Generation Gap

Author(s): Dada Bhagwan
Publisher: Dada Bhagwan Foundation

Page 68

war between India and Pakistan. Everyone in a marriage seems to be at war. This brings misery into their lives.
an impact on her husband. He would be impressed at her ability to remain calm and collected. He would lose the battle.
I explained to her that in order to win her husband over, if he created any conflicts, she should try to resolve them. She should remain calm and not lose her temper. Even if he tried to create differences between the two of them, she should act as though they both were one. All these relationships are relative relationships; they are temporary and if both the parties end up tearing things, the marriage would end up in a divorce.
She followed my advice and acted on it. When one prepares to win a battle, they lose their inner energies. I never prepare for any battles. You might feel that in demonstrating your strength you are winning, but in fact, you are really losing your inner energies and strength of character. If you lose this, your husband will not value you at all. She understood this well and promised that she would never fight with him.
If someone is preparing to fight with you, and if you get ready to retaliate, your strength of character will break. No matter how much someone tries to provoke you into a fight, if you do not respond to him, he will loose.
Masroor asked me what she should do. I told her that she should act according to his moods. If he is in a bad mood, she should instead talk to the Lord within him, and when his mood changes, then she can talk to him directly. If he were to say something hurtful to her, she should remain silent. She should see him as innocent. He acts according to the forces of his past karmas; in reality he is not the doer. Love is tolerance and adjustments. Love should be true. Feeble love will last only a short while. I told her that under no circumstances should she retaliate. Instead she should just remember 'Dada' and pray to Him for strength.
If you prepare to retaliate, you will be pulled into his trap. So many people have tried to thwart me but they have lost at their own game, because I never think about retaliation. When you even think about retaliation, you will lose your strength of character.
Masroor accepted everything. I told her that she should deal with her mother-in-law in the same way. I explained to her what strength of character is: Whenever her husband yelled at her, if she remained silent and calmly observed what was happening, her character would strengthen and it would have
A shilvan person is someone who remains calm in all adversities. If someone tries to harm a shilvan person, he would not be able to do so. The moment the aggressor sees his face; he would lose his nerve to do harm. Such is the impact of a shilvan. If you prepare to retaliate in any situation, you will lose your shil, inner strength. Let others do whatever they wish.