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whereas the 'wedge' in others is straight. The one with a straight *wedge' will be able to remove it easily himself, whereas the one with a crooked one, no matter which way he pulls, it will not come out. Our 'wedge' was straight and it dislodged instantly. 'We' know no crooked ways or deceit. 'Ours' was absolutely open and clear! Whereas you, you might have learned some crookedness and deceit. Although you come from a good family, what can you do when some of the crookedness set in during your childhood? If a nail is crooked, then it will take strength and time to remove.
Women by nature have some deceit (kapat) within. They are not straightforward within, which is the reason why they have become female in this life. Now, after attaining the Self, there is no such thing as the female gender, is there? But because the 'nails' are crooked, removing them takes time, does it not? It wouldn't take much time if they were in straight! The men are naïve and straightforward (bhoda). A woman can easily convince a man, and she will know it too. She will know that she has convinced him so now he will go out. A slight deceit (kapat) resulted in Tirthankara Mallinath to be born as a woman in the final life! This happened even though deception occurred naturally and spontaneously! Deceit (kapat) will not spare anyone! After attaining Self-realization, one is no longer a male or a female. One has become Shuddhatma!
The Influence of Wrong Company
Despite not having the desire, a man goes out and inevitably falls into bad company (kusang); one is never immune from the influence of bad company. Many people claim that in spite of being in the company of people who drink alcohol, they will never drink. But from the very start of moving in such company, they begin to drink. The nature of any interaction or association cannot refrain from painting its true colors on you. So abandon such company.
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In fact, the pratiti, the conviction of the pure Self, has really occurred within you, but bad company (kusang) and its effects prevents the taste of true experience (anubhav) from coming through.
The real test comes when someone at home becomes angry and you react in anger too; then you should realize that you still have weakness.
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