLavA mAge che. meM temane ApanI oNphisamAM besADyA che." ophisanA paTAvALA mohane AvIne mane kahyuM. A sikyorITI ophisara viSe haju mane cIpha vorDana oNphisa taraphathI koI mAhitI nahotI maLI tethI huM thoDI sateja thaI gaI. "bena, namaste, huM sikyorITI ophisara chuM." jhINI AMkho karIne potAno ruAba batAvatAM ophisare potAno paricaya Apyo. - "hA, meM prathamavAra tamone joyA. bolo, kema AvavuM paDyuM?" meM prazna karyo.

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mArA anubhavo bena, rUma naMbara ekamAM rahetA sapanAbenane bolAvazo? mAre thoDI mAhitI joie chIe." mane javAba sAMbhaLI navAI lAgI ke sapanAbena naMbara ekamAM rahe che, te A ophisara kevI rIte jANe che? paNa huM taddana navI hatI ane A bAbatathI ajANa hatI tethI mane thayuM ke A hosTelanA niyamamAM haze. tethI meM sapanAne AphasamAM bolAvI. sapanAne jotAM ja ophisare prazno zarU karyA -"bena, gaI kAle rAtre hosTelamAM keTalA vAge AvyA? tamArA sAthe koNa hatuM?" mane tarata lAgyuM ke A ophisara AvA prazno kyA adhikAre pUche che ? A bAbate huM tene savAla karuM te pahelAM ja sapanAe A vAtanI lagAma potAnA hAthaMmAM laI lIdhI ane nIDaratAthI javAba Apyo, ke tamAre ciMtA karavAnI jarUra nathI. A bAbatanI javAbadArI huM barAbara samaju chuM ane je amArA hosTelanA niyamo che tenuM huM barAbara pAlana karuM chuM. gaIkAle niyama pramANe meM vorDana pAsethI Late Pass lIdho hato ane samayasara hosTela pAchA AvIne rajisTaramAM sahI paNa karI hatI. sapanAnA caherA upara AtmavizvAsanI pratIti hatI. te siniyara TuDanTa hatI ane teNe koI niyama toDyo nahoto. tethI DaravAne badale teNe ophisarane sAmethI savAla pUchyo ke tamone A savAla pUchavAno adhikAra koNe Apyo ke huM kyAM gaI hatI, konA sAthe gaI hatI? keTalA vArge AvI? A mArI potAnI vAta che, je jANavAnI tamAre zuM jarUrata che? A sAMbhaLI ophisara gabharAI gayo kAraNa ke tenI dhamakAvavAnI pola pAdharI thaI gaI hatI. tethI teno abhimAnano nazo utarI gayo ane sAmethI mAphI mAgavI paDI.

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= mArA anubhavo mArA mATe A taddana navo anubhava hato, jethI huM samajI nA zakI ke mAre zuM karavuM? mane e vAtanI jarUra pratIti thaI ke huM kAMI boluM te pahelAM ja sapanAe potAnI rIte A koyaDAno ukela lAvavAnuM nakkI karyuM che, ane saccAIpUrvaka te sAmano karI rahI hatI. tethI meM mauna rahIne tene samarthana ApyuM. A prasaMge mane eka anubhavapATha zIkhavI dIdho, ane bhaviSya mATe ghaNA sUcano ApyA ke je gRhamAtA mATe jANavA khUbaja jarUrI hatA. A prasaMga pachI meM ophisaranI "DyuTI' vize jhINavaTathI tapAsa karI. A tapAsa pachI meM cIpha vorDanane rIporTa karyo ane yunivarsiTInA sIkyorITI ophisara viSenI badhI hakIkata jaNAvI ke potAnA hodAnA niyamanI bahAra jaIne A ophisare eka ja TuDanTane kAraNa vagaranA savAlo pUchIne dhamakAvavA prayatna karyo hato. bhaviSyamAM AvI ghaTanA pharI nA bane te mATe ophisara upara kaDaka pagalAM levA joie. ema meM riporTamAM sUcavyuM. koIpaNa AvA ophisare leDIjha hosTelamAM AvI bAbato mATe AvavuM hoya te pahelAM teNe cIpha vorDananI paramIzana levI joie, ane pachI paravAnagIno maMjUrIpatra laIne ja leDIjha hosTelamAM AvavuM. A mATe badhI vorDanone bolAvIne niyamo nakkI karI, "ophIzIyalI" jAhera karavA A vAta cIpha vorDananI oNphisamAM nakkI thaI gaI. A prasaMge mane saceta karI detA evo pATha zIkhavyo ke pachInA dareka prasaMge huM A bhUlane yAda karIne ja nirNaya letI. mane spaSTa thaI gayuM ke A TuDanToe mArA para vizvAsa rAkhyo che to pharI koI AvA prasaMgo Ave tyAre mAre teonI sAthe khullA dile carcA karIne banne pakSa vacce

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= mArA anubhavo samAdhAna thAya tevo rasto zodhavo joIe. Ama karavAthI banne pakSa vacce vizvAsa vadhaze, ane zAMtipUrvaka huM teone kAMIpaNa mArgadarzana ApIza to teo sAMbhaLaze ane samasyAnuM nirAkaraNa paNa sArI rIte Avaze. AjanA samayamAM yuvAnavarga ane vaDIlonA "rIlezanazIpa' mAM A kaDI ja khUTe che evuM A prasaMge mane spaSTa dekhAyuM. ahaMbhAva paNa AmAM bhAga bhajavI jAya che.. * Aje mArA 25 varSanA hosTela jIvananA prasaMgonuM nirIkSaNa karuM chuM. tyAre mane dekhAya che ke pahelA prasaMga uparathI maLelI zIkhe mane bhUlothI kema bacavuM teno rAha dekhADyo. A samajane kAraNe hajAro chokarIone anyAya na thAya te mATe huM jAgRta rahetI ane chokarIo paNa vartanamAM saccAI lAvavA prayatna karatI. Ama, yuvAna varganI yuvatIo sAthe mArI jiMdagInI saphara sadAne mATe akhaMDa AnaMda banI gaI. tArIkha : 19-8-2013 lekhikAH urmilA esa. dhoLakiyA vorDana (gRhamAtA) sarojinI nAyaDu hola, leDIjha hosTela, ema.esa. yunivarsiTI, vaDodarA. = [ ] =

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mArA anubhavo. anubhavAtmaka prasaMga - 2 - urmilAbena surendrabhAI dhoLakiyA hosTelamAM "TuDanTo mATenI rAta anokhI hoya che. darekanI rAtriyAtrA vividha prakAranI hoya che. koIne vAMcavAnI zarUAtamAM ja UMgha Ave che, koine parIkSAnI ciMtAmAM UMdha uDI jAya che, koI cA pIne jAge che to koI cA pIne UMghI jAya che. Ama, "cA" nI mahattA che. huM jyAre hosTelamAM rAtrinA rAunDamAM nIkaLuM chuM tyAre kAna khullA rAkhuM chuM. badhI bahenapaNIo potAnA grupa sAthe eka rUmamAM bhegI thAya che. divasano thAka utAratAM divasanAM zuM zuM banyuM tenI rasabharI vAto ane AnaMdabharyuM hAsya, AmAM mazagUla banI jAya che. Avo amUlya samaya to AvA sthaLe ja saMbhavI zake che. AvA ramaNIya vAtAvaraNamAM eke rAtanA evI eka ghaTanA banI gaI ke je haju sudhI huM bhUlI nathI. te rAtanA sADA daze huM sUvA gaI, thoDIvAramAM ja nidrAdhIna thaI gaI. A samaye mArA kAna upara chokarIonI bUmo saMbhaLAI. A sAMbhaLatAM ja mArI AMkha khulI gaI ane huM gharanA daravAjA bahAra nIkaLI ane joyuM ke chokarIo cora-coranI bUmo pADatI doDatI hatI. huM paNa teonI pAchaLa doDI tyAM joyuM ke be chokarIo khUba gabharAyelI hatI ane bIjI chokarIo teone pakaDIne tenA rUma tarapha jatI hatI. banne chokarIo mane joine rovA jevI thaI gaI. banne chokarIone bAthamAM laI lIdhI ane sAMtvanA ApI. teonI rUmamAM amo gayA. bannene pANI pAIne zAMta karyA. mane

Page #20
= mArA anubhavo lAgyuM ke eka bena je banAva banyo hato tenI vAta karavA mAMgatI hatI. mane paNa tenA moDhethI vigato jANavAnI iMtejArI hatI. hosTelanI eka rUmamAM A be chokarIo rahe che. bannene ekabIjA sAthe sArI maitrI che. AvA samaye maitrI ane hUMpha bahuja jarUrI che. eka bene potAnI vitakakathA zarU karI : "rAtanA sADA dasa vAgyA pachI amo banne vAta karatAM sUI gayA. mane jhaDapathI UMgha AvI gaI. thoDIvAra pachI UMghamAM ja mane evo AbhAsa thayo ke mArA gaLAnI AsapAsa koIno hAtha pharI rahyo che, huM tarata ja jhabakIne jAgI gaI, ane meM eka mANasane mArA palaMga pAse Ubhelo joyo. huM thoDI gabharAI gaI, paNa meM tarata ja pelA mANasano hAtha pakaDI lIdho. A kAma eTaluM jhaDapathI thayuM ke pelo mANasa khUba ja gabharAI gayo ane potAno hAtha jhaTako mArIne choDAvIne daravAjA tarapha bhAgyo. A daramyAna bIjI bena paNa jAgI gaI ane amo banne tenI pAchaLa doDyA. bIjI chokarIoe A joyuM ane teo paNa amArI pAchaLa "cora, cora' nI bUmo pADatA doDyA, paNa amo te corane pakaDI zakyA nahIM. te mukhya daravAjAnI bahAra nIkaLIne tarata adRzya thaI gayo." . bene vAta AgaLa vadhAratAM kahyuM ke mAruM mAnavuM che ke A cora plAna karIne je Avyo hato. mane UMghane AdhIna joine te mArA ceInane koI hathiyArathI kaTa karIne corI javAnI tenI nema hatI, paNa jyAre te ceInane kADhavA gayo tyAre ceIna thoDI gaLAmAM ghasAI ane A kAraNe ja huM jAgI gaI ane cora ceIna paDato mUkIne bhAgyo. A mANase potAnuM AkhuM moM kapaDAthI DhAMkI dIdhuM hatuM. phakta tenI AMkho dekhAtI hatI tethI

Page #21
mArA anubhavo = huM tenA caherAne joI nA zakI. A badhI vigato sAMbhaLIne mane thayuM ke A benanI hiMmata gajabanI hatI. aMdhArAmAM potAnA palaMga pAse koI mANasane Ubhelo jovo ane gabharAyA vagara hiMmatathI teno hAtha pakaDI levo te keTaluM moTuM sAhasa che ! Ave samaye corano sAmano karavo e moTuM sAhasa hatuM. A kAraNe ja cora ceInane paDato mUkIne bhAgyo ane AvI bahAdurIne kAraNe benane badale cora DarI gayo ne potAnuM kAma pUruM karyA vagara bhAgyo. jo bena DarI gaI hota to cora kadAca tenuM gaLuM dabAvIne ceIna kADhI leta. paNa acAnaka A bene jevo jorathI hAtha pakaDyo ke tarata te gabharAIne sAme thavAne badale potAne bacAvavA bhAgyo. - A vigato sAMbhaLIne sauthI pahelA to meM te benane zAbAzI ApI ane kahyuM ke te Aje saMjogono sAmano karIne sva-rakSA potAnA hAthe karI ne amo badhAne ghaNuM zIkhavI dIdhuM che. have, huM jarUra A ghaTanAnA jaDamULamAM jaIne teno ukela lAvyA vagara choDIza nahIM. A ukela lAvavA mATenI yojanAo mArA manamAM zarU thaI gaI. mane lAgyuM ke A vAta jo vadhAre samaya phelAze to tenuM pariNAma kharAba Avaze tethI bIjA divase ja meM kAma zarU karI dIdhuM. mane lAgyuM ke A corInI pAchaLa koI geMga kAma karI rahI che, jemAM koI lIDaranuM A plAnIMga che ane hosTelanI aMdarano mANasa paNa A kAmamAM mAhitI ApIne madada karato lAge che; jenA vagara hosTelanI aMdara AvuM kAma thaI zake nahIM. lIDara pAse A vize jarUrI mAhitI hovI joIe ke kyA rUmamAM chokarI rahe che, je haMmezA ceIna pahere che. A chokarI upara tenI najara haze. - 10

Page #22
mArA anubhavo A badhI mAhitI lIdhA pachI ja te lIDare tenA mANasane rAtanA ceInanI corI karavA mokalyo haze ane hosTelanI AsapAsa tenI geMganA mANaso A corane madada karavA goThavyA haze. A vicAro AvatAM acAnaka mArA magajamAM eka jhabakAro thayo ke kadAca A banAva ane yunivarsiTIno sIkyorITI ophisara ke jeno mane bhUtakALamAM kaDavo anubhava maLI cUkyo hato teno AmAM kAMI saMbaMdha haze? ane A banAva paNa rAtanA banyo hato ane koI vakhata A ophisara rAtanA hosTelomAM rAunDa mAravA Avato hato. A savAle mane jarA jAgRta karI dIdhI ke A vahemamAM kadAca kAMI vajuda hoya ! mane have lAgavA mAMDyuM ke have amArI hosTelanA rAtanA paTAvALA pAsethI A bAbatanI vadhu jANakArI jarUra maLaze. tethI tene mArA ghare bolAvyo ane pUchaparacha zarU karI -meM savAla karyo. "tame corInA banAva viSe zuM jANo cho?' javAbamAM teNe kahyuM, "hA bena, mane badhI khabara paDI che.' - "corI thaI te vakhate tame kyAM hatA?" - "bena, te samaye huM bAtharUmamAM hato ane jevI cora, coranI bUmo sAMbhaLI ke huM tarata doDIne bahAra Avyo." "tamo bAtharUmamAM gayA hatA tyAre mukhya daravAjo baMdha karIne gayA hatA?" "hA, bena daravAjo baMdha karIne gayo hato ane cAvI mArA pAse hatI." 'to cora bahAra kevI rIte bhAgyo? bena, e ja mane samaja nathI paDatI. meM ghaNI tapAsa karI paNa samaja nathI paDatI." "A bAbata tamone koI upara zaMkA che?' meM pUchyuM. * : 11

Page #23
mArA anubhavo nA, bena huM kAMIpaNa jANato nathI. mArA varasonA anubhavamAM A pahelo prasaMga che." Ama teNe vAto karI ane potAno bacAva karyo. A uparathI spaSTa lAgatuM hatuM ke, te jUThuM bolI rahyo che. kemake mukhya daravAjAnI cAvI tenA pAse hatI ane cora A daravAjA sivAya koI rIte AvI ke bhAgI zakata nahIM. mane thayuM ke haju thoDI vadhu tapAsa karIne thoDA sabuta bhegA karuM. pachI pharI paTAvALAne bolAvuM. meM pharI tapAsa zarU karI. amArA ekaja kampAunDamAM sAmasAme 3 leDIjha hosTela che. bIjI hosTelanA rAtanA paTAvALAne eka pachI eka khAnagImAM mAre ghera bolAvyA ane badhAne vizvAsamAM laIne pUchaparacha zarU karI. A badhA paTAvALAomAMthI eka paTAvALAe mArA upara vizvAsa rAkhIne jaNAvyuM ke "corInA banAvanI rAte, rAtrinA daza vAgyA pachI yunivarsiTIno sikyorITI ophisara hosTelanI bahAra tamArA rAtanA paTAvALA sAthe kAMIka masalata karato hato. A meM najaronajara joyuM che.' basa, A satya hakIkate mane evuM baLa ApyuM ke jenA kAraNe huM saphaLatA meLavI zakI. mane ema thayuM ke bhagavAna A rIte mane madada karI rahyo che. mAro vahema sAco paDaze evuM mane lAgavA mAMDyuM. meM pharI amArA paTAvALAne ghare bolAvyo ane tene vizvAsamAM laIne badhI satya hakIkata jaNAvavA kahyuM. meM tene kahyuM, "jo bhAI mane badhI khabara paDI gaI che, dareka vAtanI pAkI kaDI maLI gaI che. ane have tuM kAMipaNa khoTuM bolIza to tuM jAte ja pakaDAI jaiza. jo tuM sAcuM bolIza to A vakhate huM tane jarUra mAphI apAvIza. A vAtanI khAtarI rAkhaje. ane koIpaNa bahAnA kADhIne tuM khoTuM bolIza to phasAto jaIza 12

Page #24
= mArA anubhavo ane vAta khUba AgaLa vadhI jaze. pachI yunivarsiTImAM khabara phelAI jatAM tArI nokarI paNa tuM gumAvIza. kAMIpaNa chupAvyA vagara sAcuM bolavA sivAya tArA pAse koI upAya nathI ane polisanI pakaDamAMthI paNa tuM bacI jaIza.' - mArI A vAto upara tene vizvAsa beTho ane jorathI raDI paDyo. teNe kahyuM ke "bena, mane bacAvI lyo. jo mArI nokarI jaze to huM gharabAra badhuM gumAvI besIza ane rastAno bhikhArI banI jaiza. tamo dayALu cho tethI mane vizvAsa che ke tamo mane bacAvI lezo. Aje huM taddana satya hakIkata tamArA pAse rajU karuM chuM ane tamone vizvAsapUrvaka kahuM chuM ke AvuM kAma pharI kadI nahIM karuM." teNe vAtanI saccAI batAvatAM kahyuM ke "bena, ATalA varaso sudhI ame hosTelamAM prAmANikapaNe varyAM chIe, paNa A sikyorITI ophisara jyArathI AvyA che tyArathI amo badhA paTAvALAo khUba muzkelI anubhavI rahyA chIe. ophisara eTalo badho khataranAka che ke te game tyAre kAMipaNa karI zake che. tethI amo badhA tenAthI khUba DarIe chIe. te tenI geMga sAthe AvA kAmo karAve che. paNa koI tenI sAme DaranA mAryA bolatuM nathI. Aje tamoe vizvAsapUrvaka vacana ApyuM che tethI tamone sAcI hakIkata jaNAvuM chuM, jethI yunivarsiTImAM rIporTa karIne tamo tenA upara pagalAM levaDAvI zakazo." paTAvALAe tenA dilanI dardanAka kahAnI saMbhaLAvIne corInI rajeraja hakIkta kahI ke A kAmanA lIDara sIkyorITI ophisara che. tenA plAnIMga pramANe teNe cAre tarapha geMga goThavI hatI ane corane ceInanI orI karavA mATe mokalyo hato. mane kahyuM hatuM ke "tAre daravAjo khullo IT 13.

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mArA anubhavo rAkhavAno che, tene tALu devAnuM nathI ane A samaya daramyAna bAtharUmamAM rahevAnuM che. mArI geMga zAMtithI A kAma patAvI deze. koine paNa khabara nahIM paDe. tAre gabharAvAnI jarUra nathI. kAMIpaNa thAya to tAre mAruM nAma laIne chUTI javuM. badhI javAbadArI mArI che. daza-paMdara miniTamAM A kAma patI jaze. ane jo tuM A vAta nahIM mAne to tArI nokarI tuM gumAvIza. tAruM kuTuMba duHkhI thaI jaze. bena, A vAtothI huM eTalo badho DarI gayo ke mAre tenI vAta mAnavI ja paDI. tenA plAna pramANe jo chokarI jAgI gaI na hota to tenuM kAma AsAnIthI pUruM thaI gayuM hota ane kAnokAna khabara paNa na paData. AvI rIte ja te AvA kAmo karI rahyo che." meM paTAvALAne satya hakIkata jaNAvavA mATe AbhAra mAnyo ane tAro vALa paNa vAMko nahIM thAya tevo vizvAsa Apyo. Ama, zAMti ane sahelAithI AvA moTA koyaDAno aMta Avyo te mATe prabhuno aMtarathI pADa mAnyo. have mAre A vAta yunivarsiTIne saMpUrNapaNe asarakAraka bane tevI rIte pahoMcADavAnI hatI, jethI karIne yuddhanA dhoraNe A kAma pAra paDe. A ghaTanAmAM sikyorITI ophisara sabuta sAthe pakaDAI gayo hato te paNa eka mukhya muddo hato. have mAruM mukhya kAma e hatuM ke A banelA banAvanI badhI hakIkata ke jemAM yunivarsiTInA sikyorITI ophisara jeno hoddo vidyArthinIonI rakSA karavAno hato te rakSaka pote ja bhakSaka banI gayo hato - teno rIporTa amArA yunivarsiTInA ceramenane karavAno hato. A rIporTamAM A vAta mAre puravAra karavAnI hatI, ane jaNAvavAnuM hatuM ke A ophisara potAnA hoddAno upayoga A rIte karIne bhaviSyamAM 14

Page #26
= mArA anubhavo vidyArthinI mATe keTalI badhI musIbata ubhI karI zake che. * A prasaMganA pahelA eka prasaMga mArI hosTelamAM A sikyorITI ophisara sAthe banyo hato tenA anusaMdhAnamAM meM spaSTa zabdomAM amArA ceramenane jaNAvyuM ke have A bAbate yuddhanA dhoraNe pagalAM levAno samaya AvI gayo che. meM A rIporTa ceramenane purAvA sAthe mokalyo, jenuM pariNAma adabhuta AvyuM. amArA ceramena A bAbatanI vigato jANI coMkI gayA ane tarata ja yuddhanA dhoraNe kAma zarU karI dIdhuM. ghaNA khAtAomAM teoe A ophisara mATe jhINavaTathI tapAsa karI ane badhA taraphathI kharAba rIporTa maLyA, jethI amAro kesa majabUta thaI gayo. badhI tapAsa pUrI thayA pachI amArA ceramenano amArI oNphisa para javAba Avyo ke yunivarsiTInI kamiTIe sIkyorITI ophisaranI hakAlapaTTIno nirNaya lIdho che. AvuM kaDaka pagaluM yunivarsiTI mATe levuM adharuM hatuM. to paNa te levAyuM e amArA mATe gauravanI vAta hatI. Ane kAraNe vidyArthinI uparanuM bhaviSyanuM jokhama dUra thaI gayuM ane A banAvathI vidyArthinIomAM jAgRti paNa AvI gaI. mane e vAte AnaMda thAya che ke sarojinI nAyaDu hosTelanI eka benanA sAhasa ane hiMmatathI vidyArthinIonuM bhaviSya AvA ophisaranA jokhamI kAmathI surakSita banI gayuM. A saphaLatAnA kharA hakadAra to te bena ja che. hosTelamAM kempasamAM rahetA badhA vidyArthinIone A prasaMga preraNA ApI zake che. A prasaMga pachI paNa vAta pUrI nathI thatI. lobha ane lAlaca lokone keTalI hada sudhI nIcA pADI zake che, tenuM daSTAMta pharI ApaNA A ophisara ane tenI geMge pUruM karI batAvyuM. 15

Page #27
mArA anubhavo eka divasa savAre eka lokala chApuM mArA mATe mahattvanA samAcAra laine AvyuM. pahelA pAne ja sauthI "moTA samAcAra" mArA mATe e hatA ke yunivarsiTImAM agAu kAma karatA hatA te sIkyorITI ophisara tenI geMga sAthe amuka sthaLethI rAtanA corI karatA raMge hAtha pakaDAyA A samAcAre amoe je kAma karyuM hatuM te keTaluM badhuM mahatvanuM ane samayasaranuM hatuM te puravAra karI dIdhuM. tArIkha : 19-8-2013 lekhikAH urmilA esa. dhoLakiyA vorDana (gRhamAtA) sarojinI nAyaDa hola, leDIjha hosTela, ema.esa. yunivarsiTI, vaDodarA. = = [ 5 ] = =

