Aantardwand

Author(s): Parmatmaprakash Bharilla
Publisher: Hukamchand Bharilla Charitable Trust
Catalog link: https://jainqq.org/explore/002294/1

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o tel paramAtmaprakAzabhArilla

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5 hajAra 3 hajAra prathama saMskaraNa : (1 maI 2004) dvitIya saMskaraNa : (18 sitambara, 2004) dazalakSaNa mahAparva ke avasara tRtIya saMskaraNa : (16 apraila, 2011) mahAvIra jayantI 3 hajAra kula yoga : 11 hajAra mUlya : chaha rupaye prApti sthAna : zrI ToDaramala smAraka bhavana e-4, bApUnagara, jayapura-302015 mudraka : san ena san presa tilaka nagara, jayapura

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antardvanda ( lakSyahIna jIvana kI visaMgatiyoM ko rekhAMkita karate hue sArthaka jIvana jIne kI kalA prastuta karatA huA sazakta cintana ) lekhaka : paramAtmaprakAza bhArilla prakAzaka : DaoN. hukamacanda bhArilla cairiTebala TrasTa 304, sanaphlaiza, riSi kAmplaiksa, holIkrAsa roDa AI. sI. kaoNlonI, vorIvalI (vaisTa) mumbaI - 400103

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prakAzakIya prastuta 'antardvanda' kRti ke mAdhyama se lekhaka ne eka pacahattara varSIya vRddha vyakti ke mana-mastiSka meM hote svAbhAvika antardvanda kA sazakta citraNa kiyA hai| ___ kathAnaka kI 'cintanadhArAyeM eka hI vyakti ke vividha vicAroM ke AdhAra para aneka rUpoM meM sahaja pravAhita huIM haiN| eka pAtrIya prastuta kathAnaka kA nAyaka sAThottara avasthA meM svAdhyAya karatA pratIta hotA hai; kyoMki usase apane yauvanAvasthA meM jo AparAdhika kAma hue haiM, unakA use pazcAtApa hai| khAna-pAna meM AcAra-vicAra meM apane hitAhita ke prati aba sajaga pratIta hotA hai| ___jaba vaha 75 varSIya bRddha putroM ke sahayoga dene kI bhAvanA se dukAna jAtA hai, ghara meM nAtI-potoM ko saMskAra denA cAhatA hai to janarezana gepa (pIr3hiyoM ke antara) ke kAraNa vaha usameM bhI saphala nahIM hotA aura parivAra se upekSA kA anubhava karatA hai| vaha socatA hai ki maiMne jinake lie ye saba pApa kie haiM; ve hI aba mujhe saThayAnA samajhate haiN| mAtra bar3e hone se sammAna aura suvidhAyeM juTAkara zravaNakumAra bananA cAhate haiN| jisa zArIrika svAsthya ke lie maiMne bhakSyAbhakSya kA viveka nahIM rakhA; aba vaha bhI javAba dene lagA hai; parantu .... / 'aba pachatAye kyA hota hai, jaba cir3iyA cuga gaI khet'| jaba use apane pUrvakRta Arta-raudradhyAna, svArthI bhAvanA aura anaitika kAryoM kA dhyAna AtA hai to usake roMgaTe khar3e ho jAte haiN| aisI paristhiti vAle logoM . ke lie lekhaka ne yaha saMketa die haiM ki bhUta ko bhUlo aura vartamAna ko saMbhAlo, bhaviSya svataH saMbhala jAyegA, nirAza hone kI AvazyakatA nhiiN| jisataraha ghAsa ko jalAne ke lie eka cingArI kAphI hai, usIprakAra pUrva pApapuMja ko bhasma karane ke lie samyagjJAna kI eka cingArI paryApta hai| yaha eka vyakti kI bAta nahIM; apitu sabhI sAThottaroM kI samasyAyeM haiN| isa kRti dvArA lekhaka ne bahuta hI sarala subodha zailI meM dizAbodha dene kA saphala prayAsa kiyA hai, etadartha lekhaka nizcaya hI prazaMsA kA pAtra hai| prastuta kRti ko prakAzita karake hamArA TrasTa gauravAnvita hai| TrasTa kA saMkSipta paricaya kavara pRSTha 3 para hai| pustaka ke AkarSaka kavara evaM mudraNa vyavasthA meM akhila baMsala, jayapura ke athaka parizrama aura sUjha-bUjha ke lie dhanyavAdAha haiM; etadartha TrasTa unakA AbhArI hai| - paNDita ratanacanda bhArilla

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apanI bAta bIte hue jIvana ke anekAneka pahaluoM ko jAna lene, dekha lene va jI lene ke bAda; Aja ye vicAra mujhe aksara parezAna kie rahate haiM ki kAza! jIvana kI ina saccAiyoM ko maiM pahale hI jAna sakA hotA to maiMne apanA bItA jIvana isataraha nahIM jiyA hotA, merI jIvana praNAlI kucha aura hI hotii| ___ kabhI-kabhI socatA hU~ ki - kAza ! jIvana do bAra jIne ko milatA; eka bAra sIkhane ke lie, anubhava lene ke lie, TrAyala karane ke lie va phira dUsarI bAra pUrI taraha jIne ke lie; para yaha to kalpanAloka kI ur3Ana hai, yathArtha jIvana meM to yaha sambhava nahIM hai| - jo ho cukA hai, usameM to parivartana sambhava nahIM hai; para aba kyoM na bAkI bace bhAvI jIvana ke bAre meM yaha prayoga kiyA jAve ? auroM ke jIvana ko par3hakara, use AtmasAta kara, vibhinna avasthAoM va paristhitiyoM ko, unake ahasAsoM ko kalpanA ke dharAtala para hI svayaM jIkara, kyoM na apanI paristhitiyoM ke anukUla, apanI ruci ke anukUla, apanI AvazyakatA ke anukUla, apanI bhAvI jIvana zailI kI yojanA taiyAra kI jAve; tAki phira kabhI yaha sadamA na bhoganA par3e ki - kAza! pahale mAlUma hotA, maiM pahale hI yaha saccAI samajha pAyA hotA! ____ apanI isa yojanA ke anurUpa jaba maiMne niSkarSa nikAlane ke lie cintana ke stara para jIvana kA vizleSaNa prArambha kiyA to kucha hI dinoM meM burI taraha bhramita (kanphyUjDa) ho gayA; kyoMki anekoM ahasAsa va anekoM vikalpa (Alternatives) Apasa meM hI TakarAne lage aura cintana vyavasthita nahIM ho paayaa| taba maiMne apane cintana ko vyavasthita banAye rakhane ke lie lekhanI kA sahArA lene kA nizcaya kara liyaa| ___isataraha isa lekhana kA prArambha Apa sabhI ke lie va kisI anya ke lie nahIM, varan svAntaHsukhAya hI ho gayA thA; para Aja Apa sabhI ke samakSa yaha svIkAra karane meM mujhe koI hicaka nahIM hai ki jaba maiM likhane baiThA to apane nagna ahasAsoM va cintana ke prati ImAnadAra na raha sakA; kyoMki maiM acchI taraha jAnatA -- antardvanda/iii -

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hU~ ki likhita viSayavastu anantakAla taka mAtra vyaktigata sampatti banakara nahIM raha sakatI, eka na eka dina to vaha sArvajanika ho hI jAvegI aura taba maiM mAtra vahI likha pAyA jina manobhAvoM ke prakaTa ho jAne meM mujhe koI saMkoca na thaa| isI ke sAtha mere andara prasupta sAhityikatA ke kITANu sakriya ho gaye aura isataraha merA cintana eka kRti kA rUpa lene lgaa| jaba mAtra svayaM ke lie, sirpha socatA hI thA, taba cintana AdhA-adhUrA banA rahatA thA, na jAne vicAroM kI zrRMkhalA cintana ke kisa bindu se prArambha hotI va kahA~ TUTa jAtI, usakA na koI ora thA na chora; para jaba likhanA prArambha kiyA to AvazyakatA mahasUsa huI ki cintana vyavasthita va sampUrNa honA Avazyaka hai| udhara dUsarI ora eka samAnAntara cintana mere mastiSka meM calA karatA thA ki sAmAnya zrAvaka se sAdhakadazA kA vikAsa eka prAkRtika va svAbhAvika prakriyA hai, jo antaraMga vRttiyoM va pariNAmoM kI vizuddhi ke samAnAntara bAhya jIvana meM bhI svayameva hI AkAra le letA hai, Upara se kucha bhI or3hane kI AvazyakatA nahIM hotI, Upara se or3hA huA AcaraNa to bAhya paridhAna (vastrAdi) kI bhAMti bojhila hI hotA hai| isa svAbhAvika vikAsa ko rekhAMkita karate hue eka caritra kI racanA karanA merI cirasaMcita abhilASA thI hI, so maiMne apane ina donoM vicAroM ko ekameka karake prastuta karane kA nizcaya kiyA va samakita' zIrSaka se eka kathAnaka kI racanA prArambha kara dii| ukta racanA kucha samaya taka kramika rUpa se 'jainapathapradarzaka' pAkSika meM prakAzita bhI hotI rahI, para usa kathAnaka ke vikAsa se maiM svayaM saMtuSTa nahIM thA; ataH use bIca meM hI roka denA pdd'aa| usI racanA ko punaH naye rUpa meM kucha parivartana-parivardhana ke sAtha likhanA prArambha kiyaa| abhI, 30-40 peja hI likha pAyA thA ki prasaMgavaza dAdA kA bambaI Agamana huA aura maiMne yaha racanA par3hakara unheM sunaaii| abataka aise avasaroM para pratikriyA vihIna cuppI sAdhe rahanevAle dAdA (mere pUjya pitAzrI DaoN. hukamacandajI bhArilla) isa bAra yU~ to cupa hI rahe; para merI DAyarI ke prathama pRSTha para nimnAMkita saMskRta zloka artha sahita likha diyA - apanI bAta/iv

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prArambhate na khalu vighnabhayeNa niicaiH| prArambha vighnavihitA viramanti mdhyaa| vighnaH punapunarapi prtihnymaanaa| prArambhamuttamajanAH na parityanti // nimna zreNI ke loga vighnoM ke bhaya se mahAna kArya Arambha hI nahIM karate aura madhyama zreNI ke loga mahAna kArya Arambha to kara dete haiM, kintu vighnoM ke Ane para unheM bIca meM hI chor3a dete haiM; parantu uttama zreNI ke loga mahAna kArya na kevala Arambha karate haiM, apitu bAra-bAra vighnoM ke Ane para bhI, unheM chor3ate nahIM haiN| unheM pUrNa karake hI mAnate haiN| - hastAkSara 2.5.2000 ___ yadyapi dAdA ne mukha se to kucha kahA nahIM thA, para yaha likhakara kyA-kyA nahIM kaha diyA thA ? ise maiMne AzIrvAda, preraNA va Adeza ke rUpa meM svIkAra kiyaa| kucha cintana kA AdhA-adhUrApana kaheM va kucha vyAvasAyika vyastatA, yaha lekhana kArya kucha kAla to calA, para bahuta Age bar3ha na sakA; taba mere mana meM vicAra AyA ki kyoM na isa racanA ke kathya ko, mUla viSayavastu ko atyanta saMkSepa meM, eka rUparekhA ke rUpa meM hI prakAzita karake pAThakoM ke samakSa prastuta kara diyA jAve, zAyada unakI pratikriyAyeM, sujhAva, preraNA va Agraha zeSa kArya svayaM hI mujhase karA leveN| ___ise truTihIna va paripUrNa banAne kA vikalpa kahIM isa kArya ko eka bAra punaH lambita na kara de, isa bhaya se apane svabhAva ke sarvathA viparIta jaldabAjI meM yaha kRti apane isa vartamAna rUpa meM "jahA~ hai, jaisA hai" (As it is, where it is) ke AdhAra para Apake samakSa prastuta hai| apane isa jIvana ke prati hamArA dRSTikoNa kaisA honA cAhie, ukta viSaya meM mAtra kucha hI pahaluoM para kucha sUtrAtmaka, saMkSipta vicAra isa pustikA meM prastuta kie gae haiN| ukta vicAroM ko mAtra par3ha lenA va jAna lenA paryApta nahIM hai| AvazyakatA hai ina para hara dRSTikoNa se dUragAmI vicAra karake inheM apane jIvana meM apanAne kI, apane jIvana ko ukta vicAroM ke anurUpa DhAlane kI; apane jIvana kA zilpI svayaM banane kii| antardvanda/v

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hamArA jIvana mAtra eka anagar3he patthara kI taraha veDola na raha jAve, balki eka Adarza zilpa bana sake - isake lie AvazyakatA hai eka atyanta hI kuzala zilpI kI aura apane svayaM ke lie vaha 'zilpI' koI anya nahIM ho sakatA; kyoMki zilpa meM jo kucha bhI abhivyakta hotA hai, vaha zilpI kA apanA dRSTikoNa hotA hai, usakI apanI parikalpanA hotI hai| hameM apane Apako jisa rUpa meM DhAlanA hai, vaha kisI anya kI parikalpanA nahIM, varan hamArA apanA svapna hai, hamArA apanA svapna honA cAhie aura isalie hameM apanA zilpI svayaM hI bananA hogaa| __yadi apane Apako gar3hane ke lie hama kisI anya para nirbhara raheM to usakA pariNAma kyA A sakatA hai ? isakI kalpanA isa tathya se bhalIbhA~ti kI jA sakatI hai ki isa pRthvI para ananta patthara vidyamAna haiM, ve Aja taka anagar3he hI par3e haiN| yadi unameM se eka atyanta nagaNya-sA bhAga kisI ne gar3ha bhI diyA hai to unakA kyA rUpa bana par3A hai, vaha hamAre Apake sAmane hai| kyA vaha saba hamArI AzA-AkAMkSA ke anurUpa hai ? kyA hama una sabhI ko pasanda kara pAte haiM ? kyA hameM una sabhI meM kucha na kucha kamiyA~ dikhAI nahIM detI ? yadi hama kisI anya ke dvArA nirmita kisI bhI kRti ko pasanda nahIM karate to phira bhalA hama apane Apako gar3he jAne ke lie kisake havAle kara deM ? isalie yadi hama apane jIvana ko apanI svayaM kI parikalpanA ke anurUpa eka Adarza zilpa banAnA cAhate haiM to hameM apanA zilpI svayaM hI bananA hogaa| jisaprakAra eka zilpa ke nirmANa ke lie, eka mUrti ke nirmANa ke lie kisI Adarza pratikRti kA sarasarI taura para mAtra avalokana (dekhanA) paryApta nahIM hai; usakA sUkSma nirIkSaNa karanA hotA hai| pratyeka aMga-upAMga kI saMracanA va AkAra-prakAra ke bAre meM sUkSmatama jAnakArI prApta karanI hotI hai, unakI mApajokha karanI hotI hai; phira patthara ko gar3hane kA gaharA abhyAsa karanA hotA hai| ina saba vidhiyoM meM pAraMgata hone ke bAda saba kucha chor3akara juTa jAnA hotA hai, apane kArya meM ahirniza (dina-rAta); taba kArya saphala hotA hai| ___ usIprakAra yadi hama apane isa jIvana ko mAtra eka anagar3ha patthara nahIM bane rahane denA cAhate, use apanI AzA-AkAMkSA va AdarzoM ke anurUpa DhAlanA - apanI bAta/vi

