Generation Gap

Author(s): Dada Bhagwan
Publisher: Dada Bhagwan Foundation

Page 23

Questioner: You have said that after our children turn sixteen we should become their friends. Why not become friends much earlier?
Some people greet me casually, while others heartily express their fondness and call me Dada. I have devised a way to reciprocate their feelings by balancing it out. When they address me as Dada, I would simultaneously in my mind, think of them as Dada, thus I would balance it out. Once I began to do this, I felt better. I felt lighter and people were more attracted towards me.
Dadashri: That would be very good, but you cannot be friends with them until they reach the age of ten or eleven. Until then, they may make mistakes and you will have to guide them and even discipline them if necessary. Those who have tried to exercise their authority as parents have failed miserably. (P.100)
If I think of them as Dada, my words reach them and they feel delighted by the love and concern they receive from me. This is indeed a very subtle and important matter, which is worth understanding. You are fortunate to get this. If you can manage to do the same, it will be to your benefit (P.103)
Every parent should make an effort to better his child, but these efforts should be fruitful. Although you have become a father, are you willing to relinquish that authority in order to improve your child? Can you give up your belief that you are his father?
Questioner: The father wonders why his child does not adjust to him.
Questioner: If there is scope for improvement, all attempts to improve him must be made without any ego, a sense of 'doership' or abhorrence.
Dadashri: That is because he continues to assert his authority as a father. This is wrong. The belief of fatherhood in itself is false. The belief that one is a husband is also wrong.
Dadashri: You have to let go of the sense and feeling that you are his father.
Questioner: Moreover, the father will assert his fatherhood by telling his children that he is their father and they should respect this fact.
Questioner: Am I to believe that he is not my son and I am not his father?
Dadashri: That would be the best thing. (P.101)
Dadashri: I overheard a man yelling at his child, "Don't you know, I am your father?” What sort of a madman says such a thing? Does he even need to say that? The whole world knows