Santbal Patra Sudha

Author(s): Santbal
Publisher: Navjivan Prakashan Mandir
Catalog link: https://jainqq.org/explore/008092/1

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- . . che " . " vika : : : : ja. :- jamIna saMtabAla pagasudhA: 1 E te mane

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sAdhaka-sevikA kAzIbahenane saMpAdaka aMbubhAI zAha 1 b navajIvana prakAzana maMdira amadAvAda 380 014

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mudraka ane prakAzaka jitendra ThAkArabhAI desAI navajIvana mudraNAlaya, amadAvAda-380 014 mahAvIra sAhitya prakAzana maMdira, 1983 prathama AvRtti prata 1000 : kiMmata : sAta rUpiyA eprila, 1983

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prakAzakanuM nivedana bhAvanaLakAMThA prAyagika saMghe munizrI saMtabAlajInA sAhityano janatAmAM bahoLo pracAra thAya e jAtanuM sAhitya pragaTa karavAnI janA navajIvana samakSa rajU karI hatI. A yojanA anusAra A pahelAM munizrInAM - "sarvadharma prArthanA pIyUSa tathA "saMtabAla - mArI mA" e pustaka pragaTa thaI cUkyAM che. saMtabAla patrasudhA : " e munizrIne pitAnA prayoga kSetra - bhAla naLakAMThAmAM je sauthI prathama sAthI kAryakartAo maLyAM ne zrI cheTubhAI ane temanAM putrI bahena kAzIbahena uparanA pAne saMgraha che. kAzIbahene kaumAryavrata svIkArI munizrInA kAryane jIvana samarpita karyuM, te munizrIe eka keLavaNIkAranI adAthI temanuM pratyakSa ane patro dvArA jIvanaghaDatara karyuM. ahIM patrane prAraMbha kAzIbahenanA abhyAsakALathI eTale ke 5-11-38thI zarU thaI 14-1-' e pUro thAya che. jaina sAdhunI pitAnI pUrepUrI maryAdA jALavavA chatAM munizrIne bahenanA ghaDataramAM keTale badhe rasa hate enuM A patro pramANa che. A jotAM sAmAnya vAcako mATe paNa A pustaka upagI thaI paDaze. e rIte A patra saMgraha mahattvane banI rahe che.

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sevAmUrti tamArA sevAbhAva tA netrayajJa hAya ke prasUti-pIDA-nivAraNu heAya; rAhata aMgenA phaMDathI mAMDIne nAnAM moTAM mAM kAryo ke dezanA keAI bhAgamAM sevA mATenuM teDuM hAya, athavA nAvaDA ke khIje athavA dilhI zuddhiprayAga hoya, paNa A sevAmUrti kANukhA te doDIne pahAMcI ja javAnAM ... sevAmUrti tA tame nAnI uMmarathI thavA lAgyAM che ane jiMdagInA aMta sudhI sevAmUrti raheze ! emAM zaMkA nathI. sadbhAgye tamArI jAgRti paNa vadhatI jatI joI khUba saMtASa thAya che. . . . ... (patramAMthI saMkalita) saMtamAla

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saMpAdakIya munizrI saMtabAlajIe ghaNuM lakhyuM che, ghaNuM kahyuM che. jIvananAM mUlyamAM preraNA ane mArgadarzana ApatuM rahe evuM enuM sthAyI mUlya paNa che. paraMtu emAMye emanAM lakhANamAM emaNe je patra lakhyA che, ane kahevAmAM, vyaktigata vAtacItamAM vArtAlApamAM je kahyuM che tenuM mUlya te kaMIka aneruM ja che. jemanA para pa lakhAyA che ane jemaNe pratyakSa rUbarUmAM vAtacIta karI che temanA anubhavane e viSaya che. emanA pa ke vAtacItanI vANuM eTalAM te hRdayasparzI banatAM ke jijJAsu vAcanAra ane jijJAsu sAMbhaLanAranA jIvananuM ghaDatara avyaktapaNe thatuM ja rahetuM. jema saMparka vadhu tema patra lakhavAnA ke rUbarUmAM maLIne vAtacIta karavAnA prasaMga paNa vadhu Ave e svAbhAvika che. choTubhAI (choTAlAla vasanajI mahetA) ane emanAM putrI kAzIbahena e baMne jaNe emanuM AkhuM jIvana munizrI prerita bhAla naLakAMThA prayogane samajapUrvaka arpaNa karyuM che. A pitA-putrIne munizrIe lakhelA patramAMthI keTalAka patro ahIM A pustakamAM pragaTa karavAmAM AvyA che. patranuM lakhANa sAduM, saraLa, spaSTa, sIdhuM ane sacoTa che. e vize koI vizeSa ullekha karavAnI ahIM jarUra jaNAtI nathI. ahIM te eTaluM ja lakhavuM prastuta ke prAsaMgika gaNAze ke A patra dvArA preraNuMnuM pAna karIne ke pathapradarzaka prakAza pAmIne A pitA-putrIe pitAnAM jIvana dhanya banAvyAM che. ane jIvana sAphalyane AtmAnaMda Aje paNa anubhavatA hoya ema emanA jivAtA jIvananA sAkSI banavAnuM sadbhAgya amArA jevAne maLyuM che. enA parathI ema paNa joI zakAya che ke, "jIvana kharekhara te eka sAdhanA che."

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mANasa game te kSetramAM kAma karato hoya, pachI te nokarI dhaMdho hoya ke jAhera kArya hoya, paNa je jIvana jIvavAnuM keI cakkasa lakSa, hetu, dhyeya spaSTa ane nizcita karI lIdhuM hoya, ane ene anurUpa jIvana jIvavAnI prAmANika IcchA hoya che te kudarata ene mATe sAnukULa paristhiti nirmANa karI ApatI ja hoya che. yogya evA koI zraddheya puruSa, sadguru paNa maLI ja rahe che. cheTubhAIe 51 varSanI pIDhavaye ane kAzIbahene 20 varSanI yuvAnavaye ja potAnA jIvanane hetu spaSTa samajI lIdhe. nizcita paNa karI nAkhyo. kAzIbahenanA avivAhita rahevAnA vicArane pitA choTubhAI, mAtA samaratabA, meTAbhAI dhIrubhAI vagere vaDIlee saMmati ApI, protsAhana ApyuM. pitA-putrInA jAhera sevAkAryanA laganane parivAranAM nAnAM moTAM sau sabhyoe dilapUrvaka sAtha sahakAra ane tana, mana dhana - sAdhanathI madada ApI, te bIjI tarapha munizrI jevA guru maLI gayA. ane A guru evA ke te pitAnI jAtane koInAye gurupade sthApe nahIM ke koIneya ziSya tarIke svIkArIne cela ke sAdhu banAve nahIM. ane chatAM jemaNe emane guru mAnyA tenA jIvanavikAsanI javAbadArI mAnI, enI ciMtA seve, e dRSTie patro lakhe, vAte kare, protsAhana Ape, cetave, sAvadha rAkhe. paNa A badhuM kare "mA"nA vAtsalyabhAvathI. mA bALakanA hitamAM jarUra paDaze kaDavI davA to bALakane pAya, paNa poteya carI - parejI pALe che ema kazA ja beja vinA, dekhAva vinA, sahaja rIte A badhuM thayA kare ane jIvanaghaDatara thatuM rahe.

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Akhare te sahue pitApitAne tuMbaDe ja taravAnuM hoya che, paNa emAM A rIte nimittarUpa banI zakAya. cheTubhAIne Aje temAM be khUTe che. ATha varSathI pUrI nivRtti laI vaDedarA parivAra sAthe rahe che. kAzIbahenane 65 varSa thayAM. gUMdI Azrama ane bhAlanaLakAMThA prayoganI nAnI moTI tamAma pravRttimAM rasa laI, sakriya kAma karI rahyAM che. A umare khaDatala rahyAM che. pitAputrI baMne jIvanabhara jijJAsu sAdhaka rahyAM che, jIvanane sAdhanAmaya banAvI mUkayuM che. emAM munizrInA satsaMgane pratyakSa ane parokSa-phALAne mukhya hise rahyo che. patro lakhAyA che te kAzIbahena ane cheTubhAIne uddezIne paNa je kaI vAMcaze tene emAMthI jIvanapAtheya maLI zake tema che. - bhAla naLakAMThA prayogamAM pratyakSa sevAkArya karIne te A pitAputrIe pragane gauravAti banAvI zobhA ja che. paNa emanA uparanA A patra pustakarUpe pragaTa karavAnI taka ApIne bhA. na. prayoganA vAcakenA ane samAjajIvananA ghaDataramAM amUlya phALo Ape che ema kahevAmAM kazI atyukti nathI thatI ema A pustakanA vAcana parathI sahu koI joI zakaze, ema kahetAM saheja paNa khacakATa thato nathI. gAMdhI zrAddhadina, aMbubhAI zAha 12- 283

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sadA vimala kuTira,* tA. 5-11-'38 vahAlAM unnatahRdayA kAzIbahena, rejanIzI saLaMga joI gaye chuM. AvuM anukaraNa badhI bahene kare e suyogya che. A mArge vicAra ane vivekane vadhu ne vadhu saMbhava raheluM che. pite kyAM che ? evI pitAnI jAtanuM AbehUba nirIkSaNa noMdhapothI jarUra karAvI zake, je bALaka jevI nikhAlasatAthI ene vaphAdAra rahevAya to! mAtAo svayaM tyAgamUrti to che ja. Teka pALavAnI tamannA mana para le te teomAM tyAga ajoDa hoya che. mAtAomAM samajaNa UbharAya te jagatanI athaDAmaNamAM adhe ghaTADe thAya. niMdA ane IrSAne badale ApaNuM strI jAtinI kaI niMdA karatuM hoya, to paNa ApaNane sAcI zarama lAgavI joIe. eve TANe ApaNe ciDAI na jaIe, paNa UlaTAM vadhu namra ane vivekI thaI bolanAranA hRdayamAM ApaNI saraLatAnI suMdara chApa pADIe, te sAme thavA karatAM AvA vartanathI ApaNe ApaNuM strI jAtinI vadhu sevA karIzuM. puruSonI sahAnubhUti ane sadbhAva ApaNA pratye jAgRta karavAne e saphaLa upAya che. ApaNI AsapAsanA vAtAvaraNane ApaNe tyAre ja asara * munizrIe 1938nuM comAsuM vAghajIpurA gAme ke je amadAvAda-bAvaLA roDa upara Avela che. tyAM eka kuTiramAM karyuM hatuM. saM.5-1

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upajAvI zakIe, ke jyAre emanI badhI bhUlene Topale ApaNe mAthe oDhI emane premanAM AMsuthI bhIMjavI AnaMti karI zakIe! sAcAbolAM te thavuM ja joIe; naitika hiMmata rAkhavI ja joIe paNa eTaluM ja basa nathI; bIjAnA dene samULagA sudhArI zakIe teTalAM prabaLa premI ane dhIrajavALAM thavuM ghaTe che. ane ApaNe evAM te tyAre ja banI zakIe ke jyAre ApaNI bhUla koI sthaLa cakSuvALAe na jANuM hoya, tyAre paNa ApaNane e bhUlane pastA thAya ane e pastAvAne pariNAme jenI bhUla thaI hoya, enI pAse jaI dilanI kSamA mAgI haLavAM thaIe. ane bIjAnI bhUlane gaLI jaI nirdoSa premanA ajaba jAduthI e bhUla karanArane vagara belve mArga para lAvIe. uparanuM aMtara lakhANa lakhatI veLA huM mAtRhRdayanI nikaTa jaIne sajAtIyatAnI lAgaNIe lakhuM chuM, enuM mane bhAna thAya che. sarvatra sau zAMti pAme. saMtabAla? 1939 bahenabA, - tamAruM bhAvi tame jANatAM nathI, paraMtu tame e ghaDI ja rahyAM che. tamArA para sau ghaNI ucca koTInI AzAthI joI rahyAM che. tamArAmAM aneka kALathI siMcAyelI saMskAritA che ane gyatA paNa

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ThIka ThIka khIlI UThI che. tamee sayAjIgaMjanA vyAkhyAna pachIthI prazna pUchelA, te parathI priya choTubhAIne kadAca lAgeluM haze. emaNe A paratve huM kaMIka tamane lakhuM evI IcchA paNa rAkhI hatI. khAsa te tamArI mAgaNa vinA zuM lakhuM ? paraMtu AvatI kAlanA yuganuM ghaDatara thaze, temAM tamAre upayogI thavuM rahyuM che, ane te mATe pUrepUrI namratA, puruSajAti pratye samabhAva, strI jAti pratye samarpaNa, brahmacaryanI zuddha niSThA ane aMtaraMga tathA bahiraMga saMyama e aMge keLavavAM paDaze. tamAre A sevAlakSI abhyAsa gAmaDAMone upayegI thaI paDe e dRSTi bhUlaze nahi ja. seMdhathI rAkhatAM haze ane niyamita lakhavAnuM cAlu karyuM haze tema mAnuM chuM. prArthanA te niyamita thAya ja che. tyAMnI bahene sau hete haLImaLIne rahe che e saMtavanI bInA che. saune premasmRti. sa tamAla kamIjalA, tA. 12-3-'39 vahAlA unnataedayA kAzIbA, saMkalpabaLa upara ja sAcI jIvanapratiSThA che. eka paNa UMce vicAra Ave ke te ja paLe ene AcaraNamAM mUkavAno prayatna karavAthI saMkalpabaLa dRDha thAya che. zaherI vAtAvaraNa ke jyAM paLe paLe bhayabhIta karanArAM AMdolanane dhedha chUTe che, temAMthI UgarI javAne eka

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saraLa mArga e paNa che, ke bane teTaluM ochuM sAMbhaLavuM ane sAMbhaLavAnI pharaja paDe, tyAM vANIne mIna athavA maryAdita banAvavI. badhAMya viruddha hoya, tevA prasaMge satya to Akhare jIte ja che; paraMtu satya pite ati kaDaka tapa ane apAra sahanazIlatA mAgI le che. prArthanAnI tamArA patramAM lakhAyelI rIta khUba che. prabhune sAMnidhyamAM rAkhI A prakAranI bhAvamaya prArthanA karavAthI hRdayanI azuddhi kharI paDe che, ne navuM AdhyAtmika baLa maLe che. kaI ApaNe joDe cheTI rIte varte ane te paNa sAcI bAbatamAM, tyAre manamAM duHkha thAya evuM bane. paNa e duHkhamAM e manuSya pratye lagIre dveSa na rahe ene khUba jhINavaTathI khyAla rAkhavo ghaTe. A mArga khUba kaThaNa che, paNa Akhare e mArge ja vijaya che ane premanuM vyApaka rIte vadhavApaNuM che. je evI paLamAM evI vyakti pratye leza paNa TheSa rahI gayo, to karelI premasAdhanA paLavAramAM pANI thaI javAnI ane cittamAM azuddhi vadhI Akhare satya paranI zraddhAmAM khalela pahoMcavAnI. kharekhara bahene davAkhAnAmAM hAthe karIne vAtAvaraNa bagADe che' A vAkya sAcuM ja haze, teya e du:khada sthitimAM AkhI prajAnI saMskRtine hAsa che. tame jyAre vadhu AtmabaLa keLavaze tyAre joI zakazo ke tamArI e suvAsa tyAMnA vAtAvaraNamAM kevI sarasa rIte prasarI UThe che ! tame parIkSAmAM pAsa thaI je AnaMda anubhavo tenA karatAM niravadhi AnaMda AmAMthI pragaTavo joIe ane pragaTaze. duzcAritryane rega jeTale cepI dekhAya che teTalI cAritryanI suvAsa cepI nathI dekhAtI. ema chatAM eka ja vyaktinuM suMdara cAritrya vizvabharamAM vyApelA duzcAritryane jhAMkhuM pADavAnI prabaLa zakti dharAve che. ApaNuM pratyeka vicArasaraNImAM A sUtra vyApaka thavuM joIe. cAritrya e

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mahAsAgaranI agAdhatA jevuM agAdha che. emAMthI aneka javAhiro sAMpaDe che. sarvathA sau sukhI thAo. saMtabAla viThThalagaDha, tA. 26-5-'39 vahAlAM unnatahRdayA kAzIbA, meMthIne dainika kama zithilate nathI thayo ne? prArthanA paNa kAyama niyamita thAya che ne ? prathama judA prakAranI muzkelIone kALa hatuM, have vicitra prakAranI mUMjhavaNano samaya AvI lAge che. saMskArI jIva cho, paNa toya paLe paLe cetatA rahevAnuM che. sevA ane premAvezanI lAgaNImAM keTalIka vAra sthiratA gumAvavAnA prasaMgo UbhA thAya che. AvI veLAe ekAgratApUrvaka prabhuprArthanA karI sthira thavuM ghaTe. sarvatra sau zAMti pAme. # zAMti. "saMtabAla