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cAhate haiM to hameM apane una AdarzoM ko mAtra sarasarI taura para par3ha lenA aura par3hakara chor3a denA paryApta nahIM hai, hameM una para gaharAI se vicAra karanA hogA, apane cintana ko vistAra dekara jIvana ke hara pahalU para, hara paristhiti para ghaTita karanA hogA aura upayukta pAye jAne para use kriyAnvita karane kI kAryayojanA taiyAra karanI hogI aura antataH juTa jAnA hogA, use sAkAra karane meM, binA thake, dina- jisaprakAra vAhana nirmAtA, jaba kisI nae maoNDala kA vikAsa karate haiM, to ve use hara sambhAvita paristhiti meM kAryakSama banAne ke lie, kRtrima rUpa se sabhI paristhitiyoM kA nirmANa karake, vAhana kA parIkSaNa karate haiM va upayukta pAye jAne para vAhana kA nirmANa karate haiN| -rAta / apane vicAroM ke anurUpa apane jIvana ko DhAlanA koI eka dina kA kArya nahIM hai, varan yaha eka satat prakriyA hai / jIvana ko AkAra denA to bAta hI aura hai, para vicAroM ko bhI AkAra denA sAdhAraNa kAma nahIM hai| jisaprakAra AdhArahIna, bhArahIna tinake havA se vicalita ho jAte haiM, bikhara jAte haiM; usIprakAra hamAre vicAroM kA pravAha bhI, nityakrama ke atyanta sAmAnya se ghaTanAkramoM se chinna-bhinna ho jAtA hai| isaprakAra tinakoM se bane ghoMsale ke samAna hamAre vicAra jIvana bhara badalate rahate haiM; 'vicAradhArA' kA AkAra grahaNa nahIM kara paate| jaba vicAra hI AkAra nahIM le pAyeMge to jIvana kaise AkAra legA / bikhare-bikhare, kamajora vicAra eka suvyavasthita vicAradhArA kA rUpa dhAraNa kara sakeM, isake lie Avazyaka hai - nirantara cintana, vyavasthita cintana, pratidina, pratipala / aura hama haiM ki socane kI hameM Adata hI nhiiN| hamAre apane na koI vicAra haiM aura na koI vyavasthita vicAradhArA | ise viDaMbanA nahIM to kyA kaheM ki mAtra vicAra karane kI prabala kSamatA aura atyanta vikasita vicArAdhArAoM kA saMgraha hI mAnava ko anya prANiyoM se pRthak karatA hai; prANisamUha meM viziSTa sthAna pradAna karatA hai| AhAra, nidrA, bhaya va maithuna jaisI anya vRttiyA~ to kamoveza sabhI prANiyoM meM samAnarUpa se pAI hI jAtI haiM; aise meM yadi mAnava vicAra karanA hI chor3a de, vicArahIna ho jAve, usakI koI vicAradhArA hI na rahe to phira vaha pazuoM kI apekSA kisaprakAra viziSTa raha sakegA / mAnava ke rUpa meM janma le lenA mAtra paryApta nahIM hai, hameM mAnava bananA hogA / antardvanda/vii

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mAnava deha pA lene meM, pratyakSa taura para hamArA apanA koI puruSArtha nahIM hai, koI yogadAna nahIM hai; para mAnava banane kA puruSArtha hameM svayaM hI karanA hogA / . mujhe AzA hai ki prastuta pustikA meM prastuta kie gae sUtrAtmaka vicAroM ko vistAra dekara, unheM apanI vartamAna paristhitiyoM ke pariprekSya meM AkAra dekara prabuddha pAThaka apane jIvana meM DhAlane kA kArya svayaM hI kara leMge; tathApi maiM jAnatA hU~ ki yaha sabakucha itanA AsAna bhI nahIM hai| alpakathana kA vistAra kara lenA va usameM se akathya kI bhI kalpanA karake eka sampUrNa vicAra kA sRjana kara lenA mAtra tabhI sambhava hai, jaba vicAroM kA yaha sampreSaNa, AdAna-pradAna samAnAntara vicAradhArAoM va samakakSa mAnasikatAoM vAle do vyaktiyo ke bIca ho rahA ho| yadi nitAnta aparicita yA vibhinna mAnasikatAoM vAle vyaktiyoM taka apane vicAra pahu~cAne hoM to, vistAra pUrvaka, sarala bhASA meM, pratidina ke jIvana kI ghaTanAoM ke mAdhyama se, surucipUrNa DhaMga se apanI bAta prastuta karane kI AvazyakatA hai| ukta tathya ko dhyAna meM rakhate hue apane inhIM vicAroM kI vyAkhyA karate hue prasaMgoM ke mAdhyama se, vibhinna caritroM kA sahArA lete hue, eka upanyAsa zIghra hI maiM Apake samakSa prastuta karane kA prayAsa kruuNgaa| prasaMgavaza apanA manogata Apake samakSa vyakta kara dene kA lobha maiM saMvaraNa nahIM kara pA rahA huuN| maiMne pAyA ki mokSAbhilASiyoM ke parama saubhAgya se jinAgama meM dravyAnuyoga se saMbaMdhita AdhyAtmika granthoM kI TIkAoM kI eka samRddha va nirbAdha paramparA Aja taka calI A rahI hai va Agama tathA adhyAtma kI jaTilatama carcAe~, Aja kI saralatama bhASA va subodhatama zailI meM upalabdha haiM, para prathamAnuyoga ke bAre meM aisA nahIM hai| prathamAnuyoga kA uddezya hotA hai - vistAra rucivAle, apekSAkRta kama kSayopazamavAle manuSyoM ke lie sarala bhASA meM kathAnakoM va mahApuruSoM ke jIvana caritra ke mAdhyama se, saMsAra va mokSa ke svarUpa kA digdarzana karake, saMsAra mArga se nikAlakara mokSa meM lAne kA prayAsa karanA / ukta uddezya kI pUrti hetu jina prathamAnuyoga graMthoM kI racanA huI, ve saba tatkAlIna pAThakoM ke lie avazya hI atyanta sarala va manoraMjaka rahe hoMge; para -apanI bAta / Viii

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unakI bhASA va kathana zailI Aja ke pAThakoM ke lie atyanta durUha bana calI hai; parantu manISiyoM kA dhyAna isa ora gayA hI nahIM ki saralatama samajhA va kahA jAnevAlA prathamAnuyoga aba janasAmAnya kI pahu~ca se pare ho calA hai va aba eka bAra phira ise saralatama banAne kI AvazyakatA utpanna ho gaI hai| prathamAnuyoga ke granthoM meM kathAkrama ke bIca-bIca meM sUtrAtmaka rUpa meM piro die gaye siddhAnta-ratnoM kI vistAra pUrvaka sarala vyAkhyA Aja yuga kI AvazyakatA bana calI hai| Aja jaba AtmakalyANa ke abhilASI sAdharmI bhAiyoM ko sadA hI adhyAtma kI sUkSma carcAoM, svAdhyAya va cintana-manana meM rata pAtA hU~ to unake prati atyanta zraddhA, sammAna, vAtsalya ke bhAva hRdaya meM hiloreM lene lagate haiM va unake prati atyanta hI vinamratA pUrvaka eka bAta unase kahane ko mana ho jAtA hai ki - ___ adhyAtma vaha vijJAna hai, vaha vItarAga-vijJAna hai; jo bhedavijJAna karAtA hai sva va para kA, baMdha va mokSa kA, jIva aura ajIva kA tathA prathamAnuyoga va caraNAnuyoga vaha kalA hai, jo saMsArI prANI ko kAjala kI kAlikha se bacAte hue, saMsArarUpI kAjala kI koTharI se bedAga nikAlakara dhavala mokSamArga meM sthApita kara detI hai|| __ prathamAnuyoga meM varNita zalAkA puruSoM ke jIvana caritra ke mAdhyama se saMsAra ke svarUpa ko jAnakara, saMsAra kI asAratA ko pahicAnakara, bhakti kI sArthakatA kA anubhava kara, bAraha bhAvanAoM ke cintanapUrvaka apane Apako saMsAra se nikAlakara mokSa meM sthApita kara lene kI utkaTa bhAvanA kI urvarAbhUmi meM adhyAtma kA bIjAropa mokSaphala pAne kA upAya hai| ___ saMsAra kI nissAratA kA spaSTa va niHzaMka nirNaya hue binA tathA mukti ke sampUrNa/akhaNDa Ananda ke svarUpa kA ni:zaMka nirNaya hue binA saMsAra se chUTane va mokSa pAne kA puruSArtha saMbhava hI nahIM hai| saMsAra kI samasta paristhitiyoM va anubhUtiyoM ko eka hI bhava meM jiyA hI nahIM jA sakatA hai aura isIlie bhukta dazAoM kI nissAratA ke ahasAsa ke bAvajUda abhukta kAlpanika paristhitiyoM meM sukha kI sukhada parikalpanA isa jIva ko saMsAra meM sukha kI mRga-marIcikA jaisI anubhUti se vimukha hI nahIM hone detii| taba koI kaise saMsAra se vimukha ho sakatA hai| - antardvanda/ix

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ukta paristhitiyoM meM prathamAnuyoga meM varNita, nigoda se lekara mokSa taka kI, raMka se lekara cakravartI taka kI, kurUpa se lekara kAmadeva kI sthitiyoM meM jIva kI dazA va ahasAsoM ko par3hakara, jAnakara va vicAroM meM jIkara saMsAra kI nissAratA va mokSa kI sArthakatA kA nirNaya alpakAla meM hI kiyA jA sakatA hai aura taba ukta pRSThabhUmi meM adhyAtma kA vijJAna kAryakArI ho jAtA hai| yadi sUtrAtmaka rUpa se kahA jAye to - "prathamAnuyoga kA kathya saMsAra kI nissAratA kA sAra hai|" isa tathya ko jAnane va isakI ahamiyata ko pahicAnane ke bAda prathamAnuyoga ke granthoM kI TIkA va sarala, subodha evaM rucikara vyAkhyA karanA merI cira saMcita abhilASA hai|.aashaa hai isa abhilASA kI pUrti zIghra hI hogii| jaba maiM prastuta kRti ko eka vistRta upanyAsa kA rUpa dene kI dizA meM agrasara thA, taba merI yojanA thI ki samAja ke vibhinna Ayuvarga, Aya va bauddhikastara varga ko dhyAna meM rakhakara unake jIvana meM AnevAlI jaTila paristhitiyoM ko prastuta kara unakA samAdhAna prastuta kiyA jAve va una paristhitiyoM se ubarakara, kisaprakAra AtmakalyANa ke mArga para lagA jA sakatA hai, vaha mArga prastuta kiyA jA sake; parantu yaha koI AsAna kArya nahIM hai va anubhava kI kamI ke kAraNa mAtra vicAroM ke dharAtala para vibhinna paristhitiyoM kA sRjana karanA mere lie sambhava nahIM ho sakA; tathApi merA yaha dRr3ha vizvAsa hai ki hama kisI bhI paristhiti se kyoM na gujara rahe hoM, kitanI hI viSamatAoM kA sAmanA kyoM na kara rahe hoM; unase ubarane kA upAya vidyamAna avazya hai, yogya cintana ke jariye vaha upAya AsAnI se khojA bhI jA sakatA hai| mere isa kArya meM pAThaka mere sahayogI bhI bana sakate haiM, yadi ve aisI vibhinna paristhitiyoM kA zabdacitra mere samakSa upasthita kareM to maiM mahasUsa karatA hU~ ki maiM unakA samAdhAna, una paristhitiyoM se ubarane kA upAya prastuta kara skuuNgaa| . . prastuta viSayavastu ke sandarbha meM sudhI va prabuddha pAThakoM kI pratikriyAyeM va racanAtmaka sujhAvoM kA hamezA svAgata hai| - paramAtmaprakAza bhArilla . - apanI bAta/x

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antardvanda Aja maiM 75 sAla kA ho gayA huuN| hAlAMki sarakAra to 55-60 meM hI mAna letI hai ki jIvana pUrA ho gayA, para taba to mujhe lagatA thA ki - "abhI kahA~ ? abhI to zurUAta hI hai, abhI to mere lagAye hue vRkSoM para phala Ane zurU hue haiN| jIvana to maiM aba jiU~gA; bharapUra ! " aura taba maiM jijIviSA se bhara uThA thA / merI dRSTi meM sabase jyAdA mahattva phalate-phUlate vyApAra kA thA, jisake kAraNa hI Aja yaha jIvana kI sAMjha khuzagavAra banI thI aura maiMne socA thA ki dhama - dhokAra cala rahe vyApAra kI isa vyastatA meM bacce saba tarapha acchI taraha dhyAna nahIM de pAte haiM va bahuta se mahattvapUrNa pakSa anadekhe hI raha jAte haiN| kyoM na maiM unakI tarapha hI kucha dhyAna duuN| aura maiMne kAryAlaya jAnA prArambha kara diyaa| kucha dina to sabhI ko bar3A acchA lagA, baccoM ne bhI socA ki isameM harja hI kyA hai ? unakA mana bhI lagA rahegA va thor3I-bahuta dekharekha bhI banI rhegii| parantu maiM nirA jJAtA - dRSTA bane rahane ke lie to vahA~ gayA nahIM thA, aura jyoM hI maiMne kartA-dhartA banane kI koziza kI to merI yaha ghRSTatA kartA-dhartAoM ko akharane lagI aura eka dina bar3e beTe ne bar3I hI vinaya ke sAtha mujhase nivedana kiyA ki. ----- "pitAjI Apane jIvana meM kyA kucha nahIM kiyA hai ? Aja jo kucha bhI hai so saba ApakA hI kiyA huA to hai ? aba bhI yadi hama logoM ke rahate hue Apako oNphisa Ane kI jarUrata par3e to phira bhalA -- --? nahIM! basa aba Apa to gaurava ke sAtha, AnandapUrNa jIvana jiyeM aura ApakI jo bhI icchA aura AvazyakatA ho, behicaka Adeza kreN| Apake hara Adeza kA pAlana hogaa|" antardvanda / 1

Page #14
. aura isaprakAra maiM sasammAna ghara biThA diyA gyaa| isa paristhiti se maiM harSita to ho hI nahIM sakatA thA aura vilApa karane kI sthiti thI nhiiN| kucha dinoM ke UhApoha ke bAda maiMne ghara para hI apane liye atyanta hI mahattvapUrNa jimmedArI khoja lii| maiMne mahasUsa kiyA ki lar3ake vyApAra meM vyasta haiM va bahue~ gharabAra meM, para baccoM kI ora dhyAna dene ke lie, unameM ucca saMskAroM ke siMcana ke lie kisI ke pAsa avakAza nahIM hai, kyoM na yaha kArya maiM sambhAla lU~; para yaha bhI itanA AsAna kahA~ thA? jaba maiMne isa kAma meM hAtha DAlA, tabhI jAna pAyA ki samasyA mAtra yaha nahIM ki beTe-bahuoM ke pAsa inheM sikhAne ke lie samaya nahIM hai, varan ina baccoM ke pAsa hI kauna-sA samaya hai, jaba ye apane mAtA-pitA yA dAdA-dAdI ke pAsa baiTha-batiyA skeN| eka to skUla va usake bAda vibhinna viSayoM kI TyUzanoM kA eka nirantara silasilA ? ve kaba kheleM va kaba khAyeM, yahI eka bar3I samasyA thii| maiM intajAra hI karatA rahatA ki ve kaba AyeM aura maiM una para apane sadvicAroM kA kalaza Dhola dU~, para yaha kyA ? ve to eka ora se Ate aura dUsarI ora cale jaate| unake pAsa to jalapAna ke lie hI avakAza na thA phira bhalA ve mere pAsa kaba baiThate va merI kyA sunate; para mujhe to apanI sunAnI hI thI, anyathA mujhe ajIrNa hone lgtaa| jahA~ cAha-vahA~ rAha maiMne bhI avasara DhUMDha hI liyaa| maiMne phaisalA kiyA ki ve jaba bhojana-nAztA kara rahe hoM tabhI maiM apane udgAra bhI parosa dU~, 'eka paMtha do kaaj'| hAlAMki thor3I dikkata to honI hI thI; kyoMki bacce merI bAtoM meM gAphila ho jAte to ve na to khAne-pIne meM dhyAna de pAte the aura na hI apanI mammI kI bAtoM para dhyAna dete the| phira bhI merA yaha AiDiyA kAma kara hI gayA; para amUmana hotA yaha ki jabataka unakA nAztA calatA, taba taka to saba ThIka-ThAka calatA; para nAztA khatma hote hI unheM eka bhI miniTa kA dhairya nahIM rahatA aura taba ve kissA pUrA hone kI to bAta hI antardvanda/2 -

