Generation Gap

Author(s): Dada Bhagwan
Publisher: Dada Bhagwan Foundation

Page 38

If you do, he may even shoot you. (P.225)
soundly, the father lies awake all night tormented by worries. (P. 222)
A daughter-in-law thinking that her father-in-law is in another room and cannot hear her, tells her friend, 'My father-in-law is not very intelligent'. Now he just happens to overhear her comment and it becomes a source of ailment for him. How should he tackle this situation? He should just consider that had he been elsewhere in the house, he would not have heard her and her comment would not cause him to become sick, and therefore this was a sickness of error. So all he has to do is break the error. All he has to do is to assume that he was sitting further away and that he did no hear anything. This way the mistake is destroyed.
I am saying that one should not give advice unless it is asked for. If someone asks you, then you should give him advice according to what you think is right, but you should also tell him that he is free to do whatever he deems right for him and that you are merely making a suggestion In this way you will do what you have to, without hurting his feelings. Say whatever you need to tell him, but do so with humility and respect for him.
People used to gossip even about Lord Mahavir. People can say whatever they want, but you should destroy your mistakes. People will say whatever they please, but know that it is only because of your own karma that they are able to speak this way about you. (P. 223)
In this day and age, it is better to speak sparingly. In this day and age people's speech is harsh and abrasive. The words hurt like rocks and so it is better to speak as little as possible. It is not worth saying anything to anyone; in fact we make things worse. People will always act contrary to what they are told. Everything will run smoothly even in your absence. All this is nothing but your ego. The day you stop arguing and nagging at your children, they will begin to improve. It is because your words do not come out right that they get aggravated. They do not embrace your words, but simply throw them back at you. You have to fulfill your duties as a parent and provide for them, but you cannot say anything to them. There is no benefit in you telling them anything. Are you able to come to this conclusion? Now they are all grown up, it is not as if they are going to fall down the stairs. Why are you compromising your spiritual progress? It is not worth expending all your efforts on your children. Instead of fighting with your children, the results
Once the ego becomes established in a child, you can no longer say anything to him. He will learn from his own mistakes. You can only discipline children until they are five years old. And between the ages of five to sixteen years, you may occasionally have to scold them. But when they reach the age of twenty, you cannot say anything to them. You cannot utter even a single word of admonishment. It is a mistake to do so.