Generation Gap

Author(s): Dada Bhagwan
Publisher: Dada Bhagwan Foundation

Page 15

praise, when everything they have done and are doing is mandatory and obligatory?
A man was upset with his son because he had incurred a large debt from paying for his son's education. He kept complaining and reminding his son that he had taken out a loan to pay for his education and that if it hadn't been for him, his son would be nowhere. So I rebuked him and told him that he should not say such things and that whatever he did for his son was all mandatory. His son was wise but the man himself was lacking in commonsense and understanding. (P.30)
You should do everything for your children. But, some parents do not stop, even when their children tell them that they have done enough. Understand that it is a signal for you to stop when the children themselves tell you so.
A day will come when your son may want to start a business and you should help him. It would not be wise for you to get too involved in his business. He may even get a job, in which case he may not need your help. Then you should keep aside whatever money you had planned to give him. If he runs into any difficulties, you should give him some money. But, if you keep interfering with his life, it may aggravate him and force him to tell you to stay out of his business. Some fathers take this to mean that his son is not mature and that he does not know what he says. I tell the fathers they should consider themselves blessed for becoming free from this responsibility.
Questioner: What is the right thing to do? Should we still take care of our children or should we come to satsang for our own spiritual growth?
Dadashri: The children are already being taken care of, so what more can you do? Your goal now should be your own salvation. These children are already being cared for. Are you the one responsible for making them grow? Does the rosebush that you have planted also not grow in the night? Similarly the children too grow by themselves. You think the roses are yours, but the rose is its own entity. It belongs to no one. People act according to their own selfish motives and insecurities. Right now you are taking credit for everything you do and that is your ego.
Questioner: If we do not water the rosebush, it will wither
away.
Dadashri: It will not come to that for sure. In fact your child will demand your attention if you do not give it to him. He may even throw tantrums. (P.39)
How is it possible to keep a balance between your duties towards the worldly life and your spiritual progress? You should not neglect your duties. You are to fulfill your obligations, even if your son speaks to you rudely and is disrespectful towards you. What are your duties as a parent? Your duty as a