Page #15
kyA, vAkya bhI pUrA hone kA intajAra na karate va bhAga khar3e hote, apanI agalI TyUzana ke lie; kyoMki ve abataka pahale hI leTa ho cuke hote the / bacce to daur3a jAte the, para maiM kyA karatA ? yadi koI aura vahA~ na hotA to zAyada maiM mana masosa kara cupa bhI raha jAtA; ThIka usa bAlaka kI taraha, jo gira par3atA hai to uThakara cAroM ora dekhatA hai ki kisI ne dekhA to nahIM aura Azvasta hone para cupacApa dhUla jhAr3akara cala detA hai, mAno kucha huA hI nhiiN| maiM to itanA saubhAgyazAlI bhI nahIM thA; kyoMki merI isa dazA kA sAkSI banane ke lie merI patnI va bahue~ to vahA~ maujUda thIM hI aura naukara-cAkara bhii| taba maiM jheMpa miTAne ke prayAsa meM apanI patnI kI ora mukhAtiba hokara bolanA prArambha hI karatA ki 'phira mAlUma hai kyA huA vimalA !' aura vaha bola par3atI "hA~ ! hA~ !! saba patA hai, maiM koI pahalI bAra suna rahI hU~ kyA ?" aura isaprakAra anekoM mahattvapUrNa kAryoM meM apanI sArthaka bhUmikA talAzane ke hara prayAsa meM pUrI taraha asaphala rahane ke bAda Aja maiM svayaM bhI isa niSkarSa para pahu~cane ke lie bAdhya hU~ ki merA yaha jIvana sampUrNa rahA ho yA na rahA ho, para sampUrNa jIvana bIta avazya gayA hai; jIvana bIta gayA hai aura jIvana ghaTa rIta gayA hai| abataka to jIvana kA artha bhI na samajha sakA aura jIvana arthahIna ho gayA / mere pAsa aba karane ke lie kucha bhI zeSa nahIM, sivAya dina ginane ke| aba hara subaha mujhe sirpha eka hI intajAra rahatA hai sAMjha hone kA, ki kaba bhora hone ke sAtha hI ghoMsalA chor3akara ur3a gae paMchI eka bAra phira ghara para lauTeM, eka bAra phira AMgana jagamaga ho, yauvana kA saurabha mahake va zaizava kA kalarava chke| yAni ki sAre parivArajana dIvAna khAne meM ekatra ho eka-dUsare ke sAtha apanI khuziyA~ bAMTe, kheleM - khAyeM, baiTheM - batiyAyeM / phi lambe-lambe iMtajAra ke bAda kucha kSaNoM ke lie vaha pala Ate bhI haiM + antardvanda / 3

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va isase pahale ki maiM avasAda kI sthiti se ubarakara usameM sarAbora ho sakU~ ki eka bAra phira patajhar3a A jAtI hai, dIvAnakhAne kI mahaphila bikhara jAtI hai| jIvana kI rozanI dIvAnakhAne se calakara, zayanakakSa ke rAste andhakAra meM vilIna ho jAtI hai aura maiM eka bAra phira karavaTeM badalate hue, rAta kATatA huA bhora kA intajAra karane lagatA hU~, koI naI va anupama nahIM, varan anaginata anya subahoM jaisI hI eka aura subaha kA, jaba eka bAra phira kucha hI paloM ke lie hI sahI, dIvAnakhAne meM rozanI AvegI, kalarava bikharegA aura phira sabakucha bikhara jAvegA kucha hI paloM meM eka aura lambe se dina bhara ke lie, eka aura zAma taka ke lie| aisI hI anya aura anaginata sAMjhoM kI hI taraha, eka aura zAma taka ke lie| sabhI kahate haiM ki maiMne jIvana sampUrNa jiyA hai; sampUrNa jIvana hI nahIM, jIvana sampUrNapane jiyA hai, sabakucha hI to bharA-pUrA hai, bharA-pUrA ghara parivAra, dhama-dhokAra calatA kArobAra, sattA va adhikAra, saba ora se prema va sammAna bharA vyavahAra, svAsthya va parivAra kI anukUlatA, Akhira aura kyA cAhie? para mujhe to isa sampUrNatA meM bhI riktatA hI najara AtI hai / rikatA hI riktatA / saba ora hI to rItApana hai, kahIM kucha bhI to nahIM, jise jamApUMjI kI taraha agale jIvana meM apane sAtha le jAyA jA ske| DeviTa-kreDiTa saba yahIM to barAbara ho gayA, kucha bhI to nahIM bacA kaipITala akAuMTa meM TrAnsaphara karane ke lie, taba phira kisataraha isa jIvana ko sampUrNa kahA jA sakatA hai, paripUrNa kahA jA sakatA hai ? para nahIM ! maiM to rItA bhI kahA~ hU~? maiM to bojhila hU~, atyanta hI bojhila; ananta akRtya - kRtyoM kA bojha to ladA hai mere Upara / kauna kahatA hai kucha nahIM hai kaipITala akAuMTa meM TrAnsaphara karane ke lie ? karjA to hai| maiM nirdhAra kahA~ hU~ ? rItA vyakti to nirdhAra hotA hai, nirdhAratA to Adarza avasthA hai, para maiM nirdhAra kahA~ hU~ ? maiM to atyanta bojhila haiM, apane pApoM se, apane karmoM se / antardvanda / 4

Page #17
kauna kahatA hai ki mere pAsa kucha nahIM apane sAtha le jAne ke lie ? hA~ le jAne lAyaka kucha nahIM, para le jAne ke lie to hai na ? jIvana bhara kiye gaye pApoM kA bojh| ___aba pUrvakRta duSkRtyoM kA smaraNa va unake sambhAvita pariNAmoM kI duzcintA merA pIchA nahIM chor3atI hai| jyoM-jyoM merA dhyAna pichale jIvana meM ghaTita vibhinna ghaTanAkramoM para jAtA hai, merA mana vitRSNA se bhara uThatA hai| hA! yaha maiMne kyA kiyA ? choTe se kSaNika svArthoM kI siddhi ke lie maiMne una ananta karmabandhanoM kI kitanI bar3I kImata cukA DAlI ? sirpha isIlie na ki prakaTa taura se mujhe vaha kImata turanta nahIM cukAnI thI, zAyada tAtkAlika taura para to mujhe kucha milanevAlA hI thA; para kyA koI bhI samajhadAra vyakti koI anupayogI yA ma~hagI vastu kreDiTa kArDa se sirpha isalie kharIda letA hai ki abhI kahA~ paise dene haiM; abhI to cIja yU~ hI ghara meM A rahI hai| are; kabhI to kreDiTa kArDa kA bhI paisA cukAnA hogA, vaha bhI bhArI byAja ke sAtha ! ImAnadAra va samajhadAra vyakti ke lie to kreDiTa kArDa ke kharca meM va nakada kharca meM koI pharka nahIM hai aura vaha to hara kArya lAbha-hAni kA vicAra karake karatA hai, taba maiMne bhalA binA-vicAre, vartamAna ke vyartha se vyavahAroM ke lie gambhIra karmabandhanoM kA bojha kyoM apane sira para lAda liyA, kyA sirpha isalie ki Aja merA kucha nahIM bigar3atA ? ___ are Aja nahIM to kala, bhoganA to mujhe hI hai na ? are kala hI kyoM? Aja bhI to usakA phala maiM hI bhogatA hU~ ananta Akulita hokara ! kyA mAtra kisI vastu yA dhana kA Aya-vyaya hI lAbha-hAni hai, sukha-dukha hai ? pariNAmoM meM vyAkulatA duHkha nahIM ? are vastutaH to mAtra vyAkulatA hI dukha hai| para-vastuoM kA grahaNa-tyAga to parAdhIna hai, usameM to merA kucha kartApanA hai hI nhiiN| Akhira kyA mahattva rakhatI thI vaha bacapana meM mitroM ke bIca khela - antardvanda/5

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khela meM honevAlI jIta-hAra ? khela kA uddezya to mAtra manoraMjana hI thA na? para maiM khela meM bhI ImAnadAra na raha skaa| hAranA to mujhe maMjUra hI na thA, kisI bhI kImata para; ImAna kI kImata para bhI nhiiN| dhikkAra hai merI usa hInavRtti ko, jo apane hI priya mitroM kI vijaya muskAna bardAzta na kara sakatI thii| kyA maiM usa samaya doharA Ananda nahIM le sakatA thA ? eka ora khela kA Ananda va dUsarI ora svayaM kI vijaya se prasanna mitroM kI prasannatA kA AnaMda? para merA ahaMkAra to hamezA hI unheM mAtra parAjita hI dekhanA cAhatA thaa| kyA isI kA nAma mitratA hai ? taba phira zatrutA kise kahate haiM? kyA maiM mitra banakara apane hI mitroM se zatruvata vyavahAra nahIM karatA rahA ? kyA yaha jaghanya aparAdha nahIM thA ? kyA yaha mahApApa nahIM thA aura yaha mahApApa karake maiMne pAyA kyA ? pratipala jIta kA SaDayaMtra racane kI AkulatA hI na ? kyA abhakSyoM ke bhakSaNa binA merA yaha jIvana nahIM cala sakatA thA? kyA kamI thI? eka se bar3hakara eka svAdiSTa va pauSTika padArtha upalabdha the bhojana ke lie, para mujhe to vahI cAhie thI AlU kI caatt| aura vaha bhI ajJAnavaza nahIM, balki yaha jAnate hue bhI ki isameM ananta nigodiyA jIvoM kA ghAta nihita hai? ___Akhira kyA hai bhojana kI upayogitA aura AvazyakatA ? kise kahate haiM bhojana kA aannd| bhojana kI AvazyakatA mAtra zarIra ko svastha va kAryakSama banAye rakhane ke lie hI to hai; va isa uddezya kI pUrti to sarvaprakAra se doSarahita bhojana se bhI bhalIbhAMti kI jA sakatI hai aura rahI bAta svAda kI, to aisA to hai nahIM ki mAtra amuka vastu hI svAdiSTa hotI hai aura amuka nhiiN| yaha to apane Upara nirbhara karatA hai ki hama svayaM apane lie kaisA svAda vikasita karate haiN| loka meM bahutAyata se dekhA jA sakatA hai ki eka vyakti ko eka vastu atyanta pasanda hai va vahI vastu dUsare ko bilkula nahIM suhaatii| are ! vibhinna vyaktiyoM kI to bAta hI kyA ? eka hI vyakti ko - antardvanda/6

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kabhI vahI vastu atyanta priya lagatI hai to kabhI atyanta apriy| yadi teja bhUkha lagI ho to rUkhI-sUkhI moTI roTiyA~ bhI svAdiSTa lagatI haiM aura yadi peTa bharA huA ho, to atyanta priya pakavAna dekhakara bhI hIka AtI hai, vamana hone lagatA hai| vaise bhI svAda ke Ananda kI umra hI kitanI hai? jabataka bhojana thAlI yA hAtha meM hotA hai, tabataka to svAda kA Ananda AtA hI nahIM evaM jaba gale se nIce utara jAtA hai, taba bhI svAda ke Ananda kA to savAla hI nahIM; hA~ adhika bhojana kara lene para vedanA hI hotI hai| aba sirpha bacA rahatA hai, kucha hI kSaNoM kA vaha kAla jabaki bhojana jivhA se gujaratA hai, sirpha isI choTe se kAla meM bhojana kA tathAkathita Ananda prApta kiyA jA sakatA hai ? para isa kucha kSaNoM ke Ananda ke lie ananta jIvoM kA ghAta? kyA yaha saba jAna lene ke bAda bhI vaha bhojana svAdiSTa laga sakatA hai, laganA cAhie? aura yadi phira bhI hameM vahI cAhie to samajhanA cAhie ki hamameM gRddhatA kitanI adhika hai, kitanA bar3A pApa hai yaha ? __kyA hamArI yaha svAda lipsA, ananta AkulatArUpa nahIM hai ? jabataka iSTa bhojana na pA sakU~, tabataka viraha kI vyAkulatA, phira use juTAne ke prayatnoM kI AkulatA aura phira ananta jIvoM kA ghAta karanerUpa pariNAmoM kI krUratA bharI tar3apa yaha saba duHkharUpa hai yA AnandarUpa ? phira isameM Ananda kahA~ hai ? __ vartamAna meM ananta AkulatArUpa duHkha va karmabandha tathA bhaviSya meM karmodaya Ane para pratipala saMyogoM kI prApti va tadjanita aakultaa| yadi hamAre kisI iSTajana kA viyoga ho jAve to hameM bhojana acchA nahIM lagatA, susvAdu bhojana bhI ! are ciraviyoga kI to bAta hI kyA, yadi kucha kAla ke lie bhI putra dUra calA gayA ho to mA~ ko bhojana nahIM ructaa| ananta jIvoM ke ghAta kI kImata para bhI abhakSya bhakSaNa karanA hI hai, kyA yaha una ananta jIvoM ke prati hamArI ananta upekSA nahIM hai, - antardvanda/7

Page #20
ananta zatrutA nahIM hai ? vaha bhI mAtra tatkSaNa nahIM, balki pratipala; kyoMki hama una ananta jIvoM ke prati mAtra usI pala aparAdha nahIM karate haiM, jaba hama unakA ghAta kara rahe hote haiM, balki unake prati zatrutA to hamAre hRdaya meM pratipala palatI rahatI hai, jaba-jaba hameM AvazyakatA ho hama unake ghAta ke lie kaTibaddha rahate haiM aura isIlie pratipala bhayabhIta, zazaMka va satarka bane rahanA unakI niyati hai aura isalie na to yaha aparAdha kucha kSaNoM kA hai aura na karmabandha kucha hI paloM kA, yaha eka nirantara pApa hai, sattata karmabandha kA kAraNa hai| _ siMha jaMgala meM pratipala zikAra meM vyasta nahIM rahatA, zikAra to vaha kabhI-kabhI hI karatA hai, mAtra bhUkha lagane para, vaha bhI mAtra eka jAnavara kA; parantu eka nahIM sabhI prANI bhayabhIta to sadA hI bane rahate haiN| eka bAra, eka prANI para hamale kI AzaMkA meM sAre jAnavara hamezA hI bhaya kA mahAdukha bhogate haiM, una ananta prANiyoM ko anantakAla taka ananta bhayabhIta rakhane vAlA siMha kA vaha krUra pariNAma kyA mAtra eka dina meM eka jAnavara kI hiMsA kA sAdhAraNa pApa hai ? nahIM, kisI bhI vakta koI bhI prANI usake hAtha par3akara apanA jIvana gaMvA sakatA hai| isaprakAra usake rahate kabhI bhI kisI bhI prANI kI surakSA asaMdigdha nahIM hai; isIlie vaha siMha pratipala sampUrNa prANImaNDala kA aparAdhI hai| usIprakAra abhakSya kA bhakSaNa karanevAlA anuSya (jIva) pratipala hI jagata ke samasta prANiyoM ke prati aparAdhI hai| are siMha to phira bhI peTa bhara jAne para zikAra nahIM karatA, para yaha manuSya ? svayaM kA peTa bharA hone para par3ausI ke lie athavA Aja nahIM to kala ke lie bhI zikAra kara gujaregA ? isakI ananta lAlasA ke sAmane to koI bhI, kabhI bhI surakSita nhiiN|| ___kauna kaha sakatA hai ki una ananta jIvoM meM hamAre bhUta va bhAvI ananta bhavoM ke ananta mAtA-pitA, putra-putrI, bandhu-bAndhava va mitra-saMbaMdhI nahIM hoNge| kauna kaha sakatA hai una ananta jIvoM meM bhaviSya ke ananta siddha antardvanda/8 -

Page #21
zAmila nahIM hoMge ? bhUta va bhaviSya kI bAta kyA kreN| ve sabhI hamArI hI taraha vartamAna meM bhI to ananta guNoM ke svAmI bhagavAna AtmA hI haiN| una ananta bhagavAna AtmAoM ke prati hamArI yaha ghora upekSA, hamArA yaha ghora pramAda; kyA koI choTA aparAdha hai ? vaha bhI mAtra eka kSaNa ke svAda ke lie| - are ! yaha una ananta bhagavAna AtmAoM kA hI ghAta nahIM thA, yaha to nija bhagavAna AtmA kA ghAta thA, isa abaMdhasvabhAvI bhagavAna AtmA ke lie.ananta karmabaMdha kA nimitta va anantakAla taka bhavabhramaNa kA kAraNa thA; para mujhe isakI khabara hI nhiiN| __ kyA-kyA anyAya va anIti nahIM kI maiMne ? na sahI apane putra ke lie, mitra ke beTe ke lie hI sahI; para rizvata dekara pIemaTI (Pre Medical Test) kI parIkSA meM pAsa karA denA kyA choTA aparAdha thA ? - rizvata dekara samAja va zAsanavyavasthA ko to bhraSTa kiyA hI, para jisa vidyArthI kA haka chInakara apane mitra ke nAkAbila putra ko dilAyA, usake prati kitanA bar3A aparAdha thA vaha? jisa yogya chAtra kA haka maiMne chIna liyA, usa para kyA gujarI hogI ? jAne kyA bana pAyA hogA vaha? na jAne kucha bana bhI pAyA hogA yA nahIM; yA jIvana bhara ke lie eka sAdhAraNa AdamI banakara raha gayA hogA, eka sAdhAraNa majadUra; becArA mjbuur| na jAne kisa aMdhere ghara kA dIpa prajvalita hote-hote raha gayA hogA ? kauna jAne usa ghara kA aMdherA usake bAda kabhI miTa bhI sakA hogA yA nhiiN| ___ yaha mAtra usa chAtra ke prati hI aparAdha nahIM thA, yaha usake vivaza mAtA-pitA ke prati bhI kitanA bar3A anyAya thA, jinakI A~khoM kA vaha tArA hogA, unakI AzAoM va aramAnoM kA ekamAtra kendrbindu| kauna jAne usa eka ghor3e para unhoMne kyA-kyA dAva para lagA rakhA ho ? ho na ho zAyada sarvasva hii| mAtra isa AzA meM ki yadi eka bAra yaha DaoNkTara bana jAve, to janma-janma ke pApa kaTa jAveM, dAridrya miTa jAve ! jaba mere isa antardvanda/9.