Page #28
mArA anubhavo ManubhavAtmaka prasaMga - 3 - urmilAbena surendrabhAI dhoLakiyA vaDodarAnI ema.esa. yunivarsiTI (mahArAjA sayAjIrAva yunivarsiTI) vizvamAM prasiddha che. A yunivarsiTInuM mAdhyama aMgrejI hovAthI duniyAbharamAMthI vidyArthIo ahIM bhaNavA Ave che. dareka viSayanI phekalTIthI A yunivarsiTI sajja che te gauravanI vAta che. bIjI khAsa vAta e che ke deza-videzamAMthI bhaNavA AvatA vidyArthIone rahevA mATenI hosTelo paNa ahIMnA jeTalI koi dezamAM nathI. vidyArthinIonI cAra (leDIjha hosTela) ane vidyArthInI 13 (boyajha hosTela) - jenI pratyeka hosTelamAM lagabhaga 300 jeTalA vidyArthIo rahe che. Ama, eka ja kempasamAM hajAro vidyArthIo potAnA dezanI vividhatA laine Ave che. - AvuM adbhuta kArya karavAno jaza vaDodarAnA mahArAjA sayAjIrAva gAyakavADanA agAdha jJAna-premane phALe jAya che. A yunivarsiTInI sarojinI nAyaDu hosTelamAM mane gRhamAtAnA kAma mATe niyukta karavAmAM AvI. vidyAnagarInA vAtAvaraNamAM rahevAno mane amUlya lAbha maLyo ane vidyArthinIo dvArA deza-videzanI vividhatAnuM darzana thai gayuM. eno mane khUba AnaMda che. amArI sarojinI devI hosTelamAM AphrikAmAM vasatA gujarAtI parivAranI chokarIonuM pramANa sAruM evuM che. A chokarIone kAraNe eka nAnA AphrikAe janma lIdho che, jemAM chokarIoe eka nAnuM maMDaLa banAvI lIdhuM che; jemAM rAtanA phurasadanA samayamAM baheno bhegI thAya che 17

Page #29
mArA anubhavo ane gapATAnA golagappA uDAve che. hAsyanA A phuvArAnI mastI jovAnI majhA Ave che. huM paNa koI samaye A AnaMdamAM bhAgIdAra banavA sAmela thaI jauM chuM. A uMmaranI A muktadazA e paNa eka amUlya taka che. Avo AnaMda mANatI A chokarIone joIne mane khUba ja AnaMda thAya che. Ama, chokarIo sAthe haLavA maLavAnI taka maLe che ane ghaNI vakhata teo vinA saMkoce mArA rUmamAM AvIne nAnA-moTA problema hoya to tenuM nirAkaraNa karI jAya che. AvI rIte parivAranI lAgaNI paNa saMtoSAya che. jIvanamAM prasaMgo bane che tema hosTelamAM paNa prasaMgo banI jAya che. pharI pAchA eka prasaMganI vAta rajU karuM chuM. baporanA jamyA pachI huM ArAma karavA vicAratI hatI tyAM daravAje TakorA paDyA. meM bAraNuM kholyuM tyAM mArA phleTa pAsenI lobImAM rahetI sunItA tenI bahenapaNIo sAthe udAsa cahere ubhI hatI. mane lAgyuM ke jarUra kAMika, aNagamato banAva banI gayo che, tethI meM benone rUmamAM bolAvI ane zuM vAta banI che te jANavA prayatna karyo. vAtanI zarUAta karatAM ja sunItA raDI paDI. tyArabAda jarA zAMta thaI tyAre teNe vAta zarU karI, "AnTI, Aje mArI eka phrenDa bahAragAmathI AvavAnI hatI. tene teDavA mATe sTezana javuM hatuM tethI huM utAvaLe nAhavA gaI ane meM mArI sonAnI ceIna ane baMgaDI utArIne bAtharUmamAM eka tarapha bArI para mUkyA. koI vakhata huM dAgInA paheruM chuM tyAre Ama ja nahAtI vakhate utArIne bAtharUmamAM mUkuM chuM ane nAhIne tarata paherI lauM chuM. paNa Aje mane 18

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= mArA anubhavo sTezane javAnuM Tenzana hatuM. tethI utAvaLamAM huM dAgInA paheravAnuM bhUlI gaI ane dAgInA bAtharUmamAM ja rahI gayA. huM mArI bahenapaNI sAthe sTezana javA nIkaLI paDI. thoDIvAra pachI sTezana jatA rastAmAM mane dAgInA yAda AvyA. huM khUba ja gabharAI gaI. meM mArI bahenapaNIne sTezane mokalI ane huM tarata ja hosTela para pAchI AvI, sIdhI bAtharUmamAM gaI paraMtu aphasosa tyAM dAgIna nahotA. huM khUba ja gabharAI gaI. bAjunI bAtharUmamAM tapAsa karI, AjubAjunI rUmomAM rahetI chokarIomAM pUchatAcha karI paNa badhAe kahyuM ke A bAbatanI amone kAMI ja khabara nathI. mArI bahenapaNIoe paNa tapAsa karI paNa badhA taraphathI nakAra nA samAcAra maLyA, tethI hatAza thaine tamArI pAse AvyA. tamone A bAbatano anubhava che tethI sAruM pariNAma Avaze evI AzA che." sunItAnI vAta sAMbhaLIne mane khUba duHkha thayuM. meM teone sAtvanA ApIne Ano ukela jarUra Avaze evI AzA darzAvI. mArI hAjarImAM AvA banAvo banyA che ane tenA upara karelI mahenate sArA pariNAma ApyA che, bhagavAna kRpAe AmAM paNa ApaNe saphaLa thaizuM. Ama samajAvIne sunItAne zAnta karI. . sunItAnA gayA pachI mAruM mana cakaDoLe caDI gayuM. A bAbate kyAM ane kevI rIte tapAsa karavI, kyAMthI mAhitI meLavavI? AvuM kAma koNa karI zake ? vicArono bojo vadhato gayo. amuka siniyara vidyArthinIo DAhI ane vizvAsa mUkI zakAya tevI hatI. A chokarIo hosTelamAM ghaNo samaya thayA rahetI hatI. tethI amuka chokarIone zuM Teva hoya che vagerenI mAhitI hatI. A bAbatamAM jhINavaTathI tapAsa karavAnuM 19

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= mArA anubhavo kAma teone soMpyuM. Ama, cAre tarapha A kAma zarU karI dIdhuM. paraMtu pariNAma dekhAtuM nahotuM. traNa divasa thavA AvyA hatA. paNa AzAnA kiraNo dekhAtA nahotA. huM dararoja rAtre sunItAnA rUmamAM jatI hatI. badhI chokarIo sunItAne A zokamAMthI bahAra lAvavA prayatna karatI hatI. badhA A udAsInatAne dUra karavA eka ja AzvAsana ApatA hatA ke sunItA, tuM zraddhA rAkhaje ke tArA nasIbamAMthI A tArI cIja koI laI zakavAnuM nathI. nasIbamAM haze to sAmethI tArA pAse jarUra Avaze. A zIkha sivAya amArA pAse bIjo koI upAya nahoto. sunItA kahetI hatI ke mArI mammIe premathI mArA mATe A dAgInAnI DijhAIna taiyAra karAvI hatI. A vAta mArAthI bhUlAtI nathI. huM A vAta mammIne kevI rIte jaNAvIza? Ave samaye potAnI mA bahu yAda Ave e svAbhAvika che. A badhI vAto sAMbhaLIne bhAre hRdaye huM mArA phaleTamAM AvI. manamAM vAraMvAra pojhITIva vicAro TakorA mAratA hatA paNa koI ukela dekhAto nahoto. AvI sthitimAM sophA para jarAka ADI paDI ke tarata daravAjAno bela vAgyo. manamAM camakAro thayo ke A bhagavAna upara rAkhelI zraddhAno javAba kadAca hoI zake! AzAbharyA hRdaye meM daravAjo kholyo. mArI sAme ja sunItAnA rUmathI thoDe dUra rahetI maniSA UbhelI dekhAI. tenA caherA upara AnaMdanI lahera mane dekhAI, mArA aMtaramAM sunItAno hasato cahero dekhAyo. maniSAe vAta zarU karatA kahyuM, "AnTI mApha karajo, jarA moDI paDI chuM. = | 20 | = 20. =

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= mArA anubhavo paNa tamArA mATe eka khuzakhabara lAvI chuM." A sAMbhaLatA ja mAruM haiyuM nAcI uThyuM. manamAM harakha chavAI gayo. have maniSAnI vAta maniSAnA mukhethI sAMbhaLIe. vAtanI zarUAta karatAM maniSAe kahyuM ke AnTI, corInI vAta sAMbhaLI mane khUba ja duHkha thayuM hatuM. sunItAnuM duHkha ane tenI vyathA meM najaronajara joI che. meM tyAre ja manamAM nakkI karI lIdhuM hatuM ke huM A bAbatamAM khUba ja koziza karIne sunItAnA dAgInA zodhavA tanatoDa prayatna karIza. meM A bAbate pUchaparacha zarU karI dIdhI ane eka mAsTara plAna taiyAra karyo. sauthI pahelA huMsunItAne maLI, tenI bahenapaNIo sAthe vAta karI. sunItA keTalA vAge nAhavA gaI hatI? jyAre tene dAgInA yAda AvyA ane pharI bAtharUmamAM kyAre gaI? sunItAne koI upara vahema che? vagere vistArapUrvaka mAhitI meLavI. tenI bahenapaNIoe kahyuM ke amoe paNa A bAbate khUba ja tapAsa karI paraMtu koI mAhitI maLI nahIM. AnTIne paNa dararoja maLIe chIe. Aje ja AnTIe kahyuM che ke teo vicAre che ke have polIsano saMparka karIne A bAbatanI jANakArI ApavI. paraMtu teone ciMtA che ke polisa pAse javAthI hosTelamAM chokarIo upara kevI asara paDaze? mAmalo cagaDoLe to nahIM caDhe ne? AvA vicAramAM teo thoDI rAha jovA mAge che. ' A sAMbhaLI huM kharekhara khUba ja gabharAI gaI ane mArI khAsa bahenapaNI che tene vAta karI ane amoe nakkI karyuM ke badhI rUmamAM je bAIo kAma kare che tene jo vizvAsamAM laIe to kAMika mAhitI maLI zakaze. A mATe amone je bAIo para vizvAsa hato ane jeo sauthI jUnI bAio hatI tene rUmamAM bolAvIne jhINavaTathI pUchaparacha zarU 21

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mArA anubhavo karI. ame teone khAtarI ApI ke A vAtanI mAhitI koIne paNa jaNAvavAmAM nahIM Ave ane AnTI jo A mAmalo polisane soMpaze to bAIone paNa takalIpha bhogavavI paDaze. kAraNa ke A bAbatamAM poliso paNa khoTA AkSepo ThokI besADavA prakhyAta che. bAIo paNa A sAMbhaLI gabharAI gaI ane teoe be-traNa benonA nAmo lIdhA ane kahyuM ke amo koI khAtarI nathI ApatA kAraNake amoe najare joyuM nathI. tethI A bAbatamAM amo paDavA nathI mAgatA. Ama, amoe A vAta upara AgaLa vadhavAno plAna banAvyo. A plAna pramANe sauthI pahelAM hemA nAmanI chokarIne maLavAnuM meM nakkI karyuM. amArI lobImAM ja hemA rahetI hatI tethI tenA rUma pAsethI AvatA-jatA, kema cho? zuM cAle che?" Ama vyavahAra pUrato bolavAno saMbaMdha hato, tethI saMkoca rAkhyA vagara temAM jayAre rUmamAM ekalI hatI tyAre tene huM maLavA gaI. mane joine hemA gabharAI gaI. tenA moM upara jhAMkhapa AvI gaI ane muMjhAyelI hoya evuM mane lAgyuM. meM ADI-avaLI vAto karIne vAtAvaraNane jarA haLavuM banavA dIdhuM ane hemAne mArI vAta sAMbhaLavA taiyAra thAya teTalo samaya Apyo. vAtavAtamAM "hamaNAM hosTelamAM mukhya zuM cAlI rahyuM che?" te muddA para amo banne AvyA. Ama vAta karatA mane mArA mananI vAta karavAnI taka maLI gaI. meM kamara kasI ane hemAne kahyuM ke hamaNAM je corIno banAva banI gayo che, teNe ghaNuM ja gaMbhIra rUpa lIdhuM che. A bAbate AnTI khUba ja sTrIka banI gayA che ane evuM paNa sAMbhaLyuM che ke polisakhAtAmAM AnTInI oLakhANa che tethI A kisso polisane soMpavA vicArI rahyA che, je | 22 )

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mArA anubhavo hosTela mATe khUbaja ciMtAjanaka che. hosTelamAM chokarIonI ane tenA rUmanI tapAsa thAya to AbarUnA kAMkarA thaI jAya ane jo polisane tapAsa karatAM koi chokarI para vahema Avyo to te chokarI khUba ja muzkelImAM AvI jAya. meM jyArathI A sAMbhaLyuM che tyArathI mArI to UMgha uDI gaI che. dhIre dhIre A vAphaprahAra asara karato hoya evuM lAgyuM. A joine meM bIjo pAso phekyo. meM kahyuM ke AnTIne evuM kahetA paNa sAMbhaLyuM che ke jo koI chokarI A bAbate AnTIne maLIne tenA mananI vAta karaze to AnTI zAMtipUrvaka, premathI tenI A vAtane sulajAvI deze. kAnokAna koIne khabara paNa nahIM paDe. AnTIne AvA anubhavo agAu thayA paNa che. ane chokarIne mAphI maLI paNa che. huM A bAbata jANuM chuM tethI badhAne A vAta karuM chuM, koinuM paNa bhaluM thAya evI mArI icchA che. A sAMbhaLIne hemA raDI paDI. te DarI gaI ke jo tapAsa karavAmAM Avaze to te dAgInAne kyAM saMtADaze? te ekalI zuM karI zakaze? AvI gabharAmaNa zarU thaI gaI. mArA upara tene vizvAsa Avyo ke huM chokarIonuM bhaluM icchIne tene madada karuM chuM. A khAtarI thatA tene badhI satya hakIkata mane jaNAvI dIdhI. - teNe ja jaNAvyuM ke lobha ane lAlacamAM phasAIne teNe A kAma karI lIdhuM che, paNa have tene Dara lAge che ke A corInA mAmalAmAM te phasAI jaze ane tenuM AkhuM "kerIyara' khatama thai jaze mATe have zuM karavuM? te mATe mArI salAha ane madada levA mATe teNe mane vinaMtI karI. meM tene zAMta pADI ane samajAvyuM ke tuM jarApaNa ciMtA nA kara. teM Aje svIkArI lIdhuM che te sArAmAM sAro upAya che. AnTI tane cokkasa mAphI ApIne 23 =

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= mArA anubhavo A takalIphamAMthI ugArI leze. AnI tuM khAtarI rAkhaje. hemA gaLagaLI thaIne kahevA lAgI ke hA maniSA, mane tArA upara saMpUrNa vizvAsa che ke tuM mane A upAdhimAMthI jarUra bahAra kADhIza. meM kahyuM ke hemA tuM hamaNAM ja AnTI pAse jA ane satya hakIkata temane jaNAvI de ane badhA dAgInA temane soMpI de. tAro problema hamaNAM ja solva thai jaze ane AnTI A viSe eka zabda paNa bIjAne kaheze nahIM ane premathI tane hUMpha Apaze. paraMtu hemA eTalI badhI gabharAI gaI hatI ke, AnTI, te tamone maLavA AvavA manane taiyAra nA karI zakI. teNe hiMmata gumAvI dIdhI hatI. teNe mane kahyuM ke, maniSA, huM badhA dAgInA hamaNAM ja tane ApI dauM chuM. huM AnTIne mArA vatI A ApI deje ane badhuM samajAvI deje. A dAgInA sahIslAmata temane suparata karaje ane AvatIkAle mAruM mana zAMta thaI jaze tyAre huM sAme cAlIne AnTIne maLI AvIza ane mAphI mAgI laIza. mane paNa thayuM ke hemAnI A IcchA che to mane kAMI vAMdho nathI ane dAgInA sahIsalAmata maLI jatA hatA to A takane paNa gumAvavI nA joIe. Ama, AnTI tamArA uparano bhAre bojo paNa utarI jato hato tethI meM dAgInA lai lIdhA ane sIdhI tamArA pAse AvI chuM. tamone A suparata karIne huM hemAnA rUmamAM jaIne tene A sArA samAcAra ApIza, jethI tene zAMti maLe ane rAtre nirAMte sUI zake. to A dazya joIne, dAgInAne sahIsalAmata joIne, A satya che ke sapanuM che te samajI ja nA zakI. mane lAgyuM ke maniSAnuM rUpa laIne sAkSAt lakSmIdevI mArA ghare padhAryA che ane sunItAnuM saubhAgya 24

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= mArA anubhavo tene pahoMcADavAnuM kAma mane soMpI rahyA che. A paLanI kiMmata mArA mATe amUlya hatI. mane A dazyamAM bhagavAnanA darzana thayA. AvuM kaThina kAma phakta pAMca divasamAM ja saraLatAthI saMpUrNapaNe saphaLa banI jAya te bhagavAnanI kRpA vagara kema banI zake? basa, have e samaya AvI gayo che ke jyAre sunItA ane tenI bahenapaNInA caherA upara AnaMdanI varSonA varasatA dhodha jovAno ! A paLane mANavA mATe huM jhaDapathI sunItAnA rUma tarapha upaDI. sunItAnA rUmamAM karuNA ane nirAzA chavAI gayA hatA. badhI bahenapaNIo tene AnaMdamAM lAvavA mathI rahI hatI. A vakhate huM pahoMcI gaI. mArA caherA para ja badhAnI najara hatI. meM AnaMdapUrvaka ghaMTanAda karyo ke badhA mane mIThuM moM karAvo ane badhAne mIThAI vaheMco. badhI chokarIo mane bheTI paDI. meM hAthamAM sunItAne devA mATe dAgInA taiyAra ja rAkhyA hatA. vAtAvAraNamAM vasaMta khIlI gaI, ane jhADa upara pAMdaDAo nRtya kare tema chokarIo nAcavA lAgI. A adbhuta dazya hajupaNa manamAMthI khasatuM nathI. vAraMvAra e kathana yAda Ave che ke ApaNA nasIbamAMthI koI tala mAtra paNa laI zakatuM nathI. ApaNA para duHkha Ave che tyAre mane zraddhA gumAve che. paNa je sAcuM che te sAcuM che ja! mATe game tevI vipattio Ave to paNa manane aDaga rAkhavuM e dharmano niyama che. A zraddhAnuM bIja ApaNe zAMtithI sahana karavAnI zakti Ape che. A paNa kevo camatkAra! je vastune zodhavA anahada prayAso karyA te cIja "mukarara thayelI paLamAM sAme cAlIne AvI. A eka satya hakIkata che. 25. 5 |

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= mArA anubhavo = = sunItAne A dAgInA kema maLyA? te viSe jANavAnI jijJAsA hatI paNa A saMjogomAM khAsa karIne hemA mATe mAre mauna rAkhavuM khUba ja jarUrI hatuM. tethI meM sunItAne samajAvI dIdhuM ke tuM hamaNAM AvA koI vicAra nA kara, phakta dAgInA maLyAno bharapUra AnaMda mANa. ghaNI ciMtAo pachI A AnaMdanI ghaDI AvI che. tethI huM tenI majA lUMTa. basa, have chellI vAta. je kahyA vagara A prasaMga adhUro raheze. A AkhA banAvamAM sacoTa ane aMtaranA zuddhabhAvathI je kAma thayuM che teno zreya manISAne phALe jAya che. tenA nAma pramANe (manISA) tenA mananI abhilASA pUrI thaI. tenA svabhAvanI saccAI ane niHsvArthabhAve hemAnA hRdayanuM parivartana karyuM. ane hemAe tarataja nirNaya laine manISA upara vizvAsa rAkhIne badhA dAgInA suparata karI dIdhAM. meM manISAne zAbAzI ApatA kahyuM ke manISA, te ApaNI hosTelane Aje gauravanuM ghareNuM paherAvyuM. tArIkha : 19-8-2013 lekhikAH urmilA esa. dhoLakiyA vorDana (gRhamAtA) sarojinI nAyaDu hola, leDIjha hosTela, ema.esa. yunivarsiTI, vaDodarA. *****

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mArA anubhavo anubhavAtmaka prasaMga-4 - urmilAbena surendrabhAI dhoLakiyA ema.esa. yunivarsiTI, vaDodarAnuM hosTela kempasa ghaNuM vizALa che. lagabhaga vIseka hosTela A kempasamAM che. dareka hosTelamAM 300 jeTalA vidyArthIo rahe che. tethI ghaNI vakhata phUDanI kvolITI ane phUDanuM "mesa bIlamAM problema thavAnI zakyatA rahe che. - thoDA samaya pahelA amadAvAdamAM A problema ne kAraNe vidyArthIoe yunivarsiTImAM haDatAla paDAvI hatI ane mAmalo gaMbhIra banI gayo hato. A phUDanI saMpUrNa javAbadArI vorDananI rahe che. " jyAre hosTelano cArja saMbhALyo tyAre A bAbate mane ciMtA hatI tethI meM tarata ja hosTelanI benonI je varkIMga kamiTI hatI tenI miTIMga bolAvI. A miTIMgamAM benone meM pahelo prazna e ja pUkyo ke, "tamo tamArI takalIpho jaNAvo, jenA upara ApaNe vistArathI carcA karIne tene dUra karavAno prayatna karIe." benoe tarata jaNAvyuM ke dara mahine je phUDanuM "gesa bIla" che te vadhatuM jAya che. AnuM kAraNa zuM che? meM kahyuM ke jarUra, ApaNe, A muddAne pahelo lezuM ane UMDANathI tapAsa karIne ukela lAvIzuM. tamane badhAne saMtoSa maLe tevo prayatna karazuM. bIje ja divase meM A problema' para kAma zarU karyu. phUDa ane "mesa bIla" vize je kAryakartAo hatA tene badhA phUDa vizenA hisAbanA copaDAo sAthe miTIMgamAM bolAvyA. miTIMganI zarUAtamAM ja meM badhAne kahyuM ke Aje A kAma mATe ApaNe pahelI vakhata maLIe chIe ane badhA = [ 27 | --

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= = = mArA anubhavo maLIne eka vacana jarUra laie ke A rasoDAnA kharcamAM eka pAI paNa veDaphAvI nA joIe ane prAmANikapaNe kAma karavuM paDaze. A bAbate eka nAno sarakho goTALo paNa calAvI levAmAM nahIM Ave. A bAbate tamArA bhUtakALamAM huM javA mAgatI nathI paNa have A kaDaka niyama pALavo ja paDaze. A bAbate ghaNA niyamo banAvyA ane thoDI sInIyara vidyArthinIone paNa javAbadArInuM kAma soMpyuM, jethI chokarIone paNa vizvAsa bese ke je kharca Ave che te barAbara che. A miTIMganI asara barAbara thaI. phUDa bIlamAM ghaTADo thavAnI zarUAta thaI gaI. phUDanA kAryanA je kAryakaro hatA temAMthI thoDAne A pheraphAro gamyA nahIM evuM mane lAgyuM. paNa chokarIone saMtoSa thayo tethI mane AnaMda thayo. dhIredhIre mesabIlamAM sArA pramANamAM ghaTADo noMdhAyo ane te paNa phUDanI kvolITInI uttamatA sAthe. hosTelanA kempasanI badhI hosTelo karatA amAruM phUDabIla dara mahine khUba ja ochuM AvavA lAgyuM. kempasamAM A viSe carcA paNa thavA lAgI. amArA hosTelanI "varkIMga kamiTI" mAM paNa A vAta rajU thaI. A miTIMgamAM dareka hosTelanA vorDano ane provAisa cAnselara je ceramena che tenI sAthe hosTelamAM sudhArA kema karavA vagere bAbate carcA karavA miTIMga bolAvAya che. A miTIMgamAM ceramena khAsa A phUDabIlanA ghaTADAnI vAta karIne abhinaMdana ApyA ane bIjA vorDanone paNa A rIta ajamAvavA bhalAmaNa karI. A saphaLatAe amane badhAne ghaNuM zIkhavyuM. 28 | 28

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= mArA annubhavo ApaNe koipaNa kAma navuM zarU karIe tenI asara to thavAnI ja, thoDI sArI, thoDI narasI (sArI nahIM) Ama banne rIte thAya te mATe taiyArI rAkhavI paDe. have A rasoDAnI kAmagIrImAM je pheraphAro thayA tenA pachInA vAtAvaraNamAM kevuM vAvAjhoDuM AvyuM teno citAra rajU karuM ' hosTelanI savAra eTale eka adbhuta dRzya ! savAramAM prabhAta ughaDatAM ja jema pakSIono kalarava zarU thai jAya che, tevI ja rIte hosTelanA savAranA vAtAvaraNamAM zorabakora zarU thaI jAya che. bAtharUma tarapha doDatI beno, moDA thai javAnI phariyAda karatI, kAmavALI benone sUcanA ApatI, brekaphAsTane nyAya ApatI, purajozamAM kAmo ATopatI hoya che. Ama, savArathI ja potAnI javAbadArInuM zikSaNa teo meLavI le che. A paNa eka hosTelanI dena che. AvA prabhAtiyA gAtI eka savAre mArA kAna upara thoDA bhedI avAjo saMbhaLAyA. paTAvALAbena chokarIone sUcanA ApatA hatA ke Aje jamavAnuM nahIM maLe. rasoDAmAM haDatALa che. mArA kAna UbhA thaI gayA. huM A zuM sAMbhaLuM chuM? mArA hukamathI je rasoDAno kArya-vyavahAra cAle che te ja rasoDAne tALAM ! ane jenI mane talamAtra paNa khabara nahIM! " meM rasoDA bhaNI doTa mUkI. rasoDAnuM dazya joine huM coMkI gaI, jyAM dALa-bhAta-zAka ukaLatA hoya tevA moTA cUlA ThaMDAgAra paDyA hatA. mukhya mahArAja ane mesamAM kAma karavAvALA sTAphanuM nAmanizAna nahotuM. tapAsa karatA khabara paDI ke mahArAjanI sUcanAthI dareka sTApha haDatALa upara utarI gayo che. mane navAI lAgI ke A kevI haDatALa ?

