Aptavani 06

Author(s): Dada Bhagwan
Publisher: Mahavideh Foundation

Page 29

Aptavani-6
Aptavani-6
Protection of the Ego Questioner: You said that speech comes out through the ego.
Dadashri: It is like this - there is nothing wrong with speaking, speech is a code word. It gets expressed and the sounds come out, but you should not protect or defend (rakshan) speech.
Dadashri: One has not improved himself and he tries to improve others - instead it only leads to the other person becoming spoiled even more. The moment one tries to improve the other person, the other person becomes worse. What happens when the one trying to improve others is spoiled himself? The easiest thing is to improve the self. If you haven't improved yourself and you try to improve others, then it is meaningless. Until you improve yourself, your words will fall on deaf ears and bounce back; if you say, “Don't do it like this," then the other person will say, "Go away. I will do it exactly like that!" You have just made him worse!
Questioner: Does not protecting speech' mean that one should not feel, 'I am right in what I said?
Dadashri: 'I am right' is the protection (rakshan). There is nothing wrong if there is no protection. It will not hurt anyone. When you protect your ego, then it hurts the other person.
A little child will not feel hurt even if I were to spank him a lot, but if you were to merely tap him in anger it will make him cry profusely. Therefore, the child does not get upset because of physical pain but because his ego is hurt.
The scripture writers have said that the ego is such an attribute that it makes everyone completely blind. It creates enmity even among brothers. It will make one think and wish for financial ruin of his own brother, even a father will wish that his son be reduced to nothing. What damage can the ego not do? Therefore, one should recognize and understand, 'What is the significance of this ego within, as far as my welfare is concerned?'
Questioner: But do we not need the ego to do our work?
There is no need for ego in this at all. If you try to get your work done through ego and intimidation, the other person will get even more aggravated. People will always be sincere to the one who does not have an ego; there is morality with such a one.
We should not have ego; it hurts everyone. Even a small child will become obstinate if you call him 'stupid' or 'senseless' or an idiot'! But if you tell him, "Son, you are a very good boy, he will immediately do what you ask of him.
Questioner: And if we praise him excessively with, "You are very smart," then will he also become spoiled?
Dadashri: Whether we call him stupid or smart, either way he will get spoiled. The reason we call him 'smart' is so his
ego gets encouragement; and if we call him 'stupid' then it will have a reverse psychological effect on him. If you tell a good person he is foolish and mad fifty times or so, then he will begin to doubt himself, "Maybe I really am foolish!' In thinking this way, he will become mad. That is why I give encouragement even to a mad person by telling him, "Nobody in this world is as good and wise as you are.' Always take the positive in this world. Do not go towards the negative. There is a solution (upaya) for the positive. If I tell you that you are smart, and if
Dadashri: The ego to do the work is always there. Who says no to that ego? But you should recognize and have the understanding of the ego that has caused so much havoc and thereafter you will have no attraction or love for it.
Questioner: What should I do when the other person does not improve, no matter how hard I try?