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duSkRtya ke kAraNa vaha asaphala ghoSita kara diyA gayA hogA, saba unakA kyA huA hogA, una para kyA gujarI hogI ? are sirpha vahI kyoM ? kyA unakI AgAmI anaginata pIr3hiyA~ jIvana ke ujAloM se vaMcita nahIM kara dI gaI, andhakAra ke garta meM nahIM dhakela dI gaIM ? udgamasthala para vidyuta kA tAra kATa diye jAne para sampUrNa mahAnagara aMdhakAra meM DUba jAtA hai| aura vaha duSkRtya maiMne jisake lie kiyA thA, usane kyA kiyA ? vaha to 10 sAla meM jaise-taise DaoNkTara banane ke bAda aMgUroM ke niryAta ke kArobAra meM laga gyaa| __ kyA yaha deza va samAja ke prati merI gaddArI nahIM thI, kyA maiMne anekoM marIjoM ko eka yogya DaoNkTara kI sevA se vaMcita nahIM kara diyA ? jAne vaha kitane logoM kI jIvanarakSA kA nimitta bntaa| pratidina apane isIprakAra ke avicArI kRtyoM dvArA hama deza va samAja kA itanA bar3A nukasAna kara DAlate ki apanA sampUrNa jIvana bhI samAjasevA meM jhoMkakara hama isakI kSatipUrti nahIM kara skte| __kabhI-kabhI to hama apane inhIM kRtyoM ko samAjasevA mAna baiThate haiM aura isa sabake badale samAja se anekoM abhinandana aura na jAne kyA-kyA apekSAyeM karane lagate haiN| kyA yaha ananta baMdha kA kAraNa nahIM hogA? are kitane ajJa haiM hama! hama svayaM apane Apako nahIM jAnate; hama svayaM apane manobhAvoM kA vizleSaNa nahIM kara pAte haiN| hama kyA haiM aura apane Apako kyA samajhate haiM aura svayaM hamArI nigAhoM se ojhala, hamAre andara chupI huI hamArI apanI hIna-vRttiyA~ kisaprakAra samAja ke vAtAvaraNa ko viSAkta kiyA karatI haiM, isakI hameM kalpanA hI nahIM rahatI hai| ___ise kula kI maryAdA ke ullaghaMna kA Dara kaho yA dussAhasa kI kamI; ki una kukarmoM meM maiM svayaM lipta nahIM huA, parantu apane hI kaoNleja ke sAthI mitroM dvArA anekoM navayauvanAoM ke ujjvala jIvana meM anaMta aMdhakAra bikhera dene ke prayAsoM kA maiM mUka sAkSI kaise banakara raha sakA ? - antardvanda/10

Page #23
kyA sacamuca hI maiM apane svayaM ke mitroM ko rokane meM akSama thA? mujhe una kanyAoM meM apanI bhaginI (bahina) ke darzana kyoM nahIM hue? kahIM mere avacetana ke kisI kone meM chupI vAsanA unakA mauna anumodana to nahIM kiyA karatI thI ? kyoM nahIM maiMne usa daura meM apane antara ko TaTolane kA prayAsa kiyA? kyA kisI kI kSaNika vAsanA kI tRpti ke lie, kisI kA saMpUrNa jIvana kalaMkita kara DAlane kA prayAsa kAklei mApha hai? ____ maiMtoapane Apako cAritrikavamAnasikadharAtalAsamAja ke scatama varga kA pratinidhi samajhatA huuN| agara isa sarvocca varga kA mAnasa aisA hai to anya kisase kyA apekSA kI jA sakatI hai? aura sAsa samAja isIprakAra kI vRttiyoM se AplAvita hai - yaha jAnakara Aja apane komalamati bAlakoM ko rakSaNahIna, svataMtrarUpa se apane isa samAja meM vicaraNa karane ke lie akelA chor3ane kI kalpanAmAtra Aja mujhe kampAyamAna kara detI hai| . eka sabhya samAja apane sadasyoM se sabhya, naitika, udAra eksacaritramaya snehila vyavahAra kI apekSA karatA hai aura lar3akapana kA uddAma pravAha isaprakAra kI apekSAoM ko bandhanoM kA nAma dekara roMda DAlanA cAhatA hai; para vakta ke sAtha-sAtha jaba vaha pravAha manda par3atA hai va hama zikArI se miTakara zikAra banane kI sthiti meM Ane lagate haiM; taba hameM sabhyatA, naitikatA, udAratA, saccaritratA evaM sneha ke surakSA kavaca kI AvazyakatA gaharAI se mahasUsa hone lagatI hai; para usasamaya koI aura lar3akapana kI unhIM nirlaja, niSThura, udaNDa, uddAma taraMgoM para savAra hokara samAja kI ukta apekSAoM ke viruddha vidroha kA vigula bajAne lagatA hai aura hama eka apariSkRta samAja ke bIca rahane ke lie abhizapta bane rahate haiN| ___ kyA hama svayaM apanI vRttiyoM ko parimArjita karake apane svayaM ke lie eka behatara samAja kI racanA nahIM kara sakate; eka aisA samAja, jisameM rahane se hama bhayabhIta va sazaMkita na raheM; hama apane Apako saMrakSita mahasUsa kreN| antaInda/11

Page #24
aba varmAjI vAle mAmale kI hI bAta liijie| isa bAta se kauna inkAra karatA hai ki par3ausa vAle varmAjI kA hamAre ghara kI bhUmi kA eka hissA dabA lenA, eka anyAyapUrNa kadama thA; tathApi kyA usa kucha gaja bhUmi ke Tukar3e ke lie anekoM varSoM taka korTa meM kesa lar3anA va apane upayoga ko usameM ulajhAye rakhanA mere lie ucita thA? maiMne kitanI rAteM kAlI kI haiM una dveSapUrNa vicAroM meM | Akhira milA kyA ? bhUmi kA vaha Tukar3A to pahale bhI vahIM thA, aba bhI vahIM hai; taba bhI khAlI par3A thA, aba bhI vaisA hI khAlI par3A hai| jIvana ke ve kucha varSa va vaha mahattvapUrNa samaya jo kisI sArthaka cintana meM bIta sakatA thA, dveSa ke gande nAle meM baha gyaa| zAyada varmAjI dvArA kiyA gayA vaha choTA-sA anyAya, mere svayaM ke dvArA apane svayaM ke prati kiye gaye ananta karmabandhana ke isa ghora anyAya ke sAmane nagaNya hI tthhrtaa| aura phira varmAjI kA prakaraNa to mAtra eka udAharaNa mAtra hai, para isataraha ke anekoM prasaMga kadama-kadama para mere jIvana meM Ate rahe aura unheM nimitta banAkara maiM nirantara hI Arta - raudra dhyAna meM vyasta rahA, bar3e-bar3e saiddhAntika jAme pahinAkara apanI isI malina pariNati ko vibhUSita karatA rahA / 66 99 'anyAya karanA bhI aparAdha hai va anyAya sahanA bhI aparAdha hai| ukta ukti kA sahArA lekara apane hara vidveSapUrNa karma ko anyAya ke viruddha apane saMgharSa kA nAma detA rhaa| yadi sacamuca hama ukta siddhAnta kA pAlana karate haiM to hara samaya kyoM nahIM, hara ghaTanA meM kyoM nahIM, hara vyakti ke sAtha kyoM nahIM; isI siddhAnta ko lAgU karate ? sirpha kahIM-kahIM hI kyoM? para hama to siddhAntavAdI nahIM, suvidhAbhogI jIvana jIte haiM, jahA~ koI tathAkathita siddhAnta hamAre kSaNika svArtha kA poSaNa karatA hai, vahA~ hama siddhAntavAdI bana jAte haiM aura kisI kSudra se svArtha kI pUrti meM yadi bar3e se bar3A siddhAnta bAdhaka banatA hai, to hama usakI bhI paravAha nahIM karate haiN| jaba kisI laMgar3e- lUle, apaMga-asamartha, bUr3he- bhikhArI ko mAtra peTa antardvanda / 12

Page #25
bharane ke lie eka-do rupaye bhIkha dene kA savAla khar3A hotA to bhikSAvRtti ko bar3hAvA na dene kA merA siddhAnta Ar3e A jAtA hai aura merI jeba meM par3e ve sikke vahIM aThakheliyA~ karate raha jAte haiM, mere hara kadama ke sAtha 'harI kIrtana' karate rahate haiM va usa bhikhArI ke peTa meM cUhoM kI uchala-kUda jArI rahatI hai; para Trena meM eka rAta ke lie sITa pAne ke lie hama turanta kucha sau rupaye nikAla kara TI.sI. ko de dete haiM evaM dhanyavAda bolate haiN| taba hameM yAda nahIM AtA ki isataraha rizvatakhorI ko bar3hAvA dekara maiM sampUrNa samAja ko bhraSTa kara rahA hU~ aura yaha nAsUra na jAne deza aura samAja ko kisa garta meM le jaavegaa| sacamuca yaha saMsAra to sampUrNataH anyAyapUrNa hI hai| are ! anyAyapUrNa kyA ? 'anyAya' hI saMsAra hai va saMsAra mAtra 'anyAya' hI hai| are dainika jIvana kI choTI-bar3I bAtoM kI to bAta hI kyA kI jAve ? kauna phaisalA karegA ki Trena meM car3hate vakta Apane mujhe jo dhakkA diyA, vaha irAdApUrvaka kiyA gayA kRtya thA yA anAyAsa, ucita yA anucita, kAbilemApha thA yA nAkAbile mApha ? are yahA~ to apane eka samaya kI udarapUrti ke lie eka prANI dUsare prANI ko binA aparAdha, binA pahicAna, binA zatrutA mitratA ke, jIvita hI nigala jAtA hai aura kisI ko koI malAla nahIM rhtaa| aise isa jagata meM nyAya-anyAya kI bAta karanA bemAnI nahIM lagatA ? kyA aba bhI nyAya kI koI ummIda raha jAtI hai ? yadi hameM nyAya hI cAhie to " mAtra mukti kA vicAra hI anyAya kA pratikAra ho sakatA hai|" samajhAne ko to maiM apane mana ko samajhA sakatA thA ki pyAra, yuddha va vyApAra meM saba jAyaja hai; para kyA maiM sacamuca apane Apako usa munAphA khorI ke kRtya ke lie mApha kara pAU~gA, jisake kAraNa ho na ho kitane logoM ko cAra roTiyoM kI AvazyakatA hote hue bhI tIna roTiyoM se hI saMtuSTa honA par3A hogA, yA ki bacce kA peTa acchI taraha se bharane ke prayAsa ko bhUkhA hI so jAnA par3A hogaa| Akhira isaprakAra upArjita vaha antardvanda / 13

Page #26
dhana Aja mere kisa kAma AyA? Aja to mujhe na use ginane kA avakAza hai na sambhAlane kI sAmarthya; isa niSThura kRtya se upArjita vaha dravya Aja merI sampatti kA eka nagaNya-sA hissA hI to hai| una nirdayI pariNAmoM ke phalasvarUpa hue karma bandhanoM kA ananta bojha to Aja mere sira para hai; para kyA isa rAzi kA kucha bhI hissA maiM apane sAtha le jA sakU~gA? paisA! paisA!! paisA!!! na jAne kaisI adbhuta vastu hai yaha paisA ! mAnava sabhyatA kA anupama anusaMdhAna eka vismayakArI srjn| AcAryoM ne kahA hai samayo savvattha sundaro loe arthAt AtmA loka meM sabase sundara hai; para hameM to loka meM paise se jyAdA sundara kucha dikhAI hI nahIM detA; na jAne kaisA gajaba kA AkarSaNa hai ismeN| sArI duniyA dIvAnI huI jA rahI hai isake piiche| kyA sacamuca yaha aisI vastu hai, jisake pIche sabakucha samarpita kara diyA jAve, koI bhI balidAna kiyA jA ske| jisa paise ke lie hama apanA sArA jIvana jhoMka DAlate haiM, kyA vaha . sampUrNa paisA dekara bhI hama punaH jIvana kA eka kSaNa bhI kharIda sakate haiM ? nahIM ! taba hama apanA yaha jIvana dhanopArjana meM kaise jhoMka sakate haiM? ____ jagata meM sone kA bhI bar3A AkarSaNa hai| para vaha jagata ke pariprekSya meM ucita hI kahA jAvegA; kyoMki hama paisA dekara sonA kharIda sakate haiM va jaba cAheM sonA becakara phira paisA prApta kara sakate haiN| donoM ke bIca barAbarI kA vyavahAra hai aura isalie donoM barAbarI kI vastue~ haiM, eka ke pIche dUsare kI kImata cukAI jA sakatI hai, para jIvana aura paise ke bIca isaprakAra kA riztA nahIM hai, sArA jIvana jhoMka DAleM phira bhI paisA mile to mile, na mile to na bhI mile| yadi mila bhI jAve, vipula daulata mila jAve; taba bhI usa sArI daulata ko eka kSaNa ke jIvana meM parivartita nahIM kiyA jA sktaa| - antardvanda/14

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ukta tathya sAbita karatA hai ki jIvana koI bAjAru cIja nahIM hai, kyoMki yaha bAjAra ke niyamoM kA pAlana nahIM krtaa.| ThIka yahI phArmUlA caritra para, bhAvanAoM para va saMvedanAoM para bhI lAgU hotA hai| ____ apane caritra kA patana kara va snehIjanoM va samAja kI bhAvanAoM ko Ahata kara hama dhana-daulata to juTA sakate haiM, para phira dhana-daulata luTAkara caritra va bhAvanAyeM paidA nahIM kI jA sakatIM; isalie maiM kahatA hU~ ki ye vastue~ bhI bAjAru nahIM, kyoMki ye bhI bAjAra ke niyamoM kA pAlana nahIM krtiiN| ___yadi isa dRSTikoNa se maiM vicAra karatA to kyA sArA jIvana yU~ hI 'dhana saMgraha' meM hI naSTa kara DAlatA ? aba rAmU kI hI bAta leN| kyA rAmU kI gAthA hamAre jIvana kA sabase kAlA adhyAya nahIM hai? Akhira kyA antara thA hama sabhI meM va usameM ? usane lagabhaga apanA sArA jIvana hI to hamAre hI ghara meM hamAre sAtha hI bitA diyA, hama sabhI kI sevA karate hue; abhI bamuzkila 10-12 sAla kA hI to rahA hogA, jaba usakI mA~ use hamAre ghara para chor3a gaI thI, yaha kahate hue ki 'yahIM kisI kone meM par3A rahegA, bacA-khucA bAsI khAkara palabar3ha jAyegA bAbUjI! aura badale meM ghara ke kAmoM meM hAtha baMTA diyA kregaa|' ____ usa dina chor3akara kyA gaI mAno mAtRtva ke dAyitva se mukta ho gaI, phira to usane kabhI mur3akara usakI khoja-khabara hI na lii| ___ rAmU yahIM isI ghara meM, inhIM baccoM samakita va surabhita' ke sAtha hI to khelate-khAte bar3A ho gayA, pharka thA to sirpha itanA ki jaba ve sAtha-sAtha khelate to ve jItate rahe vaha hAratA rahA, ve rUThate rahe vaha manAtA rahA, ve phailAte rahe vaha sameTatA rhaa| lagabhaga sAtha-sAtha janme, pale-bar3e va rahe; para ve kyA bana gae aura yaha kyA banakara raha gayA? - antardvanda/15 -