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mAnakela, tA. 29-7-'39 vahAlAM unnatihadayA kAzIbA, musAphira jAgate rahenA nagarameM cara Ate hai" e kathanane saMtamahAtmAoe aneka vAra palaTAvyuM teya sadaiva tAju ne tAjuM ja che. sAdhakamAse paLepaLe hareka kSetramAM enI smRtine tAjI ja rAkhavI rahI. sAtvika icchAne bahAne paNa kaMI bhUta AvIne rakhe ThagI jAya enI takedArI rahevI joIe. karaDe jananI sevAno lAbha karatAM eka paLanuM adhyAtma mRtyu thatAM emAMthI AtmAne ugArI levAno puruSArtha vadhu kImatI che. kharI vAta te e che ke e AtmajIvanamAMthI ja sAcI jagasevA svayu uddabhavI nIkaLe che. badhI parIkSAomAM bhale pAsa thaIe, paNa vRttivijayamAM nApAsa thayA te badhuM vRthA che. ApaNo pAyo jenA para che ene salAmata rAkhavA mATe hamezAM sauthI paheluM lakSya rahevuM joIe. sarvatra sau zAMti pAme. saMtabAla

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6 amadAvAda, tA. 2-1-40 vahAlAM unnatahRdayA kAzIbahena, gheADANA je kaMI avakAza maLyA, te daramyAna noMdhapothI joI gayo chuM. ekaMdare ThIka che. mAtAomAM noMdhAthInI Teva paDe e aneka dRSTie kalyANunA kAraNarUpa banI zake tema che. 1. 'satyanI sAdhanA'mAM lagIre dhakkeDa na cAle. sArA kRtyane ahAne paNa jUThuM na khAlAya. bhale kadAca e sAruM mRtya tatkALa na khajAvI zakAtuM dekhAya, teAye "satya khAlavuM ane satya cAlavuM" A parama Ane lakSyathI bahAra na khesavavAM joI e. hA, eTaluM kharuM ke satya khelavAmAM ke tadanusAra vartavAmAM zakaya teTalAM prema ane mIThAza vadhu DhALavAM joI e. satya, prema ane nyAya e traNene suMdara samanvaya je paLe sadhAya, te paLe ApaNe samajavuM ke have mAnavajIvananI parAkASThAe pahoMcavAnAM ApaNe namra adhikArI thaI cUkayAM chIe. 2. ApaNe kadI evA Agraha na rAkhavA joIe ke ApaNe dhArIe chIe tevAM saue hAvAM ja joI e, saMbhava che ke ApaNe khIjA karatAM ghaNI bAbatamAM pAchaLa paNa hoI e. eTale khIjAte pUrepUrA sAMbhaLIe ane sahiSNu thaI e. jo ke 'pApIte cAhavA chatAM pApathI vegaLA rahIme'. A kArya ati kaThina che, paNu e ja nakkara mArga che. jIvana ane jagatane vikAsa e mArge vizeSa che. 7

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3. 'nAganAM svapna' kre'naitika bhIti' ApaNane bhayamAM na mUkI de e sAru dRDha saMkalpabaLane vadhAravA tarapha lakSya rAkhavuM ane kAI eka japa karIne sUvuM. sarvatra zAMti vistarA. vahAlAM unnatahayA kAzIbA, cAmAsAnA chaMTakAvathI bhUMsAI gayelI keDIe badale che athavA navI bane che, paNa pathikA potAnA dhArelA sthaLe game tyAMthI pazu paheAMcIne ja rahe che. tema uMmara, kSetra, samaya vagere palaTatAMnI sAthe icchAe palaTo khAya che. ema chatAM jijJAsu sAdhake potAnA dhArelA sthaLanuM lakSya na bhUlavuM joI e. UMcA te UMcA AkAzamAM 'saMtamAla' bAlaMbhA, tA. 1-3-'40 haMmezAM mAtAone hAthe athavA mAtAonI preraNA dvArA jagatanA mahApalaTAtra Aja paryaMta thatA rahyA che, thAya che ane haju paNu thatA raheze. jete mAtRhRdaya sAMpaDayuM che, enI bhAvanAne dheAdha aneka zuSka hRdayane rasabhInAM banAvavAne zaktimAna che. kSaNe kSaNe jAgRti rAkhavI. vilase jyAM jyAtinA leAka re. 8

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tyAM ApaNe saue UDavAnuM che ane AsapAsa rekI rAkhe tevAM baMdhana khaDAM rahyAM che. e baMdhamAM na baMdhAtAM paLe paLe uDDayana karavuM rahyuM che. vaLI ApaNe ekalavAyA paNa UDavA nathI icchatAM, kAraNa ke vizvanA pratyeka AtmA sAthe ApaNe koI ne koI prakArane RNAnubaMdha rahyo che. eTale ApaNe UDIe ane jagatane sAthe laI e. paNa jagatane sAthe levAmAM eTale be vahI zakIe tevI bhUmikA prApta karavI paDe che. AthI ja ApaNe vizvavatsalatAno Adarza svIkAryo che ane brahmacarya e mArge pahoMcADanAra bhomiyo che ema mAnyuM che. brahmacaryanI raTanAmAMthI satya-zraddhA, saMyama ane paramArthaprIti jagyA vinA rahetI ja nathI ane ApaNe krame krame jagatane sAthe laI UDavA mAMDIe chIe. prArthanA, nedhapethI, preraka nIvaDavAM joIe. sarvatra zAMti vistare. saMtabAla vaMthalI, tA. 30-6-40 vahAlAM unnatahRdayA kAzIbA, priya cheTubhAI e tamArA prazna sAthe je patra ravAnA karele, te mane haja maLyo nathI. eTale teoe Aje prAtaHkAle ahIM rUbarU vAta karI. te parathI tamArA praznane huM samajyo chuM te rIte goThavIne uttara vALuM chuM.

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prazna: mAne ke ApaNuM kaI - sAthI ke uparI adhikArI - evI rIte TevAI gayuM hoya, ke je pitAnA sAthI agara pitAnI nIce kAma karanArAM ApaNane vAraMvAra sAmAnya kAraNe ke keTalIka vAra vagara kAraNe (jANe pitAno A pADavA khAtara) dabaDAvyA ja kare. ApaNane enI A kuTeva khUba sAlatI hoya ane te mAtra ApaNe sahana karavuM paDe te khAtara ja nahi, paNa enI AvI kuTevathI bIjAne nukasAna pahoMce te khAtara. to AvA prasaMge zuM karavuM? athavA evI vyakti sAthe kema vartavuM? jo ke keTalIka vAra enI DenA kAmamAM cUpa rahevAya che, paNa cUpa rahevA chatAM manamAM UMDe UMDe enA A vartanathI enA para kinto to rahe ja che. vaLI cUpa rahevAthI jenArAM bIjAM ke jeo A kuTevane bhoga banyAM hoya che athavA banavAnAM heya che te ApaNane bAyalAM gaNuM hasI kADhe che. e duHkha paNa UMDe UMDe bhAre rahyAM kare che ane je dabaDAvanAra upalI vyaktine caTAka daIne sAme (jarA ruAbapUrvaka saMbhaLAvI daIe chIe, te e vyaktinI A kuTevane svAda ApaNane thoDAka divasa to cAkhavA maLato nathI ane bIjAM ke je emanI A kuva sAthe manamAM napharata sevatAM hoya che te paNa kahe che : "sAruM thayuM. AvAnI sAthe te Ama ja vartavuM joIe. je DhIlAM thaI e te vadhu paDatAM mAthe caDI jAya ane e rIte ApaNane ane bIjAneya enAthI nAhaka bahu sahevuM paDe." bIjAMnA A kathanathI jarA e lokonI AgaLa paNa ApaNI bAyalApaNAnI halakI chApa na paDatAM ApaNe paNa kAMIka chIe, evI chApa paDe che. te jANuM jarA phulAI paNa javAya che. paNa teya hRdayamAM ema lAgyAM ja kare che ke ApaNe evI vyaktinI sAme paNa AvezamAM belyAM te ThIka na thayuM. joke e dabaDAvanAra vyakti te vakhata pUratI te na dabaDAvI zake, paNa eTalAthI ja kaMI enI kuTeva to na ja jaI zake. saMbhava che ke ene ApaNuM upara manodeva paNa vadhe haze. eya ThIka, paNa kharI vAta to e che ke ApaNA AtmAne te khUba

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AdhAta thayA. A parathI ema tAravI zakAya ke A vartana paNa kharAbara nathI. te pachI zuM karavuM ? ane kema vartavuM? uttara: ahiMsA ane hiMsA vacce eka vilakSaNu aMtara che. te sAdhakamAtre samajI levuM joI e. hiMsAnuM phaLa sthULa rIte spaSTa dekhAya tevuM hoya che, kAraNe ke hiMsA sthULa jagata para jhaTa AMjI nAMkhe tevI camatkArika asara kare che. tenI gati paNu sUkSma che, kAraNu ke te sUkSma jagata para asara kare che. tethI te asara sthULa, dekhAve dhImI lAge che. kAI ne turata AMjI zakatI nathI. paNa Aste rahIne jambara hRdayapalaTA karAve che ane kAyamI rahe che. ahiMsAnA upAsake eka kALajI khAsa rAkhavI joI eka eNe peAtAnI hArajIta mApavAnA kAMTA khIjAnA khela / vartAva upara na rAkhatAM mukhyapaNe potAnA AtmA upara rAkhavA joI e. eNe je kuTeva ochA ke vadhu aMze khIjAmAM joI te potAmAM paNa che ja ema jANI vadhu zuddha banavA tatpara rahevuM joI e. AvA vartanathI khIjAe ete 'bAyalA' kahe teApaNu ene du:kha nahi thAya, kAraNa ke peAtAmAM sAme thavAnI zakti hovA chatAM e sAme na thatAM mauna rahe che. vaLI Ave! vIra sAdhaka pAte jenAmAM kuTeva bhALI che ke e kuTevanA svAda cAkhyA che, enA upara kinnA nahi rAkhe paNa UlaTA vadhu UMDethI potAnA premane jharA enA pratye guptapaNe vahevaDAvaze. huM jarA A uttarane vadhu UMDANumAM laI gayA. paNa tema chatAM e anivArya che. A uparathI tame TUMkamAM samajyAM haze ke bIjAnA abhiprAya parathI duHkhita thavuM ke phulAI javuM e ApaNI meTAmAM mATI truTI che. ApaNAmAM kAyaratA che ke vIratA che enuM pramANupatra ApaNA hradaya taraphathI ApaNe meLavavuM joI e. e pazu kahI dauM ke ApaNe keAInI sAme naitika hiMmatanA abhAve na kahIe ane manamAM bAbaDIe ke kintA rAkhIe te karatAM sAme kahI nAkhavAthI jo manane! kintA sApha thatA hoya te te bhUmikA vaLI huM 11

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nirbheLa ahiMsAnI dRSTie UtaratI chatAM hiMsAnI dRSTie kadAca caDatI hoI zake. kadAca eTalA mATe ke sAme kahI nAkhyA pachI paNa je ApaNuM abhimAna vadhe to te vaLI eka anarthane badale bIjA anartha vadhAre che. mATe e bhUmikA hiMsAnI dRSTie paNa ekAMte sArI ja che, ema kahI zakAtuM nathI. sAcI ane suMdara vAta e che ke, hiMsA pachI kAyaranI ho ke vIranI ho, paNa bUrI ja che. ane ahiMsAne mArga eTale te suMdara che ke kAyaratA prathama prathama bhAse, teya nirbheLa ahiMsAno mArga haze te Akhare emAMthI ApoApa vIratA pragaTavAnI ja che. have vyaktigata muddA para AvuM, tamAre AvI paLe, jayAM lagI manamAM phaphaDATa na thAya tyAM lagI e badhuM sahana karavuM ane na sahana thAya tyAre te prasaMga ane sthAnane IrAdApUrvaka te paLa pUratA TALavAM; kAyama mATe nahi. A abhyAsa pADavA jatAM bhUlo te thaze ja paNa te tamone sAlavI joIe. ane haMmezAM pAMca miniTa prabhu pAse evI prArthanA karavI ke "he prabhu! huM phalANuM vyaktinI kuTeva bhALuM chuM, te mArI moTI DyuTI che. he nAtha ! tene tuM nivAra." A prArthanA ApaNu ahiMsAnA siddhAMtane Teko Ape che eTale ke ApaNe IcchAo ke anicchAe je bhUmikAe javA mAgIe chIe, te bhUmikAe javA sAru thoDAM pagalAM AgaLa vadhAre che. A tamArA nAnakaDA maMDaLamAM karele tamAro akhataro AbAda rIte saphaLa nIvaDaze ja, emAM mane te lavaleza zaMkA nathI, paNa mAne ke sAmAne hRdayapalaTo na thayo te paNa tame kazuM gumAvavAnAM te nathI ja. echAmAM ochuM eTaluM to baLa tamane maLaze, ke jethI bIjAo tamone "bAyalA" mAne toya tamane du:kha nahi thAya. kadAca tamane lAgaze ke, AvA akhatarA karatAM karatAM to samaya ane zakti khUba veDaphAya ane phaLa te sAva najIvuM. to huM kahIza ke evA prayugamAM samaya ane zakti veDaphAtAM nathI paNa tAjA thAya che. jema zIkhelI vastu bIjAne zIkhavIe ke vAraMvAra pheravyA karIe tema jJAnamAM vadhAro thAya che ane smRti ghasAtI nathI 12

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paNa UlaTI sateja thAya che, tema ja A akhatarAnuM paNa samajI levuM. AvA nAnakaDA akhatarAmAMthI ApaNane, ApaNu dvArA jagatane je prakAza maLe che te jIvanane mahA AnaMda ane jagatanI mahAsevA che. tame AvA prakAzanI AchI....1 dhorAjI, tA. 3-12-40 vahAlAM unnatahadayA kAzIbA, tamAre saLaMga patra vAMcI gayo che. dezanI hAkala AgaLadezadharma AgaLa - ghaNA saMgamAM bIjA sAmAnya dhame gauNu gaNavAne paNa kALa hoya che. mukhyatve te pitAnA aMtarane ja vaphAdAra rahevuM joIe. paNa ApaNuM aMtara bole che ke koI vRtti ? te ApaNe ghaNI vAra kaLI zakatAM nathI. tame tamArA manane ATaluM pUchajo: "badhI bahene satyAgraha mATe taiyAra thAya ane ApaNe besI rahIe ?" evA koI ja vALane vaza to lAgaNI nathI UThI ne? vAtAvaraNanI asara ApaNuM upara moTo bhAga bhajave che. rakhe ene adhIna thaIe. ane jo evuM kaMI hoya to cAlu dharmane choDIne bIjA dharmamAM jhaMpalAvavuM bhayaMkara thaI paDe. have tamArA prazno. 1. janasevA ane dezasevA bannemAM pahelI kaI e tame tamArI vartamAna sthitine laIne pUcho che. ene javAba upara ja lakhAI gayo che. ene nirNaya tamAre jAte ja karavAno che. 1. patrane bAkIne bhAga maLI zakyo nathI.