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mArA anubhavo nahIM koI mAMgaNI ke vATAghATa' nahIM koi sUcanA ane sIdhuM AvuM utAvaLiyuM pagaluM ! 300 chokarIono jamavAno savAla ! mane to e ciMtA thaI gaI ke Aje bAra vAgye je chokarIo jamIne kaoNleja jAya che tenuM zuM thaze? meM tarata phUDakamiTInI benone bolAvI ane A muzkelI te kevI rIte pAra karavI tenI carcA karI. amone evuM lAgyuM ke A haDatALanI pAchaLa koI amArI oNphisanA kAryaktanuM rAjakaraNa kAma karI rahyuM che. kAraNa ke navI suparavAIjharanI kamiTI nImAI pachI te lokonI pAchale bAraNethI AvatI kamANI kadAca baMdha thaI gaI hoya tethI sIdhA sAdA rasoDAnA sTAphane khoTA pATha paDhAvI ne teoe potAnA hathiyAra banAvyA hoya. ' mArI phUDa kamiTInI beno sAthe carcA thayA bAda amoe amAruM kAma zarU karyuM. amoe joyuM ke mahArAja ane bIjo sTApha rasoDAnI pAchaLanA medAnamAM bhUkhyo, cA pIdhA vagara zAMtithI beTho hato. meM mahArAjane mArI oNphisamAM bolAvyA, ane haDatALanuM kAraNa pUchyuM. mahArAje javAbamAM kahyuM ke bena, moMghavArI vadhI gaI che tethI amone pagAra ocho paDe che. pagAra vadhArI Apo to kAma para caDazuM. meM pUchyuM, "tamoe A mATe "mAMgaNI mUkI hatI?" teno javAba sIdho hato - "nA". "to pachI amone jaNAvyA vagara tamo kema haDatALa upara utarI gayA?" teone samajAvyuM ke navI kamiTI banyA bAda tamAro pagAra ane sagavaDa bannemAM vadhAro karyo hato ane tamoe paNa saMtoSa vyakta | 30 |

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= mArA anubhavyo karyo hato to Aje ociMtAnuM AvuM pagaluM amone jaNAvyA vagara kema bharyuM? mArA A praznano javAba teo ApI zakyA nahIM. tethI meM teone spaSTa kahyuM ke amArI kamiTInI miTIMga bolAvyA pachI ja pagAravadhArAnI samasyAno nikAla thaI zakaze. have amAre chokarIonuM jamavAnuM zuM karavuM? tethI meM nirNaya karI lIdho ke A bAbate "yuddhanA dhoraNe kAma karavuM paDaze. tethI hosTelanI badhI chokarIone mukhya holamAM ekatrita karavA ghaMTa vagADyo. chokarIo ghaMTanAda sAMbhaLatAM tarataja AvI gaI. meM chokarIone haDatAla vizenI badhI paristhiti samajAvI ane kahyuM ke koipaNa bAbatanI sUcanA ane mAgaNI vagara mahArAja ane Akho sTApha haDatAla para utarI gayo che. mane lAge che ke teo ApaNane DarAvavA mAge che. teo mAne che ke amArA vagara hosTelane cAlaze nahIM ane amArI mAgaNI svIkAravI ja paDaze. have ApaNe nirNaya levAno che ke A lokonI sAme ApaNe jhUkavuM che ke aDaga banIne laDavuM che? tamArA badhAno je mata hoya te mane jaNAvo. chokarIonA samUhe tarata jussApUrvaka javAba Apyo ke "nahIM jhUkege, nahIM jhukaMge meM kahyuM ke huM tamArI sAthe ja chuM. to cAlo ApaNe A nArAne sArthaka karavA hamaNAMthI ja kAmamAM jhUkI paDIe. " badhI chokarIoe tarata ja svayaM-pAka banAvavAnI yojanA taiyAra karI lIdhI. yojanA pramANe kAma karavA mATe grupa banAvI lIdhA ane kAmanI vaheMcaNI karI dIdhI. rasoDAnuM kAma, dALa-zAka-anAja kADhavA, loTabAMdhavo, roTalI vaNavA, zekavA vagere tamAma kAmamAM grupanI chokarIo = 31

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jarA anubhavo phaTAphaTa kAme lAgI gaI. cUlA peTAvavA vagerenuM kAma amArA kenTInanA mANasoe saMbhALI lIdhuM. Ama, dhamAdhama rasoDuM zarU thaI gayuM. AkhA rasoDAmAM saMgItamaya vAtAvaraNa chavAI gayuM. hAsyanI choLo cAre tarapha patharAI gaI. samUhamAM kAma karavAnI majhAno AnaMda anero hoya che. svataMtrapaNe saune potAnI kaLA batAvavAnI taka maLI hatI tethI badhA utsAhamAM jhUmatA hatA. A joIne lAgyuM hatuM ke kharo AnaMda meLo Aje jAmyo che. chokarIonI kAma karavAnI dhagaza joine mAro AnaMda samAto nahoto. kharekhara, khUbInI vAta to e che ke bAra vAgyA pahelA ja Tebala upara thALI, vATakA, camacI vigere goThavAI gayA ane jamavAnuM pIrasavA eka grupa taiyAra banI gayuM. chokarIoe mane jamavAnA hAjarIpatrakamAM kAma sopyuM hatuM. tethI badhI chokarIonI hAjarI pUravAnI mane khUba ja majhA AvI. barAbara bAra vAgye jamavAnuM zarU thaI gayuM ane rojanA samaye jamIne chokarIo kaoNleja paNa pahoMcI gaI. chokarIo mATe Ama hiMmatathI sAmano karavAno prathama anubhava hato ane AvuM kaThina kAma paNa teoe koipaNa takalIpha jaNAvyA vagara hoMzathI hasatA hasatA karyuM ane vijaya prApta karyo te hosTela mATe gaurava levA jevuM hatuM. have mukhya muddAnI vAta - bIjI tarapha mahArAja ane sTApha - je savArathI bhUkhyA, cA pIdhA vagara jhADanI nIce beThA hatA. teonuM magaja ThekANe AvI gayuM. bIjAnI caDhAmaNI kyAM sudhI Take? A havAne nIkaLatA vAra nathI lAgatI. temAM paNa sAdA ane bhoLA mANasane rAjakAraNa pacI zakatuM nathI enA purAvA rUpa mahArAja mArA pAse AvyA ane hAtha = | Bra | =

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= mArA anubhavo joDIne mAphI mAgI ke bena, amArA badhAnI bhUla thaI gaI che ane ame kAma upara caDavA taiyAra chIe. meM ane chokarIoe premathI AkhA sTAphane kahyuM ke amo tamAruM svAgata karIe chIe ane have Aje tamo badhA Tebala upara jamavA beso ane premathI amoe banAvelI rasoI ame pIrasazuM te tamo jamo to amone khUbaja AnaMda thaze. dararoja to tamo amone premathI jamADo cho. to Aje amone paNa AvI taka Apo. mahArAja ane Akho sTApha khUbaja zaramAI gayA ane kahevA lAgyA ke nA beno, maherabAnI karIne amone zaramAvazo nahIM - A premapUrvakanA zabdo bolIne badhA rasoDAmAM doDI gayA. Ama, sarojinIdevI hosTelanI aMdara je nAnuM hiMdustAna vase che tene Aje A daSTAMta rajU karIne puravAra karI dIdhuM ke badhA bheda-bhAva bhUlIne, khabhe khabhA milAvIne rAjakAraNane vacamAM lAvyA vagara sAthe maLIne kAma karazuM to vijayane varazuM. Ama, anyAya sAme jhUkavuM nahIM evo anubhava - pATha benoe A hosTelanI pAThazALAmAM zIkhI lIdho. - A prasaMge 300 kanyAonA hRdayamAM ekatAno jhaMDo ropI dIdho ane hosTelanI "jaya' bolAvI. tArIkha : 19-8-2013 lekhikAH urmilA esa. dhoLakiyA vorDana (gRhamAtA) sarojinI nAyaDu hola, leDIjha hosTela, ema.esa. yunivarsiTI, vaDodarA. ***** [ 33 ] 33

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mArA anubhavo anubhavAtmaka prasaMga-5 - urmilAbena surendrabhAI dhoLakiyA Aje jayAre paNa hosTelanI vidyArthinI prasannAne yAda karuM chuM, tyAre mana praphulla banI jAya che. tenAmAM nAma jevA guNa che. ghaNAM varSo pachI prasannAne yAda karI. prasannA eTale hasatuM khIlatuM puSpa ! tenI AMkhonI mastI joIe to ApaNuM duHkha bhUlI jaie, vAtoDI evI ke ApaNe samaya bhUlI jaie. hosTelamAM badhAnI sAthe evI bhaLI gaI ke jANe dUdhamAM sAkara! AvI prasannA mArA hosTelanI vidyArthinI hatI. A prasannA homasAyansanI TuDanTa hatI. bhaNavAmAM hoziyAra hatI. AvA madhura svabhAvanI prasannAne yAda karuM chuM tyAre tenA hosTelanA jIvanano eka prasaMga yAda AvI jAya che. kyAreka ociMtAnI muzkelI TapakI paDe che ane ciMtAno viSaya banI jAya che. Aje AvI thoDI kSaNone vAgoLuM chuM. prasannA hosTelamAM AvatAnI sAthe chavAI gaI. mane paNa tenA hasamukhA svabhAve AkarSI lIdhI. tenAmAM nAma tevA guNa hatA. eka divasa prasannAe mane jaNAvyuM, "AnTI, mArI sagAI thoDA samaya pahelA thaI, ane mArA "phIyAnsa' pI.eca.DI. nuM bhaNavA amerikA gayA che. teo bhaNavAmAM khUba hoziyAra che ane mane paNa bhaNavAmAM protsAhita kare che. temanI icchA che ke huM ahIMthI ema.esa.sI. nI DIgrI prApta karyuM, je amArA bannenuM sapanuM che. mArA sAsu-sasarA vaDodarAnI

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mArA anubhavo najIka ja rahe che ane temanuM A eka ja saMtAna che. mArA upara teone khUba ja prema che ane mane bhaNAvavA mATe teo khUba preraNA Ape che." huM A sAMbhaLI khuza thaI. AvuM saMskArI sAsaruM maLavuM te paNa nasIbanI dena che. AthI uttama bIjuM zuM hoI zake ? - thoDA samaya pachI prasannA potAnA sAsu-sasarAne laIne mAre ghare AvI hatI. teo paNa kahetA hatA ke prasannA jevI AnaMdI dIkarI amone maLI gaI tethI amo khUba ja khuza chIe. Ama, teo badhA potAnI pravRtti sAthe AnaMdamAM samaya vItAvI rahyA hatA. AvA zAMtithI sarakatA samayamAM eka saMkaTanuM evuM vAvAjhoDuM AvI gayuM ke jenI kalpanA paNa huM nA karI zakuM. A te koI azubha karmano udaya ja kahI zakAya. acAnaka AvI paDelA saMkaTanI najIvI bAbate evI ugra paristhiti pedA karI ke tene kema sulajhAvavI te eka koyaDo banI gayo; jenI vigato rajU karuM chuM. eka bapore mArA paTAvALAe AvIne mane kahyuM ke, "bena prasannAnA sAsu-sasarA tamone maLavA mAge che." meM teone mArA gharamAM bolAvyA. te lokonA caherA uparanI zokachAyA joI mane ciMtA thaI. ' thoDI sAmAnya vAto, kema cho? zuM cAle che? vagere dvArA paristhitane thoDI haLavI karI. te lokoe kahyuM, "amArA mATe thoDI muzkelI UbhI thaI che, tethI tamArA pAse doDI AvyA chIe. amone khAtarI che ke tamo jarUra A bAbatano upAya zodhI kADhazo. ame jANIe chIe ke tamone prasannA upara khUba prema che ane te paNa tamone mA samAna mAne che." me kahyuM, "tamArI vAta sAcI che, prasannA mArI dIkarI che.mane tenA upara khUbaja mAna che. tene kAMI paNa takalIpha thaI hoya to huM teno 3pa.

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= mArA anubhavo ukela lAvavA tanatoDa prayatna karIza. tamo jarApaNa ciMtA karatA nahIM. dareka samasyAno upAya hoya che." A sAMbhaLI teo zAMta banyA ane potAnA mananI vyathAnI kahAnI zarU karI. teoe mane jaNAvyuM ke thoDA samayathI prasannA tenI kaoNlejanA klAsamAM hAjarI nathI ApatI. AnuM kAraNa evuM banyuM ke prasannA ane tenA TIcara meDama vacce cAlu klAsamAM abhyAsanI koI bAbatamAM matabheda paDI gayo ane vAtavAtamAM A aNabanAve klAsamAM ja evuM ugra rUpa lIdhuM ke mAmalo gaMbhIra banI gayo. thoDI bolAcAlI thatAM meDama evA gusse thaI gayA ke klAsanI badhI chokarIo vacce prasannAnuM apamAna karIne klAsamAMthI tene "geTa AuTa nuM pharamAna saMbhaLAvI dIdhuM. meDamanA AvA apamAnabharyA vartAvane kAraNe tenA mana upara khUbaja AghAta lAgyo ane te klAsa choDIne rUma upara AvIne khUbaja raDI, ane manomana nakkI karI lIdhuM ke have kAlathI huM A meDamanA klAsamAM kyAreya paNa bhaNavA nahIM jauM, ane bhaNavAnuM baMdha karI daiza. prasannAnA svamAnane khUbaja Thesa lAgI hatI tethI thoDuM DIprezana AvI gayuM. te A AkhA banAvanI vigato teNe mArA dIkarAne vistArathI jaNAvI ane te A meDama pAse bhaNavA kaoNleja nathI javAnI evuM cokhkhuM jaNAvI dIdhuM. prasannAno patra vAMcIne mAro dIkaro khUba ja ciMtAmAM paDI gayo ane tene prasannAnuM mana zAMta pADe tevI samajavALo patra lakhyo paNa prasannA zAMta thaI zake evI sthitimAM nahotI. tenA mana upara AghAtanI asara ochI thaI nahotI. manamAM tarka-vitarkonA vicAroe tene "apaseTa' banAvI dIdhI hatI. AvA vicAronA vamaLamAM phasAIne 36

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mArA anubhavo teNe tenA phiyAnsane pharI patra lakhIne jaNAvyuM ke huM hamaNAM AgaLa bhaNavA nathI mAgatI. tethI tamAruM bhaNelI patnInuM huM sapanuM huM sAkAra nahIM karI zake evuM mane khUba ja duHkha che paNa Ano upAya che. tamAruM sapanuM jarUra pUruM thaze. huM mAnuM chuM ke A saMbaMdhathI ApaNe chUTA thaIne koI hoziyAra bhaNelI bIjI chokarI sAthe pharI tamo saMbaMdha navo bAMdhI zako cho. tamone jema yogya lAge tevuM svataMtrapaNe karazo to mane khuzI thaze. mArI AmAM pUrI saMmati che. - prasannAno A patra vAMcIne mAro dIkaro gabharAI gayo, te prasannAne hRdayapUrvaka cAhato hato. mAro dIkaro bahu ja samaju che ane A saMbaMdha AvA kAraNasara toDe e to tadana azakya che. e samaje che ke prasannA haju AghAtamAMthI bahAra nathI AvI tethI AvA vicAronA bhaMvaramAM muMjhAI rahI che ane AvA dardano eka ja IlAja che-samaya. thoDA samaya bAda jarUra tenuM mana zAMta ane sthira thaze. gusso utarI jaze ane gADI pATA upara caDhI jaze. tene pUrI khAtarI hatI ke prasannA, DAhI ane samaju che. te bIjAnuM duHkha joI zakatI nathI evI lAgaNIvALI che. * A bAbata para vicAra karIne mArA dIkarAe amone lakhyuM ke tamo jarApaNa ciMtA karatA nahIM. samaya Avye A vAdaLo khasI jaze, jenI mane pUrI khAtarI che. phakta tamo eka kAma tarata ja karajo. hosTelanA vorDana urmilAbenane maLajo ane A badhI vAto karajo. urmilAbena ane prasannA vacce sAro saMbaMdha che tethI jarUra sAruM pariNAma Avaze. A patra vAMcIne amo tarataja tamone maLavA AvyA chIe. amone AzA che ke tamArA sahakArathI A gUMca ukelAI jaze. 37

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= mArA anubhavo. huM A vAta sAMbhaLIne coMkI gaI. prasannA sAthe AvuM banI zake te mAnyAmAM nahotuM AvatuM. prasannAno svabhAva huM jANatI hatI tethI mane khUbaja navAI lAgI paNa jIvanamAM kyAreka AvI jAtanA banAvo banI jAya che te vAstavikatAne svIkAravI ja rahI. meM prasannAnA sAsu - sasarAne sAMtvanA ApI ane samajAvyuM ke tamo jarApaNa ciMtA karatA nahIM. prasannAnI meDama sAthe mAro sAro saMbaMdha che ane prasannA paNa samaju ane saMskArI che, tene mArA upara prema che. tethI mane khAtarI che ke A gUMcane ukelI zakAze. huM kAlathI ja A samasyAnI pAchaLa paDIne tene sulajhAvavAnuM kAma zarU karI daiza. te lokone AzvAsana ApyuM tethI zAMtithI teo vidAya thayA. prasannAnA mA-bApanI A vyathAnI kathA sAMbhaLIne mAruM mana khUba udAsa thaI gayuM. mArI najara samakSa prasannAno hasato cahero khasato nahoto. prasannA sAthe Avo banAva bane te mAnavA mAruM mana taiyAra thatuM nahotuM. ATaluM badhuM banI gayuM ane te koIne kahyA vagara manamAM muMjhAyA karatI hatI. mane paNa A vAta jaNAvI nahotI tethI mane thayuM ke prasannAe A vAtane gaMbhIratAthI lIdhI che. tethI mAre saMbhALIne te kAma karavuM paDaze. huM prasannAnA lekTara meDamane sArI rIte oLakhatI hatI ane te paNa mAruM mAna rAkhatI hatI, paraMtu meM tenA TuDanTa pratyenA vartAva viSe evuM sAMbhaLyuM hatuM ke tene gusso jaladI AvI jAya che. tethI amuka TuDanTa tene pasaMda karatA nathI. AvI vAto mArA kAne AvI hatI tethI prasannA ane meDama vacce kema samAdhAna karAvavuM te mArA mATe eka koyaDo hato. mane khAtarI hatI ke prayatna karavAthI "pojhITIva" pariNAma jarUra Ave 38

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= mArA anubhavo che ane A samasyAmAM to dhIrajathI prayatna karavA sivAya bIjo koI rasto ja nahoto. bIje divase meM prasannAnI khAsa bahenapaNIne mAre ghera bolAvI ane prasannAnI samasyA vize vigatavAra jaNAvavA kahyuM. A bahenapaNIe jaNAvyuM ke prasannAe kaoNleja javAnuM baMdha karI dIdhuM che ane rUmamAM sUnamUna banIne besI rahe che ane vicAro karyA kare che. Ama, hamaNAM tenI mAnasika sthiti DAmADoLa che. huM tene samajAvavA ghaNo prayatna karuM chuM ane tamArA pAse AvIne A vAtanuM samAdhAna kema thAya te mATe carcA karavAnuM samajAvuM chuM. paraMtu te taiyAra nathI thatI tene A vAtano phelAvo thAya te gamatuM nathI. hamaNAM to tenI eka ja jIda che ke A meDamanA klAsamAM huM have jaiza nahIM. A vAta jANyA pachI meM prasannAne mAre ghera bolAvI. te mane maLavA AvI paNa caherA upara udAsInatA chavAI hatI. thoDI ADIavaLI vAto pachI huM muddA para AvI. meM kolejamAM kema jatI nathI te savAlathI zarUAta karI. prasannAe paNa dila kholIne tenA meDama viSenA banAvanI vAta karI ane jaNAvyuM ke AnTI, huM A meDamanA klAsamAM nahIM jauM. meM tane zAMta pADavA prayatna karyo, jethI svAbhAvikapaNe te potAnA mananI vAta karI zake. mArI khAsa IcchA hatI ke te eka vAta samaje ke koipaNa paristhiti Ave teno sAmano karavo ja joIe. daravAjo baMdha karI devAne badale bIjA rastAo zodhavA joie ane A kAmamAM mAro tane saMpUrNa sahakAra che. evI khAtarI ApatA meM tene kahyuM ke tuM A bAbata upara vicAra karIne nirNaya le. koIpaNa jAtanuM dabANa tArA mana 39

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mArA anubhavo para nahIM letI. tAre utAvaLamAM AvIne bhaNavAnuM choDI devAnI jarUra nathI. mane evuM lAge che ke kAraNavagara A banAvano bhoga tuM banI rahI che, jenA pariNAme tArA kuTuMbIjanone takalIpha bhogavavI paDaze. huM joI zakI ke prasannAnuM mana zAMta thatuM hatuM ane pojhITIva vicAre caDavA mAMDI hatI. mArA manamAM paNa AzAnI kaLIo khIlavA mAMDI hatI. A joIne meM prasannAne kahyuM ke, A bAbatamAM eka pojhITIva poInTa paNa che, jenA upara mane khUba AzA che ane te e che ke tArA meDama sAthe mArA saMbaMdho sArA che. tene mArA mATe mAna paNa che. to ApaNe A saMbaMdhano sAro lAbha laI zakIe. A badhA saMbaMdho jotAM mane lAge che ke eka vakhata huM tArA meDamane maLIne A bAbatamAM tenuM zuM mAnavuM che te jANI lauM, to samasyAne ukelavAmAM saraLatA paDaze. jo tArI icchA hoya to A rasto laie. A vAtathI prasannAnuM mana halakuM thayuM ane caherA upara thoDI zAMti dekhAi, paraMtu haju paNa tenA manamAM apamAnano ghA khUMcato hato tethI teNe kahyuM ke AnTI, tamArI sAthe vAto karIne mane AnaMda thayo. mane lAge che ke tamArI vAta sAcI che, paraMtu huM A viSaya upara thoDA vicAra karavA mAguM chuM. tethI be divasa pachI huM jarUra tamone maLavA AvIza. huM paNa A bAbate utAvaLa karIne tenA para dabANa lAvavA nahotI mAgatI tethI amo banne A vAta para saMmata thayA, chUTA paDatI vakhate teNe mAro AbhAra mAnyo ane vidAya lIdhI. bIjA divase huM prasannAnA meDamane maLavA gai. tene mArA upara lAgaNI hatI. tethI teNe kahyuM ke urmilAbena, tamo mane maLavA AvyA 40

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mArA anubhavo tethI mane ghaNo AnaMda thayo. agAu paNa koI TuDanTanI AvI vAta hatI tyAre tene huM maLI hatI tethI Aje mArA maLavAnuM kAraNa te samajI gaI. meDamanA caherA uparathI mane evuM lAgyuM ke teno gusso paNa zAMta thaI gayo che, ane AvI vAtono phelAvo thAya te sAruM nahIM evuM tene lAgavA mAMDyuM che. AzAnI A lIlI jhIMDIne meM vadhAvI. meM meDamane kahyuM ke tame ane prasannA banne mArI dikarIo cho e mArA mATe gaurava levA jevuM che tethI banne dIkarIo vacce samAdhAnano pula baMdhAya tevI mArI icchA che. meDame paNa tarata javAba Apyo ke huM A jANuM chuM ane ApaNe jarUra A vAtano uzkela lAvIne ja choDazuM. A sAMbhaLI mArA manamAM AnaMda chavAI gayo. - have A koyaDo kema ukelavo tenI carcA zarU thaI. meDame kahyuM ke mane prasannAnI vartaNUMka upara jarApaNa duHkha nathI. huM jANuM chuM ke te samaju che ane bhaNavAmAM hoziyAra cheH paraMtu kyAreka ociMtAno koI prasaMga evo banI jAya che ke ApaNe dhAryuM na hoya tevuM banI jAya che. paraMtu hu kharekhara IcchuM chuM ke prasannA bhaNavAmAM khUba AgaLa vadhe. A mATe tame ane huM banne maLIne prasannAnuM bhaNavAnuM cAlu karAvI dezuM. have A kAma kevI rIte zarU karavuM tenA mATe meDame kahyuM ke eka rasto che, jenA dvArA ApaNuM kAma saphaLa thaze. A kAma mATe tamAre prasannAne eka vakhata mArA klAsamAM AvavA mATe samajAvavI paDaze. mane khabara che te thoDI DarI gai che paNa eka vakhata klAsamAM Avaze pachI huM mArI rIte tenuM premathI svAgata karIne badhu normala banAvI daiza. mane paNa lAgyuM ke A raste banne pakSa-guru ane ziSyanI gauravatA jaLavAya 41

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mArA anubhavo == che. tethI huM meDamanI A vAta sAthe saMmata thaI ane badhu sAruM thaI jaze evI AzA sAthe amo chUTA paDyA. - have mArA mATe sauthI moTo savAla e hato ke prasannA A rastAne svIkAraze ? tenuM "svamAna' AmAM bAdhA to nahIM nAkhe ne ! prasannAne A bAbata kevI rIte taiyAra karavI? A praznoe mArI eka rAtanI UMgha harI lIdhI. paNa bhagavAna uparanI "AsthA adbhuta che. kharI zAMti to e ja Ape che. bIje divase prasannA mane maLavA AvI. teno cahero joine mane thayuM ke tenuM mana zAMta thayuM che ane have te nirNaya laI zake evI sthitimAM che. teNe sAmethI kahyuM ke AnTI, mane tamArI vAta sAcI lAge che. mane bhaNavAmAM khUba rasa che ane mArA phIyAnsI paNa A ja icche che. meM tarata ja tenI vAtane vadhAvatA kahyuM ke basa, tyAre "karo kaMkunA cAlo je rasto sAco che tene ja pakaDIe. Ama tenI hoMzane vadhArIne huM tenA meDamane maLI hatI ane hakArAtmaka je vAta thaI hatI te vistArathI tene kahI. meM tene kahyuM ke mane eka vAtanI khuzI che ke tArA meDama zAMta banIne saMpUrNa sahakAra ApI rahyA che. tenI icchA che ke tuM bhaNavAmAM hoziyAra cho. tethI tuM khUba AgaLa vadha. teo icche che ke vahelI take tuM klAsamAM AvIne bhaNavAnuM zarU karI de ane klAsamAM tane AvakAra ApavA mATe teo rAha joI rahyA che, tethI tuM tArA klAsamAM jaIne daravAjAmAM praveza kara. tArA meDama tane premathI AvakAra ApI aMdara lai jaze.