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rasoIghara ke kAmoM meM hAtha baMTAte-baMTAte rAmU eka siddhahasta rasoIyA bana gayA thaa| yaha to usakI kAbiliyata thI ki rasoIghara para vaha ekachatra kAbija ho gayA thaa| usake rahate kabhI kisI ko vahA~ jAne kI jarUrata hI na pdd'tii| zAyada usake sivA koI aura jAnatA bhI na thA ki cAya meM kise kitanI cInI cAhie va sabjI meM kise kitanI mircI yA ki kisakA phulkA kitanA sikanA cAhie? Alama to ye ho calA thA ki jaba kabhI yadA-kadA use apane gA~va jAne kA mana ho AtA to mAno ghara-parivAra para saMkaTa ke bAdala se chA jaate| sabake kAraNa apane-apane the, para usake jAne kI khabara sunakara sAMpa sabhI ko sUMgha jAtA thaa| ____ ammA ko lagatA thA ki dina kA adhikAMza samaya aba rasoIghara meM hI biitegaa| mujhe cintA hone lagatI ki zAyada dina meM do-tIna kapa cAya kI kaTautI to ho hI jaayegii| samakita jAnatA thA ki aba samaya para skUla pahu~cane ke lie use vizeSa sAvadhAnI rakhanI hogI, to surabhita ko cintA thI apanI pasanda kA bhojana na mila pAne kI; kyoMki mA~ kA jora svAdiSTa khAne kI apekSA pauSTika va svAsthyavardhaka bhojana para adhika rahatA thaa| vaha sAla meM muzkila se 15-20 dina ke lie gAMva jAtA thA aura eka khulI jela ke Ajanma kaidI kI bhAMti pairola kI avadhi khatma hote hI phira vApisa apane usI rasoI ghara meM Akara kaida ho jAtA thA, lagabhaga varSa bhara ke lie| isItaraha varSoM bIta gae, kabhI kisI ne gaura hI nahIM kiyA ki kaba vaha zAdI kara AyA va kaba usake bAla-bacce ho gaye aura mAtA-pitA mara-khapa gye| usakA aura sabakucha hamArA apanA thA, sivAya usakI una vyaktigata khuziyoM aura gamoM ke tathA usakI pagAra; lagabhaga 1000 rupaye mAhavAra ke| maiM gavAha hU~ ki kisataraha usakA bacapana bar3I tejI se jhaTapaTa gAyaba antardvanda/16 -

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ho gayA thA, para eka sIjana to bIca meM chUTa hI gayA, mAno yauvana to usake AyA hI nahIM aura abhI jaba samakita aura surabhita kI jabAnI sabAba para thI, vaha asamaya hI bur3hAne lgaa| bAla paka gaye, ceharA laTaka gayA va kamara jhukane lagI / na jAne aise kauna se roga ne A gherA ki yakAyaka vaha bikharane lgaa| hAlAMki na to usakI bImArI ke bAre meM mAlUma karanA muzkila kAma thA aura na hI bImArI kA ilAja karanA; para yaha saba kauna karatA? Akhira kisI ke bhI pAsa phAlatU vakta hI kahA~ thA, koI apane jIvana kI upalabdhiyoM ko bhogane meM vyasta thA to kisI kA kairiyara apane sabAba para thA aura koI apane jIvana kI AdhArazilA ko majabUta karane meM jI-jAna se juTA huA thA; aise meM usa bikharate khaNDahara kI tarapha dhyAna dene kI phursata hI kise thI ? hA~ eka cintA kabhI - kabhI jarUra ho jAyA karatI thI ki kahIM use koI cepI roga to nahIM hai? kahIM aisA na ho---- 15 miniTa bacAne ke lie, lAina meM lagakara sinemA ke TikiTa lene kI bajAya jinheM 10-20 TikiTa bhI 100 rupaye prati TikiTa blaika meM lenA posAtA ho, ve use lekara kaI daphA ghaNToM taka myUnisipila haoNspiTala AuTa Dora kI lAina meM khar3e rahate the; kyoMki Akhira usakA ilAja kisI prAibeTa DaoNkTara se kaise karAyA jA sakatA hai ? usakI phIsa to 100 rupaye haina ! aura eka dina jaba pAnI sira se Upara bar3hane lagA to parivAra ke sabhI sadasyoM kI eka Avazyaka mITiMga huI, jisameM AvAla- gopAla sabhI ne apane-apane vicAra vyakta kiye| usake bigar3ate svAsthya ke prati apanIapanI cintA vyakta kI, tadjanita duSprabhAvoM kA Akalana kiyA gayA aura phira eka sarvasammata nirNaya ke tahata agale hI dina use usake jIvana bhara kI sevAoM ke puraskAra svarUpa bIsa hajAra rupaye nakada inAma dekara binA usake gA~va kA nAma va patA pUche hI usake gA~va jAne vAlI basa meM biThA diyA gyaa| hA~, isa bAra usake baiga kI talAzI bhI nahIM lI gaI thI / antardvanda / 17

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usa dina rAmU gayA, so gyaa| usake bAda Aja taka kisI ko bhI mAlUma nahIM ki usakA kyA huA ? eka dina vaha thA, jaba rAmU ke binA ghara kA pattA bhI nahIM hilatA thaa| ghara meM koI bhagavAna kA nAma le yA na le para rAmU kA nAma dina meM saiMkar3oM daphe liyA jAtA thA / yadi cAra bAra Adeza diye jAte the to daza bAra cirauriyA~ bhI kI jAtI thIM, para Aja use koI yAda bhI nahIM karatA hai| mAno vaha duHsvapna jIvana meM kabhI AyA hI na thA / Aja usakI jagaha gopAla ne le lI hai| jaba se rAmU ghara meM AyA thA, taba se Aja taka usake sAtha ghaTita honevAlI hara ghaTanA kA maiM mUka, kintu jAgaruka sAkSI banA rhaa| maiM hara cIja ke mAyane bar3I acchI taraha samajhatA thA, para maiMne yaha saba badalane kI koziza kabhI nahIM kii| yaha satya hai ki mujhe svayaM yaha saba acchA nahIM lagatA thA aura zAyada yadi svayaM mujhe hI isa vyavahAra kA saMcAlana karanA hotA to maiM kara bhI nahIM pAtA; tathApi saba kucha merI mauna sahamati se calatA rhaa| hAlAMki hara ghaTanAkrama para merI painI nigAha rahatI thI aura sabakucha ThIka-ThAka calatA dekha, maiM usa sabase anabhijJa dikhane kA hI prayAsa karatA / hA~ kabhI - kabhI kisI kSaNika bhAvAvezavaza koI usake prati atirikta saMvedanazIla ho uThatA, kRpAvanta ho jAtA to ati saMkSepa meM hI, moha tajane kI pratyakSa yA parokSa preraNA dekara maiM tatkAla hI usase vimukha ho letA, tAki koI mere isa yogadAna kA noTisa bhI na le ske| maiM isIprakAra kAjala kI koTharI meM kisI taraha sAvadhAnIpUrvaka bacatebacAte eka zubhra va dhavala jIvana jItA rhaa| yU~ to mere jIvana kA anubhava bolatA hai ki kisI kA manogata chupatA nahIM, pragaTa ho hI jAtA hai| kisI kA kucha jaldI yA kisI kA kucha dera se / yadi koI samajhatA hai ki duniyA mujhe sirpha usIrUpa meM dekha pAI hai jaisA ki maiM dikhane kI antardvanda / 18

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koziza karatA rahA, to yaha usakI bhrAnti hai| hotA to yaha hai ki loga yaha.to bhAMpa hI lete haiM ki Apa kaise haiM, sAtha hI sAtha yaha bhI bhAMpa jAte haiM ki Apa kyA chupAne kA prayAsa kara rahe haiM va kaise dikhanA cAhate haiM? aura phira ve ApakA bhrama banAye rakhane meM Apake sahayogI bana jAte haiM aura aisA hI pradarzana karate haiM mAno ve kucha samajhe hI nhiiN| ise hI to kahate haiM sabhyatA kA vikaas| naMge rAjA ko naMgA kahane kA mUrkhatApUrNa sAhasa to hajAroM logoM ke bIca mAtra eka nAsamajha bAlaka hI kara sakatA hai na ! Aja jaba yaha vicAra mere mana meM AtA hai ki koI jAna pAyA yA na jAna.pAyA; para kyA prakRti se merA yaha vicAra chupa sakA hogA? jAne kaise-kaise karmabandha hue hoMge mere ina mAyAcArI pariNAmoM ke phlsvruup| kyA mujhe svayaM hI ina eka-eka kRtyoM kA phala nahIM bhoganA pdd'egaa| ___ maiM Aja khuda apane Apase pUchatA hU~ ki Akhira kyA pharka thA usameM aura hama saba meM? hama sabhI to bhavasAgara meM bhaTakate-bhaTakate mAtra saMyogavaza hI, mAtra kucha hI samaya ke lie yahA~ eka chata tale ekatra ho gaye haiM aura cAhe acchI taraha raheM yA eka-dUsare se ulajhate raheM, eka nizcita samaya to sabhI ko sAtha-sAtha gujAranA bhI aparihArya hI hai va phira eka-eka kara bikharane ke krama ko roka pAnA bhI kisI ke lie sambhava nahIM hai| pharka sirpha itanA hI hai ki sabhI ke Agamana ke mArga alaga-alaga haiN| koI janma lekara isa kunabe meM zAmila huA to koI byAhatA banakara aura koI kisI anya mArga se apane pUrva janmoM kA karjA utArane ke lie, apanA svayaM kA ghara-bAra chor3akara isa kunabe meM zAmila ho gyaa| yaha tarka bilkula hI bemAnI hai ki usane hamArI mA~ kI kokha se janma nahIM liyA phira Akhira vaha hama jaisA kaise ho sakatA hai, hamArA kaise ho sakatA hai ? yadi apanepana kA yahI mApadaNDa hai to phira yahI - antardvanda/19 -

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phArmUlA apanI byAhatA striyoM para bhI to lAgU hotA hai ? para ve to samaya pAkara apane sahodara se bar3hakara ho jAtI haiM, are ! bar3hakara kyA ? ve hI sabakucha ho jAtI haiM, sahodara to anya ho jAtA hai| ____ maiM samajha nahIM pAtA ki eka anya ghara se AI strI jaba isa ghara meM isataraha ghulamila jAtI hai, isa maya ho jAtI hai, to phira yaha sevaka kyoM nahIM ? yaha bhI to usa kanyA kI hI taraha apanA sabakucha chor3akara yahA~ A gayA hai aura jisaprakAra varSa meM kucha dina ke lie patnI mAyake ho AtI hai; vaha bhI ho AtA hai| yadi patnI viSaya-poSaNa meM nimitta banatI hai to yaha bhI kahA~ pIche hai ? pharka hai to sirpha itanA hI na, ki koI eka indriya ke bhoga meM nimitta banatA hai va koI anya indriya ke| __ yadi koI pharka hai to mAtra apanepana kA, apanApana mahasUsa karane kaa| para rAmU to isa parivAra ke sAtha ekameka hI ho cukA thaa| use to hamezA hI isI parivAra kI khuziyoM ke bIca cahakate dekhA gayA hai va parivAra ke gama meM gamagIna hote dekhA gayA hai| usake apane jIvana meM bhI koI Ida yA muharrama AI yA AyA ho aisA hama sabhI to kabhI mahasUsa nahIM kara ske| phira kyoM, hama jaisA khAte-pIte, hamAre sAtha hI rahate, isI havA meM zvAsocchvAsa lete hue aura sukha-duHkha kA bhAgIdAra banate hue sArA jIvana hI to bIta gayA, taba bhI vaha begAnA hI banA rahA? ___ kyA usake prati merA; merA hI kyA hama sabhI kA yaha upekSAbhAva ananta krodha, ananta dveSa kI zreNI meM nahIM AtA ? yadi aisA hai to hamane kabhI kyoM nahIM socA ki ina bhAvoM kA phala kyA hogA? ___ are loka meM bhI khUna kI sajA khUna yA AjIvana kArAgAra hotI hai| eka khUna karo aura jIvanabhara kArAgAra meM rahakara usakA karja utAro; phira hara pala kiye gaye kisI kI saMvedanAoM ke khUna kA mujhe kyA pratiphala milegA ? kyA kabhI mujhe bhI isItaraha apanA pUrA jIvana jhoMkakara kisI kA karja utAranA hogA? - antardvanda/20 -

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kAza! yaha Aja vAlI samajha mujhe pahile hI A jaatii| jIvana to jInA hI thA, yadi vicArapUrvaka jiyA hotA to yahI jIvana, jIvanamaraNa kA anta karanevAlA sAbita hotA, jo aba ananta bhava-bhramaNa kA nimitta banakara raha gayA hai| kitanA Atmamugdha thA maiM apane manobhAvoM ko prakaTa na hone dene vAlI apanI vyavahAra zailI pr| ise maiM jIvana jIne kI kalA mAnatA rahA aura apanI isa kAbiliyata para svayaM hI apanI pITha thapathapAtA rhaa| hAlAMki mana merA bhI thor3A kama yA thor3A jyAdA, malina hI thA; para loga mujhe mahanta samajhate rahe aura maiM bhI apane vyavahAra se unheM yahI AbhAsa detA rhaa| zAyada yahI kAraNa rahA ki mujhe sacamuca mahanta banane kI AvazyakatA hI mahasUsa na huI; kyoMki tatkAlika taura para to mujhe mahantapane kI mAnyatA milatI hI rahI, para maiMne kabhI yaha to socA hI nahIM ki merA yaha vyavahAra mAyAcAra kI zreNI meM AtA hai aura mujhe apane isa eka-eka pala ke mAyAcAra ke lie yugoM-yugoM taka kyA kImata cukAnI hogI? kyA yahI jIvana sIdhe va sarala vyavahAra ke sAtha nahIM jiyA jA sakatA thA ? taba bhI kyA kasara raha jAtI mere jIvana meM ? yUM to yaha zAzvata satya hai ki mAna-pratiSThA, bhogasAmagrI, adhikAra va anukUla-pratikUla saMyoga saba pUrvakRta puNya-pApAdi ke udayAnusAra hI milate haiM aura yadi mere tadrUpa puNya kA udaya thA to ina sabase mujhe kauna vaMcita kara sakatA thA ? taba kyA merA yaha chalakapaTa bharA vyavahAra vyartha hI na rahA? . ____ are vyartha kaise rahegA, vaha to anartha kA sRjana karegA, taba zAyada maiM vicAra karU~gA ki yaha mujhe kina pApoM kI sajA mila rahI hai, para zAyada mujhe taba apane ina pApoM kI smRti hI nahIM rahe aura smRti rahe bhI to kyA? __ maiMne apane ina kriyAkalApoM ko, apanI ina karatUtoM ko pApa mAnA hI kaba hai? maiM to inheM jIvana jIne kI kalA mAnatA rahA aura isa jagata meM - antardvanda/21 -