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2. bhaNavAnA utsAha karatAM satyAgrahamAM javAno utsAha vaLe che? ane jo ema hoya te ene garbhamAM zuM che? 3. jeo khare ja dezasevake banyA che eTale ke dezane abhyAsa karI potAnI bhUmikA banne rIte keLave che, ene dharma nirALe che ane je bI kSetromAM sevA bajAve che eno dharma nirALe che. e satyAgraha na kare, ema chatAM dezasevA bajAvI zake tema che. ane je ema hoya to eNe pitAne svadharma na tajavo joIe. vidyArthIonA dharma nirALA che, sainikonA dharma nirALI che. Aje dezadharma vyApaka dizAmAM vicArAte heIne je Atmadharmane vireAdhaka nathI te dezadharma game tyAM bajAvI zakAya. tA. ka. hamaNAM tamAro - dhIrubhAI no patra vAMcyA emAM joyuM ke tame satyAgrahInI pratijJAmAM sahI karI che. eTale tame sainika paNa banyAM che. have tame vidyArthI hovA uparAMta sainika paNa che. AthI tamArI sAme be dharma paDyA che ane beya tamAre mATe svadharma che. uparanA lakhANa vakhate tame pratijJApatrakamAM sahI karyAno mane khyAla na hato. eTale e javAbadArIne ukela tamAro AtmA ja lAvI zakaze. tame gabharAzo nahi. bIjAonI salAha bhale leje paNa mAgadarzana tamArA aMtaramAMthI ja maLe e ja barAbara che. satyAgrahI saLiyA pAchaLa paNu dIla haze te enI asara jelamAM javA mAtrathI kazI khAsa nathI. ane jo e sAce ja satyAgrahane mArge haze te saLiyA pAchaLa jaIne paNa ajaba asara karaze, tema saLiyA pAchaLa nahi jaIne paNa kaMI ochI asara nahi upajAve. sUkSma zaktinuM sAmarthya haMmezAM vadhu hoya che. eTale tame Aje sainika che ane vyaktigata satyAgraha na kare teya tamArA kSetramAM beThAM beThAM satyAgrahI sainikanI bhUmikA bahu AbAda bhajavI tamArA banne dharma - vidyArthI dharma ane sainikadharmane vaphAdAra rahI zake che. vidyArthIdharmane ane sainikadharmane nirALI gayA che. paNa tamAre mATe beya dharma patIkA che. 14

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have prazna rahyo che ke sainikanA saradAranI zI AjJA che? huM na bhUlate heuM te saradAranI Aje yuddhamAM joDAI ja javuM evI AzA nathI, tema na joDAvuM tevI manA paNa nathI. vyakitagata satyAgrahanI chUTa che ja. eTale eno artha e thayo ke vyaktie jAte ja ene nirNaya karo rahyo ke "mAre satyAgraha karI jelamAM javuM ke mArA kSetramAM mAro sadAno sAmAnya dharma pALI, satyAgrahI tarIkenI mArI bhUmikA daDha karavI." jyAre saradAra jAte hAkala kare, tyAre sainika para bahu javAbadArI nathI hotI paNa e sainikane svataMtratA sAMpe tyAre enI javAbadArI bevaDAya che. A rIte tamArA jevA sainikonI javAbadArI vadhI che. mAtra tamAre satyAgrahInI zarata ane zistapAlana tarapha takedAra rahevuM joIe. koI sAthe chAMTAbhAra TheSa rAkhyA vagara, satyAgrahanA svarUpane ke paristhitine tamArA vargamAM pracAra kare e paNa sainikadharma pALavA barAbara ja che. have tame jAte ja nirNaya karaze ke tamAruM aMtara zuM kahe che ? 2. praznano uttara H sAcA snehamAM nirlepatA baLI hoya che. ene laIne mohabaMdhana sAcA nehIne bAMdhI zakatAM nathI. vaLI sAcA snehamAM prabhuzraddhA - satyazraddhA ane niHspRhatA paNa hoya che. eTale pote saMyamamArge jaIne neha nibhAve che. ethI sAcA snehIne haMmezAM sahevuM paDe che, paNuM te bIjAne kadI satAvavAnI IcchAne Adara ApatuM nathI. 3. praznano uttaraH Izvara eTale AtmAnI parama prakAzamaya dazA. enI prAptine ja mekSa kahevAmAM Ave che. Izvara ApaNA aMtaramAM beThe ja che, e bhAvanAe, bhaktivaza samarpaNatAthI, jIva potAnI e parama prakAzamaya dazA. je mehathI gherAyelI che ene kaLI kare che. ane bhale kSaNika vinayathI e phulAto hoya, paNa Akhare maLeluM kSaNika sukha alepa thAya che ane pastAvAnAM kAraNe paLe paLe UbhAM thAya che. jyAre

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satyArthIne jema saMkaTA gherI vaLe che, tema zakti paNa vadhe che. eTale te krame krame saMkaTone nivAratA jAya che ane evA prayatnamAMthI ene sukha sAMpaDe che. bIjA jonArane enuM bAghu du:kha bhale game tevuM AkaruM lAge paNu satyArthIne te emAM paNa meAja ja hoya che. eTaluM ja nahi paNa e teA ema paNa kahe che ke-- sukha ke sAthe zila paDI, visara jAve rAma; alihArI va du:khI, palapala samare rAma. sArAMza ke satyAthI je sukhane talasI rahyo che, te ene aMtaramAMthI jaDe che. eTale asatyavAdInA mAnI lIdhelA mahA sukhanI ene kazI kimata lAgatI nathI. A rIte banne dRSTimAM meTA bheda che. eTale satyAthI satyane cITakIne TakI rahe che. peAte Izvaramaya thatA jAya che. Izvara eTale sarvazaktimAna puruSa. gItA kahe che ke evA zvara saumAM che, sau Izvaramaya che." e kAI ne sukhaduHkha ApatA nathI. nyAya pazu cUkavavA besatA nathI, paNa e sarvazaktimAna hoI te enA prakAze satya ane nyAya jaLavAI rahetA hoI te, svabhAve banatI ghaTanAone pazu leAkA A Izvare karyu., A IzvaranI mAyA, evA zabdaprayAga kare che. jo e prayAgathI abhimAna ochuM thatuM hoya ane satpuruSArthane mArge utsAha, ullAsa sphuratAM heAya te! e prayAga sAdhaka che, anyathA bAdhaka che. jaina sUtrA kahe che : jIva ane paramAtmA judAM nathI. mAtra Avarane lIdhe judAM che. e AvaraNa TALavAnA prayatna karavA ghaTe. emAM IzvaravAda ke anIzvaravAdanA jhaghaDAmAM paDavAnI jarUra nathI. satyArthIne jema duHkha paDe che, tema asatyavAdIne paNa ekadA te paDe che. pazu evA banavA mATe bhAre zraddAnI jarUra che. pAtAne sUjhelA nAnakaDA satyane vaphAdAra rahevA jatAM ghaNA moTA 16

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khAka vahera paDe e veLAe Dhacupacu manavALAM mANaso TakI zakatAM nathI. ane arthe raste AvIne paNuM nirAza thaI jAya che. AthI ja ApaNane upalaka rIte jotAM lAge che ke asatya ja AjakAla chate che, paNa vAstavika rIte tema nathI. pravya haMmezAM muDadAMo joIne ke dardIonI dazA joIne, Teva paDI jAya ke dayAne mULa saMskAra UDavA lAge evo bhaya lAge tyAre tevA saMjogemAM zuM karavuM? u0 haMmezAM jeTalAM dardIonAM mRtyu thayAM hoya teTalA "mRtAtmAone zAMti maLe evI prArthanA veLAe prArthanA karavAthI mehadayA na thAya, nabaLAI na Ave ane kharI dayAno saMskAra na bujhAtAM prajavalita rahe. sarvatra zAMti vistare. saMtabAla namratA saheje Ave, saMyama ane tapa khUba game, svArtha karatAM paramArthanI rUci vadhu thAya, tyAre samajavuM ke prabhuno prakAza dila para patharAyo che. AnuM ja nAma te AtmAnubhavanuM suMdara kiraNa. pra. mekSa eTale zuM ? u0 kavAya krodha, mAna, mAyA ane lobhane abhAva te ja mekSa. samabhAva e mokSanuM pagathiyuM. samabhAvane janma thAya tyAre kaSAyo Dagale ne pagale sAle ane emanAthI vegaLA rahevAno prayatna * patrane AgaLane bhAga maLato nathI. 17 saM5-2

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saheje karavAnuM mana thAya ane e kaSAya samagrapaNe dUra thAya tene nAma samabhAvanI parAkASThA athavA mokSa kahevAya. sarvatra zAMti vistare. "saMtamAla giradharanagara, tA. 31-1-42 vahAlAM unnatadayA kAzIbahena, tamArA praznottaro : pra. jyArathI samAjanI utpatti thaI tyArathI atyAra sudhI ema kema manAya che ke strI brahmacaryajIvana na ja jIvI zake ? haja paNuM evuM ja manAya che. te zuM temAM strI jAtine kaMI vAMka haze ke samAje mAnela rUDhi haze ? u0 strIone brahmacaryajIvana jIvavAne puruSanA jeTalo ja haka che ane te kudaratI che. A viSe gItA, jainasUtro ane bauddhasatra sAkha pUre che. khAsa karIne strI jAtine, puruSa jAtine prApta badhA adhikAre jaina sUtramAM suMdara rIte maLI Ave che. ane e mAtra lekhita ja nahi paraMtu AcArapariNuta dAkhalAo paNa maLe che. dA. ta. rAjamatI. emaNe AjIvana brahmacarya pALyuM che, ane abhuta rIte pALIne strI jAtinI kIrti upara kaLaza caDAvyo che. gRhasthAzramamAM paNa strI ane puruSarUpe vivAhita thayA chatAM vijaya ane vijayAe sarvAga brahmacarya pALyAnuM udAharaNa paNa jainagraMthAmAM 18

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che. paNa ahIM eTale khulAso karavAnI jarUra che ke e badhAe chevaTe sAdhavI-dIkSAo svIkArI lIdhAne ullekha che. puruSo vize paNa tema ja che. dA. ta. neminAtha ane vijayazeTha. sAdhu-dIkSA lIdhA vinA jiMdagIbhara brahmacArI rahenAra puruSonAM udAharaNa paNa zodhyAM sAMpaDatAM nathI tema strIonAM paNa sAMpaDatAM nathI. vaidika dharmamAM zrImad zaMkarAcAryajIe avivAhita dazAmAM ja saMnyAsa svIkArelo. e aitihAsika pramANa che. zukadevajInuM te zAstrIya udAharaNuM gaNAya. sAdhusAdhvI saMsthAmAM bhaLanArane jiMdagIbhara brahmacarya pALavuM jeTaluM sulabha haze teTaluM gRhasthAzramI saMsthAmAM rahevA chatAM jiMdagIbhara kaumAravrata pALavuM sulabha nahi hoya, e samajI zakAya tevI bAbata che. hiMda bahAranA dezamAM svecchAe yogya sAthInA abhAve agara sevAkSetramAM paDavAne kAraNe ghaNAM kumArIratnono ullekha maLI Ave che. eTale tame samajI zakazo ke brahmacaryajIvana strI na ja jIvI zake te mAnyatA zAstranI ane ItihAsanI daSTie apramANika Thare che. alabatta, strIdehanAM ane puruSadehanAM baMdhAraNomAM pheraphAra heIne jAtIya AkarSaNanA AvegomAM pheraphAra jarUrI che. paraMtu bhASA, kaLA ane saMskAritAnI tAlImano emane paNa pUrate adhikAra che. bALauchera, pAkazAstra ane gRhavyavahAranI tAlIma emane svAbhAvika vadhu sarasa zAstrIya rIte maLavI joIe; ane te khAsa maLavI joIe. AvuM laya prathamanA kALamAM paNa hatuM ja. brAhmI ane suMdarI e baMne bahene cosaTha-botera kaLAmAM pravINa hatI ema graMtha kahe che. bahenane kyAM nokarI karavA javuM che ? ene bhaNutaranI zI jarUra che ? e khyAlo bhUlabharelA che. alabatta nokarI mATe nahi, paNa samAjasevA mATe te te puruSa karatAM paNa samAjanuM mahatvanuM aMga che. saMskAritAne

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vikAsa kare evI tAlIma to emane sAru anivArya jarUrI che ja. je strI saMskArI haze te ene saMsAra paNa saMskArI banaze ane prajA paNa saMskArI thaze. mAtAnI tAlIma bALakomAM abhuta rIte asara upajAve che. sarvatra zAMti vistaro. "saMtamAla rika 1945 praH A uMmare zuM zuM dhyAnamAM rAkhavuM joIe? u. koI paNa uMmare sAcuM bolavuM ane sAcuM cAlavuM. ATaluM dhyAnamAM rAkhavA joga che. sAcane kadI AMca na lAge. te mATe sAdAI, kSamA, nyAya, vinaya keLavavAM joIe. pra dhyeya zuM rAkhavuM joIe? u. satyanI vaphAdArI ane sahu para nirmaLa prema. upara je vAta kahevAI ene paNa A sAthe pUrate saMbaMdha che. praya brahmacarya sAdhaka nIvaDe tevo jApa karyo? 8. brahmacarya rakSatu vIryaM rakSatu pArzva / A jApane huM ghaNI vAra Azraya lauM chuM. nIcenuM pada mAre mATe khUba ja preraka banyuM che. * A patrane ATale ja bhAga maLyo che. 20

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ajapA jApa tuhI, tannAmeM khvAba tUhI, tUhI tUhI maiyA tUhI svara tUhI, rasa tuhI, gAna tUhI, tAna tuhI, jAna tUhI, bhAna tUhI, jJAna tUhI dhyAna tUhI, , , dAma tUhI, dhAma tUhI, zayAma tUhI, rAma tUhI niyamoMkI nema tUhI, dharmo kA kSetra tUhI, yogakA prema tUhI satakA sata tUhI, bhoMkI gata tUhI, tUhI tUhI , zaktikA sAra tUhI, sRSTi AdhAra tUhI, hRdayakA tAra tUhI, , nadI pravAha tuhI, vanikA dAha tUhI, Uvaka rAha eka vAyukA sparza tUDI, poM kA spaMda tUhI, gUloMkI gaMdha eka tUhI tUhI gagane udyoga tUhI, jIvanakI jyota tUhI, tUhI tUhI maiyA, tuhI tUhI. 13 1945 jApa sAdhanarUpe khUba upayogI che, paNa mULe te hRdayathI brahmacaryanI laganI lAgavI joIe. khUba cetatA rahevuM, puruSane ekAMta sahavAsa sevavo nahi. bahu hAMsI-mazkarImAM rasa na levo. tIkhAM, tamatamatAM khANAM na levAM. svAda jItavAno prayAsa satata cAlu rAkho. AMkha vikArI bane tevAM daye TALavAM. attaraphulela, pAuDara tema ja suMvALAM ane aMgapAMga dekhAya tevAM vastrAdi paridhAnanI IcchA para saMyama rAkha. bahu hasavAnI Teva na rAkhavI. balavAmAM gaLImaLIne bolavAnI cIvaTa rAkhavI. pathArI sAdI ane alAyadI rAkhavAne Agraha sevavo. je nevele brahmacaryaghAtaka nIvaDavAne bhaya heya te novela ke tevuM sAhitya 1. patrane AgaLano bhAga maLyo nathI.

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vAMcavuM nahi. vikAra vadhe tevI kathAvArtA sAMbhaLavI nahi, niMdAkuthalI, IrSA tajavAM. bAcayaeNbhAvavardhaka kathAvArtA sAMbhaLavI, brahmacaryanI bhAvanAne poSe tevuM vAcana rAkhavuM. cAvIne khAvAnI Teva pADavI. vikArA vadhe tyAre rasALa bheAjanA para khUba saMyama rAkhave. upavAsa, ekaTANAM, AyUMkhila karavAM, upara kahyuM tema jApanuM avalaMbana levuM. strIjAtinAM duHkhA dUra karavA kamara kasavI. puruSe! pratye bALabhAve jovuM. peAtAnA kSetrane ceAgya evI sevAmAM citta joDI rAkhavuM. kAI paNa evA Adarza puruSanuM jIvanacaritra sAme rAkhavuM, ke jemAMthI brahmacarya bhAvanAnI preraNA ane poSaNa maLe ane vikArAnA AvegA zamI jAya. ATalAmAM ghaNuM AvI jAya che, ema chatAM peAtAne mATe bIjA navA je je niyame sphure, te te ghaDI levA. noMdhapothI lakhavAthI vicArAmAM maulikapaNuM ane dRDhatA Ave che. jete satyanI laganI lAgI che, ene vahelI-meDI brahmacaryanI laganI avazya lAgavAnI ja. brahmacarya pALavuM prathama jeTaluM jeTaluM kahyu lAge che, teTaluM pachI, eTale ke e mArge AgaLa vadhyA pachI kaThaNa lAgatuM nathI brahmacarya ja jIvananuM svAbhAvika baLa che. brahmacaryapremIne saMyama, leAkavAtsalya ane ni:spRhI, kharI nIDaratA keLavyA vinA chUTakA ja nathI. A keLavaNI evI sAdhikA ke evA sAdhakane apUrva zaktidhara banAvI mUkaze. puruSane jema brahmacaya svAbhAvika hoI te brahmacarya pALavAnA haka che, tema strIne paNa teTale ja haka che. pra0 kaiMdha Ave tyAre zuM karavuM joIe? u. kredhanuM mULa ApaNe joI tapAsIne pahelAM te kreAdha na ja thAya evI sthitinA puruSArtha karavA joI e. ApaNI haThIlI vRttithI, abhimAnathI athavA ApaNI icchA karatAM viruddha vAtAvaraNu dekhavAthI ApaNe magajane kAbU gumAvI besIe chIe. eTale ApaNe DIlIpitta, abhimAna ane ApaNI kAmanAne TADavAne 22