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= mArA anubhavo A sAMbhaLIne prasannA thoDI taMga thaI gaI. tenA manamAM prazna uThyo ke mane daravAjA upara joine meDama pharI gusse thaI jaze to? pharI badhI chokarIo sAme mAruM apamAna karaze to mAruM keTaluM kharAba lAgaze. AvI zaMkAe tenA mana para kabajo laI lIdho. meM tene samajAvI ke A vAta tArA manamAMthI kADhI nAkha. tuM mArA para vizvAsa rAkha ke have AvuM kAMIpaNa nahIM bane paNa prasannA eTalI badhI DarI gaI hatI ke A vAta mAnavA taiyAra nahotI. prasannAno mUDa joine huM paNa DarI gaI. mane thayuM ke A saphaLatAnA zikharane jItavuM muzkela che. ane jo banne pArTI potAnI jIdane thoDI DhIla nahIM Ape to sudharato mAmalo pharI bagaDI jaze. AvI nAjuka sthitimAMthI kema rasto kADhavo, te moTI ciMtA banI gaI. . A tUTatA tArane joDavA huM mathI rahI hatI. chevaTe, meM prasannAne savAla pUchyo ke have AmAMthI rasto kema kADhavo? tArA manamAM koI upAya hoya to batAva. thoDo vicAra karIne prasannAe kahyuM ke AnTI, mane ekalA jatAM bahu Dara lAge che tethI tame sAthe cAlo to javAmAM mane vAMdho nathI. huM prasannAnA mananI sthiti samajatI hatI paNa mane evuM lAgyuM ke mArA javAthI mane joine meDamane mAnahAni jevuM lAgaze to? aNInA samaye mAmalo bagaDI jaze to? Ama baMnne pakSanuM mAna sAcavavuM muzkela hatuM, ane A takane paNa javA devI nahotI tethI meM vicAryuM ke huM prasannA sAthe jaiza, paraMtu tenI ghaNI pAchaLa rahIza, jethI koine zaka na Ave ke huM prasannAnI sAthe chuM. - mane saMpUrNa khAtarI hatI ke jevI prasannA daravAjAmAM dekhAze ke tarata ja meDama tene aMdara bolAvI leze ane huM khUba pAchaLa rahIne koI 43.

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= mArA anubhavo khUNAnI ADamAM UbhI rahI jaiza, jethI meDama mane joI zake nahI. Ama baMnne pakSanA milana vakhate huM pIksaramAM hoiza ja nahIM. A plAna meM banAvI lIdhA pachI prasannAne meM kahyuM "o.ke. prasannA huM tArA sAthe AvIza." mArA hakArano javAba sAMbhaLIne prasannA khuza khuza thaI gaI. manamAMthI Dara paNa nIkaLI gayo, ane hiMmata AvI gaI. '' Ama, ciMtAnuM samAdhAna thatAM amo banne upaDyA kaoNleja tarapha. huM pAchaLa hatI paNa meM joyuM ke prasannAnA pagamAM jora AvI gayuM hatuM. meDamane meM prasannAnA AvavAnA samAcAra jaNAvI dIdhA hatA. tethI teo paNa svAgata karavA taiyAra hatA. prasannA potAnA "orIjInala' svabhAvamAM AvI gaI hatI ane hoMzamAM, pAchaLa joyA vagara AgaLa vadhatI klAsanA daravAjA pAse pahoMcI gaI. jevI prasannA daravAjA pAse pahoMcI ke tarata ja meDama khurazI uparathI uThIne daravAjA upara ubhelI prasannAne "velakama kahIne bheTI paDyA. prasannA paNa khuza thaIne meDamane bheTI paDI. A dazyane dUrathI joine mArI AMkhamAM harakhanA AMsu AvI gayA. prasannAnuM khUba bhaNIne te potAnA phIyAnsanA svapna pUruM karavAnA koDane sajIvana thatAM joi, tenA sAsu-sasarAnA AnaMdathI malakAtA caherA mArI samakSa khaDA thaI gayA. bIje divase savAranA prasannA tenA sAsu-sasarA sAthe mArA gharamAM AvI. tenuM AnaMdathI hasatuM mukha joI tenA sAsu-sasarA mane abhinaMdana ApatAM bheTI paDyA. mIThAIno Dabbo mane ApatAM teoe AzIrvAdanA amIchAMTaNA mArA upara varasAvyA. prasannAnA mukhe upara bhaNavAnuM sapanuM jarUra pUruM thaze, evo dRDha nizcaya jhaLahaLato hato. 44

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mArA anubhavo Aje prasannAno A yAdagAra prasaMga yAda AvatA mArA manamAM thoDA prasaMgane anurUpa vicAro AvI gayA, je jaNAvyA vagara A prasaMga adhUro che evuM mane lAge che. "mana eTale asthira pAro.' kSaNamAtramAM te kyAMthI kyAM pahoMcI jAya che. AvA manane vaza karavuM agharuM che. AvuM mana jaladI utAvaLiyuM pagaluM bharI levA taiyAra thAya che. AvA aNInA samaye kyAMkathI jo "sAcI samajanuM" kiraNa dekhAya aneM dhIrajanI rAmabANa paDIkI hAthe caDI jAya to ghaNA anartho thatAM aTakI jAya che. Aje jhaDapathI doDatA yugamAM dhairya ane zAMti dvArA ghaNA azubha banAvothI bacI zakAya che. A prasaMga A vAtano purAvo che. 45

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= mArA anubhavo eka phUla khIle che gulazanamAM "gula khIlate haiM gulazana meM" phUlonA svabhAvamAM che khIlavuM ane phoramane phelAvavuM. A phUlonuM sauMdarya che. AvA parAga-puSpo jagatane suMdaratAthI bharI de che. A phUlo bhagavAnanuM sarjana che, to mAnavI paNa bhagavAnanuM sarjana che ane bhagavAne chUTe hAthe bannene bharapUra ApyuM che, ochuM-vatuM nahIM paNa sarakhuM, sarakhA bhAge ! to phUlo jevI maheka mAnavI paNa prasarAvI zake che. AtmAnuM amRta ThAlavI zake che ane najaranA premathI darekane vaza karI zake che. savAla mAro e che ke Aje duniyAmAMthI AvuM kudaratanuM najarANuM mAnavInA jagatamAMthI osaratuM kema jAya che? mAnavI kyAM thApa khAI gayo? mAnavInI kudarata sAthenI jugalabaMdhImAM kema gAbaDuM paDI gayuM? vahetI gaMgAnI "mAnavatA" nI nadIo kayA pradezamAM guMgaLAI gaI? premanA jharaNAMo tAla ane laya kyAM cUkI gayA? AvA prazno UThe che paNa samAdhAna nathI maLatuM. javAbo khoLavA mathuM chuM. AvA vicAronA vamaLamAM vahetAM, eka satya-kathA najare caDI gaI. A kathAnA pAtrone kudaratanI dena sAthe sarakhAvavAnuM mana thaI gayuM. manamAM uThatA savAla javAba kaMIka aMze A kathAnA pAtro ApI zakaze ema lAgavA mAMDyuM. kathAnI uMmara lagabhaga so varasa jeTalI kahI zakAya. kathAnA pAtro Aje sadehe nathI paNa teonA svabhAvanI mIThAza amara banI gaI che. Aje paNa A vAta sugaMdha prasarAvI rahI che. eka saMyukta 46

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mArA anubhavo kuTuMbano parivAra prema saMbaMdhonA tANAvANAmAM guMthAIne kevuM nehabharyuM sarjana kare che tenuM citra A kathAmAM prApta thAya che. saMsAramAM uThatA prazno, dharmasaMkaTo ane saMgharSomAM paNa samajanI keDI dvArA sAco rasto kema khoLI zakAya che tenuM rahasya A kathAnA pAtro samajAvI jAya che. AvuM satya meM anubhavyuM tethI lakhavAnI hiMmata karI beThI. - A kathAnA samayane ApaNe "jUno jamAno" kahI zakIe. A jamAnAnA mANasonuM jIvana sIdhuM sAduM hatuM. dhIrajabharI zAMti ane samajanA kAraNe samasyAonA ukela teo jaladI lAvI detA. saMyukta kuTuMbamAM gharanAM sabhyo ekabIjAnI hUMphamAM jIvatA hatA. vaheMcIne levA ane devAnI bhAvanA teomAM jIvaMta hatI. kuTuMba pratyenI pharaja, saMbaMdhonuM mAna jALavavuM AvI bAbato agrasthAne hatI. huM ane mAruM varcasvane badale "Ama ja jIvAya" evI samaja hatI, jene kAraNe bhoLapaNa TakI rahyuM hatuM. A bhAvathI raMgAyela jIvananI vAto vAgoLavI mane game che ane A muddAe ja A kathA lakhavAnI preraNA ApI che: karamacaMdabhAIno janma garIba parivAramAM thayo. temanA pitA mahenatuM ane prAmANika hatA, paraMtu bhaNelA na hovAthI pagAranI Avaka eTalI najIvI hatI ke parivAranA nava sabhyone be TaMka peTa pUratuM khAvAnA paNa sAMsA hatA. A asahya muzkelIno sAmano karavA mAtuzrI IndrAbAIe kamara kasI. teo zAMta, samaju ane suzIla hatA. koI pAse hAtha laMbAvI svAbhimAna gumAvavA karatAM potAnA paga upara ubhA rahI teno sAmano karavAnI temanAmAM hiMmata hatI. AjubAjunA lokonA gharanAM daLaNAM 47.

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= mArA anubhavo daLI gharanI jarUriyAtane pUrI karavA teoe kaThina parizrama karyo. teonI sUjhane kAraNe AvA kaparA samayamAM teoe pAMca dIkarIone kariyAvara sahita sAsare vaLAvI. be dIkarAone skUlamAM mUkI bhaNAvyA. A mATe teoe devuM karyuM ane mahine thoDI bacata karI devuM cukavatA gayA. karamacaMdabhAI ane temanA moTAbhAI DosAbhAIe mA-bApanI A kAramI garIbAInI thapATane UMDANapUrvaka anubhavI hatI. A asahya duHkhamAM rIbAtAM lAcAra mA-bApane loko kevI halakI dRSTithI jotAM te A banne dIkarAoe najaronajara nihALyuM hatuM. mA-bApanI sahanazIlatAe banne bhAIone jIvananA pATha zIkhavI dIdhA hatA. teoe nizcaya karyo ke jaladI kamAIne mA-bApane A sthitimAMthI ugArI levA. teonA jIvanamAM sukhanA sUrajanuM ajavALuM pAtharI devuM ane premathI sevA karI temanI dareka icchAne saMtoSathI bharI devI; ane banyuM paNa evuM ja! hRdayanA UMDANanI prArthanA bhagavAne sAMbhaLI. A bhAIone parizrama ane prAmANikatAnA guNo vArasAmAM ja maLyA hatA. A sAthe sonAmAM sugaMdha bhaLe ema lakSmIdevInI kRpA paNa teo para cotaraphathI varasI. divase-divase dhaMdhAmAM vRddhi thatI gaI ane gharamAM jAhojalAlI chavAI gaI. banne bhAIonI tIvra icchA hatI ke mAtA-pitAne samRddhinA zikhara upara besADavA. temanA pratyenuM RNa cukavavAnI utAvaLa teone hatI. tethI tarata ja moTara, baMgalo, nokara-cAkara, mahArAjanI phoja gharamAM UbhI karI dIdhI. sukhanI vacce eka ja duHkha bhAIone korI khAtuM hatuM ke 48 |

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mArA anubhavo pitA A sukha mANavA bhAgyazALI na banI zakyA. garIbAInI vacce teoe chello zvAsa lIdho hato. kudaratanI icchA pAse badhA lAcAra hatA. mAtuzrI IndrAbAInA nAnAmAM nAnI icchA pUrI karavA banne bhAIo tatpara rahetA ane mA nuM hasatuM mukha joI saMtoSano zvAsa letA. pahelAM putra DosAbhAInA lagnaprasaMge mAtuzrIe potAnI badhI IcchA pUrI karI ane dhAmadhUmathI lagna mANyA. DosAbhAInA parivAramAM saMtAnano janma thatAM dAdImAnA harakhano pAra na rahyo. kuTuMbavelo vadhato gayo. be pautra ane cAra pautrInA kilakilATa vacce dAdImA khovAI gayA. karamacaMdabhAI mATe paNa sArA saMskArI kuTuMbanI kanyA mAtuzrIe zodhI kADhI. dhAmadhUmathI zaraNAInA sUro sAthe lagna levAyA. AkhI jJAtine potAnA gharaAMgaNe jamADI mAtuzrIe potAnI icchA pUrI karI. banne bhAIonI vahuo zAMta ane samaju hatI. sAsu ane vahuo vacce mA-dIkarI jevo saMbaMdha hato. gharanA badhA bALako paNa kuTuMba ane vaDIlonI AmanyA jALavatA hatA. AvA eka moTA saMyukta parivAranA IndrAbAI mobhI banI gayA. basa, have IndrAbAInI eka ja tIvra icchA hatI ke karamacaMdabhAInA kuTuMbamAM pagalAno pADanAra jaladI Ave. A zubhaprasaMganI teo rAha jotA hatA. karamacaMdabhAI ane temanA vahu mANekabena paNa dAdImAnI hoMza jaladI pUrI thAya tevuM icchatA hatA. samaya AgaLa vadhato gayo. karamacaMdabhAInA lagnane cAreka varSa = | 49 | = 49

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mArA anubhavo thayA paNa jenI rAha jovAtI hatI te paLanA koI cihna dekhAtA nahotA. tethI koI spezIyala DokTaranI salAha levAnuM nakkI karyuM. DokTare karamacaMdabhAI ane mANekabenanI zArIrika tapAsa karI. chevaTe DokTaranA rIporTa parathI jANavA maLyuM ke mANekabenanA zarIramAM koI kSati hovAnA kAraNe teo A janma mAtRtva pAmI zake ema nathI. A samAcArathI parivAranA badhA sabhyone khUba ja AghAta lAgyo. mANekabena pratye badhAne bahuja prema hato, temanA svabhAvanI mIThAze badhAnA mana harI lIdhA hatA. izvaranI dayA A kuTuMba para pUrI hatI paNa eka zera mATInI khoTa rahI gaI. mANekabenane paNa bALako khUba ja vahAlA hatA ane "khoLAno khUMdanAra" temanuM svapna hatuM paNa kudaratanI icchA pAse zuM cAle? badhAe A taraphathI mana vALI lIdhuM. A paristhitine svIkAravA sivAya koI upAya nahoto. AvA kaparA samaye A "dharmasaMkaTa' ne TALavA mANekabAe pahela karI. teoe sAsu tathA pati pAse mananI vAta mUkI ke bALaka vinAnuM sUnuM ghara pharIthI kilakilATamaya thaI zake che. to zA mATe AvI khuzAlI gharamAM nA lAvavI? teo mAnatA hatA ke bALako to IzvaranI dena che to AvA saMtAnothI ghara ne zA mATe vaMcita rAkhavuM? temanI icchA hatI ke A gharamAM bALako Avaze to teo paNa mAtRtvanuM sukha pAmI zakaze. teone vizvAsa hato ke A ghare haraeka prasaMge gharanA sabhyonuM mAna nyAyapUrvaka jaLavAze. teono A vizvAsa dilanI amIrAinuM UMDANa batAve che. . pa0

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= mArA anubhavo AvA umadA ane zraddhALu bhAvathI teoe pati ane sAsu pAse potAnA mananI vAta mUkI ke gharamAM pagalA pADanAranAM pagalAM paDe te mATe patie bIjA lagnano svIkAra karavo joie. AvI agharI vAta Ama rAjIkhuzIthI svIkArI le te dila keTaluM saraLa ane samabhAvI haze ! karamacaMdabhAI A vAta sAMbhaLI gaLagaLA thaI gayA. temanuM hRdaya A vAtane svIkRti ApavA taiyAra nahotu. karamacaMdabhAInI ciMtA e hatI ke A lagnane kAraNe mANekabenanA bhaviSyanA sukha, zAMtine hAni pahoMcI zake che. mANekabenanA sukhanA bhoge koipaNa bAMdhachoDa karavA teo taiyAra nahotA, ane A vAtane mAnavA mANekabena taiyAra nahotA tethI mANekabene sAsuno sAtha laine vAta AgaLa vadhArI. chevaTe karamacaMdabhAIne svIkRti ApavI paDI. gharanuM vAtAvaraNa zAMtimaya rahe, koIne paNa mAnahAni ke anyAya nA thAya tenI javAbadArI dAdImAe potAnA zire lIdhI. Ama, A dharmasaMkaTano prazna ukelAI gayo. - IndrAbAInI cakora AMkha ane anubhave khAnadAna kuTuMbanI sArI suzIla kanyA zodhI kADhI. sAdAIpUrvaka karamacaMdabhAInA bIjA lagna levAI gayA. mANekabene navI vahu gulAbabenane zubhecchA ApIne gharamAM svAgata karyuM. karamacaMdabhAinI paNa javAbadArI khUba vadhI gaI. teoe gharanuM ane kuTuMbanA dareka sabhyanuM khAnapAna sArI rIte sacavAya tenI takedArI rAkhavAmAM dhyAna ApyuM. gharamAM AvatI dareka vastu banne vahu mATe ekasarakhI AvatI hoI UMcanIca ke mArA-tArAno prazna koinA manamAM upasthita thato nahIM. sahu potapotAnI marajIpUrvaka rahI zakatA. gharamAM mahArAja, 51

Page #63
mArA anubhavo nokara-cAkara vagere hotA kAmano bojo khAsa nahoto. saMyukta kuTuMbanI sukha-prasAdI sahu bhogavatA hatA. mananI udAratAM ane saujanyatA jIvanane sukhada banAvavA keTalA jarUrI che tenI jhalaka ahIM maLI zake che. karamacaMdabhAinA saMtAnone ramADavAnI icchA paNa bhagavAne pUrI karI. IndrAbAI vRddhAvasthAnA uMbare AvI pahoMcyA. potAnA pautra ane pautrInuM mukha jovAnI temanI icchA bhagavAne pUrI karI. banne dIkarAo mAno A uchALA mArato umaLako joine khUbaja harakhAtA hatA. mA e asahya duHkhamAM saMtAnone kema ucheryA hatA tenI vAto banne dIkarAo potAnA saMtAno pAse karatA. teo mAnatA ke AvI jAta anubhavanI vAto saMtAnone jIvanamAM sAthe mArge doraze. IndrAbAIne dIkarAo tathA vahuo taraphathI bharapUra prema maLyo. AvI suMdara lIlIchama kuTuMba vADIne bhogavatAM teoe chello zvAsa lIdho. dIkarAo tathA kuTuMbIjano mATe A viyoga asahya hato. mA nA darzana dvArA ja teono divasa ugato ane Athamato. mA nI vidAyathI teonA jIvanamAM sUnakAra vyApI gayo. banne dIkarAe nakkI karyuM ke koI sArA ane umadA kAryo dvArA mAtA-pitAnI yAdane sadA mATe amara banAvI devI. A kAryo karavA mATe teoe sArI evI rakama rokI eka TrasTa UbhuM karyuM. A TrasTa dvArA ghaNA kAryo loko mATe karyA. dareka kAryamAM teoe tana, mana ane dhana lagAvI dIdhA. A kAryonI javalaMta jyota Aje paNa teonA zaheranA pAdare prakAza phelAvI rahI che, ane A prakAza dvArA samAjanA lokomAM strI keLavaNI ane jJAna-vijJAna prApta = | para ] = para.

