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[9] Pratikraman in Varying Situations
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Pratikraman
even when he does not ask for forgiveness. What should I do if he keeps doing the same thing over and over again?
Dadashri: Try as best as you can to explain to him in a loving, gentle manner. There is no other solution (upaya) for it and you do not have any authority and power (satta) over the matter. You have no choice other than to forgive him. If you do not, then you will end up doing so after some more suffering. There is no other solution. You have to make him understand and make him see his mistakes. If he changes his internal intent and recognizes that it is wrong for him to hurt you, your work is done.
because we did atikraman. So if we have hurt the other person because of our atikraman, is that why we do pratikraman?
Dadashri: Yes, for that very reason. There is no other reason. Now 'You', the Self do not have anything to do with him anymore. Now You no longer have any worldly dealings with him. All You have to do is make sure that he (the relative self) does not hurt anyone. You have to tell whoever the culprit is to do pratikraman. The Shuddhatma has nothing to clean. All that has been done. Questioner: But will we not do such atikraman again?
(184) Dadashri: It is not that it will not occur again... but atikraman is a discharge (effect of past causes), so it will be there. Only those that are there will come out. The question of whether 'atikraman should occur or not' does not even arise. Whenever you feel that atikraman has occurred, then make him do pratikraman. If no arikraman is taking place, then you have to simply continue "seeing the discharge, nothing else.
Questioner: I have a relative who makes so many mistakes, so many blunders, that even God would not forgive him. And then he asks me to forgive him; he keeps on saying, "I made a mistake. I made a mistake.' So what should a man do?
Dadashri: Man has to grant forgiveness, God cannot grant forgiveness. God has a weakness. (!) Humans are shrewd. Because eventually God (nature) will take complete revenge, then forgiveness will be granted. God is going to punish him for sure. You do not want to take revenge. You will forgive him; therefore say, 'May everything work out well for you.'
The Problem of Recurrent Mistakes
Questioner: Someone does something that hurts me and then he asks for forgiveness; I forgive him. I forgive him internally
If he changes his inner intent to that he does not want to make the same mistake, and it still occurs, that is a different matter. If a man decides that he does not want to make any more mistakes and ends up making them, then it is a different matter. But if he says he wants to keep on doing it, then there is no end to it. That means he is on the wrong track. But after deciding he does not want to make mistakes again, if he repents his mistakes, then there is no problem if that mistake occurs again. Even when he decides he is not going to repeat it and he repents it, then if the mistake occurs again, he should repent again.
What is the reason for this? This is because there are many layers to a mistake, like those of an onion. A laver will go away by repenting, but another layer will surface. So the onion will look the same. It will all come to an end when all the layers go away; it will not occur until then. One has made countless mistakes for countless lives. Maintain Your Love Despite Their Mistakes
Questioner: What if he is not even aware that he is making mistakes, and continues doing so? What if he does not even repent?
Dadashri: Then it is meaningless, is it not? It is meaningless