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ane haTAvavAno prayatna karavo joIe. ema chatAM pahelAMnI kuTevane lIdhe kedha thaI jAya to te ja paLe ke pachI turata ja jenA pratye dha thayela hoya tenI pAse kharA dile abhimAnane ogALIne mAphI mAgavI joIe. krodha AvavAnI zarUAta thavA jevuM lAge ke banatAM lagI tene dAbavA mATe " zAMtino japa ane koI Adarza satI ke mahAtmA jANe sAme UbhAM che evI kalpanA karI manane krodhathI vALI kSamAne mArge lAvavuM joIe. jo emAM nAsIpAsa thavAya to e sthAna te veLAe tajI devuM joIe ane bIje sthaLe jaI manane bIjA kAmamAM parovI devuM joIe. ATalA abhyAsa mATe kaMIka bhAga ApavAnI vRtti ane ekAgratA baMne joIze. cheka ja nApAsa thavAya, to upara kahyuM tema krodha jemanA pratye thayo hoya temanI haLavA dile mAphI mAgavI rahI. kharA dilane pastAvo te ja ke, ApaNe vAraMvAra evA ne evA prakAranI bhUle na vadhArIe, paNa UlaTI ghaTADavAne pramANika prayatna karIne avazya ghaTADIe. A abhyAsa mATe kharA vicAranI, vivekanI ane jijJAsAnI jarUra paDaze. pra. koI najIvI vAta kahe to paNa manane du:kha thAya che, tyAre zuM karavuM? u. A vize uparanA javAbamAM ghaNuM AvI jAya che. uparAMta najIvI vAtathI mane duHkha thavAnuM kAraNa magajanI nabaLAI ane khoTAM lADakoDathI TevAyelI ApaNI vRtti paNa che. emane dUra karavA mATe ApaNe magajane namratApUrvaka zAMta rAkhavuM joIe ane je koI kaMI kahe temAMthI pitAnA bhalAne mATe je kahevAya che te karavuM hoya, teya amRtasaDa gaNIne levuM ane pacAvavuM joIe. kharAM lADakoDa karatAM, premabharI zikhAmaNa manane kadAca pahelAM na game teya hitakArI che ema jANI sAMbhaLavI joIe, sahavI joIe. ane "ApaNe apUrNa prANI chIe' e khyAla sAme rAkhI ApaNI jAtane sudhAravI joIe. sarvatra zAMti vistare. saMtabAla 20

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14 vahAlAM unnatahRdayA kAzIbahena, tamAre saMtASaprada patra maLyA. tameA teA paNu anukULatAmAM jovAnI dRSTi pAmatAM gayAM che viramagAma, tA. 10-10-45 pratikULatA hoya tAeTale zuM kahevuM ? yAdazakti mATe zuM karavuM ? bahu lAgaNI UbharAya tyAre emane saMyamita karavI." mananI pUrNa samateAlatA e yAdazaktinI siddhi che. tamArAmAM emAMnuM ghaNuM che, eTale khAsa e saMbaMdhamAM ciMtA karavA jevuM paNu nahi. saMskRta, aMgrejI abhyAsanI UNupa muzkelI ApatI haze. paNu kadAca te UNupa na heAta te| AvI bhAvanA ane AvuM kArya sUjhata ke kema, e paNa prazna teA hateA ja. khera, je che te sAruM che. AvI sAmAnya aDacaNe! paNuM kramekrame dUra thaI jaze. 24 'mAMTesorI' dezI bhASAmAM ja khele che, chatAM mAra che. kastUrabA ! pUruM gujarAtI paNa nahAtAM jAgutAM, chatAM Ane artha e nathI ke bhASAe na zIkhavI. A tA eTalA mATe kaheluM che ke bhASAnI UNapo e jIvananI ke sevAkSetranI dIkSAmAM kazI ja UNupa kare tema nathI. ane kramekrame te UNapa purAtI jAya tevI che ane purAze. khUba zAMtithI rahyAM che ane rahejo. saune premasmRti. sarvatra zAMti vistA. 'saMtamAla'

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ziyALa, tA. 16-2-46 priya unnatahadayA kAzIbahena, tamAre patra maLe ho. tame na AvI zakyAM paNa ahIMnI bInA suMdara rIte AlekhIne naMdalAlabhAI e tamArA para mokalI che, eTale tamane saMtoSa thaze. tame zAkhA ziyALa vi. vi. o.mAM veLAsara AvIne pitAputrI baMne vaidyarAjanA suputra jayadevabhAInI madadamAM rahIne ApaNuM Adarza mujaba sevA bajAvaze e vize mane lagAre zaMkA nathI. naMdalAlabhAIe mArA lekhita bhASaNanI nakala bIDI haze, te temAM tamArA pitAputrI vizenA ullekhanI tamane sArI peThe jANu thaze. pATaNamAM tamee vaDedarA rAjya prajAmaMDaLanI cUMTaNImAM sAtha Apyo e saMtoSaprada ghaTanA che. bAne patra lakhe tyAre yAda karI zAMti samAcAra ApatAM raheze. khUba zAMtimAM raho che ane abhyAsa paNa sArI peThe dattacittathI thAya che vagere vigate ThAkarabhAIne patra dvArA jANuM. ThAkorabhAI tamene ThIka ja maLI gayA. sarvatra zAMti vistare. "saMtabAla 25

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dhoLI, tA. 12-6-49 beTA kAza, vihAra vakhate te sUcano mAgyAM, paNa meM na ApyAM. taka vinA tevAM sUcano karavAM phAvatAM paNa nathI. jyAre te babalabhAI pAse pelI vAta kADhI tyAre mane lAgyuM hatuM ke kAzIe A vAta mAre kAne pahelAM kema nahi nAkhI hoya ? huM tane e vize pUchavAne paNa hato, paNa te rahI gayuM. je bahena ! ApaNe je dhaMdhe ke mArga lIdhe che, e mArgamAM ke dhaMdhAmAM aneka kaDavA-mIThA anubhavo thavAnA che. banatA lagI mIThA ja saMgharavA. kaDavA saMgharAya to kADhI nAkhavA. jAgRta khUba rahevuM, emAM zaMkA nathI paNa bIjAnI bhUlAmAM ApaNe ApaNI bhUlono ja khyAla dhara. Ama ApaNe kaDavA ghUMTaDA pIne paNa amRta ApavAnI vAta AcarI zakavAnI jogavAI che. bAkI sAmAnA dilamAM ApaNe peThA vinA A zakya nathI. ane virodhI vicAra dharAvatA lokonA dilamAM pesavuM hoya to anahada sahanazIlatA sAthe apUrva AtmIyatA karavI ja paDe che. tArAmAM to AvuM ghaNuM che, eTale vAMdho nahi Ave. bahene kahevA jeguM tuM ja tyAM jAte kahI zakI hota ane bhAIone kahevA jemuM bhAI kahI zakyA hota, te vadhu sAruM thAta. joke maiyAe badhuM ekaMdare sukharUpa patAvI dIdhuM che. paMjAbI pizAka tuM pahere che ane jayAre mAthe TuvAla vIMTe che tyAre lagabhaga puruSa pizAka jevuM saMpUrNa banI jAya che. 26

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paMjAbI pAzAka hoya te upara eDhaNI jevuM rAkhIe te puruSazarIranA bhrama na thAya. ema karavuM beTA ! jarUrI lAge che? joke A prazna meM ahIM cceC te karatAM tuM pharI maLI hAta tyAre rUbarU carcyAr hata te sAruM hatuM. priya babalabhAI e gAmaDAMmAM Ama na paherAya, dheAlerAmAM paherAya e kAzIbahena samaje che ema kahI e prazna huM na bhUlatA houM te haLavI rIte vAtemAM kADhayo hatA. joke emaNe te kAzIbahena e viveka jANe che paNu bIjI anukaraNa karanArI bahene na jANe, e rIte ja caceMlA evA mArA khyAla che. mane paMjAbI paiAzAka mATe vAMdhA che, evuM A parathI na tAravIza. mArI ATalI sUcanAmAM kayAMya bhUla thatI hoya te te pazu batAvaje. 17 satamAla' 27 dhAlerA, tA. 23-3-20 priya bahena kAzI tathA priya cheoTubhAI, cheTubhAInuM dhALI mekalAveluM kavara meDuM lakhuM chuM. prathama te! je dila kheAlIne lakhyuM che, thAya che. tamane chellAM keTalAMka varSAthI vadhu du:khI tameAe tA haMmezAM mArA taranA ati pUjyabhAve zubha sAra tAravavA yatna karyAM che ane meM paNu ApaNA Adarzo ane kAryAM aMge ja moTe bhAge duHkha dIdhuM che. chatAM prema hoya che tyAM kadAca AvuM badhuM anivArya hAya che ke zuM, ema paNa keTalIka vAra vicArIne vaLI samAdhAna maLyuM. tenA javAba tethI khUba saMtoSa karyAM che. alabatta,

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meLavI lauM chuM. jema bane tema jhaTa have tameA banne ane khAsa karIne tameA hasatAM thAo, e jovA talakhuM chuM. ziyALanuM divALI lagI, (prabhukRpA tA). e vAkaya vicAra karAve che. tabiyata khAsa banne jaNu saMbhALajo. tyAM na phAvatuM hoya teA paNu mate niHsaMkrAca lakhajo. huM tA mAnuM chuM ke tyAM tame bannene sArI peThe phAvaze. satamAla' 18 kAgAMgaDa, tA. 6-7-'10 bahena kAzIbahena, mArA tyAMthI pravAsa vakhate tAruM mAM bahu ochuM lAvatuM jaNAyuM hatuM. enuM kAraNu meM e kahyuM ke teM mAgaNI karI chatAM tArI sAthe vAtA karavAnA samaya nirAMtanA na gAThavI zakAyA. AgalI rAtre mArA vicAra hatA paNu tame badhAM kavi va. kAmamAM lAgelAM ane mAre AgalA ujAgarAe hatA, eTale huM paNu sUI gaye. savAre tA paDhAra, vAdharIvAsamAM javAnuM thayuM ane rahI gayuM. tuM paNu judAM judAM kAmeAmAM rAkAyelI rahetI ane hatI. prabhAtapravacana dvArA ane bIjI rIte ghaNI ja vAtA thaI gayelI. A vakhate sAthe rahevAnuM paNa thayuM. eTale saMteSa mAnIza ema mAnuM chuM. ema chatAM icchA thAya tyAre jarUra AvI pUchI khulAse meLavI jaje, 28 'sa'tamAla'

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19 tA. 14-8-53 unnatahadayA bahena kAzIbahena, zuA AvatI kAle bhAratane AjhAda thaye cha varSa pUrAM thaze. ApaNe teA AjhAdInA uSAkALathI ja kheDUtamaMDaLane nAda uccAratA thayA ja hatA. Aje e kalpanA vadhu surekha banI che. gUMdInA cAmAsA vakhate kayAreka kayAreka theDI vAtA baiMgalAnA cogAnamAM pharatAM karatAM karI haze. sANaMdanA cemAsAmAM eka bAju AjhAda bhAratanI cAlelI, khIjI bAju te pahelAM ja ApaNA varga cAlatA ane rAmAyaNu, gItAnA graMthA dvArA e badhAMnA pAyA naMkhAtA, kadAca meM tyAre e paNa kaheluM ke Ave! avasara pharI kayAre maLavAnA che? tyAra bAda rAjakATa cAmAsuM AvyuM. rAjakATa cAmAsAmAM pachI pagapALA pravAsanI ~~ sahapravAsanI taka sauthI pahelI kadAca e rIte tamAne ja lAMbI muddata sudhI maLI. vAMkAnerathI jorAvaranagara lagI te bahena tarIke tameA ekalAM ja hatAM. rApura cAturmAMsa vakhate vimue nAnI uMmaramAM evA kaMIka prazna karelA : mahune tamane prema na aDe tyArabAda te dhIre dhIre e sthiti kudaratI AvI ke ~ mIrute nimitte vAtsalyanA suMdara svAda maLyA. paNa niftra sparzanI paNu bahene saMdhamAM maryAdA rAkhavI ene sthAnakavAsI jainamuni ke jaina muni tarIke AjanA saMgegeAmAM yAgya gaNI lIdhI che. te have ATaATalA saMparka pachI mAtRjAtinA savAlamAM Aje te AtmIyatAnA pUrA saMtoSa maLI rahe che. 29

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AjanI duniyAnA traNa mukhya savAla che : (1) gAmaDuM, (2) mAtRjAti, (3) pachAta koma. traNe praznomAM dharma UMDA Uta ja phTa che. AmAM ekalA puruSathI krAnti nahi thAya. strI ekale hAthe kadAca karI zake. varSo pahelAM "jagadaMbAnA patro lakhAyA che ane punarjanma heya te mAtuzarIra pAmavAne mArA koDa che. sAthI bhAIonI ane temAMya khAsa bahenenI zubhecchAo ghaNuM khapa lAgaze. A to thoDuM manamAM AvyuM te lakhI nAkhyuM. meM jANyuM ke tane kaMIke hamaNAM hamaNAM ochuM adhUruM lAge che. choTubhAInI mAMdagI vakhate lAgaNIvaza paNa ThIka ThIka thaI javAyuM. huM samajuM chuM ke bahene jema dUpha ApI zake che, tema ene hUMpha khapatI paNuM hoya che. paraMtu ApaNu vartulanI bahenanI bhAta kaMIka evI hevI ghaTe ke je pote bIjA anekane hUMpha Ape, paNa pitAne dUpha maLe ke nahi, teya calAvI le. davAkhAnA aMge te sAmAnya kasoTI ja gaNAya. eTale e bAbatamAM maNibhAInA lakhANa pachI mAre kaMI lakhavApaNuM na hoya. AphrikA jatAM pahelAM te thoDA divasa tuM ahIM rahI zakaze ema mAnuM chuM. prAyogika saMdhanAM javAbadAra kAryakara bhAI bahene te kaI paNa kAme jAya tenI cokakasa noMdha rAkhe ja; emAM tame saMmata thaze ja. ApaNe svecchAe "zista" ane "vAtsalya" tema ja "samatAne sumeLa pADavAno che. mIru majAmAM che, maNibhAI te che ja. tA.ka. pU. gurudevanA nivedana paratve ThIka ThIka vicAraNAo cAlu ja hoya che. paNa kudarata je karaze te ISTa ja karaze. saMtabAla 30

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sAvarakuMDalA tA. 25-8-53 bahena kAzI, ghoDA vakhata pahelAM tane vigate patra lakhyo hate. choTubhAI dvArA tene bIjA badhA samAcAra maLyA ja karatA haze. A patra te Aje pacAsamuM varSa bese che, tyAre mAtRjAtinI zubhecchA mAgavAnI IcachA thatAM tArA jevI keTalIka najIkanI mAtRjAtinA zarIravALI vyakitaone lakhavAnuM mana thayuM, eTale lakhI nAkhuM chuM. tyAM saune prabhusmaraNa. saMtabAla? tamAla lAThI, tA. 13-8-54 bahena kAzI, AvatI kAle pharI varSagAMTha AvIne UbhI rahI. jiMdagImAM eka ochuM thayuM. ekAvanamuM besaze. huM Atmanniti paNa samAjennatinI 41

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sAthe sAthe cAlavAmAM mAnate heI, mArI najIkanAM keTalAM AgaLa vadhyAM te paNa mAguM chuM. saMdha upara mArI maTI AzA che. tame badhAM enAM sabhya che kharuM ne! saMtabAla lAThI, tA. 6-954 bahena kAzI, bahu lAMbe patra lakhI zakyo nathI, paNa ahIM TUMkamAM lakhuM. Ama te badhuM sAruM ja che. paNa keTalIka vAra potAne gamatuM hoya te ja karavAnA AgrahamAM ApaNuM saMsthA pratyenI kartavyabhAvanAmAM ajANatAM khAmI Ave e bhaya Ubho thAya che. je ApaNuM aMgata saMbaMdhIo karatAM ApaNe saMsthAne ja mahAna mAnIzuM te A kSati nahi ja Ave. bIju keTalIka vAra ApaNane jemanI sAthe vicArameLa na paDato hoya tyAM abhAvavALI vRtti rahI che, paNa je mAtRvAtsalya rAkhIzuM to te truTi paNa nahi rahe. ApaNuM vaDIlanI paNa bhUla dekhAya tyAM ApaNe namra bhAve kahIe. paraMtu "hA" mAM "hA" na bhaNue te ApaNuM sevAmAM ghaNI anAsakti AvI raheze. bAkI te pitAputrImAM ghaNuM ghaNuM guNa che ja, ema chatAM AvAM kAraNe dila dubhAyuM hoya tyAM kSamA Apaje. saMtabAla