Page #64
mArA anubhava thAya te mATe teoe potAnA mAtuzrInA nAmanI kanyAo mATenI IndrAbAI garlsa skula zarU karI, jemAM Aja sudhImAM agaNita kanyAoe zikSaNa lIdhuM che. pahelA dhoraNathI s.S.C. (meTrIka) sudhInuM zikSaNa ApatI A skula Aje badhA apa Tu DeTa sAdhanothI paripUrNa che, jevAM ke TenIsa korTa, bhavya lAyabrerI, sTeja vagere A skulamAM saMpUrNapaNe maphata zikSaNa apAya che. AkhA kaccha jillAmAM kanyAo mATenI A prathama skula che. A skulanI sAme ja eka suMdara bhavya ImArata zobhI rahI che. A che, pitAnA nAmane amara karatI eka suMdara dharmazALA. A vizALa dharmazALA cAre taraphathI khullA vAtAvaraNamAM dareka vaTemArganuM premathI sanmAna karI, Azraya Ape che. ahIM koIpaNa jJAtinA loko rahI zake che. dareka vaTemArga "rana baserA kare che ane zaheranA loko thoDA divasa havAphera mATe rahevA Ave che. lagabhaga 80 varSa pahelAM baMdhAyelI A dharmazALA Aje paNa vyavasthA ane svacchatAthI susajja che. A zaheranI aMdara mAtuzrIne zraddhAMjalI arpatI eka sIvaNazALA cAle che, jemAM Aja sudhI mAM hajAro kanyAo sIvaNakAma zIkhI potAnA paga upara UbhI rahI che. A badhI saMsthAo Aje paNa eTalA sArA vahIvaTa heThaLa cAle che ke loko hoMze hoMze A saMsthAno lAbha le che. banne baMdhuonI umadA bhAvanA ane sakhata parizrama A saMsthA sAthe saMkaLAyelA che. ane tenA phaLa rUpe Aja sudhI koI rAjanIti ke khaTapaTa vagara badhI saMsthAo pragati karI rahI che. = | pa3 |

Page #65
mArA anubhavo mAta-pitAnA AzIrvAdathI karamacaMdabhAinA gRhasaMsAranI vADI khIlatI gaI. teonuM ghara agIyAra saMtAno thI bharAI gayuM. badhA saMtAnoe janmatAveMta baMnne mAtAono "samAna prema' anubhavyo. gulAbabena bALaucheramAM khUba vyasta rahetA tyAre mANekabenane bALakonI sAthe rahevAno ane teno uchera karavAno samaya sArI peThe maLato. vahelI savAranA teo bALakone "jAga mujha vAlA bALa" nI kavitA gAine uThADatAM. rAtanA bALavArtAnA rasamAM DUbADI suvarAvI detAM. bALako AvA saMskAra ane sneha vacce moTA thaI rahyA hatA. banne bhAiono bahoLo parivAra sAthe ja raheto hato. moTAbhAInA sAta saMtAno ane karamacaMdabhAInA agIyAra ! Ama, bALakonI phojanuM gharamAM rAja hatuM. rAtanA vaDIlo ane bALako bhegA thaine khUba moja mastI mANatAM. ekabIjAnI mazkarI karavAmAM ane cIDavavAmAM teone khUba AnaMda Avato. temAM paNa vadhu AnaMda bALakone mANekabAne cIDavavAmAM Avato. karamacaMdabhAIno moTo dIkarA prANajIvana ThAvakAithI mANekabAne pUchato, "moTI mAM pADozamAM rahetA menAbena kevA sArA che. tamAruM keTaluM badhuM mAna rAkhe che, toye tamone kema temanI sAthe phAvatuM nathI." hAjarajavAbI mANekabA paNa kAMI ochA utare evA nahotA. prANajIvanane lahekAthI javAba ApatA teo kahetA ke "bahu DAhyo thA mA, menAbena keTalAM pANImAM che e mane khabara che, potAne bahu samaje che, paNa tenAmAM hIMganoya sAra nathI." pa4

Page #66
mArA anubhavo AvI nirdoSa mIThI mazkarIo badhAnI vinodavRttine sateja karatI, jemAM nAnA moTAno bheda bhUlAi jato. AvI mahephila pUrI thavAnAM TANe mANekabA haMmezAM eka nAnI paNa adbhuta vAta kahetA ke, "have basa,AvI, badhI nakAmI vAtone mAcIzanI peTImAM pUrI do." Ama, vAtavAtamAM AvI vAtonuM mUlya kAMi nathI ema samajAvI detA. AvA mukta vAtAvaraNathI bharelI A majhAnI vidyApITha hatI. ghaNI vakhata mANekabA ane gulAbabena vacce nAnI nAnI bAbate te cakamaka jharI jatI. mAnavanuM mana sadA eka sarakhuM nathI rahetuM, temAM utAra-caDhAva AvyAM kare che. vAsaNo bhegAM thAya eTale khakhaDe, e pramANe ahIMyA paNa thoDA samaya mATe koivakhata yuddhanA moracA khaDA thai jatA, te vakhate bALakone A vAtamAM khUba rasa paDato ane teo majAkamAM potAnI rIte banne pakSane uzkeravA-AgamAM ghI ne homavAnuM kAma karatA. A nAnakaDA yuddhanI khAsa vizeSatA e hatI ke A prasaMgamAM banne vahuo thoDIvAra mATe manano ubharo ThAlavI letAM paNa pAchA tarata haLavA banIne haLImaLIne svastha thai jatAM. banne vahuonA svabhAvamAM kaDavAzanuM nAmanizAna na hotuM tethI tarata ja pAchA hasIne vAto karavAmAM parovAi jatA. chevaTe AvI ghaTanA upara pUrNavirAma mUkatAM gulAbabena hasIne kahetA ke "bhUla to thai jAya, badhAthI bhUla thAya, paNa tethI kAMi bhUlanI gAMThane bAMdhI thoDI rakhAya ? e to emaja hoya, Ama ja badhuM cAle." AvI vAto rUDA svabhAvavALA lokonA manamAM ja AvI zake ! AvA svabhAvanI amIrAi jotAM eka prasaMga yAda AvI jAya 55

Page #67
mArA anubhavo che. eka divasa gulAbacaMda je gulAbabenanuM pAMcamuM saMtAna hatuM tenA kAnamAM duHkhAvo zarU thayo. gulAbabene jevA telanA TIMpA kAnamAM nAkhyA ke gulAbacaMde jorathI cIsa pADI. A cIsa sAMbhaLI ne mANekabA doDI AvyA. teoe joyuM ke tela garama hovAnAM kAraNe gulAbacaMde cIsa pADI che. eTale temanA gussAno pAro ekadama caDhI gayo. gulAbacaMdane jhaTa potAnA kAMkhamAM laI lIdho ane gulAbabenane garamAgarama saMbhaLAvatAM bolyAM ke kAMI bhAna che ke nahIM? dIkarAne bahero banAvI devo che? gulAbabenanI AMkho bharAI AvI paNa teo eka zabda paNa sAmo bolyA nahIM. teoe mAnI lIdhuM ke bhUla to mArI ja che. tethI mauna rahyA. AvI svIkRti dvArA mana upara saMyama rAkhavo e bahu agharuM che. paNa banne vahuonA manamAM dhyeya eka ja hatuM - saMtAnanuM sukha - A bhAvanAe bannenA manamAM samabhAvanI lAgaNI utpanna karI hatI. tethI bIjI vAto gauNa banI jatI. sahanazIlatAnI A kaThina kasoTI hatI. A prasaMge mane mArI samasyAonuM nirAkaraNa karavAmAM preraNA ApI che. mane samajAya che ke kudarata sAthe nikaTatA keLavatAM "sAcA rastAnI sUjha dhIre dhIre maLatI jAya che. manamAM satata evo bhAsa thAya che ke kudaratI guNone jIvanamAM vaNI levA sivAya bIjo koI upAya nathI. bIjAnA guNadoSa jovAne badale pote sudharI javuM, e prathama pharaja che. have chellI vAta ! kahevata che ke "jevuM jIvana tevuM maraNa' A vAta keTalI badhI satya che. teno sAkSAt purAvo mANekabAnA mRtyu prasaMge jovA maLyo.

Page #68
mArA anubhavo eka divasa vahelI savAranAM mANekabA uThyAM, bhagavAnanA maMdire javA mATe cokhA, badAma vigerenI prasAdI maMdiramAM dharAvavA mATe taiyAra karI eka thelImAM mUkI, ane eka kalAka mATe bhagavAnanuM dhyAna karavA sAmAyikamAM beThA. A sAmAyika jaina dharmamAM eka dhyAnanI vidhi che; jemAM besatI vakhate eka kalAka, eka muninI mAphaka, saMsArathI mukta rahevA mATenA khAsa paracakhANa levAmAM Ave che. matalaba ke A samaye te sAdhunI jema jaLakamaLavat banI jAya che. mANekabena haju sAmAyikanA dhyAnamAM hatA tyAM ja te Asana upara acAnaka bebhAna banI gayA. kuTuMbIjano badhA gabharAi gayA ane temane pANI pIvaDAvavAnI koziza karI tyAre bebhAna avasthAmAM acAnaka jAgRta thaine phakta eTaluM bolyAM ke "meM paracakhANa (pratijJA) lIdhA che. tethI mane pANI pAzo nahIM.' A e ja samaya hato ke jyAre mANekabAno AtmA bhagavAna mATenI prasAdI taiyAra karIne paracakhANanI sAthe, muni avasthAmAM bhagavAna pAse jai rahyo hato! ane e ja samaye DrAivara gerejamAMthI mANekabAne maMdire pahoMcAvaDavA mATe kAra kADhI rahyo hato. aMtima kSaNanuM AvuM prabhumilana adbhuta hatuM. - urmilA dhoLakiyA. - 57

Page #69
= mArA anubhavo satya ghaTanA para AdhArita jIvana - triaMkI nATaka . [noMdha : A satya hakIkata che. A triaMkImAM AvatA bena mahArASTrIyana che ane hAla muMbaImAM rahe che. potAne moDhe teoe A vitaka-kathA mane kahI che. A dardanAka vAta sAMbhaLIne mArAthI lakhyA vagara nA rahI zakAyuM. to have sAMbhaLo mArA zabdomAM mahArASTrIyana benanI karuNa kathAnI sAcI kahAnI.] jIvanamAM vasaMta che to pAnakhara paNa che. sukha duHkhanA raMgaberaMgI raMgonI A mizritadhArA che, je vahetI jAya che. AvI dhArAmAM vahetI huM, Aje vahI gayelA pANInI ArapAra joI rahI chuM. vartamAnanA takhtA uparathI bhUtakALano paDado khaseDuM chuM. - prathama aMka : bALapaNanAM dazyonI hAramALA zarU thAya che. bALapaNa jIvananI eka sukhada dazA che. nA koI ciMtA ke upAdhi - phakta kUdAkUda ane saMtAkUkaDI ramatuM mana, jANe phikara vagaranI phakIrI ! - AvuM amUlya bALapaNa mArA jIvanamAM AvyuM. paraMtu huM kamanasIbe bALaka nA banI zakI. mArA bhAge AvyuM javAbadArIbharyuM bALapaNa, amAruM madhyamavarganuM kuTuMba, nAnuM ghara bALakothI ubharAtuM. huM sauthI moTI ane "dIkarI" eTale nAnA bhAMDaraDAone sAcavavA, mAne gharakAmamAM madada karAvavI - AvI javAbadArIono Topalo mane-kamane paNa huM jAte ja oDhI letI. "dIkarIo DAhI hoya che' - A kahevatane huM jANe sArthaka karatI. kyAreka zerInA chokarAone saMtAkUkaDI ke pAMcIkA ramatAM huM jotI tyAre haDI kADhIne ramavA doDI jauM, varasAdamAM bhIMjAuM, 58

Page #70
mArA anubhavo jhAle parathI hanumAna jevA kUdakAo mAruM - AvI icchAothI mana ubharAi jatuM, paraMtu pagamAM moTIbenanI javAbadArInI beDI maujUda hatI. AvI paristhitimAM paNa nizALano samaya mAre mana amUlya hato kAraNake A samaya mAro potAno hato. benapaNIo sAthe khullA mane vAto karI huM haLavAza anubhavatI, bALapaNanI mIThAza anubhavatI. AvuM bALapaNa mArI ajANamAM jhaTapaTa vItI gayuM ane mugdhAvasthA AvI pahoMcI. tanamanamAM taraMgo ubharAvA lAgyA. AMkhonI duniyA badalAvA lAgI. strI-purUSa vacceno bheda parakhAvA mAMDyo. mananI AMkho chAnuMchAnuM jovA prayatna karatI. je amastu lAgatuM hatuM te have managamatuM lAgavA mAMDyuM. yauvananI vasaMta potAnA vAyarAmAM lapeTI rahI hatI. AvI mugdha avasthAmAM huM praveza pAmI cUkI hatI. paraMtu mA-bApane mArI A uMmaramAM ubhI thatI samasyAone samajavAnI kyAM darakAra hatI ? teonI AnI samaja paNa nahotI. teonuM A ajJAna vArasAgata hatuM. A bAbatanuM jAtIyatAnuM zikSaNa teo paNa pAmyA nahotA. du:kha to e vAtanuM che ke AvI vArasAgata ajJAnatA haju Aje paNa cAlu ja che. zikSaNanI duniyAmAM A viSaya mahattvano nathI banI zakyo. Aje huM mArA nijI anubhavathI kahI zakuM chuM ke A viSaya vagaranuM jJAna ekaDA vagaranAM mIMDA jevuM che. A viSa-cakranA khapparamAM Aje keTalIye kuMvArI kanyAo raheMsAi rahI che. mArA manamAM paNa A uMmare aneka prazno thatAM. paraMtu aphasosa ke huM kyAMyathI sAco uttara meLavI zakatI nahIM. nizALamAM benapaNIo bhegI thaine cUpacApa A saMbaMdhI vAto karatI ane ekabIjAne potAnuM "ajJAna" pIrasatI. kevI bhayajanaka dazA ! ChS

Page #71
= mArA anubhavo huM Akho divasa bhAMDaraDAone ramADatI, ucheratI paNa A kevI rIte pedA thayA te viSe vicAra karavAnI paNa hiMmata nahotI. mane e ja prazna satAvI rahyo che ke AvI mUMge moDhe bhoLapaNamAM ucharatI A ajJAna bAlikAone koNa zIkhavaze tamArI cAre tarapha bhUkhyAM varU jevA je saMyogo tamone lalacAvI rahyA che. te hakIkatamAM zuM che? tenA kevA bhayaMkara pariNAmo che? AnI sAcI samaja AvI kUmaLI kanyAone koNa Apaze ? AvI aNasamaju kanyAo khIlatAM pahelAM ja karamAI jAya che. AvI hAlatamAM samAjamAM tenI kevI durdazA thAya che ! ajJAnatApUrvaka teo sagarbhA banI jAya che athavA koIpaNa rogano zikAra banI jAya che. Avo atizaya kaDavo anubhava huM pAmI cUkI chuM. AvI hAlatamAM mA-bApa paNa hAtha jhAlavA majabUra banI jAya che ane chevaTe kUvA vagereno Azaro levo paDe che. AvI aMtaranI vyathA meM anubhavI nATakano dvitIya aMka zarU... mane aDhAramuM varasa cAlatuM hatu. yauvananI mAdaka Rtu khIlI rahI hatI. manamAM premapaMkhIDA pAMkha phaphaDAvatA hatA. ajANapaNe huM kyAMka kheMcAtI jatI hatI. mArI najaramAM eka sohAmaNo yuvAna vasI gayo hato. ekamekanI najare haiyA sudhInI saphara pUrI karI nAkhI hatI. uMmarano takAdo paNa sAtha purAvato hato. mAro managamato yuvAna svabhAve snehALa hato. mArAthI cAreka varSa moTo hato. eTale duniyAdArInI khAsa samaja nahotI. amo khAnagImAM maLatAM, vizvAsa meLavatAM ane sneha nItarato saMsAra mAMDazuM AvA svapnomAM rAcatAM.

Page #72
mArA anubhavo vAta AgaLa vadhatI gaI. manomana lagna-gAMThathI baMdhAyA ane AvA pAyA vinAnA ghara upara saMsArarUpI caNatara paNa zarU karI dIdhuM. mAbApa ane samAjanA sainikothI bacIne khAnagImAM maLavuM adharuM hatuM. paNa premIone koI pahoMcI zakyuM che? amo amArAmAM magna thaIne bahAranI duniyA bhUlI gayA. vakhate vega pakaDyo ane samaya potAnuM kAma karato gayo. chevaTe samaye ja satya pradarzita karyuM. amArA premanI nizAnIo dhIre dhIre mArA deha upara pAMgaratI gaI. mA nI najara sAbadI banI gaI. mArI dareka hilacAla upara mA e najarano pahero besADI dIdho. mArI karuNatA e hatI ke huM pote ja mArI A paristhitithI ajANa hatI. A jJAnapothIno "ka" paNa huM jANatI nahotI. mAnI praznobharI AMkhathI huM gabharAI jatI. huM have mAnI vAto samajavA lAgI hatI. paraMtu mane kalpanA paNa nahotI ke amAro gupta prema Ama ATalo jaldI chato thaI jaze. A pariNAme mane kaMpAvI dIdhI. pahelI vakhata mane vAstavikatAnuM darzana thayuM. mA e have lagAmano saMpUrNa dora hAthamAM laI lIdho. mane vizvAsamAM laIne rajeraja hakIkata jANI lIdhI. mA e jhINavaTathI mArA premI yuvAnanA kuTuMbanI tapAsa zarU karI. A tapAsamAM aMte tene khAtarI thaI gaI ke A talamAM tela nathI. amAruM lagna zakya nathI. kAraNa sApha hatuM. chokarAne koI ja DAgha lAgyo na hato. te loko zrImaMta hatA ane kuLa uMcuM hatuM. tyAM amArA jevAno bhAva koNa pUche? ane mArA ja gamAra abudha manane kyAM khabara hatI ke AvA kAcI vayanA, mA-bApanA pAlatu chokarAo pote ja keTalAM asahAya hoya che. jenAmAM pAI kamAvAnI paNa tevaDa nathI tenA vacanono zuM bharoso? mArA A jJAnacakSu ughaDyA paNa tyAre to bahu ja moDuM thaI gayuM

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= mArA anubhavo hatuM. have mA e nakkI karI lIdhuM ke jo AvI dazAmAM samaya gumAvazuM to loko ane samAja mArI dIkarIno saMsAra ujADI nAkhaze. A paristhitimAMthI sAMgopAMga pAra utaravA mAM e lAMbo vicAra karI lIdho. mAnI anubhavI buddhie rasto zodhI kADhyo. AjubAjunA pADozIo ane sagAvhAlAomAM kAMI bahAnuM kADhI mA mane punA pAsenA nAnA gAmaDAmAM ajANyA sthaLe laI gaI. samayasara mArI prathama dIkarIno janma thayo. AnA pachInA tabakkAnuM mA e plAniMga karI rAkhyuM hatuM. eka anAthAzramamAM mA e badhI vyavasthA karI lIdhI hatI, te pramANe anAthAzramanA saMcAlakane bALakanI soMpaNI karI amo hemakhema pAchA muMbaI AvI gayA. lokomAM thoDI gusapusa thaI, paNa mAmalo thALe paDI gayo. loko pharI bIjA kissAnI paMcAtamAM bIjhI" thaI gayA. mA ne have mArA jaladI lagna levaDAvavAnA goThavaNanI ciMtA peThI. A gamakhvAra banAve mArI kiMmata koDInI karI nAkhI hatI. have jevo paNa muratiyo maLe tenA upara kaLaza DhoLavo. Ama, pasaMdagInI bAbatamAM mA e DhIla ApI dIdhI hatI. mArA mananI vAta ke sthiti jANavAnI koi jarUrata jaNAI nahotI. samAje banAvela kAyadAonI beDImAM huM keda hatI. saMjogoe mane "jIvatI lAza" jevI banAvI dIdhI hatI. huM samajI nahotI zakatI ke mArA kayA gunAnI AvI asahya sajA huM bhogavI rahI chuM! zA mATe mArI icchA jaNAvavAno haka gumAvI rahI chuM? gharanI cAra dIvAla vacce huM muMjhAyA karatI. Akhare mA e jhaDapathI mArA lagna levAI jAya tevo muratiyo zodhI kADhyo. vara-kanyA nakkI thaI gayA ane lagnanuM muhUrta paNa jovAI gayuM. Ama, tAbaDatoba karavAnuM paNa khAsa kAraNa hatuM. banne pakSanA mA

Page #74
= mArA anubhavo bApone potAnA saMtAnonI samasyAnuM samAdhAna karavuM hatuM. mane eka prazna paNa pUchavAnI chUTa nahotI. cUpacApa mUMge moDhe lagna-maMDapamAM besI javAnuM hatuM. AvI dabANabharI paristhitimAM huM sAsariyAnA ghare poMkhANI. vara-pakSa dvArA AvA ghaDIyA lagna kema jaladI levAyA, teno bheda lagnanI prathama rAte ja khulI gayo. mArI mA e jene mArA jIvananI soMpaNI karI hatI tevA mArA jIvanasAthIe madhurajanInI rAte ja mane vadhAmaNI ApatA hoya ema kahyuM ke A lagna mArI marajI viruddha karavAmAM AvyA che. tethI patipatnI tarIke mane kazI levA-devA nathI. mA-bApe potAnI icchA pUrI karavA mArA sAthe jabaradastI karI che. bAkI huM to manathI eka mane gamatI kanyAne varI cUkyo chuM ane tene ja paraNIza mAro A nirNaya aphara che !joyo ne ! mArA jIvananA dvitIya aMkano A karuNa aMta ! zayanagRhanI A cAra dIvAlo vacce mAre konA pAse nyAya mAgavo? dilanI jagyAe to paththara jaDAI gayA hatA, je bolI zakatA nahotA. mAre to svAmInA hukamano svIkAra karavAno hato. hiMmata jevI zaktino to mane kazo anubhava ja na hato. Ama, huM saMjogono zikAra banI. te mArA patie have mAre temane kevI rIte sAtha Apavo tenI rUparekhA samajAvI. mArA patie pahelethI ja A bAbatano plAna banAvI rAkhyo hato ane mArA sahakArathI temanuM A kAma saraLa banI jAya tevI temanI gaNatarI hatI. badhuM have temanI icchA mujaba thavA lAgyuM. mArA emanI e muzkelI hatI ke temanI premikAnA mAtApitA A lagnanA sakhata virodhI hatA tethI kanyAnuM apaharaNa karavA sivAya koI chUTako nahoto. - AnA mATenI yojanA paNa tabakkAvAra taiyAra hatI. chevaTe A yojanA

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= mArA anubhavo pramANe amo amArA hanImunanA bahAne muMbaI AvyA. bIjA divase ja potAnI premIkAne maLavA mATe ja sthaLa bannee nakkI karI rAkhyuM hatu tyAM patideva pahoMcI gayA ane intajAramAM ghaDIo gaNavA lAgyAM, paNa nasIbe yArI na ApI. kanyAnA darzana durlabha banI gayA. dararoja samayasara patideva mulAkAta mATe pahoMcI jatAM. paraMtu nirAzA ane nisAsA sAthe pAchA pharatA. chevaTe A "AzA ThagArI navaDI. sAcI hakIkata sAme AvI. tapAsa karatAM khabara paDI ke chokarInA mA-bApane A gupta mulAkAtanI gaMdha AvI jatAM cUpacApa koine kAnokAna khabara nA paDe tevI rIte dIkarIne mAmAne ghare mokalI dIdhI hatI, jyAM muratiyA sahita lagnanI badhI taiyArI karI rAkhI hatI, jethI rAtorAta lagna levAI gayA ane Ama, pharI eka asahAya bAlikAnuM lagnanI vedI para bali devAI gayuM. Avo pracaMDa AghAta mArA pati jIravI nA zakyA ane koine paNa jaNAvyA vagara cUpacApa relvenA pATA upara nirAMtano dama haMmezAM mATe kheMcI lIdho. mArI sthiti pharI pAchI sUDI vacce sopArI jevI thaI gaI. sasarA-pakSane huM bhArarUpa lAgavA lAgI. tethI tAbaDatoba mane mArA piyare tageDI dIdhI. svArthane sImA hotI nathI teno mane tAdaza anubhava thayo. AvI nirAdhAra chokarIne mA-bApa vagara koNa saMghare? Ama, pharI pAchI huM "sApano bhAro' banI gaI. mA nI ciMtA mArA lagnanuM sudarzana cakra pheravatI gaI ane huM nizAna banatI gaI. jIvananA prathama aMke mane "kuMvArI mAtA banavAnI bheTa ApI, to bIjA aMke vidhavAnuM biruda ApyuM. have trIjo aMka kevA AnaMda lAvaze tenI ciMtAmAM ja mane mArI potAnI "ciMtA" dekhAvA lAgI. mAnI 64