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apane astitva ke lie Avazyaka mAnatA rhaa| maiM mAnatA rahA ki yadi yaha saba na kiyA jAve to jIvana saphalatA pUrvaka jiyA hI nahIM jA sakatA; . para Aja maiM svayaM hI yaha nahIM samajha pA rahA hU~ ki Akhira merI isa mAnyatA kA AdhAra hI kyA hai ? merI yaha mAnyatA Akhira kyoM banI ki chalakapaTa rahita sIdhe-sAde vyavahArapUrvaka, jIvana saphalatA pUrvaka nahIM jiyA jA sakatA ? . Aja jaba gambhIratA pUrvaka vicAra karatA hU~ to pAtA hU~ ki yaha saba merA maulika cintana nahIM hai, maiMne isa bAre meM socA hI kaba hai ? are mere isa jIvana meM cintana ko avakAza hI kahA~ thA ? yaha mAnyatA va isItaraha kI anya aneka dhAraNAyeM to mAtra jagata ke vAtAvaraNa meM se jagata kI pracalita sAmAnya mAnyatAoM va kArya praNAliyoM meM se anajAne hI grahaNa kara lI aura unakA anusaraNa karane lgaa| para kyA sacamuca yaha jIvana isItaraha jiye jAne ke yogya thA ? ___kyA mujhe svayaM cintanapUrvaka apane lie, apanI ruciyoM va yogyatAoM ke anurUpa, jIvana-zailI kA vikAsa nahIM karanA cAhie thA? kyA apane isa jIvana ke lie kucha lakSya nirdhArita nahIM karane cAhie the ? aura phira una lakSyoM kI pUrti karane vAlI jIvanazailI nahIM apanAnI cAhie thI? taba phira hama sabhI aisA kyoM nahIM karate ? kyoM nahIM svayaM apanI jIvana zailI kA nirmANa karate ? kyoM nahIM apane jIvana kI dizA nirdhArita karate? kyoM chor3a dete haiM apane isa jIvanarUpI tinake ko saMsArarUpI sAgara meM svacchanda (bhAgya bharose) vicaraNa ke lie, jisakA na koI lakSya hai na apane Apa para koI niyNtrnn| ____ yadi hama svayaM apane Apako itanA sakSama nahIM mAnate ki svayaM vicArapUrvaka apanI rIti-nIti aura dizA taya kara sakeM va anusaraNa karanA hI hamArI niyati ho, majabUrI ho to bhI kyA anusaraNa bhI vicAra pUrvaka nahIM kiyA jAnA cAhie ? kyA hameM supAtroM kA anusaraNa nahIM karanA antardvanda/22

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cAhie ? kyA hama kucha Adarza pAtroM kA cunAva nahIM kara sakate the, jinhoMne apane jIvana ke lakSya nirdhArita kiye the aura phira unhIM lakSyoM ko hAsila karane ke lie apane jIvana kI eka viziSTa zailI nirdhArita kI thI, kucha siddhAntoM kA pAlana kiyA thA ? aura antataH hama bhI una pAtroM ke samAna apane lakSya ko hAsila kara sakate the| hamane anusaraNa bhI kiyA to vaha bhI bhIr3a kA bhArI bhIr3a meM khar3e eka janasAmAnya kI mAnasikatA kA anusaraNa kiyA, usakI hI vicAradhArA apanA lI, usake jaisA hI AcaraNa karane lage, usake jaisI hI kriyAyeMpratikriyAyeM vyakta karane lage; para kyA kabhI vicAra kiyA ki aisA karake hama kyA pA sakeMge ? are aura kyA pA sakeMge bhIr3a kA anusaraNa karake to hama mAtra bhIr3a kA hI hissA bana sakate haiM, eka adanA sA hissA, lAkhoM logoM jaisA; para lAkhoM meM mAtra eka, jisakI zAyada koI ahamiyata hI nahIM, koI ginatI hI nhiiN| are bhIr3a meM hajAroM kI to koI ginatI hI nahIM hotI, hama kahate haiM na ki 10-15 hajAra loga the| mAnoM, jaise 10 hajAra vaise 15 hjaar| 5 hajAra kama yA jyAdA ! kyA pharka par3atA hai ? jina pA~ca-dasa hajAroM kI koI ginatI hI nahIM, hama unameM se eka banakara raha jaayeNge| yadi hama bhIr3a kA anusaraNa kareMge to bhIr3a jaise hI bana pAyeMge, kucha viziSTa nahIM bana skte| yadi hameM anusaraNa hI karanA hai to usa viziSTa vyakti kA anusaraNa kyoM nahIM kareM, jisake irda-girda yaha lAkhoM kI bhIr3a maMDarA rahI hai ? yadi hama viziSTa kA anusaraNa kareM to viziSTa bana sakate haiM; para isa sabake lie to cintana kI AvazyakatA hai na ! daraasala maiMne apane lie vicArapUrvaka koI mArga cunA hI nahIM, basa anjAne hI apane irda-girda jo pAyA, usakA anusaraNa karatA calA gayA aura isI kA pariNAma hai ki Aja maiM isa mukAma para khar3A hU~ / antardvanda / 23

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sArA jIvana gujAra lene ke bAda Aja maiM pAtA hU~ ki jIvana kI upalabdhi ke nAma para Aja mere pAsa aisA kucha bhI nahIM, jisakA do vAkyoM meM bhI bayAna kara skuu| ___ yU~ kahane ko to loga bahuta kucha kahate haiM, mere jIvana kI upalabdhiyoM kA bakhAna karate thakate hI nahIM aura maiM bhI abataka unakI bAtoM meM AtA rhaa| ve bahalAte rahe aura maiM bahalatA rahA, gadgad hotA rahA aura apanI upalabdhiyoM ko, apane Apako mahAna samajhatA rhaa| ThIka una choTe-choTe bAlakoM kI bhAMti jinake kriyA-kalApa na to kisI bhI mAyane meM viziSTa hote haiM aura na hI kisI ke lie koI khAsa mAyane rakhate haiM; phira bhI ve jo bhI harakateM karate haiM, hama bar3e loga unakI sarAhanA karate-karate thakate nahIM va usa sarAhanA se abhibhUta ve bAlaka apanI una bAla sulabha krIr3AoM ko apanI mahAna upalabdhi samajhate rahate haiN| cU~ki jagata unheM upalabdhi mAnatA hai| mAtra isalie yadi mere kriyAkalApoM ko bhI upalabdhiyA~ mAna liyA jAve to bhI ye upalabdhiyA~ mAtra tAtkAlika hI to thIM, unakA koI dIrghakAlika yA traikAlika mahattva to thA nhiiN| jaise ki koI khilAr3I khela khelatA hai va jIta jAtA hai to vaha tabataka hI to vijetA rahatA hai, jabataka ki agalI bAra koI anya khilAr3I na jIta jaave| usakI vaha vijaya dIrghakAlika mahattva nahIM rakhatI; para yadi vijaya prApta karane ke lie koI anaitika AcaraNa kiyA gayA ho to usakA pratiphala lambe samaya taka bhoganA hotA hai| yadi maiMne bhI chala-kapaTa kara yA uThA-paTaka kara tAtkAlika taura para kucha hAsila kara hI liyA to vaha to tAtkAlika taura para apanA choTA-moTA prabhAva utpanna kara naSTa ho gayA, para karmabandhana kI eka ananta zrRMkhalA jo utpanna ho gaI, vaha Aja bhI merA pIchA nahIM chor3atI hai| are vaha dina to nikala hI jAnA thA, na sahI cikanA-cupar3A, rUkhAsUkhA hI sahI, khA-pIkara nikala jaataa| sone ko makhamalI zaiyyA na - antardvanda/24 -

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milatI to kyA rAteM hI na kaTatI ? vo to kaTa hI jAnI thIM, para aba ina karmoM ko maiM kaise kAgA ?. yadi ve dina kucha vaibhavazAlI rUpa meM vyatIta hue to unakA mere Aja ke lie kyA mahattva hai, mere AgAmI anantakAla ke lie kyA mahattva hai? aura isake viparIta yadi abhAvoM meM vyatIta ho jAte, taba bhI mere vartamAna meM kyA kasara raha jAtI va AgAmI anantakAla para kyA duSprabhAva DAlatI? ina kSaNika tAtkAlika mahattva kI vastuoM ke pIche hama apane Apako isaprakAra samarpita kara deM ki hamAre traikAlika tattva bhagavAna AtmA kA bhAvI anantakAla hI saMkaTa meM par3a jAve; mokSasvabhAvI yaha AtmA ananta kAla taka bhavabhramaNa ke lie majabUra ho jAve, yaha kaise ucita ho sakatA hai ? Akhira maiM aisA kaise kara sakatA hU~? ___koI kaha sakatA hai ki tumhArI upalabdhiyA~ naSTa kahA~ huIM, Aja sabhI kucha to sAmane hai| kyA naSTa huA hai? va AgAmI kaI pIr3hiyA~ tumhArI ina upalabdhiyoM ko bhogeMgI na! para ve yaha nahIM samajha pAte ki jisa AgAmI pIr3hI ko ve merI pIr3hI batalA rahe haiM, vaha merI kahA~ hai ? vaha to pudgala kI pIr3hI hai, sacamuca to jIvana ke isa caurAhe para jo kunabA ekatra huA hai; usameM na jAne kauna kahA~ se AyA hai tathA isa tAtkAlika sammelana ke bAda kauna kahA~ calA jAyegA, zAyada phira anantakAla taka, kabhI na milane ke lie| aura hama haiM ki ina sabhI se kitanA gaharA lagAva mahasUsa karane lagate haiN| __traikAlika dRSTi rakhane vAle saMtoM ko hamAre yaha kriyA-kalApa vaise hI bacakAne lagate haiM, jaise hameM una bAlakoM ke kriyAkalApa mahasUsa hote haiM, jo mAtra kucha hI ghaNToM kI rela yAtrA ke daurAna mile hue anya bAlakoM ke sAtha itanA gaharA hArdika va mAnasika saMbaMdha sthApita kara baiThate haiM ki yAtrA kI samApti para unase bichur3ane kA prasaMga Ane para kisI nikaTa saMbaMdhI ke maraNa kI sI chaTapaTAhaTa mahasUsa karane lagate haiM, vilApa karane lagate haiN| antardvanda/25

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bar3e va samajhadAra logoM ke sAtha aisA nahIM hotA; kyoMki ve to pahale se hI jAnate the ki yaha jo samparka sthApita huA hai, yaha to mAtra kSaNika hI hai, na to isase pahale hama unheM jAnate the aura na isake bAda kabhI mileMge; ye loga jAne itanI bar3I duniyA meM kahA~ se Aye haiM va kala kahA~ kho jaaveNge| ___hamArA jo dRSTikoNa relayAtrA ke kSaNika sAthiyoM ke prati hotA hai, jJAniyoM kA vahI dRSTikoNa jIvana yAtrA ke sAthiyoM ke prati bhI hotA hai, kyoMki anAdi-ananta isa AtmA ke jIvana meM yaha 100-50 varSoM kA ekAdha bhava eka dina kI relayAtrA se jyAdA mahattva nahIM rkhtaa| yadi pIr3hiyoM kA hI vicAra karanA hai to merI pIr3hiyA~ to mere AgAmI bhava haiM; jo abhI mujhe bhogane haiN| aba yadi isa pariprekSya meM maiM apane kriyA-kalApoM ko dekhUgA to svayaM apane Apako ThagA huA mahasUsa kruuNgaa| naitika-anaitika tarIkoM se upArjita dhana va jIvana kI anya upalabdhiyA~ to jahA~ kI tahA~ raha jAveMgI va tadjanita karmabandhoM kI zrRMkhalA ananta kAla taka mujhe jakar3e rhegii| kyA yaha apane svayaM ke sAtha svayaM kA chalAvA nahIM hai? yadi hama sacamuca cAhate haiM ki hameM apane isa jIvana meM apanI kaI pIr3hiyoM kA intajAma karanA hai to hameM apanI AtmA kI AgAmI pIr3hiyoM kA intajAma karanA hogaa| hameM intajAma karanA hogA ki anAdikAla se bhavabhramaNa kara rahA yaha AtmA aba zIghra hI isa bhava-bhramaNa se mukta ho| para maiMne yaha kyA kiyA ? jo manuSya jIvana bhava kA abhAva karane kA sAdhana bana sakatA thA; vaha manuSya jIvana bhava-bhavAntaroM taka saMsAra meM hI bane rahane kA intajAma karane meM hI bitA diyaa| aisA nahIM hai ki Aja se pahale maiM AtmA aura pudgala ke svarUpa ko nahIM jAnatA thA yA ki AtmA va zarIra ke sarvathA anyatva ko nahIM pahicAnatA thaa| maiM bar3I acchI taraha jAnatA thA ki yaha AtmA bhinna hai va zarIra bhinn| - antardvanda/26 -

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yaha AtmA maiM hU~ va zarIra hai anya aura manuSya jIvana to AtmA aura zarIra kI eka asamAnajAtIya paryAya hai| para merA yaha jJAna carcA-vArtA ke dharAtala taka hI sImita rahA, maiM isa jJAna ko AtmasAta nahIM kara sakA aura yahI kAraNa rahA ki jIvana bhara maiM apanI AjIvikA ke intajAma meM to lagA rahA, isa mAnavajIvana ke intajAma meM to lagA rahA, aura isase bhI Age bar3hakara isa zarIra kI AgAmI pIr3hiyoM ke intajAma meM bhI DUbA rahA; para maiM isa bhagavAna AtmA ke Ane vAle kala kI hamezA hI anadekhI karatA rhaa| yadi maiM apane antara ko TaTolatA hU~ to pAtA hU~ ki sacamuca jaisA bharosA mujhe apanI isa kSaNika asamAnajAtIya paryAya kA hai, vaisA bharosA traikAlika bhagavAna AtmA kA hai hI nhiiN| hAlAMki isa manuSya jIvana kA koI bharosA nahIM hai, agale dina kI to bAta hI kyA, agale pala kA bhI bharosA nahIM hai, yaha eka anubhavasiddha tathya hai; tathApi maiM isake bAre meM kitanA Azvasta hU~ va niHzaMka hokara paMcavarSIya va paccIsa varSIya yojanAyeM banAtA rahatA hU~, para AtmA kI anAdi-anaMtatA ke bAre meM jAnane ke bAvajUda mujhe isake amaratva kA bharosA nahIM hotaa| ___ kaisI viDaMbanA hai ki jo jIvana itanA anizcita hai; usake bAre meM maiM kitanA Azvasta hU~ va jo mRtyu itanI nizcita hai; usakI mujhe koI paravAha hI nhiiN| ___ hamArI dRSTi itanI sthUla hai ki AtmA kI anAdi-anaMtatA hamArI dRSTi meM hI nahIM aatii| hamArI parikalpanA kA dAyarA bhI itanA saMkIrNa hai ki AtmA kI anAdi-anaMtatA usakI paridhi meM hI nahIM smaatii| hAlAMki, cU~ki zAstroM meM likhA hai va jJAnIjanoM ke mukhArabinda se sunA hai; isalie jisa sImA taka yaha 'anAdi-anaMtatA' kA vicAra hamAre Aja ke kisI kSudra se kSudra svArtha kI siddhi meM Ar3e nahIM AtA, hama usa para bharosA banAye rakhate haiM va yadi Aja kI jIvana zailI meM saba jimmedAriyA~ nibAhane ke - antardvanda/27 -

