Generation Gap

Author(s): Dada Bhagwan
Publisher: Dada Bhagwan Foundation

Page 36

also gets annoyed in response?
Dadashri: Then the son binds demerit karma. In the kramic path,the traditional spiritual path, if the Gnani Purush were to become annoyed with his disciple, he would bind the greatest of merit karma. This merit karma is called punyanubandhi punya (good karma which leads to greater good karma). His annoyance is not in vain. These are not his children, he has nothing to do with them and yet he is concerned about their welfare and so he scolds them.
Here we do not reprimand anyone at all. When children are reprimanded, they will not tell the truth and they will learn to hide things. This is how deception arises in the world. There is no need to reprimand anyone in this world. If your son comes home from watching a movie and you tell him off, the next time he wants to go to a movie, he will make up an alibi. If a mother is too strict, her children will not know how to interact with others. (P.188)
Questioner: I scold my children when they eat too many chocolates and drink a lot of Pepsi.
Dadashri: Why do you need to scold them? Just explain to them how unhealthy it is for them to eat too many chocolates and drink too much Pepsi. Does anyone scold you?
This is false assertion of your ego as a mother. You do not
know how to be a good mother and yet you keep yelling at them unnecessarily. You would realize this if your own motherin-law were to scold you. The children will feel that their mother is worse than a mother-in-law. So stop scolding your children. You can talk to them gently and explain to them that they will ruin their health if they eat the way they do. (P.191)
If your child is doing something wrong, you do not have to keep on at him all the time. What happens if you do? I once saw someone thrashing his child as though he were a washing rag. What kind of a father puts his child through such abuse? Does he have any idea what the child is thinking from within? He cannot tolerate such abuse so he vows to himself that he will get even with the father when he grows up. And then he treats his father and the son in exactly the same way when he is older (P.196)
No one in the world improves through physical or verbal abuse. They benefit from being shown the right way to act. (P.199)
There was a man who would come home late every night. What he did outside the home is not suitable to mention. The rest of the family was at a loss as to whether to reprimand him or throw him out of the house. When his older brother tried to talk to him, he threatened to kill him. His family came to me for advice. I told them not to say anything to him or else he would react adversely. And if they were to throw him out of the house, he would turn into a criminal. I told them to let him