Page #76
mArA anubhavo pracaMDa zodhe pharI eka vararAjA mArA mATe zodhI kADhyo. mArI uMmara covIsa pUrA karatI hatI. yauvananI kaLIo purabahAramAM khIlI rahI hatI. mananI AzA ke pyAsa kadI khUTyAM che? mane paNa A AzA hatI ke have mAro hAtha jhAlavA koI phaTaDo juvAna AvI pahoMcaze. paraMtu aphasosa ! mArI AzA sadA adhUrI rahevA ja sarjAyelI hatI... Akhare lagnano divasa ugyo - AMgaNe Dhola pITAyo - ane hAya, pIstAlIza varasano eka AdheDa vararAjAnA rUpamAM DelamAM DokAyo. bhayanA mAryA mArA rUMvADA ubhA thaI gayA. Dhola eTalA jorathI pITAto hato ke AmAM mArI vedanAnI vANI kone saMbhaLAya? pharI saMsAranI jALamAM mAchalInI jema huM phasAI. lagnavidhi zarU thaI. vararAjAnI bAjumAM ja temanA jamaNA hAtha jevI AMkhonA DoLA dvArA potAnI hakUmata pradarzita karatI eka cAlIza varasanI bAI beThI hatI. mAMDavAmAM mane khabara paDI ke A bAI mArA patinI prathama patnI che. kharA arthamAM mArI zokya! - mane lAgyuM ke sakhata cokI-paherA sAthe huM saMsAranA kedakhAne jaI rahI chuM. Dara to e vAtano hato ke A jelara jevI lAgatI bAInI sattAnA khuda mArA pati paNa zikAra hatA. yaMtravata huM pArakA ghare gaI. A sAsarAne mAruM ghara kema kahevAya? je gharamAM mArA patinI patnI mojUda hatI te gharane mAruM potIkuM kema kahI zakuM? A sAcI vAta vistArathI jANavA maLI ke A pati patnI vacce mITho saMbaMdha hato, paiso paNa sAro hato. phakta eka zera mATInI khoTa hatI ane saMtAnanI A khAlI jagyA pUravA mATe mArA jIvanano bhoga devAyo hato. mAruM sthAna A gharamAM phakta "chokarAM jaNavAnuM mazInathI 65

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mArA anubhavo vizeSa kAMI nahotuM. niHsaMtAna daMpatIne saMtAna joituM hatuM te devAnuM mArA bhAge AvyuM. A icchA pUrI karavA A lagnanuM plAna mArI buddhizALI zokya karI rAkhyuM hatu. A saMbaMdhe mArA bhAge kaDaka kAyadAo pALavAnA hatA. jevA ke mAre pati sAtheno saMbaMdha phakta saMtAna prApta thAya teTalo ja rAkhavAno , matalaba ke mArA pati phakta mArA saMtAnonA pitA eTalo ja mAro haka ! A uparAMta saMtAnanA janma pachI tenA mAtRtvanI hakadAra huM nahIM. saMtAnone lADa laDAvavAM, ucheravAM, moTA karavAM - A badhA kudaratI hako paNa mAre svecchApUrvaka zokyane ApI devAnA ! mArA pALelA pazu jevA patinI A AjJA hatI. mArI icchA - anicchAno prazna ja nahoto. saMsAranI lagAma zokyanA majabUta hAthamAM hatI, ane mane A baMdUkanI aNI ja najara samakSa dekhAtI hatI. A jelanI cAra dIvAla vacce ja mAre jIbhe chUTako hato. have to piyaramAM paNa sahakAranI AzA nahotI. AvI paristhitimAM mArA saMsArano dora cAlyo. huM traNa saMtAnonI mAtA banI, paNa mane evuM lAgatuM ke mArA hAthamAM lADavA AvatAveMta jhuMTAI jatA hatA. kheDelA khetarano pAka pote ja lakhI zakatI nahotI. Ama, jiMdagInuM cakkara cAlatuM rahyuM. jIvanano suvarNakALa ke mANavA jevI je paLo hatI te samayanA cakramAM homAtI gai. Ama, 'vasaMta' veravikhera thaine pAnakharamAM pheravAI gaI. Aje mArI uMmara pIstAlIsanI AsapAsa che. jIvananA trIjA aMkamAM praveza pAmI cUkI chuM. mArA patino svargavAsa thaI gayo che. mArI zokya paNa vRddhAvasthAne Are AvI pahoMcI che. jIvana jIvavAnI sAthe anubhavapATha paNa huM zIkhatI gaI chuM. Aje hiMmate mArA jIvanamAM prANa $

Page #78
mArA anubhavo pUryA che. mane have mArAmAM ja rahelI zaktinuM jJAna prApta thayuM che. A jJAna dvArA samayasUcakatA vAparI sattAnI lagAma saMpUrNapaNe meM hAthamAM lai lIdhI che. saMtAno moTA thaI gayA che. teomAM paNa samayasara sAcI paristhitinI samajanAM bIja meM ropI dIdhAM che ane prabhukRpAe mArI A hiMmatanuM sAruM pariNAma huM Aje bhogavI rahI chuM. hiMmatanI AvI amUlya kiMmata joIne mane thAya che ke AvI hiMmatanuM siMcana bALapaNathI ja jo mArA jIvanamAM siMcAyuM hota to jIvananI keTalIye duHkha ane majabUrI bharelI kaparI paLomAMthI mukti samayasara maLI gaI hota. AzA che ke A kathA bIjAnA jIvanamAM hiMmata ane preraNAnA prANa pUre.. mArI dareka mAtA-pitAne khAsa vinaMtI che ke bhale dIkarAone rANAjI, zivAjI jevA banAvo paNa dIkarIone rANI lakSmIbAI jevI banavA mATe hiMmata ane tAlIma bALapaNathI ja Apajo. AjathI keTalAMya varSo pahelAM nepoliyane A vAta kahI hatI ke e kahe nepoliyana dezane karavA AbAda, sarasa rIta to e ja che gho mAtAne jJAna. = [67] 67

Page #79
= mArA anubhavo zikSaNa ja sarvasva kacchanA pATanagara bhUja zaheranA AMgaNe vizALa kSetramAM suzobhita evI "IndrAbAI garlsa hAIskUla" bhUja zaheranuM eka gauravabharyuM, sarasvatI devInuM sthAnaka che. samasta kacchanI bALAo ahIMthI zikSaNa meLavI jIvanane ujjavaLa kare che. A skUlanA zikhara upara pharake che jJAnanI dhajA ane pharapharatI dhajAmAM gUMthAyelI che, evA be bAMdhavonI gAthA, jeoe tana, mana ane dhanathI A vidyAnI vADIne sIcI che. A banne baMdhuonuM nAma che - karamacaMdabhAI ane DosAbhAI. A jJAnapITha banne bhAIonuM jIvaMta svapna che. A svapna kevI rIte sAkAra banyuM te mATe teonA jIvanano ItihAsa jANavo jarUrI che. A banne bhAIoe garIbInI godamAM janma lIdho. teonA pitA lAlacaMdabhAI khUba saraLa svabhAvanA mahenatu ane prAmANika hatA. divasanA daza kalAka kALI majUrI karavA chatAMya temanI kamANI kuTuMbanA sabhyonA peTano khADo pUravA azakta hatI. dareka sabhyanuM adhuM khAlI rahetuM peTa Ano purAvo hato. mA bicArI lohAnA daLaNAM daLe ane je thoDA paisA maLe te eka poTalImAM "tAtkAlika khAtA" peTe sAcavI rAkhe. mA - bApanI A kALI majUrI joI moTAbhAI DosAbhAInuM dila dravI uThyuM. temanI uMmara khelavA-kUdavAnI hatI paNa gharanI hAlata joI samaju DosAbhAIe kumaLI vayamAM nizALanuM bhaNatara choDI nokarI karavAnuM svIkArI lIdhuM ane nokarI arthe teo kacchathI dUra evA kolakattA

Page #80
mArA anubhavo zaheramAM pahoMcI gayA. potAnA kAmamAM thoDA anubhava meLavI potAnA nAnAbhAI karamacaMdabhAIne paNa kolakattA bolAvI dIdho ane banne bhAI ghAMcInA baLadanI jema kAmamAM joDAI gayA. khaMtathI kAma karatAM banne bhAIonA anubhavano AMka jhaDapathI vadhavA mAMDyo. mahenata ane pramANikatAthI vepArIono vizvAsa meLavI lIdho. bajAramAM AbarU ane Ijjata vadhavA mAMDI. dhIre-dhIre vepAranA kSetramAM AgaLa vadhatA gayA. lakSmIdevInI kRpA varasatI rahI. jotajotAmAM kamANIno AMka AsamAna tarapha vadhavA lAgyo. eka bahuja pratiSThita kaMpanIe banne bhAIone kaMpanImAM pArTanara banAvI dIdhA. dhanavAna banavAnI sAthe mA-bApe ropelAM saMskAranA bIjo paNa vikasatA gayA. namratA ane sAdAIne teoe jIvanamAM agratA ApI. garIbAInA anubhavoe paNa sAcI dizA batAvI, pariNAme bIjAnI garIbAInuM duHkha dUra karavAnI bhAvanAe janma lIdho. garIbAInA rogane dUra karavAnuM osaDa dAna che. ane te paNa jJAna devIne caraNe AvA sadvicAro ane sadbhAvathI sArAM kAmo karavAnI preraNA maLI. takane jhaDapI laIne amalamAM mUkavAnI manamAM gAMTha vALI ane pratijJA lIdhI ke je paNa kamANI thAya teno dazAMza bhAga dAna devA mATe judo rAkhavo. garIbIe haju temano sAtha choDyo nahoto. paNa dAna mATe beMkamAM paisA jamA karavAno nizcaya pAko hato. A paisAno sadupayoga karavA vicAro ane yojanAonI rUparekhA teoe banAvI lIdhI ane zarU karyo tAtkAlika amala ! zubham zIdhramanI mAphaka. 69

Page #81
= mArA anubhavo sauthI pahelI yojanAmAM sthAna lIdhuM - strI zikSaNanA khAtAe. A yojanA heThaLanuM sauthI paheluM kArya hatuM bALAo mATe skUlanI sthApanA. AjathI lagabhaga 100 varSa pahelAMnI A vAta che. e jamAnAmAM bALAonuM akSarajJAna nahivat jevuM hatuM. kAraNa ke gAmamAM kanyAo mATe nizALanuM nAmanizAna paNa nahotuM. samAjanA dareka mAtA-pitAmAM evI mAnyatA hatI ke chokarI bhaNaze to vaMThI jaze. mA-bApanI AbarU upara pANI pheravaze ane pariNAme samAjane nIcuM jovAnuM thaze. tethI samAjane bacAvavA mATe strI zikSaNano bahiSkAra karavo jarUrI che. AvI mAnyatAoe samAjamAM evA UMDA mULiyA vAvyA hatA ke A vAvaDIne casakAvavA dhoLA divase tArA jovA paDe: aMdhArAne ulecavuM paDe. AvA kaparA kAryane pUruM karavAnuM bIDuM hiMmatathI jhaDapI, banne bhAIoe kamara kasIne kAmanA zrI gaNeza karyA. gAmanI vacce eka gharanA oraDAmAM skUla zarU karavAnuM nakkI karyuM, jethI gAmanI chokarIone ghara AMgaNe ja nizALa maLI jAya. A kAma mATe zikSikAbenane zodhavuM ane bhaNAvavA mATe taiyAra karavA e sauthI vadhu kaparuM kAma hatuM. A kAma mATe lakSmIbena nAmanA eka benane samajAvIne taiyAra karyA. lakSmIbenane samAjanA virodhano khUba Dara hato ane banyuM paNa evuM ja. lakSmIbena jevA skUla AvavA mATe nIkaLyA ke samAjanuM ToLuM IMTa ane paththara sAthe rastA vacce temane rokavA hAjara thaI gayuM. lakSmIbene hiMmata karIne teone samajAvIne sAmano karavA bahu prayatna karyo paNa temanuM zuM gaju? paththaranA ghAe temane pAchA vaLavA majabUra karI dIdhA. hiMsAbharyuM jhanUna ugra hatuM. chao

Page #82
= mArA anubhavo A paristhiti joI banne bhAIone lAgyuM ke, A to retImAMthI tela kADhavA jevuM che. paNa pIchehaTha kema karAya? teone potAnA AtmabaLamAM vizvAsa hato. dhIraja ane hiMmatane jIvananuM sUtra banAvyuM hatuM. chevaTe A muzkelImAMthI teoe mArga zodhI kADhyo. bhAvanagaramAM te samaye gijubhAI badhekA, jeo samAjasudhAraka ane strI zikSaNanA prakhara himAyatI hatA. banne bhAIoe temanI sAthe saMparka sAdhI potAnI muzkelI varNavI. gijubhAIe ukela Apyo. teoe manoramAbena nAmanI eka zikSikAbena ke jeo sevAbhAvI, nIDara ane AdarzavAdI hatA temane A muzkela kAma mATe pasaMda karyA. manoramAbene A celeMja svIkArI lIdhI. pharI pAcho e ja dora zarU thayo. ekatarapha rastAnI vaccovaca manoramAbena ane bIjI tarapha rastAne rokatuM samAjaMnuM ToLuM IMTa, paththara sAthe. paraMtu paristhiti thoDI badalAI hatI. manoramAbena makkama ane laDI levAnA mUDamAM hatA. eka sainikanI jema ToLAMnI sAme garjanA karI. "sAme Avo, konI hiMmata che mAravAnI?" eka strInuM AvuM raudra svarUpa joIne ToLuM jarA gabharAI gayuM. hathiyAra heThA paDI gayA. svAbhAvika che ke hiMmatabharI saccAInI sAme mAravAvALA DhIlA paDI jAya che. ane AvuM ja kAMIka banyuM. mArAmArI to aTakI paNa Aga bhabhUkI bhIMto upara - potAnA virodhane darzAvavA rAtorAta gAmanI badhI bhIMto bibhatsa sUtrothI citarAI gaI. samAje sUtro lakhyA. "jAgo, samAjapremIo, ApaNA samAjanI lAja luMTAI rahI che, bahiSkAra karo ane chevaTe manoramAbenane dalagatA gaMdA lakhANo, jene ahIM sthAna ApavAmAM A kalama paNa zarama 71.

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- SIR mArA anubhavo anubhave che. A gaMdI pravRtti thoDo samaya cAlI paNa paMkacara paDelA TAyaramAM havA keTalo samaya TakI rahe? chevaTe vijaya to satyano ja thAya che. bhUja zaheramAM chevaTe strI-zikSaNanA dvAra khUlyA. dhIre-dhIre samAjanA sabhyonI gerasamaja dUra thatI gaI. bhaNataranI jarUriyAta samajAtI gaI - be chokarIonI hAjarIthI zarU thayelI kanyAzALAmAM kanyAonI saMkhyA vadhatI gaI. Ama IndrAbAI garlsa hAIskUlano janma thaI gayo. samayanI sAthe ane saMkhyAnI sAthe kramazaH vargo vadhatA gayA ane meTrIka sudhI pahoMcI gayA. jayAM akSarajJAna paNa zUnyavat hatuM tyAM chokarIo meTrIkanI DigrIo meLavavA lAgI. A paNa eka camatkAra ja ne! Aja. sudhImAM A skUlamAMthI asaMkhya chokarIoe zikSaNanuM dAna meLavyuM che ane varaso sudhI A paraMparA cAlu raheze. baMne bhAIonI A mAnyatA phaLI ke "mahenatanAM phaLa mIThAM che." "jo kUvAmAM hoya to havADAmAM jarUra Ave." Aje A skUla Adhunika sAdhanothI sajja che. suMdara lAyabrerI, Tenisa korTa ane mukta vAtAvaraNamAM bALAono vikAsa thaI rahyo che. skUlanA AMgaNAmAM pravezatAM ja najare paDe che, jAjaramAna mudrAthI zobhita mAtuzrI IndrAbAIno phoTo. A phoTo jotAM baMdhuo kahe che ke amArI be mAtAo che ane te paNa sagI. ekanuM nAma che - IndrAbAI, vAtsalyanI devI ane bIjuM nAma che - IndrAbAI garlsa hAIskUla, jJAnanI devI, sarasvatI devI. samayanI gati sAthe A jJAnakUca AgaLa vadhatI gaI. hAIskUla ane meTrIka pachI Avyo kolejano vAro. meTrIkanA zikSaNa pachI vidyArthIone kolejanuM zikSaNa levA kacchanI bahAra javuM paDatuM hatuM. 72

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= mArA anubhavo moTAbhAganAM vidyArthIo pAse TrenanuM bhADuM cukavavA jeTalA paNa paisA nahotA. mA-bAponI A muzkelI dUra karavA baMne bhAIoe bhUjamAM kolejanI sthApanA karavA mATe kamara kasI ane bhUjanI prathama koleja - lAlana kolejanA nAme zarU thaI gaI. bhUja zaheranA AMgaNe jJAnanI gaMgA vahetI thaI gaI jenA dvArA vidyArthIonA jIvanamAM hariyALI AvI gaI. AvAM sakAryonI kUca haju cAlu ja hatI. dAnano pravAha avirata gatie vaheto gayo. pharI eka uttama yojanA astitvamAM AvI. - bhUja gAmanA pAdare baMne bhAIoe potAnA pitAzrIne premabharI aMjali ApavA eka bhavya dharmazALA banAvavAnI yojanA amalamAM mUkI. A dharmazALAne pitAzrInuM nAma ApyuM - "lAlacaMda thAvara mahAjana vADI." A mahAjanavADIe Aja sudhImAM keTalAMya parivAro ane musApharone mITho poro khAvA sagavaDa karI ApI che. bhUja zaheranA garIba parivArone to gharanA AMgaNe A havApheranuM sthaLa maLI gayuM che. A mahAjana pakSanI khAsa sagavaDa e che ke tenI svacchatA ane makAnanI jALavaNI upara khUba dhyAna ApavAmAM Ave che. A mATe kaDaka niyamo banAvyA che ane paisAnI pUratI vyavasthA cAlu rahe te mATe dhyAna apAya che. banne bhAIonI AvI jhINavaTabharI dIrgha dRSTi hatI, jene kAraNe Aja paNa teonuM dareka kArya eka phUlavADInI mAphaka maheke che. havenI yojanAe sukAna pheravyuM. svAthya ane haoNspiTala tarapha AjathI 70 varSa pahelAM lokone bALakanA prasava viSenI meDIkala sAravAranuM jJAna jarApaNa nahotuM. samAjamAM evI mAnyatA pracalita hatI ke "jenI mA marI gaI hoya tevI ja strIo "suvAvaDa mATe haoNspiTalamAM jAya." 73

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= mArA anubhavo matalaba ke "presTIja" no savAla hato. samAjanA AvA ajJAnane dUra karavA ane dezanI prasutA beno suyANI ke dAyaNanA hAthano zikAra nA bane te mATe bhUjanI hospiTalamAM "prasUti vibhAga" zarU karyo. A kAma pAra pADavuM agharuM hatuM. ane zarUAtamAM muzkelIo paNa AvI paNa anubhavI baMdhuone paDakAra jhIlavAnI karAmata koThe paDI gaI hatI. prasUtivibhAganuM kAma hoziyAra ane anubhavI leDI DaoNkTaranA hAthamAM soMpyuM ane A vibhAgane Adhunika sAdhanothI sajja karyuM. AvI haoNspiTalanI sAravArane kAraNe ghaNI mAtAonA jAna bacI zakyA. samayasara oparezana thavAnA kAraNe ghaNA bALakone paNa bacAvI zakAyA. AvA uttama kArya pachI AvI navI yojanA - jenuM nAma che, sIvaNazALA. jo baheno potAno phurasadano samaya kapaDAMnI salAI zIkhavAmAM gALe to A hunnara dvArA teo potAnAM paga upara UbhI rahIne ghera beThe kamANI karI zake. sIvaNazALA mATeno A mukhya dhyeya hato. A kArya dvArA bahenono AtmavizvAsa vadhe ane samAjanI unnati thaI zake, je khUba ja jarUrI hatuM. Avo vicAra AvatAM ja eka bena, jeoe A kAmamAM DigrI meLavI hatI temane niyukta karyA ane hAtha ane pagathI cAle tevAM mazIno kharIdI lIdhA. sIvaNazALAmAM bahenonI hAjarI jhaDapathI vadhatI gaI. A kAmamAM bahenone khUba rasa paDyo ane zALAno vikAsa thato gayo. potAnA paga upara UbhA rahI benoe ghara beThe kamANI zarU karI. Ama, A yojanAonI hAramALA vikasatI gaI. A samaya daramyAna duHkhada ghaTanA e banI ke moTAbhAI DosAbhAIno svargavAsa

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= mArA anubhavo thaI gayo. karamacaMdabhAInI javAbadArI vadhI gaI. zikSaNa, svAthya ane sIvaNakalA pachI karamacaMdabhAInI najara sAme AvIne UbhA, garIbonA "bhUkhyA peTa". potAnA bALapaNamAM A duHkhano sAkSAtkAra temane thaI ja gayo hato. bhUkhyA peTanI vedanA keTalI bhayaMkara hoya che teno to pratyakSa anubhava hato. tethI A kSetramAM kAMIka karavA mATe temanuM mana taDapI rahyuM hatuM. pariNAme ekadivasa savAramAM pharavA jatI vakhate karamacaMdabhAIe bhUkhane kAraNe behAla banelAM thoDAM bhAIone premathI bhojananuM nimaMtraNa ApI dIdhuM. temanA gharanI pAchaLa moTI jagyA hatI. tyAM rasoDuM cAlu karI dIdhuM. bhojana banAvatI bAIone bolAvI dALa, bhAta, roTalA, zAka, chAza vagere taiyAra karAvyuM. te barAbara bAra vAgye niyaMtrita mahemAno hAjara thaI gayA. AmAM vRddho, bhUkhathI bevaDa vaLelAM garIbo ane mAgavAvALAono samAveza thato hatA. patarAvaLI sAthe paMgata goThavAI gaI. badhAM premathI bharapUra peTa jamyAM, ane aMtarathI AzIrvAda ApatAM bolyAM ke "Aje khAlI peTa bharAyuM." basa pachI to A krama zarU thaI gayo. havAnI jema khabara phelAI gaI. jamavAvALAonI saMkhyA vadhatI gaI. A dezamAM bhUkhyAonI kyAM achata che ? temAM paNa "premathI koI jamADe" enA jevo kayo AnaMda che? karamacaMdabhAIne mana A amUlya paLa hatI. temanI icchA hatI ke A maMgalamaya jamaNavAra sadA mATe cAlyA kare tethI teoe A bhojana zALAne "janatA sastuM bhojanAlaya" nAma ApIne rajIsTarDa karAvI lIdhI. eka TrasTanI racanA karI ane sArI evI rakama DipojhITa karI, jenA vyAjamAMthI A kArya haMmezAM cAlatuM rahe. A 75

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= mArA anubhavo saMsthA lokomAM khUba priya thaI gaI. loko potAnA ghare lagna, janmadina ke koIpaNa zubha prasaMga hoya tenI ujavaNI A saMsthAnA lokone jamADIne ujavatAM. Ama loko taraphathI dAnano pravAha Avato zarU thaI gayo. Aja sudhI asaMkhya lokoe A bhojanazALAno lAbha uThAvyo che. keTalAM lokonA zarIranuM svAthya taMdurasta banI gayuM che. bImArIo dUra thaI gaI che ane bekAro kAma karatAM thaI gayA che. matalaba ke sUkAto choDa pharI lIlochama banI gayo che. karamacaMdabhAIne mana A saMsthA temanuM priya saMtAna che, jenI kamANI bhavobhava maLatI raheze. Aje paNa A saMsthAmAM loko premathI jame che. e jamAnAmAM bhUjamAM kyAMya koIne ghera pANInAM naLa nahotAM ane jemAMthI loko pANI meLavatAM te kUvAo paNa dUra dUra hatA. baMne bhAIoe lokonI A muzkelI dUra karavA upAya zodhI kADhyo. potAnAM ja gharanAM kampAunDamAM kUvo khodAvI dIdho. bhagavAne mahera karI. kacchanAM raNane kAraNe kUvAomAM khAruM pANI nIkaLatuM hatuM. paNa A kUvAmAM pramANamAM mIThuM pANI nIkaLyuM. A kUvAe gAmanI vacamAM sthAna meLavyuM. tethI lokomAM khuzAlI chavAI gaI. Akho divasa chokarIo ane strIonAM ToLAM pANInI hela mAthe mukIne majhethI vAto karatAM pANI potAnA gharamAM ThAlavatA hatA. dararoja karamacaMdabhAInA gharane AMgaNe lokonAM meLAnI ramajhaTa jhAmatI hatI. eka bAju A pANInI lhANI ane bIjI bAju mIThI madhurI chAzanI lhANI zarU karavAmAM AvI. baMne bhAIonI evI icchA hatI ke koI sArI evI pravRtti zarU karIe jethI jJAtinI benonA zubha pagalAM savAranA pahoramAM ApaNA AMgaNA zobhAve. A puNyanuM | 76 |