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23 lAThI, tA. 27-9-54 bahena kAzI, hamaNAM ghaNuM vakhatathI patra nathI. huM patra lakhuM, tyAra pachI tAre lakhavuM, e kaI abhigraha te dhAryo nathI ne cheTubhAIne patre Ave che. temanI vigato ApavAnI Teva sArI che. eTale mAhitI maLyA kare. tyAM paNa patro niyamita AvatA haze. tyAMnA bhAlanaLakAMThA sarvodaya yojanAnAM kAryakara bhAIbahene majAmAM haze. sau sAthe ja, banne vakhatanI prArthanA vakhate to acUka maLatAM haze. tyAMnI navAjUnI lakhaze. A vakhate jUnI duSkALa vakhatanI bAkInI lena meLavavAnI ane saMsAyaTInA dhirANanI vasUlAta meLavavAnI vAtamAM badhAM jAgRta rahejo. saMtabAla lAThI, tA. 6-10-pa4 bahena kAzIbahena, tAro patra maLe. AvuM kAryakara-milana varSamAM eka vAra mAMDa maLe, jyAre mArI hAjarImAM saiddhAtika carcAvicAraNA thAya ane saM.5-3

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bhaviSyanA mArge mAkaLA thavA pAme. eTale e divaseAmAM khIjA badhAM kAmA anivArya hoya te! judI vAta che; bAkInAM cheADIne meTA bhAganAM sarvodaya yeAjanAnAM kAryakara bhAIbahetA tathA tamA badhAM ja AvA, e mAre lakhavuM paDe nahi. naI tAlImanA saMmelananI vAta lakhI te jANI. e saMmelananI mahattA mAre mana A kAma karatAM ochI che; eTalA mATe ke naI tAlImanA kAmane pAyeA A che. enA vinA caNutara Take nahi; Take teA vakhate naitika khAmI rahI jAya. eTale tame saune A vAta lakho ane hAjarIne anivArya jarUrI hAjarI gaNajo. tamArI muzkelI tathA kUvAnI va. vAta jANI. jemAM paisAnI nahi paNu naitika baLanI jarUra paDe tevI mAgaNI mUkatAM have khAsa zIkhavuM joI ze. jarUriyAta ghaTADavAnI vAtA ApaNAM paNa bhAIbahene nahi zIkhe te ApaNe khIrjAne kayA Adarza ApI zakIzuM ? muzkelIonI madhuratAmAM ja AnaMda che. tA.ka. rAhataphALAnuM jANyuM. barAbara che. udharANI patavavA upara tamArA kArya-kaTAsa kADhuM te? e paNa kAryanuM aMga che. 'saMtamAla' 25 lAThI, tA. 12-10-54 bahena kAzI, tArA patra maLyA. tate lAMbA patrA game che, te jANyuM. hamaNuAM te TUMkuM ja lakhuM. 34

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tuM lakhe che teTalI ahIM AvavAnI tAlAvelI haze te tane anukULatA maLI raheze, evI AzA rAkhuM chuM. ApaNI vAta ApaNI jAte ja rajU karavAnI vyavasthA rAkhIe te ja sAruM che. bIjAo ApaNe vAta rajU kare te karatAM ApaNuM sAcI vAta ekalAM ApaNe rajU karIe ane maMjUra thatAM vAra lAge toya A eka ja vadhu sArA mArga mane lAge che. tyAMnA duSkALa-leNu vize khulAse che. tamArA jevAM javAbadAra kAryakatrI bahena mATe pUrI jAgRti heAya eTale pachI kazuM kahevAnuM hoya ja nahi. khAsa te ApaNAM bhAIbahenanI Adata mAtra rAhatanirbhara na banI jAya teTalA pUratI Takera hoya che. bAkI to muzkelIo premathI sahetAM ja mahattA Ave che, svayaM nIpaje che. naI tAlIma saMmelanamAM janAra mATenI tamArI vAta jANI. paNa ahIM mATe e atyaMta kaThina hatuM. eTale A tArIkhe ja vadhu baMdhabesatI karI ane mArA mauna divaso baMdha rAkhyA. patro jotAM lAge che ke zrI mahArAja tA. 20 tathA tA. 21nA ahIM haze ja. tame tA. 17mIthI tA. 21 lagI rokAvAnuM vicArI jarUra AvavAnuM rAkhaze ane tyAMnuM anukULa rIte goThavI leze. saMtabAlA pAlanapura, tA. 2-8-55 unnataedayA kAzIbahena tathA choTubhAI pitAputrI varSothI joDAyAM che. Aje bIjA ceDAM pAnI jema tamene paNa lakhuM chuM. Aje saMtabAlanA sacetana zarIrane bAvanamuM

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bese che. be AkAMkSAo ahIM rajU karuM chuMH (1) sakala jagatanI janetA banavAnA koDa. (2) vyakti nAzavaMta che, mATe tene badale prAgika saMdha ane koMgresa e banne saMsthAo tathA mULe satya ane ahiMsA upara ja mukhya yAra. badhAM kuzaLa haze. Ama te A divase mAru hAjara hoya che. A vakhate ahIM haju hAjara nathI. - tA. ka. Aje baporanA melamAM amadAvAdathI mIru AvI gayela che. nAriyeLI pUnama AvatI kAle che. saMtabAla zae pAlanapura, tA. 27-8-55 bahena kAzIbahena, tyAMthI tA. 23-8-1panA rAtrinA traNa vAgye lakhelo patra maLe. tAre mArI kSamA mAgavAnI che, tenA karatAM mAre tArI kSamA ja vadhu mAgavAnI che. kAraNa ke mANasa game teTale UMce jAya toya tenI te tene pakaDe che. temAM tuM ane huM nirUpAya hoIe, te svAbhAvika che. chatAM jyAre thoDA thoDA vakhate tuM pharavA nIkaLI jAya che, taka maLe ke turata bahAra javA Icche che athavA tevI taka UbhI kare che. tevuM lAgatAM ghaNI vAra tene Takora karuM chuM. paNa Ama te tuM je pradezamAM ane je rIte kAma karI rahI che, te jotAM saune prema ane mAna thAya che ja. tabiyata khUba jALavaje.

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adrumamAM sAta rahI haze. upavAsamAM te bahAdura che, paNa have bahu upavAsa na karavA ghaTe. "vizva vAtsalya jhINavaTathI vAMcI pUchavA jevuM puchAvaje. "saMtabAla tA. 4-11-papa bahena kAzIbahena, tAre patra paNa maLe ane eka mAsanI noMdha paNa maLI. A nedha vAMcI tArI sAhasavRtti joI saMtoSa thAya che. paNa balelavALA pAnAcaMdabhAI hamaNuM ahIM hatA, temaNe khAsa kahyuM : "bahena sAhasa te kheDe che, paNa vadhu paDatuM kheDe che. TUMkamAM rAtre nIkaLIne AvA jokhama kheDavA karatAM rAtre jyAM gayAM hoIe tyAM ja rahevuM e sAruM che. bIje noMdhamAM huM tamArA AMtarika pravAho - manamAM kevA saMkalpavikalpa- UThe che ane kyAM zraddhA-azraddhA vicAromAM jAge che, te badhuM jANavA IcchuM chuM. vaDodarA "samaratabA" mATe na jaI zakAyuM, te jANyuM hatuM. kadAca thoDuMka duHkha paNa thAya, paraMtu ApaNe hamezAM kartavyaparAyaNa ja rahevuM. vikAsa borDa jevI saMsthAomAM paNa samaya bagADe have ApaNane nahi pAlave. zakya teTaluM vadhu dhyAna prAyogika saMdha ane enI pravRttio upara ApavAnuM che. gaNetadhArA aMge je paristhiti AvI rahI che, temAM tamAre saue dhyAna rokavuM paDaze, abhyAsa, ciMtana va. 319

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karavuM paDaze, kheDUte ne kAryakarane 1. saune javAkhA ApavA raheze, joke davAkhAnAnuM kAma aTaae nahi ane vyavasthita cAle, te rIte ja kAma levAze. saMtamAla' 29 dhALakA, tA. 12-9-356 unnatahRdayA bahena kAzIbahena, ziyALathI tA. 10~~~'56nuM kArDa tarata maLI gayuM che. ahIM je paryuSaNuparva vyAkhyAnamALA rakhAyelI te vyAkhyAtA te mAzubhAI dvArA avAranavAra tane maLatAM ja hatAM, eTale e vize lakhavAnI jarUra nathI. nAnIkhArunuM cothuM kendra tA. 15-9-56nA zarU thaze. e mATe cheATubhAI, aMbubhAI va, javAnA che. javAraja kendra paNu ghaNuM ja vyavasthita ane niyamita cAlyuM. phUlajIbhAInI hAjarIe bahu suMdara bhAga bhajavyA. ahIM tA. 10-9-'56nI sabhA ghaNI suMdara thaI. phUlabhAI te atyaMta preraNAdAyaka suMdara evuM eADhyA. AkhI sabhAne preraNA pItI karI mUkI. A temanI zakti, tyAga ane samajamAMthI ja AvatI jAya che. tArI pazu lAgaNI dhaNI vAra dUbhavI haze, tenI kSamA mAguM huM ne mArI te tane kSamA che ja. jazubhAI ne pazu. mukhIne tathA 38

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matAdArane paNa mArI kSamApanAnuM kaheje. saiddhAntika rIte e dhA bhAI e AgaLa ne AgaLa vadhe, tevI prabhuprArthanA. paDhAra, harijana, vAdharI tathA gAmamAM saune prabhusmaraNu. 30 satakhAla' AdarADA, 8-7-'17 3. ha. kAzIbahena, tamArA ane bhAIlAlabhAI nA ema banne patrA maLyA. cheTubhAinA jetapura javAnA samAcAra hatA. varasAde thADAM khamaiyAM karyAM. tethI vAvaNAM va. sArI peThe thaI gayAM che. have varasAda tarata paDe tevI taiyArI thaI rahI che. krAne dUra karavAnuM vicArathI saheluM che. jo vyApaka buddhi ane UMDI dRSTi tathA tadanusAra jIvanasAdhanA Ave te krodha jarUra zamI jaze. 39 bhA. na. khe. meM.nI seAsAyaTInA sabhyae maMDaLanuM lavAjama ApavuM zarU karyuM, te jANI saMteSa. e dizAmAM tame dhyAna kharAkhara ApI tarata e kA sAMgApAMga patAvajo. mIThApuranuM samAdhAna thaI jAya ane saiddhAMtika rIte thAya, te jaldI jarUrI che. zrI DhebarabhAI khiyata asvastha thatAM Aje AvI nathI zakayA. AdaraDAmAM adhAMya majAmAM che. sa tamAla'

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AdarIDA, tA. 14-9-'pa7 bahena kAzIbahena, ziyALavAsIo uparane mAre tAjo patra tamane maLyo haze. vigata jANuM haze. zrImanajI AvI gayA e kudaratI rIte ghaNuM sAruM thayuM. bIjI beMka cUMTaNI AvI rahI che. maNibahena prA. saMghanAM sabhyA; chatAM prA. saMgha taLenI sAmAjika Arthika kSetre svataMtra evI zuddha grAmasaMsthAnA TekedAra umedavAra sAme AvIne UbhA rahyAM, e atyaMta khedanI ghaTanA banI che. prA. saMghanA maMtrIzrI choTubhAIe lakhyuM che ke mAre maNibahenane rUbarU bolAvIne ghaTatuM kahevuM, paNa meM te mArI maryAdA mujaba ane dRSTine anukULa lakhyuM che, paNa tenI asara te hAla thAya tevuM nathI. kudaratamaiyA ja kare che, te sArA mATe ja haze. A te eka UMDI vyathA jaNAvI. siMtabAla 32 AdaraDA, tA. 11-10-57 unnatahRdayA kAzIbahena, .. jo ke tame te kharekhara bahAdura cho, eTale kazI ciMtA

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khAsa nathI. ahIMthI nArAja laIne tame gayAM, teTalA pUratuM manamAM raheluM, paNa have to tamAre saMtoSadAyaka patra AvatAM nirAMta thaI che. bApujInI DAyarI' tathA khAsa to maLe te (gUMdImAM haze) bApu mArI mA' e pustaka manubahenanuM maMgAvI roja rAtre vAMcavAnuM rAkhaje. lsi tabAla 33 bharUca, tA. 5-12-'17 pU. bhAI, bahena kAzIbahena, bhAIzrI nAnacaMdabhAI ApanA traNenA pa mahArAjazrIne maLyA che. kanubhAI e jAhera mAphI mAgI. kAzIbahena pAse AvIne paNa mAphI mAgI e nAnIsUnI vAta nathI. janatAnI jAgRti AgaLa game tevA mANasane namavuM paDe che. satya tare ja che. paNa tene bahAra kADhavA puruSArtha joIe. bacubhAI ane manasukhamAmAne Aje patra che. saMghe cAturmAsa mATe AmaMtraNa ApavAno TharAva pasAra karyo che. ane te rIte teo bharUcanA divasamAM game te tArIkhe AvI jaze. tamane paNa khyAla temaNe Apyo che. eTale tamo tA. 8, 9, 10 mATe bharUca AvI jaze. dA. bhAIvALo patra ahIM rAkhe che. rUbarU tamane ApI daIza. kAzIbahenane patra vAMce. teo koI jAtanI ciMtA na kare. je thAya che te sArA mATe. navAM mUlya sthApanArane mATe AvuM te AvavAnuM ja. mahArAjazrIne paNa eTalA pUratuM ja kahevAnuM hoya che.

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mIrAMbahena majAmAM che. haju zarIre sAruM na gaNAya, paNa te ema ja cAlyA karavAnuM. A vakhatanA vizva vAtsalyamAM vagara nAme kanubhAIvALA prasaMga lIdhe che. kAyama mATe AvI noMdha rahe te jarUrI che. li. maNibhAInAM vaMdana tA.ka. kAzIbahenanI eka rIte mArA kAraNe nimitta UbhuM karIne bahu moTI koTI karI nAkhI. paNa kAzIbA ema kAMI thoDuM banAya che ! kanubhAIe A badhuM dilathI karyuM hoya te teo chelle chelle jiMdagI sudhArI leze. dilathI nahi karyuM hoya to jAte duHkhI vadhu thaze ne samAjane duHkhI karaze. temaNe have baMdUka rAkhavI choDI devI joIe. nAnacaMdabhAI dvArA tathA tamArA ane janatAnA prayAse suMdara kAma thayuM, Do. sAhebane gamyuM tethI saMtoSa. have tarata AvI jazo. saMtabAla ziyALa, tA. 13-5-58 u. he. kAzIbahena, lalitAbahena gUMdI paMcAyatamAM che, mATe kAzIbahene ziyALa paMcAyatamAM rahevuM joIe, te vidhAna barAbara nahi thAya. huM te je IcchuM chuM te eTaluM ja ke saMghanI niyAmaka samitinA sabhya-sabhyAonI javAbadArI sauthI vizeSa che. temanI pAsethI huM e AzA rAkhuM chuM 42

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ke teo janatA-taMtra, janarAja-taMtrathI mukta rahI janatA ane rAjya banethI alaga sakriya taTastha bhUmikA para rahe. nahi te je mahAna kAryanI javAbadArI saMghanI niyAmaka samitine mAthe AvI paDI che, temAM tene ghaNI bAdhAo Avaze. tame saMghanAM upapramukha che, eTale vicAravA jevuM che. joke grAma paMcAyatamAM AvavA pahelAM ja A vastu vicAravA jevI hatI. paNa cAle je thayuM te kharuM! keTalIka vAra ghaNA anubhava bAda ja mULa vastu samajAtI hoya che. kAzIbahena bahAra rahIne samatulA ThIka jALavI zakaze. jyAre aMdara haze te pakSapAtI gaNAI jaze. eTale emane baMne dala upara kaMTrola ocho thaI jaze; matAdAra samaju che. teo je nyAyapaNe UbhA raheze to ziyALanuM hita jaladI thaze. kezubhAI je zuddha nyAyane mArga ane premabharyA vartanane mArge vaLaze, te paNa ziyALanuM bhaluM thavAnuM ja che. kezubhAImAM guNe ghaNuM che, paNa keTalIka vastuo je sudhArI nAkhe, to ja te guNe dIpI UThe. Aje paMcAyatane paNa teNe paMcavArSika yojanA banAvI paDhAra, harijana va. ne prakAza, saphAI, pANI va. ne lAbha apAvI, gAmamAM je kUvAo barAbara na hoya te barAbara karAvI, rastAnI marAmata karAvI. je barAbara kAma calAvAze, te jarUra paMcAyatanI ijajata vadhI jaze. jhAMpa yojanA have dhIre dhIre amalamAM AvatI jaze, eTale pANInuM kAyamI duHkha jaze. paNa tyAM lagI pANIvALA mahArAjavALe ku je bhAMgI nakhAya che, te sAro karI nakhAya. taLAvanA kUvAo paNa sArA thAya. pANInI paNa sagavaDa evI rIte utArAya ke jethI devAnI ne baheno tathA bhAIone (vArigRhanI) nAhavAnI vyavasthA thaI jAya te paMcAyata kaMIka kArya karI zake che, tene janatAne khyAla Avaze. amuka nANAM sarakArI bIjI janAomAMthI paNa maLI jaze. prakamAM paMcAyata kAryakAriNI bane te jarUrI che. amuka mudata pUratAM kAzIbahena cAlu rahevAM jarUrI hoya, to rAjInAmAnuM bhale teTalA