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bAda yadi kucha thor3A-sA, upekSita-sA khAlI samaya bacA rahA to agale bhava ko dhyAna meM rakhate hue dharma ke nAma para bhI kucha kriyAkANDa kara lete haiM, para sacamuca hama AtmA ke bhaviSya ke bAre meM bilkula bhI gambhIra nahIM hote, jabaki vartamAna jIvana meM tanika bhI pratikUlatA hameM vicalita kara detI hai va usake ilAja ke lie hama kucha bhI karane ko tatpara rahate haiN| kisI se pUchane va pramANa mAMgane kI AvazyakatA hI kyA hai ? hamArI yahI vRtti darzAtI hai ki hameM AtmA kI ajara-amaratA kA bharosA nahIM hai| na to hameM apanI (AtmA kI) anAdi-anantatA kA bharosA hai aura na hI puNya-pApa kaa| ___ hameM isa bAta kA pakkA bharosA hai ki mere bAda mere putra-pautrAdika bhI raheMge va dhana-dhAnyAdika bhI aura isalie hama apane putra-pautra-prapautrAdika ke lie dhana sampatti ko juTAne meM apanA jIvana khapA dete haiM, nItianIti kI paravAha na karate hue aura puNya-pApa se bekhabara rahakara bhii| hAlAMki apanI saMtati ko dhana-daulata de denA bhI hamArI cAhata nahIM, hamArI majabUrI hai; kyoMki hama use apane sAtha le jA nahIM sakate haiN| yadi le jA sakate to jarUra le hI jAte, kucha bhI na chor3a jaate| ____ yU~ kahane mAtra se zAyada hama yaha tathya svIkAra na kareM, para hamArI pravRtti ukta tathya kI svayaM sAkSI hai| hama jabataka jIvita rahate haiM, tabataka apanI samasta sampatti va vyavasAya para svayaM kAbija rahanA cAhate haiM va marane ke bAda ke lie vasIyata banAte haiN| yadi sacamuca hama unake lie hI sabakucha karate to kyA svecchA se apane jIvanakAla meM hI sabakucha unheM na sauMpa dete? ____ dhana-daulata to hamAre sAtha nahIM jAtI, para puNya-pApa jAte haiM; para na to hameM mRtyu ke bAda apane astitva kA bharosA hai aura na hI puNya-pApa kA hii| yadi hotA to hama vartamAna kI lAbha-hAni kA vicAra nahIM karate va puNya-pApAdika ke bandha kA vicAra karake vartamAna kriyAkalApa karate aura isaprakAra hamArI jIvana praNAlI vartamAna jIvana praNAlI se bilkula bhinna antaInda/28 -

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hotI; bilkula viparIta, nizchala, niSkapaTa, pApa rahita pavitraM, zuddha evaM saattvik| ___ kabhI-kabhI to hama apane avicArIpane kI samasta sImAyeM lAMgha jAte haiN| jagata meM aise bhI anekoM loga haiM, jinake pAsa kahane ko bhI koI apane nahIM haiM, jinake putra-pautrAdika nahIM haiM, phira bhI ve jIvanabhara prapaMca meM hI par3e rahate haiN| unase koI pUche ki yaha saba kisalie ? to sambhavataH javAba mile - samAja ke lie, paropakAra ke lie; para kyA yaha apane Apase chalAvA nahIM hai. ? kyA sacamuca Apa yaha saba samAjasevA ke lie kara rahe haiM? yadi aisA hai to apane jIvanakAla meM svayaM kyoM nahIM karate samAjasevA? marane ke bAda cairiTebala TrasTa banA jAnA cAhate haiN| are ! jItejI to svayaM ke upabhoga para bhI vyaya nahIM kara pAte haiM, samAjasevA kI to bAta hI kyA? para marane para to majabUrI hai na, sAtha le jA nahIM sakate aura puNya-pApa kA bharosA nhiiN| isakA matalaba spaSTa hai ki bAta sirpha yahI nahIM hai ki AtmA kI amaratA kA to patA nahIM aura putrAdika pratyakSa dikhAI dete haiM; isalie hama AtmA kI cintA chor3akara putrAdika para mara miTate haiM; balki yathArtha to yaha hai ki putrAdika hoM yA na hoM; para AtmA kI to hameM paravAha hI nhiiN| maiM nahIM jAnatA apane isa avicArIpane ko kyA nAma diyA jAve? hamArI Aja kI jIvana zailI meM ihabhava kI sarvopari prAthamikatA hai va AgAmI bhava atyanta upekSita hai; yadi AtmA kI anAdi-anaMtatA kA bhAva dRr3ha ho jAve to yaha jIvana atyanta upekSita krama para A jAvegA va AtmA ke bhaviSya kA intajAma sarvopari prAthamikatA para A jAvegA aura taba svayameva hI jIvana meM sAdhutA A jaavegii| ___ isaprakAra ke ye yuktisaMgata vicAra maiMne jIvana meM jJAniyoM ke zrImukha se kaI bAra sune haiN| adhika vicAra karane kA avasara to na pA sakA, para prathamadRSTayA inameM koI virodhAbhAsa bhI dikhAI nahIM par3A; phira bhI merI vRtti - antaInda/29

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nahIM bdlii| taba to yuvAvasthA thI va gAraMTI na sahI, mAtra sambhAvanA hI sahI, para Age to sArA jIvana par3A thA aura usake lie mujhe bahuta kucha karanA thA, usa dina kI Arthika paristhitiyoM para vijaya pAkara AgAmI dinoM kI bhI pukhtA vyavasthA karanI thI, para Aja kyA hai ? ___ Aja to maiM isa jIvana kI bhI samasta jimmedAriyoM se balAt mukta kara diyA gayA hU~ aura aba svayaM merI apanI hI nigAha meM apane isa vartamAna jIvana kA koI bhI bhaviSya nahIM hai, yadi bhaviSya kucha ho sakatA hai to mAtra punarjanma meM hI sambhava hai, vaha AtmA kI anAdi-anaMtatA ke svarUpa meM hI chupA hai aura aba bhI agara maiM apane bhaviSya ke prati utanA hI satarka hU~ to mujhe AtmA kI ajara-amaratA kA ni:zaMka nirdhAraNa kara AtmakalyANa kI ora agrasara honA cAhie, para maiM svayaM hI nahIM jAnatA ki Aja kI isa gaphalata ko kyA nAma dU~, burI honahAra ke atirikta aura kyA ho sakatA hai, jo mujhe ukta mArga para calane se rokatA hai| ___sArA dina to dhUla-mATI meM aTakA rahatA hU~, kahIM kisI phUla-pattI meM prakRti kA saccA saundarya najara AtA hai va usakI sambhAla meM laga jAtA hU~, usakI eka-eka zAkha ko sambhAlatA hU~, eka-eka pattI ko sahejatA hU~ aura kabhI ghara ke sAdhAraNa se sAmAna para car3hI dhUla kI mahIna-sI parta bhI mujhe vicalita kara detI hai aura mAno maiM samarpita hI ho jAnA cAhatA hU~, apane ghara meM se dhUla ke unmUlana ke lie; parantu paramazuddha, abaMdhasvabhAvI AtmA para anAdi se car3ha rahI karmaraja kA mujhe vicAra hI nahIM AtA, vaha kabhI merI cintA va cintana kA viSaya hI nahIM bntii| jisaprakAra hama avakAza ke dinoM meM parivAra sahita ghUmane ke lie bambaI jAte haiM, taba jAne se pUrva hI intajAma kara lete haiM ki bambaI meM jAkara kahA~ ThahareMge, kyA khAyeMge, kahA~-kahA~ ghUmeMge, kisa-kisase mileMge ityAdi va ina saba kAmoM ke lie Avazyaka sAmagrI kA intajAma karake calate haiN| mahInoM pUrva Trena kA ArakSaNa karavAte haiM va icchita tArIkha ko - antardvanda/30

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ArakSaNa na milane para apanA kAryakrama kucha dina Age-pIche bhI kara lete haiN| phira sunizcita samaya para taiyAriyoM ke sAtha bambaI ke lie prasthAna karate haiM va vahA~ pahu~cane para bhI sarvaprathama jIvana-jarUrata kI sabhI Avazyaka sAmagrI ke intajAma meM juTa jAte haiM, jaise khAnA-pInA, nahAnA-dhonA, khelanA-kUdanA ityaadi| ___ suvidhApUrvaka nirAkula rahakara sabhI Avazyaka kriyAoM se nivRtta hokara ghUmane-phirane nikalate haiM, eka-eka sthAna para jAnA cAhate haiM va hara kSaNa hara pala kA bharapUra AnaMda lenA cAhate haiM; kyoMki hama Akhira nikale hI plejara Tripa para haiM, Ananda manAne kI yAtrA pr| ___para yadi hameM acAnaka patA lage ki mujhe kensara ho gayA hai va ilAja ke lie bambaI jAnA hogA, taba bhI kyA hama yahI saba kucha kareMge, taba bhI rijarvezana na milane para kAryakrama kucha dinoM ke lie TAla deMge ? nahIM ! yAtrA meM cAhe kucha bhI kyoM na bhugatanA par3e, kitanA hI kaSTa kyoM na uThAnA par3e, turaMta hI bambaI jAne kA upakrama kreNge| ghara para cAhe kitane hI mahattvapUrNa kArya lambita par3e hoM, para unake pUre hone kA intajAra nahIM kareMge ? yaha vicAra bhI nahIM kareMge ki sAtha kauna jAvegA ? bhAI ke cale binA to kAma cala nahIM sakatA aura vaha to kucha dina atyanta vyasta hai; kyoMki sIjana cala rahA hai yA patnI to abhI nikala hI nahIM sakatI; kyoMki bacce kI esa.esa.sI. kI parIkSAyeM haiN| __ ye nahIM to vaha sahI, vaha nahIM to koI aura sahI; yadi koI bhI nahIM to hama hI sahI, para hama turanta hI bambaI ke lie cala par3ate haiN| nikalane se pahale yaha bhI nahIM socate ki ThahareMge kahA~ ? jo hogA so dekhA jaavegaa| bambaI pahu~ca jAne para bhI Thaharane kA intajAma karane se pahale, sTezana se hI DaoNkTara ko phona karake apAinTameMTa le lenA cAhate haiM ki kahIM dera na ho jaave| yadi DaoNkTara turaMta hI bulA leve to hama yaha nahIM kahate ki abhI - antardvanda/31

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to kaise A sakatA hU~, abhI to Thaharane kA intajAma karanA hai, khAne-pIne kA intajAma karanA hai aura phira maiM koI akelA thor3e hI hU~, anya loga bhI to mere sAtha Aye haiM, ve bhI sirpha mere lie hI, apane-apane mahattvapUrNa kAma chodd'kr| una sabakI jimmedArI bhI to mere Upara hI hai; ata: una sabakI, saba AvazyakatAoM kA intajAma karake phira AU~gA samaya milane pr| ___ balki turanta sabhI ko sTezana para hI chor3akara hama DaoNkTara ke pAsa pahu~cate haiM aura yadi DaoNkTara kahe to turaMta hI aspatAla meM bhartI bhI ho jAte haiM, sabhI sAtha AnevAloM ko unake hAla para chor3akara; aura to aura svayaM apane Apako ko, unakI jimmedArI para chodd'kr| taba hameM vicAra bhI nahIM AtA ki maiM bhartI ho jAU~gA to una sabakA kyA hogA ? aba itanI dUra Aye haiM to bambaI bhI ghumAnI hI hogI, nahIM to ve kyA soceMge? / hama svayaM to kisI kA vicAra karate hI nahIM, sAtha Aye anya loga bhI usakA burA nahIM mAnate; kyoMki ve sabhI jAnate haiM ki ve bambaI kyoM Aye haiM ? sabhI kA ekamAtra lakSya hai marIja ke marja kA ilAja, vaha bhI hara kImata pr| Thaharane kA ThIka se paryApta intajAma ho yA na ho, khAnA samaya para . mile yA na mile, kapar3e dhuleM yA na dhuleM, una para presa ho yA na ho; para ilAja honA cAhie, usameM koI kamI nahIM honI caahie| _ gA~va meM sarvasuvidhAsampanna ghara khAlI par3A rahatA hai, para ghara kA mAlika atyanta vipannatA meM bambaI meM par3A rahatA hai; para isa vipannatA se ghabarAkara svapna meM bhI vaha suvidhA sampanna ghara para lauTane kA vicAra nahIM karatA; kyoMki gA~va kI Aja kI vaha suvidhA use mauta ke mArga para le jA sakatI hai va bambaI kI yaha asuvidhA jIvana kA mArga prazasta karatI hai| na to marIja svayaM aura na hI usake sahacArI, koI nahIM socatA ki maiM bambaI meM rahane vAle apane usa purAne mitra yA saMbaMdhI se to milA hI nahIM, jAne vaha kyA socegA, kitanA burA mAnegA ? nahIM ! kucha bhI soce, kucha bhI mAne, cAhe to yahA~ milane A jAveM, na cAhe to na aaveN| A bhI jAve antardvanda/32

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to kauna unase cAya-pAnI kI pU~che? ho na ho A~kha kholakara unakI ora dekhane kA bhI vikalpa Ave yA na Ave ? kyoMki hamArI yaha bambaI yAtrA mauja-zauka ke lie nahIM, jagata kA vyavahAra nibhAne ke lie nahIM, varan jIvana rakSA ke lie hai| vahI hamArA eka mAtra prayojana hai, anya kucha bhI nahIM; jagata kI va jIvana kI anya sabhI kriyAyeM, jaba va jaisI svayameva saMcAlita hoM to hoM, na hoM to na hoM; hama unase sadA nirapekSa hI rahate haiN| yadi hama bambaI Akara bhI pahale apane ilAja para to dhyAna na deM va ina samasta vyavahAroM va vyAvahArikatAoM meM hI ulajha jAyeM to kyA hogA ? saba vyavahAra bhI yahIM chUTa jAvegA va deha bhI chUTa jAvegI; saba kucha chUTa jAvegA, naSTa ho jaavegaa| aura yadi vyavahAra meM na par3akara apanA ilAja karaleM to phira sArA jIvana to par3A hai vyavahAra nibhAne ke lie, ghUmanephirane ke lie va suvidhAoM kA upabhoga karane ke lie| isalie marIja ke lie to mAtra svayaM hI svayaM ke lie atyaMta mahattvapUrNa vyakti hai, DaoNkTara hI usakA ArAdhya hai va aspatAla hI mahAnatama tIrtha aura sampUrNa svastha honA hI usakA eka mAtra lakSya hai; bAkI jagata kA atyanta mahattvapUrNa kArya usake lie kucha bhI nahIM va bambaI nagara kA sArA manohara-saundarya usake lie kucha bhI nhiiN| __ anAdikAla se bhavabhramaNa ke AtmaghAtI mahAroga se pIr3ita yaha AtmA saMyoga se yaha mAnava paryAya pA gayA hai, jisameM isa duScakra se chUTane kA puruSArtha sambhava hai| yahI nahIM, hama apane isa mahAroga ko pahicAna bhI gae haiM va dUra karane kA upAya bhI upalabdha hai, taba bhI yadi hama mAtra apane isI jIvana kI suvidhAoM kA intajAma karane meM hI vyasta raheM, tatsaMbaMdhI vyavahAroM ko nibhAne meM hI lage raheM; taba kyA hamArI sthiti vaisI hI nahIM hogI, jaisI ki kaiMsara kA ilAja karavAne ke lie bambaI AyA marIja, sirpha rahane, - antardvanda/33

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khAne aura vyavahAra nibhAne ke intajAmoM meM hI vyasta ho jAve va DaoNkTara se samparka karane kA use avakAza hI na mile| jisane apane roga ko pahicAnA hai va usa roga ke pariNAmoM ko jAnA hai; usakI isaprakAra kI pravRtti sambhava hI nahIM hai| para yadi aisA avasara pAkara bhI yadi hama isa bhavabhramaNa se chUTane mAtra ke upAya meM isa jIvana ko samarpita nahIM kara dete to isakA matalaba hai ki bhavabhramaNa ke duHkhoM kI bhayAnakatA se hama paricita hI nahIM haiM, hameM bhavoM ke du:khoM kI na to smRti hI hai aura na hI parikalpanA va tatsaMbaMdhI AcAryoM va manISiyoM ke vacanoM kA bhI hameM bharosA nahIM hai| prANaghAtaka kensara se prANoM kI rakSA ke lie samarpita ho gayA marIja aba banAva zrRMgArAdika meM rata nahIM rhtaa| zRMgArAdika meM rata rahane kI to bAta hI kyA, usa ora usakA dhyAna bhI nahIM jaataa| zrRMgArAdika to dUra vastrAdika se bhI alipta ho jAtA hai| bAjAra jAkara navInatama calana ke vastroM ke cunAva kI to bAta kyA; para svayaM ke pAsa upalabdha vastroM ko bhI ThIkaprakAra se pahinane kI ruci nahIM rahatI, sAmAnyajanoM ko prathama nigAha meM UMTapaTAMga se lagane vAle DhIle-DhAle beDaula se vastra basa yUM hI zarIra para DAla bhara letA hai; DAla bhI kyA letA hai, yadi sAthI-sahacara balAt hI na DAla deM to zAyada........... ___ vastra to vastra bhojanAdika kI bhI ruci kahA~ rahatI hai ? ruci na rahanA eka bAta hai va aruci ho jAnA duusrii| use to bhojana grahaNa ke prati aruci ho jAtI hai| svayaM bhojana grahaNa kA to bhAva hI nahIM AtA hai, anya sAmAnya logoM ke manAne para bhI bhojana svIkAra nahIM karatA hai| atyanta nikaTa ke priyajana jaba bhAMti-bhAMti samajhAte haiM, mAna-manuhAra karate haiM to ananta upekSA pUrNa DhaMga se apanI zartoM para thor3A-bahuta grahaNa kara letA hai, usameM bhI yadi bhojana karate hue bIca meM kucha bhI vyavadhAna A jAye to phira alipta ho jAtA hai| - antardvanda/34 -