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mArA anubhavo kAma hatuM. AvI zubha bhAvanAno janma thatAM teoe thoDI bheMsa kharIdI ane eka bharavADanuM kuTuMba rahI zake tevI oraDIonI makAnanA pAchalA bhAgamAM vyavasthA karI. - yojanA pramANe savAranA pahoramAM chAzanI koThIo bharAIne taiyAra thaI gaI, ane benonI ToLIo chAza levA hAjara thaI gaI. chAza ApavAnuM kAma gharanI dIkarIo karatI hatI. A jJAtinuM kAma hatuM. tethI badhI beno hoMze hoMze chAza levA AvatI. bhUjanA pAdara upara cAre tarapha phelAyelI AvI zubha pravRttio guladastAnI kalagI samAna che. ekatarapha IndrAbAI garlsa hAIskUlanA AMgaNAmAM kilakilATa karatI kanyAonAM hAsya-jharaNAM vahI rahyA che, to bIjI bAju khullI havAmAM zAMtino zvAsa letAM musApharo "mahAjana vADI" ne mukta mane mANI rahyAM che. AvuM suMdara "smRti smAraka" baMne bhAIonA mAtApitA pratyenA premanuM pratIka che. AvI suMdara vADImAM mahAjana vADInI sAme IndrAbAI pArkano janma thayo, jyAM Aje paNa loko mIThI havA ane phUlonI sugaMdha mANI rahyA che. baMne bhAIo vacce premanI abhuta samaja hatI. nAnAbhAIne moTAbAI pratye "guru jevI bhakti" hatI. AvI A rAma-lakSmaNanI joDI hatI. kAdavanA kamaLanI jema garIbAImAM UgyA ane khIlyA. zrImaMtAI AvI paNa sAthe ahaMkArane nA lAvI. saMyamanI sAthe cAritranuM pAlana karyuM ane guNo dvArA jIvanamAM phatehanI dhajA pharakAvI. mAtuzrI IndrAbAInI tana, mana ane dhanathI sevA karI ane AMkhanI pAMpaNa upara

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mArA anubhavo S rAkhyA. mA paNa saMtAnanA A sukhane peTa bharIne mANatAM paNa temanAM hRdayane eka ja duHkha korI khAtuM hatuM ke chokarAnA pitAzrIe "duHkhanI vacce ja AMkha mIMcI." pitAjInA chellAM zabdo, patnIne saMbodhIne hatA ke, tuM ciMtA karatI nahIM, bIjuM to kAMI ApI zakato nathI. paNa A "be siMha" (bhAIo) mUkIne jAuM chuM, je tArI rakSA karaze ane A bhaviSyavANI sAcI paDI ane have chelle Ave che khAsa vAta. baMne bhAIoe vicAryuM ke jIvanamAM ghaNuM meLavyuM. garIbI joI, zrImaMtAI bhogavI, kuTuMbanI lIlIvADImAM AnaMda karyo. have A badhI pravRttiomAMthI nivRtti laI zAMtithI sArA kAmomAM samaya vitAvavo - ema nakkI karI lIdhuM. teonI uMmara haju nAnI hatI, dhIkatI kamANI hatI, chokarAone jIvanamAM "seTala karavA vagere kAmo haju bAkI hatA. paraMtu "samayano takAdo" temane mana amUlya hato. saMtoSathI mana bharAI gayuM hatuM. teo mAnatA hatA ke saMtAnone vArasAmAM "ejyukezana ApavuM jarUrI che, je teo meLavI zakyA nahotA. A vAtano DaMkha sAMpanI jema temanA manamAM bhoMkAto hato. ane manamAM nakkI karyA pramANe svIkArI lIdhI svecchAe nivRtti, e prArthanA sAthe ke..... UMDA aMdhArethI prabhu parama teje tuM laIjA. ***** 78

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mArA anubhavo huM reDI chuM zrImatI urmilA dhoLakiyA bharata mArA bhAIno sauthI nAno dIkaro. saMyukta kuTuMbamAM nAno dIkaro. badhAnAM lADa pAme che, khAsa karIne dAdImAno te "lADako' hoya che. have A bharatabhAI moTA thaI gayA che ane dAdImAnuM lADanuM vyAja pAchuM Ape che. A majhA che saMyukta kuTuMbanI ! jemAM dAdA-dAdI parivAranI hUMphamAM vRddhAvasthAne bhogave che. mArA mA eTale bhAratanA dAdI. haravApharavAnAM zokhIna paraMtu vRddhAvasthAne kAraNe have bahAragAma javA mATe temanI spaSTa nA hoya che, paNa bharatabhAI je temanAM priya prautra che, teone mAthe eka dhUna savAra thaI gaI ke mAre bAne muMbaIthI kalakattA laI javAM che. ' A vAtanI jANa thatAM meM mAne pUchyuM, "mA, kalakattA javuM che?" , "nA re nA, have A uMmare javAtuM haze?" mA makkama hatI. mA, bharata tane laI javAnI taiyArI karI rahyo che ane TikiTa paNa laI AvavAno che." meM javAba Apyo. ' "bharata to sAva gAMDiyo che, paNa khUbaja premALa che.. paraMtu mArAmAM have jarApaNa zakti nathI. uMmarano takAdo che." . * gharanA badhA sabhyoe mAnI lIdhuM ke A vakhate to bharatabhAI hArI javAnAM, paNa jema rAmAyaNanAM bharatabhAIe rAja-siMhAsana upara rAmano ja adhikAra raheze evuM vacana laIne, pALI batAvyuM hatuM tema A bharatabhAIe paNa mAne potAnI sAthe kalakattA jarUra laI jaze evuM manomana vacana laI hatuM. have juo nIceno saMvAda -

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= mArA anubhavo kema bA, taiyArI karI lIdhI che ne ?' bharatabhAIe dAva ajamAvyo. zAnI?' bA camakyA. kolakAttA javAnI." bharatabhAI AgaLa vadhyA. ' "jo bharata, tuM jIda nA karato. mArI muzkelIno pAra nathI. lAkaDI laIne DolatAM DolatAM cAlavAnanuM. vAraMvAra bAtharUmamAM javAnuM. AMkhathI ochuM dekhAya. badhI takalIpha che..' bAe paristhiti samajAvavAnI koziza karI. . bA! tamoe kahI che, tenA karatAM paNa vadhu takalIphonuM lIsTa meM banAvyuM che ane tenuM samAdhAna paNa karI lIdhuM che." bharatabhAIe zAMtithI javAba Apyo. are vAha, samAdhAna? kevI rIte karyuM?" . juo bA, tamo thAkI jazo to teDI laIza. bAtharUmanI pAse ja sITa che. tamArI nAnI bega sAthe "bAtharUmavALo Dabbo' jenI tamone bahu ciMtA che, te huM mArA khabhAnI begamAM ja laI levAno chuM." bA camakI gayA ane pUchI beThAM ke "A badhuM uMcaketA tane zarama nahIM Ave?' "bA, tamArA gAMDiyAne tamAruM kAma karavAmAM kadI zarama AvI che? basa, bAnuM mana jItAI gayuM ane bA bolI uThyA. "huM reDI chuM.' gharanA badhA sabhyo cakti thaI gayAM. kolakAttA pahoMcIne bAe bharatanI pITha thAbaDIne bolI uThyAM, "vAha beTA! dIkarA ho to AvAM!" ane bAnA AMkhathI nItaratAM AzIrvAdo bharatabhAIe khobAmAM jhIlI lIdhA.

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mArA anubhavo "dIkarIno prema" DI (tA. 23-2-73 zukravAra rAte 7 vAge) mAM mA mamatAnI pUtaLI enA premano nahi pAra svArthI A duniyAmAM mA ja mAro AdhAra. mA vinA jIvana sUnuM mAtA hoya to bharyuM bharyuM duniyA badale paNa nahIM badale - mAtA che acaLa mA dIkarIne rakSe jema bhAratane viMdhyAcaLa. - UrvI, uMmara varSa 14 A zAMta baporamAM moTo zora te che mArI mammInI ghora ! - UrvI

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mArA anubhavo bhAI prANajIvananA janma prasaMge huM eTale, prANajIvananI nAnI bena urmilA. amAruM saMyukta kuTuMba, jayAM kuTuMbanA badhA sabhyo ekaja chatra nIce rahe. mAtA-pitAnA hAthamAM gharanI vyavasthAnI lagAma rahe. badhA sabhyo gharanA movaDInI AjJAnuM pAlana kare. bhAIbaheno saMgAthe rahe, laDe-jhaghaDe ane pAchA haLI-bhaLI jAya. AvA kuTuMbamAM prANajIvanano uchera thayo. prANajIvane kalakattAmAM rahIne saMsAra-yAtrA zarU karI. jemAM bhAbhI jevA Adarza patnI, saMtAnonuM sukhada Agamana sAthe kuTuMbanI javAbadArI. potAnA para upara UbhA rahIne A gharane sArI rIte calAvyuM. lakSmIdevIne meLavatAM nIti-dharmanI maryAdA kyAre paNa oLaMgI nahIM. jIvanamAM AvatI muzkelIomAM kaThora parizrama karI svAbhimAna dvArA tene pAra karI. samAjasevAnA kAryamAM, mitramaMDaLamAM paricaya vadhArIne suvAsa prasarAvI. prANajIvananI udAratAnA kAraNe temanuM ghara eka "paraba' jevuM banI gayuM hatuM, jyAM mahemAno hoMzathI AvatA ane premano prasAda pAmatA. AvA sneha-svAgatamAM pATha bhajavI jAya che saraLa mana ane niHsvArtha bhAve devAnI bhAvanA ! Aje paNa loko A mahemAnagatine bhUlyA nathI. have thoDA yAdaIra prasaMgone yAda karIe : kalakattAnA kacchI saMghamAM prANajIvane dila daIne kAma karyuM. temanuM zreSTha kArya e hatuM ke kacchI dazA ane vIsA banne saMpradAyamAM ekatA 82

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= mArA anubhavo jaLavAI rahe te mATe snehanI sAMkaLa samAna banI gayA. AvuM kArya prAmANikatA ane sAcI niSThA vagara zakya nathI. AvA kArya mATe kacchI saMghe teone mAna-patra ApI temanI sevAne "be pakSone joDatI kaDI jevo zirapAva ApI bIradAvI. - jyAre paNa koI bIjA mATe kAma karavuM hoya to tAtkAlika nirNaya levo paDe che. jo vicAra karavA mATe eka kSaNa paNa aTakyA to taka cAlI jAya che. AvI takane pakaDI levI e paNa svabhAvano eka guNa che. AvI ja eka taka prANajIvananI pakaDamAM AvI gaI. je takane tene prathama pharaja samajI pakaDI lIdhI. | mArA pitAjI (jene amo bhAI' kahIe chIe) ne gaLAnuM kensara che evuM DaoNkTare ociMtAnuM nidAna karyuM. A mATe tarata ja muMbaInI TATA haoNspiTala javAnuM DaoNkTare kahyuM. bhAInA mATe A AghAta sahana karavo khUbaja kaThina hato. thoDIvAra pachI bhAIe svasthatA meLavI ane tarata ja prathama vAkya bolyA ke prANajIvanane bolAvo. prANajIvana tarata bhAI pAse Avyo. badhI vAta sAMbhaLIne tarata tene kahyuM ke bhAI huM taiyAra . banI zake teTalA jaladI nIkaLI javuM joIe. A vakhate prANajIvana te potAnA bijhanesa jevA jarUrI kAmo, saMtAnonA kAmo, adhUrA rahelA kAryo je tenA vagara koIpaNa pUrA karI zake tema nahotuM - - AmAMnuM kAMI paNa tene yAda nA AvyuM, Ano vicAra suddhAM nA Avyo. ane bhAIne paNa potAnI AvI jIvana-maraNanI ghaDIne TANe prANajIvana sivAya koI yAda nA AvyuM. A kevo adbhuta vizvAsa! bIje divase bhAIne vidAya ApavA AkhuM kuTuMba bheguM thaI gayuM

Page #95
= mArA anubhavo hatuM. A javAnI ghaDIe moTA bena godAvarIbene kahyuM ke, prANajIvana kAkAne sAjA karIne jaladI pAchA lAvaje. prANajIvane javAba ApatAM kahyuM ke tamo koIpaNa phikara nA karatA. mane khAtarI che ke bhAIne jaladI sAjA karAvIne ghare laI AvIza. A avAjanA raNakAmAM vizvAsa hato, ane kharekhara AvI jIvaleNa bImArImAMthI bacIne bhAI hemakhema ghare AvI gayA. hRdayanA zuddha manobhAva dhAryuM kAma pUruM karavAnI zakti Ape che. A satya che ane sadA satya raheze. sAcA hRdayanA vizvAsano Avo ja prasaMga prANajIvananA jIvanamAM banI gayo, jenI jhAMkhI rajU karuM chuM - prANajIvanane kalakattAmAM ociMtAno jIvaleNa bahArTaeTeka' Avyo. amo AkhuM kuTuMba kalakattAmAM bheguM thaI gayuM. pUjaya mA ane jayAbhAbhInuM duHkha joI zakAtuM nahotuM. haoNspiTalanA ImarajansI kera mAM rAta-divasa DaoNkTaro saMbhALI laI rahyA hatA. thoDo samaya evo AvI gayo ke thoDI kSaNa hRdayanA dhabakArA baMdha thaI gayA. te samaye temanA eka dosta chAtI dabAvIne "ArTIphIzIyala TrITamenTa zarU karI. jayAbhAbhI prArthanA dvArA jANe prabhumaMdiramAM pahoMcI gayA. temanA caherA uparanuM vizvAsanuM teja camakArA mArI karI rahyuM hatuM ke A dIvaDAne koI AMca nahIM Ave. eka tarapha havAmAM olavAto dIvaDo ane bIjI tarapha jayAbhAbhInI bhagavAna uparanI AsthA! evuM lAgatuM hatuM ke zuM sAvitrInI mAphaka prabhu A prArthanA svIkAraze? paraMtu jevI prANajIvanane eka samaye AsthA hatI ke huM bhAIne sAjA karIne ghare jarUra laI AvIza. jevA zuddha hRdayathI A bhAvanA karI hatI tenuM ja jANe pratyakSa phaLa maLatuM hoya tema A bhayaMkara bImArImAMthI prANajIvana sAMgopAMga pAra utarI gayo. zubha 84

Page #96
mArA anubhavo kAryanuM phaLa zubha maLe ja che. teno A sAkSAt purAvo che. AkhA kuTuMbane A zubha lhAvo maLatAM AnaMdano pAra na rahyo. prANajIvananI lAgaNIo to ApaNe joI, have temanI hiMmata paNa eka nAnA prasaMgathI joI laIe. prANajIvananI behena urmilA bIralApura rahetI hatI. bIralApura kalakattAthI thoDuM dUra hatuM. bIralApura javA mATe kalakattAthI basa maLatI hatI. paNa ahIMnI pablIka basa, jemAM jAmatI lokonI bhIDa ane uzkerAIne thatI mArAmArI, AvI A basanI kreDITa' hatI. kalakattAnI ghaNI basomAM lokonI eTalI bhIDa thaI jAya che ke dUrathI AvatI basa jANe lokonuM ToLuM doDIne AvatuM hoya evuM dazya banI jAya che. prANajIvananI nAnI dIkarI, je haju AThathI nava uMmaranI hatI te caMdrikAe savAla karyo ke bApujI, mane bIralApura phaIbAne ghare javuM che to laI jazo? A savAla sAMbhaLatA ja prANajIvananI aMdara hanumAnanI zakti jAgrata thaI gaI - tene evuM lAgyuM ke bALakoe nAnapaNathI ja nIDara ane bahAdura banavuM joIe. basa, teNe caMdrikAne pUchI lIdhuM ke huM tane bIralApura jatI basamAM besADI dauM to tuM ekalI bIralApura jaI zakIza? phaIbA tane basa upara teDavA AvI jaze. caMdrikA paNa bApanI ja beTI hatI. teNe tarata javAba Apyo ke hA, huM jaI zakIza, emAM DaravA jevuM zuM che? tarata nirNaya levAI gayo, ane "hiMmate mardA to madade khudA' nI jaya bolAvI caMdrikAbena basamAM goThavAI gayA. ane progrAma pramANe surakSita pahoMcI paNa gayA. , bApa beTInI A vijayagAthAnA guNagAna gAtAM huM mArI A kathA ahIM saMkeluM chuM.

Page #97
= mArA anubhavo. jayahinda. bhAI prANajIvanane 85 mAM varasagAMThanA divase khUba khUba vadhAI ane taMdurastI sAthe AyuSyamAna ane evI hArdika zubhecchA. - gharamAM prANajIvananI sagAInI carcA cAlu thaI gaI. pU. mA tathA pU. bhAI (pitAjI) suzIla kanyAnI pasaMdagI karavAmAM vyasta hatA. A kArya mATe prANajIvanane mAMDavI javAnuM thayuM. mAMDavImAM prANajIvanane jayA bhAbhI prathama dRSTie ja pasaMda paDI gayA. amo badhA bhAI bena pU. mA ane pU. bhAI badhAMya prANajIvananA mAMDavIthI pAchA AvavAnI AturatAthI rAha jotA hatA. prANajIvananA malakatA caherAe amone AzAbharyo saMdeza ApI dIdho hato. amArI pUchaparacha zarU thaI gaI ke kanyA kevI lAgI? speziyala zuM che? dekhAva, svabhAva guNa badhuM kevuM che? Ama praznonA mAro calAvyo. mane A lakhatAM ghaNo AnaMda thAya che ke prANajIvane phakta eka vAkyamAM kanyAno paricaya ApIne amone AnaMdita karI dIdhA. prANajIvane kahyuM ke jayAmAM kuTuMba pratyenI lAgaNI ane premabhAva mane khAsa dekhAyA, jene kAraNe A pasaMdagIne prathama sthAna ApyuM. A vAkya prANajIvananA potAmAM kevI kuTuMba pratyenI umadA lAgaNI che tenAM darzana karAve che. AvI javAbadArIbharI samaja potAnA aMdarathI ja Ave che ane A vAtanI amo badhAMne sauthI vadhu khuzI che ke jayA bhAbhIe pUrA jIvanamAM potAnA kAryathI A prANajIvananA bhaviSyakathanane siddha karI batAvyuM, jenI sAkSI AkhuM kuTuMba Aje paNa Ape che. sAco prema sadA amara rahe che. 86

Page #98
= mArA anubhavo sAcuM sadAvrata , kizanabhAIe potAnuM jIvana bahu saraLa ane prAmANikatAthI vItAvyuM. teoe jIvanamAM paropakArane prathama sthAna ApyuM. patnIno svargavAsa thaI gayA pachI saMtAno potAnA parivAramAM parovAI gayA. A bAbate teonA manamAM jarApaNa asaMtoSa nahoto. potAnA gharamAM teo ekalAM ja rahetA hatA ane A rIte svataMtrapaNe jIvavAmAM temane AnaMda maLato. potAnuM jamavAnuM paNa teo jAte ja banAvatA. teoe eka niyama rAkhyo hato ke mAre dararoja eka vyaktine peTa bharAya eTaluM vadhu rAMdhavuM ane jamavAnuM teo dararoja jAte ja jaIne koIpaNa eka vyaktine ApatAM ane bhUkhyA peTane bhojana ApIne saMtoSa letAM. teoe A niyamanuM varaso sudhI niyamitapaNe pAlana karyuM hatuM. eka divasa teo jamavAnuM ApavA gayA tyAre eka maMdiranA oTalA upara eka khUba duHkhI benane teoe joI. A joI temanA manamAM karuNA utpanna thaI ane benane duHkhanuM kAraNa pUchyuM. kizanabhAInI dayAno bhAva joIne bene potAnI vItakakathA kizanabhAIne saMbhaLAvatA kahyuM ke temanA varane dArU pIvAnI ghaNI Teva hatI ane dArUnA nazAmAM patnI pAse dArU pIvA paisA mAgato. AvI dazAmAM garIbAInI bhIMsa vadhatI gaI. eka divasa gussAmAM AvIne patie tenI patnIne mArajhUDa karIne gharamAMthI kADhI mUkI. benanuM kuLa khAnadAna hatuM. tethI zaramanI mArI te be-traNa divasabhUkhI gharanI bahAra besI rahI paNa patie tene 87

Page #99
= mArA anubhavo gharamAM AvavA nA dIdhI. tethI A bena peTamAM bhUkhanI lAya laIne eka maMdiranA oTale bhagavAnane sahAre AvIne beThI. have zuM karavuM? te sUjhatuM nahotuM. - kizanabhAIe tene peTa bharIne jamADI ane maMdiramAM eka khUNAmAM rahevAnI vyavasthA karAvI dIdhI. bena roja maMdirane sAphasUpha karIne maMdiramAM bhagavAnanI pUjA karatA ane temanuM A kAma joIne vyavasthApaka paNa khuza hatA. dararoja baporanA niyama pramANe kizanabhAI premathI temanuM jamavAnuM lAvatA ane jamADatA. Ama badhuM benanuM goThavAI gayuM ane kizanabhAIno paNa nityakrama banI gayo. koI vakhata thoDA divasa kizanabhAIthI benanuM jamavAnuM laIne nahotuM javAtuM, tyAre AjubAjunA bhakto benanI jamavAnI vyavasthA karatA. ' ociMtAnI kizanabhAInI tabiyata vadhAre bagaDI gaI ane teo pathArIvaza hovAthI benane jamADavA nA jaI zakyA. teone A vAtanuM bahu duHkha hatuM paNa teo saMjogane kAraNe asahAya hatA. A vAtane traNa-cAra divasa vItI gayA. eka divase savAranA kizanabhAIe joyuM ke thoDA mANasanuM ToLuM temanA ghara tarapha maMdiramAMthI AvatuM hatuM. kizanabhAI gharanI bahAra AvyA eTale ToLAmAM je mukhI hato teNe kizanabhAIne kahyuM ke, maMdiramAM je bena rahetA hatA, temanI tabiyata acAnaka bagaDI, hArTaeTeka Avyo ane bena acAnaka gujarI gayA. kizanabhAI tarata ja maMdiramAM AvyA, chellI ghaDIe teo benane maLI nA zakyA tenuM temane khUba duHkha thayuM.