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vakhata mATe mulatavI rahe. paNa aMte e mArge gayA vinA chUTake nathI. A thaI paMcAyata aMge vAta. tA. ka. DaoN. sAheba,* nAnacaMdabhAIne ApanA khabara ApyA. ThIka thayuM. kAzIbahenane have ApanA sAMnidhyathI khUba madada maLaze. "grAmapaMcAyata" bAbatamAM meM kAzIbahenane patramAM lakhyuM ja che. Apa avAranavAra patra lakhatA raheze. sAvadhAnIthI ApanI udAratAne sadupayeAga thavAthI vAtAvaraNa khUba suMdara banaze ane chatAM dAMDa tane pratiSThA nahi maLe ema mAnuM chuM. saMtabAla 35 moTA paDA, tA. 28-3-'12 priya choTubhAI tathA u. ha. kAzIbahena, ( patra maLe. kApaDiyA bAbata aMgata rIte na jotAM samAjaracanAne saMdarbhamAM vicArazo to navAI nahi lAge. bhadra saMskRti ane saMta saMskRti vacce virodha rahevAne ja. sAmAnya samAja bhadra saMskRtithI AkarSAya che. eTale zarUAtamAM evA virodha thavAnA. AthI ApaNe ApaNI cAlu paddhati mujaba che yuddha to jagavavuM paNa prema rAkhI." e valaNa rAkhIe chIe. jAgRti te sahaja rIte rahe che, te rahe che * sva. Do. raNachoDabhAI bhaTa. te vakhate te saMghanA vizvavatsala auSadhAlacamAM DeAkaTara hatA. 44

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ja. tethI te meM priya paramAnaMdabhAIne lakhyuM che ke vyakti tarIke saMtabAlanI tamane lAgatI hoya, te TIkA jarUra kare, paNa anubaMdha vicAradhArAnA mizanane ke bhA. na. prayogane utArI pADavAnuM na kare. kAraNa ke tema karavAmAM ahiMsaka krAntinA kAryanI rukAvaTa thaze... . ApaNuM AkhI rItane tame jANe ja che. strIpuruSanA saMbaMdho paraspara pUraka tarIke hoya, te Akhe viSaya che. strIne upara Aja lagI puruSa vadhu kaThora rahyo che, tyAre je mahilA jati e ApaNuM pragane ahiMsaka vAhana hoya, to ApaNe kemaLa banavuM ja rahyuM. mAtra saiddhAtikatA AvIne UbhI rahe, tyAM nirupAye kaThoratA dharavI paDe athavA kaThoratA (nArI pAtrane) lAge te judI vAta che. sAdhvIjIe vahAlA bhagavAna tarIke lakhyuM, tene UMDe vicAra karyA bAda vahAlA bhaktA athavA vahAlI bhaktA tarIke lakhAyuM. AtmIyatA ane kakSA banneno vicAra karyA bAda jayAM zarIrasparza na thAya tyAM hRdayasparza mATe vicAra ane vANu sAdhanarUpa bane che. to badhAM jANo cho ke A jIvanamAM strIsaMbhoga karyo ja nathI. vikArI sparza dIkSA bAda paNa thayela che. samauna ekAMtavAsa vakhate e badhAnI kaDaka AlecanA thaI gaI je jAhera nivedana va. dvArA covIsa varSa pahelAM kahyuM che. ane vizva vAtsalyanAM parAkSa darzana thayAM. dharmadraSTie samAjaracanAnA pAyAmAM - amuka hade vikAsa thayA bAda je pAtra dvArA vizALa kAma levAnI kalpanA thAya, tevAM jokhama kheDavAM ja rahyAM. cAritryabaLane pAya satya che. mAtRjAtine nirbhaya ane surakSita rAkhavA pUratI guptatAne viveka jALavavo ke sUcavavo, e sahaja che, paNa teo pote ja AgaLa thaIne aguptatA irache ke jAhera kare, te sonAmAM sugaMdha jevuM gaNAya. krAtinI pahela vyaktithI thAya ane thaI che. sAdhusAdhvIzibiranA tabakkAmAM prathama pAtra kAtinI dRSTithI sAdhu tarIke DuMgarazI muni tathA nemimuni AgyA tema sAdhvI tarIke samarpaNapUrvaka AvyAM.... eTale 45

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satya ane ziyaLanI maulikatA sAcavI dhIraja ane zraddhApUrvaka temanI badhI sAttvika icchAe sAcavI te mAdhyama dvArA kArya levuM. A kalpanAe je thayuM che, te yogya thayuM che. AvaraNe| tA AvavAnAM ja. ane minimAM jeTalA saphaLa thayA teTalA ahIM tatkALa te nathI ja thayA. chatAM zraddA kema tajAya ? je te e cAra ja hAya, te prAraMbhamAM gaLe na Utare athavA peTamAM dukhatAM kAI mAthuM phUTe, tyAM ApaNe nirupAya hAI e. pazu jijJAsA hoya tyAM lagI samajAvavAnA ne samajavAne . . . 36 priya AtmabaMdhu cheTubhAI tathA kAzIbahena, tamAre patra maLyuM. Aje bhoga bhagavA ja jyAre kRtrima sAdhanAne ke oNparezanA dhodha vahI rahyo che, tyAre saMyamanI dRSTi chatAM ekAda bhUla thaye saMtati AvI paDe, e bhaye oNparezananI kSamyatAnuM vidhAna khataranAka nIvaDaze. saMyama rAkhavA chatAM saMtAna janmaze (kAIka vakhatanI galate) te e saMtAna samAja tathA dezamAM bhAre nahi paDe. bhAgajanya saMtAna ja bhArarUpa thAya che. A lakSyamAM levuM ghaTe ane dine dine jyAre vizvanI eka sarakAra jAya che, tyAre kRtrima sAdhane ke oNparezanane karavA e ja dharma che. 1. A patrane pachInA bhAga maLatA nathI. javAraja, tA. 3-10-'62 4 taraph valaNuM vadhatuM kaThera paNe virAdha sa'tamAla

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37 dilhI-6, tA. 910~~'63 vahAlAM unnatahRdaya! kAzIbahena, tamAruM aMtardezIya kavara maLyuM. zrI. . nuM mArate lIdhe Akhare ispitAlamAM mRtyu thayuM te samAcArathI e rIte du:kha thayuM che: eka tA ziyALa prathamathI ApaNI prayAgapravRttionuM suMdara kendra che ane jyAM tamArA jevAM pAyAnAM kAryakara bahena beThAM che. (2) peAtAnA manamAM kAMI haiAya tA paMca dvArA ane khIjA ahiMsaka prayAge dvArA prazno patAvavA joI e. tene badale Ama mArAmArI para UtaravuM te ghaNuM du:khada che. have A praznamAM bhUla karanArane sAmAjika rIte sajA thaI yAgya prAyazcitta thAya te jarUrI che. . . .nAM mAtAjI tathA patnIne amArA vatI tame khUbakhUba dilAsA Apo. sadgata AtmAno zAMti icchuM chuM. gAmamAM saune yAda karavAnuM kaheje tathA vairabhAva vadhe nahi paNa ghaTe te mATe kezubhAI, matAdAra, leAkapAla paTele, garAsiyA bhAI e, harijana, vAdharI bhAI e, paDhAra bhAI A prayatna kare. sau haLImaLIne rahe, e saMdezA Apajo. 47 saratakhA'

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38 kalakattA, tA. 2-7-'64 vahAlA u. huM. kAzIbahena, cAra* muddAmAla sAthe maLI gayAnI khInA jANI ameAne saune atyaMta saMtASa thayA che. mIrAMbahenane te atizaya AnaMda thayA che. A kAI camatkAra ja lAge ! pazu A ghaTanA ApaNe mATe ghaNI sAvadhAnIthI rahevAnuM sUcavI jAya che. polIsa, sTAphanAM mANusA ane gAma tathA kAryakaro 1. saunA akhaMDa puruSArthathI moTI AphatamAMthI pAra UtarI gayAM. vAdharI, paDhAra, hirajane va.nAM paNu ghaNuAM bhAgya ja gaNAya. satakhAla' *pachAta vaganA majUrAnI paDhAra sahakArI maMDaLImAM cAvI thaI hatI tenA nirdeza che. 48

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kalakattA-20, tA. ra9-7-64 vahAlAM unnatahRdayA kAzIbahena, corI thaI ane cora sAthe muddAmAla maLI gaye. A AkhAya prasaMga eTale romAMcaka ane adbhuta che ke ahIM paNa je sAMbhaLe che, tenA upara prabhAva paDe che. huM A vakhatanA vi. vA. mAM ene levA mAguM chuM. choTubhAIe be-traNa vAto lakhI che chatAM vizeSa huM paNuM lakhuM : - kAvAbhAI temanA jamAI dIkare ane cUMthAbhAI pagI vagerene tame ane gAme bacAvavA prayatna karyo te dhanyavAdane pAtra. nahi te "haLavuM leAhI havAladAranuM." vAgharI te cera ja gaNAya. chatAM polIsane tame je javAba ApyA, mArathI bacAvyA te suMdara thayuM. ahIM ja ApaNuM prAganI vizeSatA che. hemubhAI mukhIne taLapadA bhAIo tarapha - je kanumukhIne putra maryo, te prasaMgathI - duHkha che. chatAM "pele cora kahe che koInuM nAma ApuM?" "chatAM e cora na hoya te nahi" evA javAba Ape che, te mAre mana hemubhAInI khAnadAnI batAve che. temane paNa dhanyavAda. polIsane ghaNuM dhanyavAda. teo tamane ja anusare che, e abhuta vAta che ane chatAM bagodarA laI jAya che, e badhI vAte piolIsa mATe sabhAva prere che. sa. 5-4

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gAmanAM mANase te khUba ja dhanyavAdane pAtra che. kAraNa ke divasarAta joyA vinA kAma karyuM. ApaNu davAkhAnAnA sTAphane dhanyavAda ApavA te ApaNuM jAtane dhanyavAda ApavA barAbara che. paNa chatAMye dhanyavAda De.ne, amRtalAlabhAIne, mAstarane, bAvAjIne ane saune. tame "mAra na maro " e to samajAya. paNa paisA ApavA paDhAra AgevAne taiyAra thayA, chatAM nA pADI e tamArI siddhAntanikA batAve che. ApaNA kAryakaro keTalI jhINavaTathI vicAre che, tene A namUna che. mIrAMbahenane paNa A ghaTanAthI ghaNe meTA harSa thAya che. mAtra eka moTo akasesa e ke je paDhAra kema mATe A saMsAyaTI thaI, je paDhAra mATe mArA dilamAM atyata abhAva che te ja paDhAra cera nIkaLyA. bhAre duHkha thAya che. AnuM prAyazcitta emane kahyA vinA huM ja karI nAkhuM ? nA. tamane ane paDhAra komane cheTubhAIe lakhyuM ja che eTale huM upavAsarUpe prArthanA nahIM karuM paNa mArA duHkhane pragaTa karyA vinA kema rahI zakuM? je pachAta kAmane ApaNe dharmamaya samAjaracanAnAM traNa paikInuM je eka pAtra gaNue chIe te ja kemanAM mANasa Ama kare ? khera. rAmajIbhAIne te huM kudaratI cAhata. vAte bahu DAhyA. chokarAne saMskAra na ApI zakyA. have paDhAra koma evuM kare ke A chokaro A ghaTanA nimitte sudharI jAya. mane vizvAsa che ke A aMge paDhAra kemanAM bhAIbahene kamamAM kama prArthanA karaze ja. saMtabAla? vAtsalayamayI bahenazrI kAzIbahena, sasneha prabhusmaraNa. tamArI sevAbhAvanA ane grAmane saMskAra arpavA mATe dhanyavAda. muni nemicaMdra

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40 kalakattA--1, tA. 11-10-'kRpa priya TubhAI tathA kAzIbahena, pazuliniSedhaka samitie 'visarjana' nATaka zrI ravIndranAtha ThAkuranuM baMgALI kalAkArA dvArA bhajavALyuM. suMdara rIte saLa bhajavAyuM. lekA khuza thayA. alabatta baMgALI na samajanArAM bhAIbahenane abhinayacAturyathI ja saMtoSa rAkhavA paDayo. e nimitte je 'sUvenIra' chapAyuM, temAM sabhya-kI, paryuSaNu vakhatane! prakIrNa kALA ane jAhera khabara tathA phI vagere maLI kharca jatAM vIseka hajAra baccA gaNuAya. eTale have samiti peAtAnuM kAma sArI peThe cAlu rAkhI zakaze. mArI icchA te thADA prAMtAmAMya kAmacalAu si cAlu rahe tevI che. bAkI kAma A varSamAM asAdhAraNu gatie paheAMcI gayuM. gaI vaizAkhI baMgALI varSanA AraMbhe eka paNa pazutA vadha na thayAnA khakhkhara paMDA taraphathI jyeAtibApune maLelA. te temaNe ahIMnI eka jAherasabhAmAM peAtAnA vaktavyamAM khuzI vyakta karatAM kahela eka mAsa bali mATe jateA ja hatA, paNu ApaNI cepaDI vAMcIne ali kAyama mATe tyajyuM . ane e bakarAne paNu amariye karyAM, ApaNe icchatA hatA ke AvA leAnuM jAheramAM sanmAna karavuM ane eka meTuM saMmelana rAkhavuM; paNa tevAmAM yuddhanA saMyegA AvyA. chatAMya sUrvenIranI vAta lIdhI hatI, te pAra pADI dIdhI. zivAbhAI paTela tA. 17-10-6panA parisaMvAda annabhAva aMge rAkhI rahyA che. ANaMdamAM rAkhela che. eca. ema. paTelane sAthe che, eTale vAMdhA nahi Ave. zAsrIjI gaI kAle khelyA. anname race

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atyaMta mahatvanuM che. paNa paravaDatA bhAva na apAya to kheDUte kaI rIte vadhu pakavI zake? sabhAge dhyAna to gayuM che. azoka mahetA paNa A parisaMvAdamAM hAjara rahe tevI dhAraNA che. parIkSitabhAI lAlAkAkA pachI ekAeka gayA. kurezIbhAIe temanI jhINAmAM jhINI kriyA lakhI che. khUba gaLagaLA thaIne lakhI che. temanI joDI bhaMgAI gaI paNa ApaNe mRtyu sAme nirupAya chIe. baLavaMtarAya zahIda thayA. banne jaNu kamAI gayA, paNa pAkistAnanI to jaMgaliyatanAM ja darzana thayAM. | gADI jema sagavaDa Ape che, tema duHkha paNa Ape ja che. gheDA para kaSTa veThIne je sevA apAya, tenA karatAM A meTaramAM besIne kareluM sevAnuM mUlya ochuM ja rahevAnuM; paNa mULa te kAzIbahene ja vicAravAnuM. kAraNa ke temanI sevA eTalI amUlya che ke teone jema anukULa lAge te yogya ja hoya, emAM zaMkAnuM kAraNa nathI. tame sau je vicAraze te yogya ja hoya. A te mane lAgyuM te lakhyuM. joke have te laI lIdhI ja che, eTale savAla rahete ja nathI. meM agAu paNa A matalabanuM lakhyuM haze, paNa chevaTanuM kAzIbahena ane sabhyo upara ja cheDayuM haze. eTale have je thayuM te sAruM thayuM mAnaje. dAdA dharmAdhikArInuM "bhUmiputranuM lakhANa joyuM. te para agralekha lakhyA vinA na rahI zakAyuM. "bhArata mATe zAparavALo agralekha tamane game te jANu sateSa. palAM kRtrima sAdhano dvArA saMtatinidhine pracAra karanAra yuvatIbahenane tamee hAdika rIte sAcI vAta saMbhaLAvI, te ghaNuM sAruM thayuM. chevaTe nAnAM ja samajaze tyAre ja meTAM samajavAnAM che. rAjya karatAM prajA moTI che. prajA karatAM prajAsevake moTA che, te vahelAmoDAM samajyA vinA chUTako nathI.. sa tabAla?