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usakA dhyAna to basa apane jIvana kI rakSA ke upAyoM para hI kendrita banA rahatA hai, yadi kucha kAla ke lie usa dhyAna se cyuta bhI ho jAtA hai to phira turanta hI upayoga vahA~ pahu~ca jAtA hai| isa bIca yadi koI mitra, parijana, milane A pahu~ce to yadi udhara lakSya jAve to thor3I bAta kara le, yadi na jAve to na kare; vaha vyAvahArikatA se pare ho jAtA hai, jagata ke vyavahAra kI use cintA nahIM rhtii| ___yadi zarIra kI rakSA ke lie sampUrNataH samarpita vyakti zarIra kI sambhAla kI ora se itanA nispRha aura nirIha ho jAtA hai to AtmakalyANa kI tIvra bhAvanA vAle AtmajJAnI, AtmArthI kI dazA (munidazA) ke bAre meM saMdeha kaisA ? kyA Azcarya hai ki usake tana ke vastra chUTa hI jAyeM, use snAna va daMtadhovana kA vikalpa bhI na Ave, nidrA nAmamAtra raha jAve, sAmAnya rUpa se to bhojana kA vikalpa hI na Ave va kadAcit vikalpa Ane para zrAvaka dvArA navadhAbhaktipUrvaka par3agAhane para va pratijJAbaddharUpa se zuddhi kI ghoSaNA karane para atyanta arucipUrvaka thor3A AhAragrahaNa ho, usameM bhI mAmUlI-sI ghaTanA antarAya kA nimitta bana jaave| yA to upayoga Atmastha hI banA rahe yA yadi kucha paloM ke lie AtmA se cyuta bhI ho to khaTaka banI hI rhe| pUjA karane vAloM ko AzIrvAda dene kA bhAva bhI Ave to Ave yA na bhI aave| aisI yaha dhanya munidazA saMsAra kI niHsAratA kI svIkRti kI parAkASThA hai| yaha dhanya munidazA yadi isa jIvana meM sthApita ho jAtI to yaha jIvana sArthaka ho jAtA, para abhI jIvana meM Ane kI to bAta hI kahA~, abhI to yaha munidazA merI kalpanA meM bhI nahIM AtI hai ? isa jIva kI aisI dazA bhI ho sakatI hai, itanI vItarAgI, itanI alipta, itanI nirIha, itanI niSkAma? yaha bAta merI kalpanA ko bhI svIkAra nahIM ho pAtI hai, Adhe mana se gardana to hilatI rahatI hai; para eka zaMkA va hicaka banI hI rahatI hai| antardvanda/35

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para yaha hicaka va jhijhaka kabataka calegI ? Akhira kabataka ? na jAne kitane loka lubhAvana bahAne banAkara maiM jIvana bhara yaha antima nirNaya lene se bacatA rahA; ise eka aura kala taka ke lie TAlatA rhaa| pahale to phira bhI AzA banI hI rahatI thI, ki eka aura kala mere jIvana meM AvegA, eka suhAnI subaha AvegI tAjagI va sphUrti se bharapUra / eka nayA sUraja ugegaa| para aba Aja jaise-jaise eka-eka dina vyatIta hotA jA rahA hai, yaha sambhAvanA hI prabala hotI jA rahI hai ki ho na ho yaha mere jIvana kA antima dina hI ho| hara dina jaba maiM DhalatA huA sUraja dekhatA hU~ to vitRSNA se bhara uThatA hU~, usameM jhalakatA huA apanA bimba dikhAI detA hai, pratipala kSINa hotA usakA teja, aba mujhe svIkAra nahIM hotA; kyoMki maiM bhI to pratipala isItaraha DhalatA jA rahA huuN| usa tejahIna Dhalate hue sUraja kabhI bharapUra nirakha lene kI merI tRSNA aba atyanta balavatI ho gaI hai, ho na ho phira kabhI mere isa jIvana meM tejasvI sUraja uge yA na uge / jaba maiM yuvA thA, taba to eka bar3I duvidhA merA rAstA roka letI thii| eka ora merA yaha jIvana, ghara-parivAra va usakI jvalaMta samasyAyeM, jo spaSTa va pratyakSa thIM aura dUsarI ora adRzya AtmA aura usakA tathAkathita kAlpanika bhAvI anantakAla / taba maiM kise sambhAlatA va kisakI upekSA krtaa| yadi maiM AtmA ko mahattva dene kA mana banAtA, to merA hI antarmana pukAra uThatA ki kAlpanika bhaviSya ke lie apane sAkSAt vartamAna ko dAva para lagA denA cAhate ho tum| aura maiM tatkSaNa hI ruka jAtA, bhalA mujhase behatara yaha kauna jAna sakatA hai ki AtmA ke prati, svayaM apane prati merA yaha soca va vyavahAra mere mAyAcAra kI parAkASThA haiN| maiM svayaM svayaM para hI praznacihna lagAtA rahA, svayaM ke hone se, svayaM ke bhaviSya se hI inkAra karatA rahA ! para merI yaha duvidhA to bIte kala kI bAta hai, taba to merI vartamAna manuSya paryAya kA 'vistRta vartamAna' bhI thA va 'sapanoM kA bhaviSya' bhI aura usake lie to maiM kyA - kyA kara sakatA thA, kyA-kyA karanA cAhie thA antardvanda / 36 .

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aura kyA-kyA kara pAyA, kyA na kara pAyA; usake samasta pariNAma to sAmane haiM, para Aja kI to bAta hI kucha aura hai| Aja 75 varSa kI isa umra meM na to maiM vartamAna meM hI prAsaMgika raha gayA hU~ aura na hI merA koI bhaviSya hai / aba yadi karane ko kucha raha jAtA hai to vaha hai mAtra isa anAdi anaMta AtmA ke bhaviSya kA intajAma; para yaha koI sAdhAraNa kAma to hai nhiiN| yaha to atyanta puruSArtha aura sAvadhAnI kA kArya hai| sacce mArga kI samajha, sacce guru kI khoja, nirantara tattva abhyAsa, svAdhyAya va stsNg| ina sabhI gatividhiyoM ke lie: to bharapUra urjA kI AvazyakatA hai; aba Aja maiM yaha saba karanA bhI cAhU~ to kaise kara pAU~gA / Aja to maiM apanI dainika jIvana kI Avazyaka kriyAyeM bhI svataMtra pane kara pAne meM sakSama nahIM hU~, taba AtmA ke anantakAla ke paribhramaNa ko nAza karane kA puruSArtha kaise kara pAU~gA ? yahI bAta yadi daza-bIsa varSa pahale samajha meM A jAtI, yadi maiM taba samajha pAtA ki isa mAnava paryAya kA 10-20 varSa kA bhaviSya koI aisA mahatvapUrNa nahIM hai, jisakI sambhAla meM yaha jIvana jhoMka diyA jAya / isa jIvana kA pratyeka pala to apane bhAvI anantakAla kA intajAma karane ke lie hai, to kyA Aja maiM usa mukAma para khar3A nahIM hotA; jahA~ se mukti kA mArga, mujhase atyanta samIpa hI hotA / sArA jIvana to gorakhadhaMdhe meM bIta hI gayA va vartamAna bItA jA rahA hai| usake lekhe-jokhe meM, avasAda meM; merA bhaviSya bhI kyA hogA ? yadi aba bhI saba kucha aisA hI calatA rahA to kyA merA ananta bhaviSya bhI, ananta andhakAra meM kho nahIM jAvegA ? taba maiM kyA karU~ ? abataka vigata ke lie bilakhA, kyA aba Agata ke lie krandana karU~ ? kyA krandana hI merI niyati hai ? nahIM! nahIM !! kadApi nahIM !!! Aja jaba maiMne AtmA kI athAha anantatA ko svIkAra kara hI liyA antardvanda / 37

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hai; taba 100-50 varSoM ke lie aphasosa kaisA ? sirpha yahI 100-50 varSa to barbAda nahIM hue haiM, anAdikAla se Aja taka sabhI kucha to isItaraha bItA hai to kyA anantakAla taka rotA hI rahU~gA? jisataraha anAdi se kala taka 'anantakAla' bItA thA, vaise hI eka aura 'Aja' bIta gayA; usa anantakAla ke sAmane isa eka dina yA 10050 varSoM kI kyA ahamiyata hai ki aba usake cintana meM maiM apane AgAmI anantakAla ko aura andhakAramaya banA ddaaluuN| aura phira luTa kyA gayA hai? yaha mAnavadeha bhale hI kucha dinoM kI sahI, para merA to anantakAla par3A hai na, AtmA to anantakAla taka rahegAna; aura anAdi ke andhakAra ko miTAne ke lie anantakAla kI AvazyakatA hI kahA~ hai ? antarmuhUrta meM jJAna sUrya udita ho jAve to anAdi kA andhakAra bhAga jAtA hai, vilIna ho jAtA hai| . jisakI antarmuhUrta kI ArAdhanA, anAdi kI virAdhanA ko niSphala kara detI hai; aisA eka, akhaNDa-ananta, anAdi-ananta bhagavAna AtmA maiM svayaM hI to hU~ aura yU~ to anantakAla par3A hai, usakI upAsanA ke lie; para isa vartamAna manuSya paryAya meM bhI to aise anaginata antarmuhUrta abhI zeSa . haiM, jo anAdi kI dhArA ko mor3a dene meM samartha haiM; taba krandana kaisA, pazcAtApa ko avakAza hI kahA~ hai ? "It is never too late" abhI bhI dera nahIM huI hai| anAdi-ananta isa AtmA ke jIvana meM dera to kabhI hotI hI nhiiN| jaba jAga jAo, tabhI hai sberaa| . aba to kala se hI mujhe juTa jAnA hogA, isa maMgala abhiyAna meM saMsAra ko sudhArane ke nahIM, saMsAra ko kATane ke abhiyAna meN| ____ para kala se kyoM ? yadi hama hamezA hI kala taka kA hI intajAra karate rahe to kauna jAne isa eka samaya ke vartamAna va usa svarNima kala ke bIca kitanA phAsalA banA rhe| mujhe to juTa jAnA hai, Aja se hii| sirpha Aja se hI nahIM; abhI se, abhI se| - antardvanda/38 -

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DaoN. hukamacanda bhArilla cairiTebala TrasTa : eka paricaya DaoN. hukamacanda bhArilla cairiTebala TrasTa kI sthApanA 25 maI san 1995 ko devalAlI (mahA.) meM DaoN. bhArilla ke 61veM janmadivasa para kI gaI thii| unakI SaSTipUrti ke avasara para jaba pU. kAnajI svAmI smAraka TrasTa, devalAlI dvArA unheM 60 hajAra kI dhanarAzi bheMTa kI gaI thI, taba unake parivAra ne 2 lAkha 40 hajAra usameM aura milAkara tIna lAkha kI dhanarAzi se yaha TrasTa sthApita kiyA thaa| sAtha hI yaha ghoSaNA kI thI ki isa TrasTa meM unake parivAra ke sivA kisI anya kI dhanarAzi nahIM lI jaayegii| cU~ki isa TrasTa kA gaThana eka vidvAna ke sammAna kI pradatta rAzi se huA thA; ata: yaha saMkalpa kiyA gayA ki sarvaprathama isa TrasTa ke mAdhyama se vidvAnoM kA sammAna hI prAraMbha kiyA jaave| ___isa zRMkhalA meM abataka DaoN. uttamacandajI sivanI, paNDita abhayakumArajI zAstrI jabalapura, bra. abhinandakumArajI zAstrI khaniyAMdhAnA, DaoN. mahAvIrakumArajI jaina udayapura tathA azokakumArajI luhAr3iyA alIgar3ha ko sammAnita kiyA jA cukA hai| isa sammAna meM dasa hajAra rupae kI nakada rAzi, zAla, nAriyala, mAlyArpaNa evaM prazasti-patra pradAna kara sammAnita kiyA jAtA hai| isake atirikta zrI akhila bhAratavarSIya di. jaina vidvatpariSad kI ora se guru gopAladAsa baraiyA evaM gaNeza varNI puraskAra die jAte haiM / ina puraskAroM meM pA~ca hajAra rupae, zAla, nAriyala, mAlyArpaNa evaM puraskAra pradAna kiye jAte haiN| ina donoM puraskAroM kA vyaya bhI DaoN. hukamacanda bhArilla cairiTebala TrasTa dvArA hI vahana kiyA jAtA hai| yaha puraskAra abhI taka DaoN. vIrasAgara jaina, adhyakSa : jainadarzana vibhAga, lAlabahAdura zAstrI vizvavidyAlaya, dillI evaM DaoN. puSarAja jaina, dillI ko diyA gayA hai| DaoN. bhArilla kI janmabhUmi baraudA svAmI ke jinamaMdira meM eka vItarAga-vijJAna svAdhyAya bhavana kA nirmANa bhI isI TrasTa ne karavAyA hai, jisameM lagabhaga 2 lAkha rupaye kI rAzi vyaya huI hai| aba isa TrasTa ke mAdhyama se sAhitya prakAzana kA kArya bhI prAraMbha kiyA gayA hai| prathama puSpa ke rUpa meM aruNakumAra jaina dvArA likhita rAjasthAna vizvavidyAlaya se svIkRta laghu zodha prabandha 'DaoN. hukamacanda bhArilla aura unakA kathA sAhitya' ke prakAzana ke uparAnta yaha dvitIya puSpa antardvanda' Apake hAthoM meM hai| _ - paNDita ratanacanda bhArilla

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paramAtmaprakAza bhArilla kA janma azokanagara (ma.pra.) meM 30 sitambara san 1959 meM huaa| Apa vikhyAta lekhaka, cintaka va pravacanakAra DaoN. hukamacanda bhArilla ke jyeSTha putra haiN| rAjasthAna vizvavidyAlaya se Apane bIesa.sI. kI zikSA grahaNa kI hai| yUM to Apa vartamAna meM mumbaI meM hIroM ke AyAta-niryAta ke kArobAra meM saMlagna haiM tathApi alpavaya se hI sAmAjika-dhArmika gatividhiyoM se jur3e rahe haiN| vyavasAya hetu prativarSa anekoM bAra videza yAtrAoM ke atirikta samaya-samaya para pravacanArtha deza-videza kI yAtrAyeM karate rahe haiN| IF Apa akhila bhAratIya jaina yuvA phaiDarezana ke rASTrIya mahAmaMtrI haiN| paNDita ToDaramala smAraka TrasTa, jayapura evaM zrI mahAvIra svAmI kundakunda kahAna di. jaina mumukSu maNDala borIvalI mumbaI ke TrasTI tathA DaoN. hukamacanda bhArilla cairiTebala TrasTa ke mahAmaMtrI haiN| prastuta kRtilekhaka kI prathama prakAzita racanA hai| abhiruciyA~ : cintana, manana, lekhana, paThanapAThana va kAvya rcnaa| __AgAmI kRtiyA~ : mRtyumahotsava, jIvana kA vaibhava (nibandha), smkit| samparka: 1304, sanaphleza, RSi kAmpleksa, helIkrosa ror3a, AI. sI. kaoNlonI, vorIvalI (pazcima), mumbaI-400103 phona : 28931983, 28941267 mobAIla : 9870016988 phaiksa :28946429 kAryAlaya : 11, pApUlara ArkeDa, TATA ror3a naM. 1, oNperA hAUsa, mumbaI - 400004 phona : 23696084, 23669613, 23666247 Email : anekant@bsnl.com