Page #100
= mArA anubhavo maMdiranA vyavasthApake kizanabhAInI hAjarImAM te bena je sAmAnanuM ' poTaluM laIne AvyA hatA te kholyuM. A poTalAmAM eka nAno baTavo ( hato te kholyo to temAM sonAnI be baMgaDIo hatI ane sAthe eka | kAgaLa maLyo, jemAM bene lakhyuM hatuM ke mArA mRtyu pachI A sonAnI baMgaDIo kizanabhAIne Apazo ane kriyAkarma paNa teonI pAse karAvajo. Ama, A bena temanI chevaTanI pUMjI je tene jIvanI jema sAcavI hatI te zraddhApUrvaka kizanabhAIne arpaNa karI gayA. A rIte teoe potAnuM vila banAvIne vyavasthApUrvaka baMdha karyuM hatuM. A joIne kirzanabhAI dhrusake dhrusake roI paDyA ane A sonAnI baMgaDInI sAthe teoe potAnA paisA meLavI benanA nAmanuM nAnuM smAraka banAvyuM ane koI bhUkhyuM Ave tene khAvAnI madada maLatI rahe tevI vyavasthA goThavI dIdhI. A banAva bAda kizanabhAI dararoja maMdire jatAM ane benane yAda karI bhUkhyAne bhojana ApatA. kizanabhAI ane benanI vacce Ama niHsvArtha premano setu sadA mATe baMdhAI gayo hato. dararoja eka vyaktine potAnA hAthanuM banAvela jamADavAnuM sadAvratanuM puNya kizanabhAI A bena pAsethI pAmI gayA. AvA hRdayanA zuddhabhAvathI kareluM kizanabhAInuM A kArya ghaNAnAM jIvanamAM preraNA pragaTAvI zake che. - urmilA dhoLakiyA kobA Azrama, ji. gAMdhInagara. *****

Page #101
= mArA anubhavo saMbhAva gujarAtamAM megharAjA evA varasyA ke nadI-nALAM chalakAI gayA ane cAre tarapha pANI pharI vaLyuM, hajAro lokonA ghara A pANImAM DUbI gayA, jhUMpaDAvAsInA jhUMpaDA sAthe potAnI gharavakharI paNa taNAI gaI. cAre tarapha bhUkhamaro ane rogacALo chavAI gayo. AvA samaye hosTelanI baheno mArI pAse AvI ane A takalIphamAM garIbone madada karavAnI bhAvanA pradarzita karI. huM paNa A viSaya vize vicAratI ja hatI, paraMtu vidyArthinI bahenoe sAmethI AvIne mane kahyuM te mane bahu ja gamyuM. A mATe tarata ja amoe kArya zarU karI dIdhuM. huM tathA kamiTInI mukhya be baheno A kAma mATe phaMDa bheguM karavA nIkaLI paDyA. A bAbatano anubhava amone koIne nahoto, paNa hiMmata mardA to madade khudA" nA nArAe A samaye preraNA ApI. bhagavAna kRpAe koI evI sarasa ghaDIe A kAmanuM maMgalAcaraNa thayuM ke sAmethI saphaLatAe darzana dIdhAM. jevA amo amArA oLakhItA naTarAja sinemAnA menejara ojhA sAheba pAse gayA ke tarata ja ojhA sAhebe amArA kAmanI bhAvanAnI prazaMsA karI ane taddana navuM ane lokapriya pizcara ke jenA pahelA zomAM thiyeTara cikkAra bharAI jAya ane rUpiyAno varasAda varase. AvuM dharmendra ane hemAmAlinI jemAM hIro-hIroIna hatA, te piksarano prathama zo pradarzita karavA amone kI mAM ApI dIdhuM. matalaba ke, jeTalI kamANI philma dvArA thAya te badhI amone Donation mAM ApI dIdhI. hosTelanI chokarIo to khuza khuza thaI gaI. A bAbata ojhA

Page #102
S mArA anubhavo sAhebano khUba ja AbhAra mAnIe chIe. basa amoe kAma zarU karI dIdhuM. amoe TikiTa vecavAthI mAMDIne badhuM kAma badhI bahenonI madadathI khUba ja sarasa rIte karyuM. have paisA to puSkaLa AvyA paNa Ano sadupayoga kyAM karavo? te paNa moTo savAla hato, kAraNa ke jeoe chUTe hAthe paisAnuM dAna dIdhuM enA taraphathI moTI javAbadArI amAre nibhAvavAnI hatI. tethI kamiTInI badhI bahenoe miTIMga bolAvI ane dareka kAmanI vaheMcaNI karI dIdhI. huM tathA kamiTInI baheno vaDodarAnA kamizanara sAhebane maLavA gayA ane kayA gAmamAM vadhu takalIpho che ane jyAM loko phasAI gayA che tyAM madada kema pahoMcADavI? te badhAM mATe temano plAna jaNAvavA kIdhuM, kamizanara sAheba vidyArthinIonI AvI kAma karavAnI dhagaza joIne khUba khuza thayA ane amuka gAmomAM jIpa dvArA javAnuM ane kevI rIte lokomAM cIjavastuonI vaheMcaNI karavI te mATe Akho vyavasthita plAna banAvI dIdho. | basa pachI to badhI bahenoe kamara kasI. eka moTI kapaDAMnI bega banAvI; jemAM vAsaNanI tathA gharavakharInI badhI cIjo, thoDA kapaDAM, khAvA mATe anAjanI kothaLIo jemAM ghauM, dALa, kaThoLa, cokhA vagere anAjaM mUkyuM ane AvA ghaNAM pekeTo 300 chokarIonI sahAyatAthI taiyAra thaI gayA. A pekeTa mATe kharIdI paNa bahenoe jAte karI. pekIMga paNa jAte karyuM. A badho mAla-sAmAna jIpomAM laIne jyAM nadIomAM khUba pUra AvyA hatA, te gAmaDAomAM amo pahoMcI gayA ane lokone vyavasthita lAInamAM besADIne sArI rIte pekeTonI phALavaNI karI. .

Page #103
mArA anubhavo mane manamAM thaI gayuM ke jo A dazya chokarIonA mAtA-pitA najare jota to keTalA khuza thAta ane khUba garva anubhavata. A badhA dazyone kemerAmAM keda karIne khUba ja AnaMdathI gIto gAtI badhI baheno hosTelamAM ghare pAchA AvyA. A prasaMge badhI bahenoe bIjA mATe zubhabhAvathI kAma karavAnI preraNA ApI ane hosTelamAM AvatAveMta badhI bahenoe kAma khUba ja sarasa rIte pAra paDyuM teno jayajayakAra bolAvI badhAnA peTamAM bhUkhanA kurakuriyA bolatA hatA tethI bhojanagRhamAM doDyAM - jyAM khAsa jamavAmAM mIThAIne pharasANanI vAnagIo sahita garamAgarama bhojana taiyAra hatuM. A joIne badhI bahenono thAka palakamAM utarI gayo. A joIne mane evuM ja lAgyuM ke darekane sAruM kAma karavuM game che ane AvI taka maLe to badhA tene vadhAvI le che. jo AvA suMdara ane lokopayogI kAma ekavakhata zarU thAya che to jema A vRkSane poSaNa maLe che to pharI pAchA A vaTavRkSa upara mIThAM phaLa kema Ave che? te havenA dRSTAMtamAM ApaNe joI zakazuM. | nadInA pANInI honAratathI lokonA ghara ane anAja taNAI gayA tevA lokone samayasara rAhata ApI. Ama, phaMDanA paisAno sAro upayoga thayo, paNa haju eka javAbadArIne pUrI karavAnI bAkI hatI. je paropakArI bhAIoe A phaMDa mATe paisA ApyA hatA, te paisAnI pAIe pAIno sArA kAmamAM upayoga thAya e moTI javAbadArI haju amArAthI pUrI thaI zakI nahotI, kAraNa ke phaMDanA badhA paisA vaparAyA nahotA. tethI A vaparAyA vagaranA paisAnuM zuM karavuM? kayA sArA kAmamAM vAparavA? te koyaDo ukelavAno haju bAkI hato. jayAM sudhI A badhA paisA zubha kAmamAM

Page #104
= mArA anubhavo vaparAI na jAya tyAM sudhI mArA manamAM ucATa raheto. mArI AMkho A zubha kAryane zodhavA cAre tarapha pharatI hatI. koI vakhata AvuM zubha kArya karavAno vicAra paNa madadagAra banI jAya che ane prabhunI kRpA paNa evI varasI jAya che ke ApoApa saphaLatAno rasto sUjhI jAya che. AvuM paNa banI zake che eno mane sAkSAt anubhava thayo. - eka vakhata huM jhUMpaDapaTTI tarapha cakkara mAravA gaI hatI. tyAre eka jhUMpaDAmAM eka bALaka tAvamAM saNasaNatuM sUtuM hatuM. meM jhUMpaDAmAM ane cAre tarapha tapAsa karI paNa koI dekhAyuM nahIM. bALakanI pathArI pAse eka vAsaNamAM roTalo ane pANI paDyA hatA. A joIne huM evI duHkhI thaI gaI ke e sthaLane choDIne huM kyAMya jaI nA zakI. thoDIvAra pachI bALakanA mAtA-pitA AvyA. meM teone pUchayuM ke chokarAne Ama ekalo mUkIne tamo kyAM cAlyA gayA hatA? to te mAtA-pitAe tarata javAba Apyo ke bena, juo, A tamArA sAme A loTa amo lAvyA chIe. A dAtaNa kApyA ane te vecIne teno A loTa lIdho. have AnA roTalA banAvIne peTa bharIzuM. jo A dAMtaNa kApavA na javAya to bhUkhanA mAryA amo paNa bImAra thaI jaIe. Ama roja dAMtaNa kApIe ane loTa lAvIe tyAre amAruM peTa bharAya. teonI A samasyA paNa taddana sAcI hatI. huM kAMIpaNa bolI zakI nahIM paNa mAruM mana cakaDoLe caDI gayuM ke A samasyAno ukela kema lAvavo? divasa ane rAta huM rasto khoLavA mathatI hatI ane kharekhara prabhue ja A uklano sAco mArga batAvyo. sAcA hRdayanI prArthanA prabhu jarUra sAMbhaLe ja che Ano paNa mane sAkSAt anubhava thayo. 93

Page #105
- mArA anubhavo = pharI huM jhUMpaDapaTTI tarapha gaI ane tyAM tapAsa karI to thoDA sozIyala varka karavAvALA vidyArthIo mane maLI gayA. meM teo pAse mAro mUMjhavato prazna mUkyo ane kahyuM ke AnA ukela mATe je paNa paisA kharacavA haze te kharacazuM, paNa upAya batAvo. te bhAIoe kahyuM ke ahIM eka myunisipAliTIno kamyuniTI hola che, je ahIMnA lokonA vaparAza mATe ja banAvyo che teno upayoga karI zakAya. basa, Ama akasIra upAya maLI gayo. ame A holamAM eka nAnI prAthamika zALA UbhI karI dIdhI. eka sarasa majhAnA zikSaka jevA benane A kAma mATe pagAra ApIne nakkI karI lIdhA. A benanuM kAma e ke savAranA nava vAgyAthI mAMca vAgyA sudhI A bena A holamAM chokarAo mATe hAjara rahe ane teone sAcave. zarUAtamAM to eTaluM ja karavAnuM kahyuM ke je chokarAo Ave tene bAladInA pANIthI hAtha-moM vagere svaccha karAve ane pachI badhAMne vyavasthita besADIne nAnI ramato rame athavA koI nAnA gIto zIkhave ane Ama pAMca vAgyA sudhIno samaya A bALakone manoraMjana karAve ane koIpaNa bALakane kAMI zArIrika takalIpha hoya ke koIpaNa agavaDa hoya to mane jANa kare. amArA hosTelanI chokarIo je DokTaranuM bhaNe che teoe kahyuM ke koIpaNa chokarAne kAMIpaNa zArIrika takalIpha haze to amo tenI saMbhALa rAkhIzuM ane thoDA thoDA samaye temanuM zArIrika cekaapa paNa karIzuM. Ama, ATaluM to goThavAI gayuM. * pachI amoe jhUMpaDAmAM rahetA lokonI eka sabhA bolAvI ane A kAma karavA bAbata amAro uddeza zuM che te samajAvyuM ane tamArA | 94

Page #106
= mArA anubhavo bALako A kAryathI holamAM zikSikAbena pAse surakSita raheze ane cAre tarapha je rakhaDyA kare che te paNa badhuM baMdha thaI jaze. mA-bApo A sAMbhaLI khuza thaI gayA ane bIjA ja divasathI bAladI, pANInI mATalI, glAsa, TuvAla, besavAnI zetaraMjIo vagerenI vyavasthA thaI gaI ane eka benane A holanI sAphasUphI mATe tathA pANInI bAladI ane mATalImAM pIvAnuM pANI bharI lAve te mATe pagAra bAMdhIne kAma soMpI dIdhuM. A kAma divase divase khUbaja unnati karatuM gayuM. - bALakonI saMkhyA paNa vadhatI gaI ane vadhAre sAruM to e thayuM ke thoDA samaya pachI eka zikSikAbena sArA svabhAvavALA, paragaju ane bALako jene gamatA hatA tevA maLI gayA. A bene mane kahyuM ke, bena jo tamo blekaborDa, sleTa, pena ane thoDI nAnA bALakone game tevI ane bArAkhaDI zIkhavADI zakAya evI copaDIo lAvazo to A bALakone thoDuM zikSaNa paNa ApI zakAze. mAruM to A managamatI vAta sAMbhaLIne mana khuza thaI gayuM. tarata ja A badhI vyavasthA thaI gaI ane zikSikA benanI lagana ane zubha bhAvanA sAthe kAma zarU thaI gayuM. te jotajotAmAM bALako lakhatAM-vAMcatAM, eka ne eka be thAya evuM gaNita paNa zIkhavA mAMDyA. A badhuM joIne zikSikAbene mane kahyuM ke, ApaNe mA-bApanI miTIMga bolAvIe ane je bALako ghaNuM zIkhI gayA che e lokone myunisipAliTInI skUlamAM dAkhala karAvI daIe, jethI teonuM vyavasthita bhaNatara zarU thaI jAya. A vAta jevI mA-bApa sAthenI miTIMgamAM mUkI ke tarata ja mA-bApo khUba khuza thaI gayA ane kahevA 5

Page #107
= mArA anubhavo lAgyA ke A bALakone Ama bhaNAvavA mATe amArA pAse samaja paNa nahotI ane samaya paNa nahoto. Aje AvuM suMdara kAma tamoe amArA bALako mATe karyuM te mATe tamArA RNI chIe ane amArA bALakone skUlamAM dAkhala karAvatI vakhate je phI ApavI paDe che te amo ja ApazuM. tamone ApavA nahIM daIe. Ama, khumArIpUrvaka teoe potAnI pharaja batAvI dIdhI. dara paMdara divase zikSikAbena badhA bALakone pAse ja AvelA sayAjI bAgamAM sAMjanA sahelagAhe laI jAya. A mATe bAgamAM keLA, sIMgadANA, cevaDo, kyAreka vejITebala khIcaDI, kaDhI vagere laI jAya ne badhA bALako vyavasthita lAIna banAvIne jame. A mATe paNa bALakonA mA-bApa mArA pAse AvIne kahevA lAgyA ke bena, bAgamAM bALakone khAvA mATe nAsto amo ApIzuM ane A vAta tamo mAnazo to amo rAjI thazuM. A joIne mane thayuM ke A lokone paNa keTaluM badhuM svAbhimAna che! potAnA paga upara UbhA rahIne potAnA bALakone moTA karavA - A pharajane te keTalI badhI samasyA che ! A loko upara kAmano eTalo bojo che te chatAM paNa teo premathI javAbadArI nibhAve che ane hasatA hasatA AnaMdathI jIve che. *****

Page #108
mArA anubhavo samabhAva ratanabena ghaNA duHkhonI sAthe jIvatA hatA. kAramI garIbI, patinI bImArI ane saMtAnonI javAbadArI. jyAM hADalAmAM pUratuM bhojana nA hoya tyAM badhAnAM peTa pUrA kema bharAya? AvI peTa bharavAnI lhAyamAM ratanabena gharakAma karI paisA kamAvavA mATe gajA uparAMtanuM gharakAma karatA hatA. ratanabenanI AvI hAlata hovA chatAM bhagavAnanI temanA para kRpA hatI. temanA svabhAvamAM zAMti ane samaja khUba ja hatA. temane bhagavAna upara eTalI badhI zraddhA hatI ke teo kyAreya paNa A bAbate koIne doSa detA nahotA. potAnA kAmamAM eTalA parovAyelA rahetA ke duHkha tene asara karI zakatuM nahotuM. AjubAjunA traNa gharamAM kAma karatA, kAmano Dhagalo tenI sAme hAjara raheto paNa teo zAMtithI, svacchatApUrvaka A DhagalAne sApha karatA. badhA kahetA ke ratanabenanuM kAma eTaluM cokhkhuM che ke kAMI kahevAnuM ja nA rahe. AvI cokhkhAI ane pharaja tenA svabhAvamAM ja hatI. ratanabenane dharma upara khUba ja zraddhA hatI. potAnA duHkha jovAne badale teo bIjAnA duHkha jotA ane bhagavAnane prArthanA karatA ke badhAnuM duHkha dUra karajo. teone nAgadevatA upara khUba ja zraddhA hatI. dara nAgapaMcamIno teo upavAsanuM vrata karatA ane dararoja nAgadevatAnI pUjA karatA. teo niHsvArthabhAve A pUjA karatA. koI divasa potAne sukha maLe evuM teoe kadI mAgyuM nahotuM. basa, hRdayapUrvaka prArthanA karatA. 97

Page #109
= mArA anubhavo = ratanabena jayAM kAma karatA hatA te gharamAM zeThanA dIkarAno janmadivasa hato. bhojanamAM pAMca pakavAna ane vAnagIo bharelI mijabAnI hatI. ratanabena mATe Aje eka ja jagyAe kAmano Dhagalo hato. khUba mahemAno jamavAnA hatA. tethI rasoDuM, vAsaNo, saphAIkAma vagere khUbaja karavAnuM hatuM. nAgapAMcamano divasa hato tethI temane nAgapaMcamInuM eka vakhata jamavAnuM rAkhyuM hatuM. gharanA tathA badhA mahemAnonuM jamavAnuM pUruM thaI gayuM. vAsaNa, cokaDI, rasoDuM badhuM sApha karIne ratanabena jamavA mATe navarA thayA. savArathI kAMI khAdhuM nahotuM. tethI khUba ja bhUkhyA hatA. jamavAno samaya thayo. tethI khUba AnaMdathI jamavA beThA. Aje to nAgadevatAne bhAve evo dUdhapAkano prasAda jamavAmAM hato. tethI ratanabena khuza khuza hatA. nAgadevatAnI pUjA karI, zraddhApUrvaka namana karI teoe jamavA mATe vAnagIothI bharapUra vAsaNonuM DhAMkaNa kholyuM, badhuM thALImAM pIrasyuM ane dUdhapAkanuM vAsaNa jevuM kholyuM to tyAM joyuM ke dUdhapAkanuM vAsaNa taddana khAlI che. A joIne teo camakyA ke Ama kema banyuM ? dUdhapAkanuM vAsaNa khAlI kema che? thoDIvAra mATe Avo vicAra manamAM AvI gayo. paNa tarata ja nAgadevatA paranI zraddhAthI mana zAMta banI gayuM ane moMDhAmAMthI zabdo sarI paDyA ke, "he nAgadevatA! jeNe paNa A dUdhapAka khAdho hoya tenuM peTa ThArajo . A dUdhapAka khAvAthI mAruM peTa TharatuM tevuM ja bIjAnuM Tharajo." AvA saMtoSa ane premathI bharelA zabdo ApoApa temanA mukhamAMthI sarI paDyA. 98

Page #110
= mArA anubhavo - teone manamAM AnaMda e hato ke jeNe paNa khAdhuM haze tenuM peTa jarUra TharyuM haze ! Ama, bIjAnuM sukha temanA manane AnaMda ApI gayuM. A zabdo jevA ratanabena bolyA ke tarata ja ratanabena jenA bhakta hatA te nAgadevatA pragaTa thayA, ane khUba ja prasannatAthI ratanabenane kahyuM, "mApha karajo, tamArI parIkSA levA mATe huM dUdhapAka khAI gayo hato, paraMtu jevuM tame bolyA ke "khAnAranuM peTa Tharajo." A zabdo sAMbhaLI huM prasanna thaI gayo. tamArI mArA upara ATalI badhI zraddhA hatI te mane kema dekhAI nahIM? Aje huM tamArA pAse hArI gayo ane tamo parIkSA jItI gayA. Aje tamone varadAna ApuM chuM ke bhagavAna tamArI badhI icchA pUrI karaze." ratanabenanA jeNe paNa A dUdhapAka khAdho hoya tenuM peTa ThArajo - A zabdo dvArA temanA manamAM je samabhAva hato te pragaTa thAya che. 99

Page #111
mArA anubhavo samajI jaje" aMdarathI ja maLaze, bahAra ThAlA phAMphAM mAkhaNa chupAyuM dUdhamAM, chAzanA valoNAM. kathA khAlI kAnane aDake, sAmenA daravAjA khullAM ajavALAM ubhA bahAra, aMdara beThAM aMdhArAM, (kathA sAMbhaLI phUTyA kAma, toye nA AvyuM brahmanuM jJAna.) iAMTha vaLe che uparathI, nIce taLIyuM khAlI, mATInA lIMpaNamAM pharI vaLyAM che pANI. samajaNa zakti to sArI, kahuM chuM chAtI ThokI, nathI samajato e ja ke bheMse bhAgavat vAMcI. agharuM che samajavuM, jhAkaLanA bindune, bharavI che gAgaramAM dhasamasatI sindhane. khAlI DabbAne gabaDAvuM chuM, khoTo sikko khakhaDAvuM chuM, kANI tapelI bharose, kiMmatI samaya gumAvuM chuM. 100 | 100

Page #112
= mArA anubhavo jJAna-netranI pAMpaNa "baMdha che, sAcuM darzana kemanuM thAya? pATA bAMdhI bela ghANIno, bhavanA cakkara pharato jAya ! daMbha, dekhAva ne mAyAjALa, icchAono anero pahADa, kSaNa mAtramAM DhaLI paDaze, samayano temAM nahIM hisAba ! sAcI dizAnI pagadaMDI, laI jaze maMjila sudhI, jijJAsA jagADaze, sUkSmatAne samajavAnI. aMdaranA Atamane oLakhavA, daDha nizcaya dhArI, je naryuM sAcuM te pAmavuM che, "AcaraNa mAM utArI A sivAya koI Aro nathI, hiMmatathI AgaLa vadhaje, ' anubhava ja sAco sAthI, vagADaze viNA aMtaranI. - urmilA dhoLakiyA = = [ 201] = 101

Page #113
= mArA anubhavo samaya bhagavAna, tArA pAse ja che, cotarapha dharatI ane gaganamAM, jAga ane nirakha, tArA mAtA-pitAnA nayanamAM. levo che lhAvo tAre? to laI le atyAre, samayane oLakhaje, je nathI banyo koIno kyAreya. " -urmilA dhoLakiyA ** * 102

Page #114
=== == mArA anubhavo vAtsalya mArI dIkarIe potAnA hRdayanI lAgaNIne mArA janmadivasanI A bheTane protsAhana rUpe ApI che. pUjaya mA, My Hero, amerikAmAM rahyA pachI gujarAtI ane Englishvacce jholAM khAtI mArI bhASA mATe mAphI mAMgI lauM chuM. tArA 70 varSanI janmagAMThanA parve tane ghaNuM kahevA mAMguM chuM. Ma you are my hero. I am your great admiror ! mAre hiMmatavAna ane daSTAMtarUpa loko zodhavA khAsa dUra javAnI jarUra nathI paDI. tArI hiMmata, spirit ane optimism - AzAvAda mane jiMdagIbhara daSTAMtarUpa rahevAnA che. eno lAbha mArA TeNIyAone paNa maLyo che. sArA-narasA divasomAM ekalA hAthe jhajhUmI amane AvaDA moTA (ane AvaDA hoMziyAra - hA hA hA) karavAno jaza tane jAya che! Many Many Happy Returns of the Day HL. - UrvInA pAyalAgaNa 103

Page #115
= mArA anubhavo = = II jiMdagI | kevI adbhuta che jiMdagInI pyAlI, kyAreka bharelI to kyAreka khAlI. utAra caDhAvanA A kevA trAjavA. banAve koIne nyAyI yA anyAyI. jagata dIsatuM ghaDImAM, halakuM yA bhArI, tArA hAthamAM, jIvana jIvavAnI cAvI. sukhaduHkha to samudranA taraMgo che, pachaDATa khAIne bhI, jItaje tuM bAjI! aMdhArA ajavALAM jatA raheze AvIne, samayanI copATane, ramI le, samajIne ! dUra sarI jatI, amUlya takane jhaDapI leje, hiMmatanI nAvaDInAM saDhane, basa, kholI deje ! parama brahmamAM lIna thaIne, paMDane tuM samajaje, jIvana saritAne kinAre bhajana kIrtana karaje. divasa uge ne Athame che, paNa tuM nathI Athamato, AtmAnA A jJAnavaibhavane, jaladIthI oLakhaje. - urmilA dhoLakiyA ke --- 104

Page #116
= mArA anubhavo "Choice is Yours" (1) Without I, my, mine, Every thing is fine. As ego gone, happiness is born. Mind is pure, Truth comes sure, Knowledge gives light, All will be right. Life is duty, full of beauty, (3) Good opportunity, god has given, Choice is yours, hell or heaven. ; (4) Life is flowing, with full of challenge, choice is yours, freindship or revenge. (5) Good thinking, brings true power, If clouds are there, should be shower. . (6) .. Time has value in life, as husband with wife, . Parents love each other, family grows better. 105 204

Page #117
HIRI ZAG) = (7) Children learns Love, Knowledge, Culture, Bread becomes tasty, full of butter. (8) Family is a sweet home, place of rest, (9) Choice is yours, make just O.K. or the best. God is with you, giving pure Love, Choice is yours, take it or give up. - Urmila Dholakia ***** 106 205 --

Page #118
parama kRpALu deva zrImad rAjacaMdra parama tattvajJa zrImad rAjacaMdrajI