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cicaNI, tA. 21-9-70 priya choTubhAI tathA vahAlAM uha. kAzIbahena, aMbubhAI taraphathI tAra ane patra vigatavAra AvatAM chApAMnI vAta karatAM ghaNuM vadhu jANavAnuM maLyuM. jAnamAlanI, mAnava, pazu ane jamInanI rIte pArAvAra hAni thaI. samayasara ApaNA kAryakare cetyA ane kArya zarU paNa karI dIdhuM. eTaluM ja nahi comera tAro paNa lAMbA karIne AkhI mAhitI ApI tethI samayasara sArI peThe rAhata maLI gaI. Aje pUnAthI khaMDheriyAne patra che. temaNe jabara puruSArtha da. AphrikA va. sthaLe tAre karIne Adaryo che. pahelAM te nANAMnI mAgaNImAM temane saMkoca thato hato. paNa saMkeca cheDI 40-50ne kharca karI zukravAra tA. 18-9-70 e badhuM eramela dvArA ravAnA karyAne pAtra che. keTalI tAlAvelI ! haju apIla karI nathI, paNa huM IcchuM chuM ke zrI mahArAja apIla kare. sarakAra saDaka, kheDUtonI khetI ane makAnanuM kAma jhaDapI le. sAmAjika saMsthAe rAhata, makAnanuM kAma ane dilAsAnuM kAma jhaDapI le. saMkIrNa rAjakAraNa AvyA vinA te suMdara kAma thAya! khera, ApaNe bhA. ne. uparAMta jhAlAvADa jille laI laIe te ThIka. ahIMthI giradharabhAI va. tyAM thaI jAya tema jaNAvyuM to che. amRtalAlabhAIno patra che. pAMca pAMca hajAra traNeya mAtRsamAjone ane bIjA meLavI mokalavA vicAryA jaNAya che. AbhaphATayA jevuM thayuM athavA nAne pralaya jANe! paNa saunI mahenatathI leke beThA thaze. saMtabAlaH pa

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1970 priya zizurAja tathA priya uha. kAzIbahena, tame pitAputrI zAMtithI raheje ane ziyALAmAM ja khUpaje. bahena kAzIe ke tamee A vakhate vaDodarA javAnI vAta na karI, e aMge mane vicAre dhaNA AvyA. ATale saMkoca zAthI, e kaMI samajAyuM nahi. cAle, enuM kaMI na rAkhaje. vadhu ne vadhu udAra ane AtmalakSI rahevAya, evuM tamane baLa maLe! je kAryakaramAM UNapa hoya, te ApaNe pUravAnI che, e khyAlamAM raho ! ApaNAM kAryakara bhAIbahenanAM jUtha na racAya, enI paNa kALajI khUba ja rAkhyA karaje. tame vadhu ceTayAM che, mATe ATaluM kahevAmAM saMkoca have nathI rAkhatA. paNa haju mULa daSTi ja keTalIkavAra bhulAI jatI hoya evuM banatuM mane lAge che. paNa huM jarAya nirAza nathI thatuM. tamArI zraddhA tamene satyane paMthe vadhu ne vadhu laI jaze, evI khAtarI rAkhuM ne ? saMtabAla 43 tA. 16-8-71 vahAlAM unnatahRdayA kAzIbahena, tame A patra maLe te pahelAM zAMtithI pahoMcI gayAM haze. tAje tamAre ane priya cheTubhAIne patra vigatavAra maLyo hato. 54

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mArA upavAsanI ciMtA na karaze. ahIM beThAM beThAM badhAonI sAMkaLa sAMdhavI hoya to teTalI ja vadhu tapasyA anivArya banI rahe che. tame tyAM gayAM, teTalA pUrato saMtoSa thAya che. tame tyAM gayA pachI tyAMne A hevAla je becAra kempa che. te vize lakhIne mane mokalaje. sadbhAgye gujarAtanAM ghaNo bhAI baheno tyAM AvyAM che. gUjarAta vidyApIThanA tathA veDachI saMsthAnA paNa vidyArthIo tyAM pahoMcyA che. saphAInA kAmanI tyAM khUba ja jarUra che. kAraNa ke ATalo moTo samudAya bheLA thaye hevAthI khAvuM pIvuM zuM? kyAM baLakhA pheMkavA? kyAM pezAba kare ? kayAM saMDAsa javuM ? - A badhuM ja je vyavasthita thaI zake te khUba ja sAruM vAtAvaraNa nirmANa thAya. bIjI bAbata che nItinI ane dharmanI; uparAMta lokazAhInI rakSAnI. arasaparasa ekarUpa thaIne A badhA nirvAsito rahe. temAM hiMdu-muslima, harijana-savarNa jevA bhedabhAva na hoya ane teone Aje je kaSTa ane atyAcAra sahevAM paDyAM che, temAM zAtA Upaje, tevuM dilAsAnuM sAdhana paNa jarUrI che. Akhare te pUrva baMgALamAMthI UThele prajAnAda jagatamAM vijayI bane te jarUrI che. kAraNa ke tema thAya te ja gAMdhIjInI ane tenA anusaMdhAnamAM lIdhelI ahiMsaka samAjaracanAnI (dharmamaya samAjaracanAnI) vAta AgaLa vadhI zake. tamAro ane choTubhAIno vigatavAra patra maLe. huM upavAsa na karuM, e jAtane tamAre baMnene sUra che. ahIM to tamAruM vahAlAM meTAM bahena beThAM che ja. ema ne ema kAMI upavAsa thatA nathI hatA, paNa comera Aga lAge tyAre satyarUpI paramezvaranA anusaMdhAna mATe e sivAya zAMti 5NuM bhAgye ja thaI zakatI hoya che. paraMtu tame e bAbatanI kazI phikara na karaze. juone hamaNAM mujibura rahemAna para "khaTalAnuM nATaka cAlI rahyuM che. e mAnavIno doSa to eTale ja ne, ke mane lekanI jaMgI bahumatI maLI gaI 55

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pAkistAnanA rakSaNane nAme je evA leAkapriya mAnavI para yAhyAkhAnanI gALI cAlI te jagatamAM pharI pAchI leAkazAhInI karu hAlata thavAnI. leAkazAhInuM gaLuM A rIte chaDeceAka dazAmAM TuMpavAmAM Ave te ahiMsA AgaLa zI rIte vadhI zake? eTale duniyAmAM ahiMsAnA vikAsa ane vijaya mATe tyAga, tapa ane duniyAnAM evAM sArAM sArAM paribaLe!nuM saMdhAna karavuM ja rahyuM. Ama te tyAMnA samAcAra chApAM mArata jANavA maLe ja che. tame tyAM pratyakSa gayAM che!, eTale vadhu vigate badhuM jANuvA maLaze. sa tamAla' 44 cicaNI, tA. 7-9-'71 priya AtmabaMdhu cheTubhAI, ziyALathI tA. 3-971nuM tamAruM aMtardezIya maLyuM. vigata jANI AnaMda thayA. atyAranA saMjoge jotAM yAghAkhAna namatuM teALaze ane have pUrva baMgALanA prazna pate tevA saMjoga dekhAya che. eka lAkha bhArata Ape ane bIjA cha lAkha duniyAnAM rASTro Ape ane emAM prathama nAma saMta vinAbAnuM lakhAya, e vicAra jAhera peparamAM AvI gayA; tenuM paNa mUlya aneka gaNuM che. pa

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mArI bAbatamAM tamArA matane maLato janakamunine patra Avyo che, jeno upalo javAba meM lakhyo che. ApaNuM bhA. na. prA. saMghanA pramukha zrI kurezabhAIne mArA tyAM javAnI vAta gaLe UtaratI nahotI ane temanI vAtamAM bahena madAlasAbahenane paNa saMmata temaNe karyAnuM patramAM jaNAvyuM hatuM. zAradAbahena ane kAzIbahenane saMyukta patra paryuSaNa nimittane Avele, temAM nivasita kempamAM pharI AvyAM, te vAta hatI. have kAmanI vigata kAzIbahena lakhaze. "saMtabAla 45 cicaNI, tA. 18-9-171 vahAlAM unnatahRdayA kAzIbahena, tamAruM suMdara ane vigatavAra aMtardezIya kavara maLyuM. te vAraMvAra vAMcavAnuM mana thAya tevuM ane hRdaya bhIMjavI jAya tevuM che. tamoe ziyALa choDyA pachI TUMkamAM paNa atyAra sudhInuM sAMgopAMga varNana karyuM che.... pitAnI vahAluDI nAnI bahena pazcima baMgALamAM pUrva baMgALamAMthI AvelAM duHkhI nirvAsitonI sevAmAM bhA. na. prA. saMghanI pratinidhirUpe gujarAta rAhata samiti taraphanI DaoNkaTara TukaDI sAthe pahoMcI gaI che, e vAtathI tamArAM vahAlAM moTAM bahena mIrAMbahenane khUba gaurava thAya te svAbhAvika che. V9

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tame jANe che ke A jANIne mane keTalo badho harSa thAya! kAraNa ke ahIM beThAM ciMtana te meTe bhAge pUrva baMgALanuM karyA karato houM chuM. meM gaI kAle rAtripravacanamAM ane bIjA arthamAM prabhAtapravacanamAM paNa A ja vAta karI hatI. je traNacAra karuNa dazya tame tamArA patramAM darzAvyAM che tethI chApAMomAM ane reDiye mArata AvatA samAcAre paNa barAbara - atizaktivALA jarA paNuM nathI. kadAca aktivALA ja siddha thAya che. alabatta, aMte satya ja jItaze. paNa keTaluM badhuM aMdhAruM Aje chavAI gayuM che. joke have saMyukta rASTra saMghanA maMtrI jarUra kAMIka te jAgyA che, ane chApAMoe duniyAbharanI mAnavajAtanA aMtarAtmAne ekasarakho jagADI dIdho hoya tema jaNAya che. khera. have thoDuM tamane ja puchAvI laIe. tame te madAlasAbahena vagerenI sAthe carcAvicAraNA karIne lakhI zakaze ? 1. tyAM kaI kaI pravRttiomAM ahIMnAM sevaka sevikAonI 2. kyAre sUvAnuM ane kyAre UThavAnuM tyAMnI vyavasthAmAM hoya 3. savAranA ane sAMjanA kaI jAtanA bhejanane tyAM kama rAtribhejanane tyAga heya, temane vAMdho nahi Ave ne? 5. tyAM sevaka-sevikAone rahevA karavA mATe zAM zAM sAdhane hoya che? 6. ahIMthI kayAM sAdhane lAvavAM raheze? 58

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bAlapravRttio ane dhArmika vAtAvaraNa ane hiMdI bhASAmAM dharmamaya AzvAsana vacano vagere mArA namra mate khUba ja upayogI thaI paDaze, kharuM ne? kAraNa ke sAmudAyika karmonAM duHkhada phaLo Aje AkhI mAnavajAta kaI ne koI prakAre bhogavI rahyuM che, tyAre e duHkhada phaLomAM paNa prasannacitta rAkhI AtmamastImAM rahevuM e atyaMta jarUrI che. ane temAM te dhArmikavRttivALAM sevaka-sevikAe ja khUba upayogI siddha thaze. vijaya te aMte pUrva baMgALanA prajAnAdane ja thaze, ema spaSTa jaNAya che. paraMtu Aje pUrva baMgALanI prajAne na chUTake paNa sazastra sAmane cUpacApa karavo paDe che. tyAM ahiMsA vikAsane janatA, janasevake ane saMtAno saMyukta vyApaka dharmabhAvanAne kAryakrama maLe, e atyaMta jarUrI che. tamone tAlimArakhAna dvArA judAjudA nirvAsita kempa ane TheTha sImA lagI jovAnuM maLyuM te ThIka thayuM. aneka saMsthAo vividha prakAre tyAM noMdhapAtra sevAo Ape che ane temAM paNa gujarAta vizeSa camake che, te jANI AnaMda thAya che. pazcima pAkistAnI sainikonA julama vagere jANI khUba ja duHkha thAya che. tenI sAme pUrva pAkistAna aDIkhama UbhuM rahI zakayuM che, te sAzcarya prabhukRpAno prabhAva jaNAyA vinA rahetuM nathI, okasaphema saMsthAnI vigata paNa AnaMda Ape che. saphAI vagere kAryakramamAM veDachInA bhAI o namUnedAra ja gaNAya. tame tabiyata jALavI raheje. vigato avakAze lakhyA karaje. sataAla 59

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46 vahAlAM unnatahRdayA bahena kAzIbahena, tyAMnA tamArA patra tyAMnI, pUrva Azraya pAmI nAsI AvelI prajAnI ApI jAya che. cicaNI, tA. 12-10-'71 baMgALamAMthI ahIM bhAratane vyathAnA ce MkAvanArA hevAle sarvadharmanuM je mAdhyama laI ApaNe pUrva baMgALAnA prazna para duniyAne eka karavA mAgIe chIe te bhUmikA anAyAse UbhI thaI jAya che. hamaNuAM baMgalA dezanA prazna para nAmadAra pApe paNa upavAsa gayA ravivAre karelA. base uparAMta pAdarIoe pazu upavAsa karelA. amuka rUpiyA baMgalA dezanA nirvAsitAne mATe rAhatanA pazu temaNe ApyA. Ama te rAjakIya stara para bhAratanAM vaDAMpradhAna indirAbahena aMgalAdezanA prajAnAdane sArI rIte TekA ApI ja rahyAM che ane ene pariNAme have saMyukta rASTrasaMdhanAM mUMgAM rahelAM te rASTro paNa khelatAM thayAM che, madada karatAM thayAM ja che. uparAMta prAkIya stare paNa dilhImAM zrI jayaprakAza nArAyaNunA pramukhapade ghaNA dezanA pratinidhio sArI peThe avAja uThAvI gayA che. 60 mArI icchA prajAsevakA ane saMtAnA stare ahiMsA-vikAsanI dizA vikase, te jAtanI hatI. A aMge paNu muMbaImAM eka sarvadharma saMmelana sArI peThe maLI gayuM. joke emAM prArthanA, sUtreAccAra, upavAsa Adi kAryakramo nathI amalI banyA. paraMtu maMgaLAbahena desAI dvArA te saMmelananA kAryakarone saMparka ThIka sadhAyele. Ama te saMta

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vinobAjIe sAta lAkhanI zAMtisenA ane temAM eka lAkha zAMtisainiko bhArata Ape, tevA vANurUpe te ugAra kADhayA ja che ane e dizAmAM nAnI pahela omegA nAmanI eka nAnI evI AMtararASTrIya saMsthAe paNa karI ja che, jenA keTalAka kAryakarone pAkistAne jelamAM gAMdhyAnI mAhitI chellI maLI hatI. saMta vinobAe eka lAkha bhAratIya zAMti sainike aMge bolatAM potAnuM nAma paheluM jAhera karI dIdhuM che. vRddha uMmara ane sUkSma praveza pachInI emanI pUrva baMgALa mATenI A vAta ApaNe je ahiMsA vikAsanI dizAmAM icchIe chIe te jAtanI sArI evI pahela gaNAya, ane tethI tA. 5-8-71 tathA tA. 6-8-71nA ahIMnA lagabhaga savA be mAsa uparanA kAryakramo vakhate pUrvabaMgALanA prazna aMge mArA mananuM je ghamasANa hatuM, te have lagabhaga zAMta paDI gayuM che, tema kahI zakAya. ApaNe IcchIzuM ke have mujibura rahemAnanI takALa mukti thaI jAya ane pUrvabaMgALa sAthe pAkistAnI pramukha yAhyAkhAna jaladI samAdhAna karI nAkhe che ane A lagabhaga karoDanI saMkhyAmAM AvelA nirAzrite bApaDAM taddana nizcitapaNe pharI pAchAM potAnAM vatanamAM TharIThAma thaIne besI jAya. joke tyAM jamInanuM, makAnanuM, lAkho mAnavanuM nikaMdana ane khedAnamedAna thayeluM hoI tana TharIThAma besatAM te haju ghaNe vakhata ja lAgavAne. khera, tame eTale dUra gayAM hoI tamane ahIM vAraMvAra yAda karavAmAM Ave che ane e yAdInI asara to tamane tyAM paNa thatI ja haze. pUrvabaMgALa praznamAM atyaMta sakriya to bhA. na. prA. saMdhanA pratinidhi tarIke, saMghanA upapramukha tarIke atyAre tame ja ekalAM pratIkarUpe tyAM che. tethI saune gaurava thAya che. tame kAryanI dhamAlamAM badhAne patra na lakhI zake te dekhInuM ja che. tamArI tabiyata tema jALavaje. tyAM sthAnika ane zaraNArthIo maLIne bheLAM phALo ugharAve che te jANavuM. 5. baMgALamAM durgAutsavano apAra mahimA che ja. A

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utsavamAM peAtAnuM duHkha zaraNAthI e bhUle che, te sAcuM che. ekameka mATe AmaMtraNa patrikAe kADhe che, te jANI AnaMda. cAre bAju hAMbha DAMgaranAM khetara joI AnaMda thAya che. keLa, AMbA tathA taLAva ane e ja che baMgALanI samRddhi. tamAne pAkistAnanA dhaDAkAbhaDAkAnA paNu anubhava thAya che, te jANyuM, kudarata bhAratanI to cemerathI kasoTI-kasoTI ja. karI rahI che. paraMtu sAtheAsAtha RSimunie ane saMtAnA (gAMdhI mahAtmA tathA temanA vArasadAra paM. javAharanA) A deza upara bhagavAnanI dayA paNa tevI ja che, tethI te bhArata aneka agniparIkSAmAM hemakhema pAra pahu Utare che aneka dezane mArgadarzaka-guru banI rahe che. ane 47 sa'tamAla' ra cicaNI, tA. 4-11-'71 vahAlAM unnatahRdayaH kAzIbahena, A sAthe sadgata gopabaMdhu caudharI (erisAnA gAMdhI)nAM dharmapatnI tathA ApaNA nArAyaNu desAInAM kAkAI sAsu ramAbahena codharI tathA temanAM (mIrAMbahenanAM bhajana, husAvaTa ane vAtsalyabhaktinI avejI pUratAM evAM) suputrI vaidehIbahena paranA patra hiMdImAM khIco che. ane posTamAM bIjI gheADI ahIMnA hevAla darzAvatI patrikA-pustikAo vagere paNa mekahyuM che. uparAMta bhAlanaLakAMThA prAyogika saMghanA maMtrI zrI aMtrubhAI te pazu meM lakhyuM che, eTale ene (ApaNA bhAlanaLakAMThA prayAgane) lagatuM sAhitya pazu te

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maikalaze ane tyAMnI rAhata ApatI saMsthAne kAI sahakArI pravRtti athavA sadhana kSetranI naphA karatI saMsthAe dvAra) jo eka be hajAranI madada A rAhatasaMsthA (orisA pArTI )ne mokalI zakAtI hoya, tA te jAtanI tamArI icchA paNu jaNAvI dIdhI che. . . . maNibahene tA. 12-10-'71nA rAja puSpA jAuM chuM, zeka jAuM chuM' ema sabhAnapUrvaka kheAlIne cividAya laI lIdhI, teoe AkhI jiMdagI sukhaduHkhanI samAnatApUrvaka prasannatA sAthe vitAvI ane chellI ciravidAya paNu evI ja rIte lIdhI, eka jaNunAM cAra AMbela bAkI hatAM te maNibahene potAnA havAlAmAM lIdhAM ane te cAra pUrAM karI ThAma cAvihAra karIne upAzrayathI traNu vAgye ghera AvyAM. divALInI sAphasUphImAM puSpAne madada karavA, puSpAe kahyuM: A tame ese.' sephA para beThAM ane lagabhaga cAra vAgye upalA udgArA ciravidAyanA kAThIne lAMbAM thaIne sUI gayAM. haeNmareja thaI gayuM ane spitAla laI jatAM rastAmAM ja davAkhAne paheAMcatAM pahelAM sUraja AthamavAnI sAthe pote paNa vidAya laI lIdhI ane AthamI gayAM. mIrAMbahena te bhUlatAM ja nathI ane tevuM ja lagabhaga prabhAnuM. maNibahenanuM ekAeka mRtyu Ama saune khUba ja yAdagAra rahI gyuM. paraMtu kALa AgaLa kAI upAya nathI. temanA AtmA jyAM hAya, tyAM zAMti pAme ane ApaNane saune dilasAjI maLe e ja prabhuprArthanA. tameAe tyAMnI sevAthI ApaNA bhAlanaLakAMThA prayeAgate paNu zAbhAngeA ane bhAlanaLakAMThA prA. saMgha tathA ApaNI pravRttine pazu dipAvI ane pracArI e ghaNuM ja ceAgya thayuM. madAlasAbahene zAradAbahena pAse AgrahapUrvaka lakhAvyuM che ke mArI huve pUrva baMgALa prazna mATe chAvaNIomAM vagere sthaLe khAsa jarUra che ane ApaNA kAryakarAe paNa tyAM jarUra paDaye sajja rahevAnI jarUra *saMtamAlajInA saMsArapakSe mahena, 3

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che. uparAMta muMbaInuM vAtAvaraNa paNa - ApaNuM vartuLanuM - sajaja 2khAvavAnI ane lAMbA samaya sudhI rahevAnI" jarUra che. pahelAM te kurezIbhAInI vAta pachI pU. mahArAjazrIe ahIM rahIne je kare che, te ja karavuM joIe e vicAra pasaMda karela. have Ama lakhe che. uparAMta ApaNu kalakattA pazubaliniSedhaka samitinA khajAnacI amalakhabhAI sAthe paNa Ama khAsa saMdeza mokalele. meM mArI pahelAM karatAM badalelI manaHsthiti ane have pUrva baMgALa prazna para ahiMsAvikAsanI dizAmAM comerathI kAma ThIka UpaDayuM heImana:samAdhAna che te AkhI vAta lakhI che ane eka vAra jarUra paDaye avakAze mArI rUbarU AvI vAto karI javAnI bhalAmaNa karI che. kurezIbhAIne paNa rUbarU maLI A badhI vAta karavAnuM madAlasAbahenane mATe lakhyuM che ane have temaNe ana choDayuM che, te zarU karAya te vAMdho nathI, ema mAre mata paNa jaNAvyA che. bAkI tame ahIMthI gayAM tyAre tamArI sAthenI vAtamAM meM e prazna aMgenI mArI managhamasANanI vAta tame bApa-dIkarIne karelI. pahelAM tamAre mata jhaDapI vAhanane apavAda laIne paNa tyAM javuM ghaTe, te jAtano hato paNa pachI kurezIbhAIno mata te na heI, tame badhA mArA ahIM rahevAnA vicAramAM ekamata thayelAM. mArA manamAM to A prazna aMge duniyA lagabhaga cUpa hoI lAMbA upavAsa ke AmaraNAMta upavAsanA vicAre te divasamAM ThIka ThIka AvI jatA hatA. paraMtu e have zamyA ane pagapALA vihArano jiMdagIbharane ApaNo Agraha paNa Takyo. baMnenA tALA maLI gayA. have madAlasAbahenane AkhI vAta samajAvI, kurezIbhAIe temanuM manaHsamadhAna jhaTa karAvI devuM rahyuM. prabodhabhAIna tathA te lakhanAro tathA tyAMnAM saune - - vidyApITha, veDachI-gAMdhI vidyApITha va. tathA kAryakarane e saune - khUba ja A mahattvanI gUjarAta vatInI sevA badala dhanyavAda kaheje. prabodhabhAIe lakhyuM AnaMda vyakta karajo. saMtabAla? 1 cArAnA kAryakara.

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4. vahAlAM unnatahRdayA kAzIbahena, gaI kAle eka agatyanI vAta lakhavI rahI gayelI, te e ke prabhAnuM khAsa sUcana che ke kAzIbahena muMbaI thaI te ja jAya ane tyAM temanuM gaurava thavuM joI e. kadAca prabhAe petAne hAthe tamAne je lakhyuM che, temAM A vAta hoya paNu kharI. Ama te gauravanI saMsthAgata ApaNA bhA. na. prA. saMdhane ke vyaktigata tamane zI paDI che? paraMtu e nimitte tame traNeya mAtRsamAjomAM ane bIje jyAM jAe tyAM nirAzritAnI vAte jAta-anubhavathI tameAte je maLI che te kahI zakA ane bIjAMone bhaviSye AvI sevA e keTalI pAyAnI sevA che te kharAkhara gaLe utarAvI zake ! vicArajo. gaI kAle tamArA patra sAthe ramAbahena caudharI ane temanAM suputrIne patra mekalave rahI gayele te nimitte A patra lakhyA che. saM. pa.pa 49 cicaNI, tA. 5-11-71 5 saMtamAla' khahena kAzIbahena, tamArA patrA noMdhapAthI jevA che, te parathI tyAM tame je mahattvanI sevA Ape cheA, te bhA. na. prA, saMdhane mATe paNu gaurava 8-12-1971

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nA vikAsane kArya jaIe te khAsa paraMtu ApaNe ja rUpa ja che. keTalI badhI musIbata ane jAnanA jokhame vacce tamane ramAbahena caudharI ane vaidehIbahena jevAMnuM mIThuM vAtsalya maLe che, te paNa abhuta ga ja che. ApaNe ahIM ahiMsA vikAsane kAryakrama vicAryo e aMge Ama joIe te khAsa kaMI thayuM nahi tema lAge paraMtu ApaNe je kaMI karyuM te kudaratI rIte hRdayathI karyuM tethI avyakta jagatamAM paNa enA suMdara paDaghA paDyA. 1. saMta vinobAjIne sUkSma praveza pachI paNa pUrva baMgAla aMge addabhuta nivedana samayasara (joke sauthI pahele TharAva 28, 29, 30 mArcamAM ApaNo ja thayelo. paNa ApaNe TharAva te najIkanA hAI sahaja gaNAya. vizeSatA te bahAranA jagatamAM paDelA paDavAnI che, te daSTie) bahAra pADavAnuM thayuM. tenI asara taLe nAsika saMmelana sarvodayI kAryakaronuM maLyuM ane ApaNuM vadhumAM vadhu najIka badhI rIte te AMdolananAM bhAIbahene AvI javA lAgyAM. 2. mAnavamuni (janakamuni nimitte bhale paNa e ja saMdarbhamAM ahIM AvyA, gUMdImAM paNa jaI AvyA. pharIthI madAlasAbahena nimitte ahIM AvyA. madAlasAbahena paNa nahatAM AvavAnAM chatAM te nimite AvyAM ane A vAta mAtra rAjya kakSAnI na rahetAM janatA janasevA ane saMtasaMkalananI sAthe joDAI gaI 3. zrI jayaprakAzajI vagere vizvapravAsa karI AvyA. ane chevaTe dilhImAM pUrva baMgAla prazna aMge duniyAnA zAMti cAhakonI pariSada paNa maLI gaI 4. sarvadharma pariSada paNa maLI ane tAjetaramAM vedAMta pariSada paNa A prazna aMge maLI gaI 5. videzanI oNparezana megA saMsthAnA sabhyoe sevA paNa ApI ane balidAnane ahiMsaka mArga paNa ughADayo.

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6. janatA kakSAe zramajIvI majuranAM saMgaThanee TharAva (pUrva baMgAla prazno paNa karyA. 7. saMta vinebAnI mulAkAtamAM sAta lAkhanI zAntisenAvALI vAta guMjatI thaI ane temAM sUkSma praveza pachI paNa paheluM nAma saMta vinobA ApavA tatpara thayA. 8. bAkI rahetA jainamuniomAM paNa pUrva baMgAla prazna para pU. kavi mahArAje AgrAthI eka suMdara lekha lakhe. 9. ApaNe te prathamathI upavAsa, sUtroccAra ane prArthanAno kAryakrama mUkelo. paNa nAmadAra pipe jAte paNa upavAsa karyo ane temanA bIjA, nIcenA dharmaguruoe paNa upavAsa karyo ane te ja rIte AkhAye khristI jagatamAM upavAsa (covIsa kalAkanA) thayA. A badhuM thavAthI ja mAre khudane pUrva baMgAlamAM javAnI jarUra na rahI. tevuM samAdhAna ApaNAM madAlasAbahenane paNa thaI gayuM. have to pUrva baMgAlane baMgalA dezanI mAnyatA bhArate ApI. bhUtAne tenuM anukaraNa karyuM ane comera enuM anukaraNa thaze. hA, amerikA-briTana ughADAM paDI gayAM. lekazAhI tyAM pAyAnI na hatI. temAMya amerikA to sAva ughADuM paDI gayuM. raziyAe maitrI yathArtha jALavI. rAjakIya rIte IdirAbahenane vijaya maLyo. ane atyAre bhArata-pAkistAnanuM yuddha cAlI rahyuM che temAM pUrva baMgAla te have svataMtra thavAnI aNI para ja gaNAya. ane have yuddha paNa bhAratane UMce hAtha UMco rahI, aTakI javAnI taiyArImAM jaNAya che. chatAM thaDI agniparIkSA to pAkistAna, cIna ane amerikA maLIne haja paNa karaze. paraMtu pAra lagabhaga UtarI gaye, A bhArata deza tema kahI zakAya. saMtabAla? 67

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50 vahAlA AtmabaMdhu cheTubhAI tathA vahAlAM bahena kAzIbahena, gaI kAle ahIM surAbhAI AvI gayA. yuvarAjazrIne* gopAlakA taraphathI sanmAna gepAlaka seAsAyaTInA makAnamAM thayuM heta te vadhu ThIka hatuM. kAraNa ke haju sevA kare, tyAre jarUra kadara thAya. atyAra lagI kArakirdI na gaNAya. uparAMta paNa have te cUMTAnAranI nahi paNa cUMTanAranI kadara karavI e pramuAlI pADavAnI jarUra che ane bhA. na. prA. saMdhra ane tenA hAtha taLenAM saMgaThanA te navA cIlA pADe te ja aMdhabhesatuM gaNuAya, 'saMtamAla' 51 cicaNI, tA. 23-3-'72 }e tA. 7-11-'72 vahAlAM bahena, hA, tame bAgI-kSetramAM dasapaMdara divasa rahevAnAM che te jANI AnaMda, joke tyAMnA mukhya kAryakara zrI subbArAvajIe pahelAM mAnavamuni pAse ane pachI mArI pAse ApaNA pAyAnA be cAra kAryakaro mAgyA hatA. meM mubhAI ne khyAla ApelA, paraMtu tevA kAryakarA phAjala nathI. paNa A rIte tame tyAM gayAM te ghaNuM ja sAruM thayuM. * cUMTAyelA dhArAsabhya

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kAraNa ke mane A kAma khAsa karIne bAgI kuTuMbane samAjamAM gauravapUrvaka jIvavAnuM maLe, e ghaNuM mahAna ane agatyanuM ja kAma lAgyuM che ane tethI huM sAdhu-sAdhvI-saMnyAsIonuM paNuM A kAma mAnuM chuM. paNa tame e dizAmAM ghaNuM karI zakaze. eTale je vadhu rokAvAnI tamane jarUra lAge to pUrva baMgAla vakhate . na. prA. saMdha ane kurezIbhAInI rajA laI lIdhI (patrothI) hatI, tema karI zakaze. tyAMthI baMgAlanI jema vigatavAra lakhyA ja karajo ane tenI tamane sArI phAvaTa AvI paNa gaI che. je A mahattvanA kAryamAM saphaLatA maLaze te A dezamAM bAgIjIvana e jema Aje rAjavIyuga bhUtakALanI vastu banI gaI che, tema A kArya karanArI gunAhita pravRtti paNa bhUtakALanI ja vastu banI jaze. ahIM sau majAmAM che. tamAruM zubha Icchato. siMtabAla cicaNI, tA. 9-1-'73 saMdha upapramukha kAzIbahena ane pAyAnA bujharga kAryakartA zrI choTubhAI, huM Aje evI rIte lakhavA beTho chuM ke lakhavuM che DuMka ane lakhAI jaze kadAca vadhu. joke Ameya mArI AvI Adata lagabhaga so jANe che. paNa jyAre bhAlanA kAMThA prAyogika saMghanuM baMdhAraNa ghaDAyuM, tyArathI ja nahIM te pahelAMthI paNa vizva ja sAme hatuM. raNapurane samauna ekAMtavAsa pachInA nivedanathI e vadhu spaSTa hatuM

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ane pachI teA svarAjaya pahelAM 'vizvavAtsalya' bahAra paDayuM, eTale bhAlanaLakAMThA prAyeAgika sAMdhanA baMdhAraNamAM samagra vizva ane tenAM prANImAtra (mAtra mAnavajAta ja nahIM)nuM lakSya ane dharmamaya samAjaracanA ane enA pAyAmAM gAmaDuM ane kheDUta che. vizvavAsaNya prAyogika saMdhanuM baMdhAraNu ethI ja kAnikatAnA atireka jevuM ke gADiyuM lAge che. paNa keTalIka vAte tarata nathI samajAtI. juone, kalakattA vi. vA. prA. saMdhazAkhA banyA pachI have naimimunie AgrA zaheramAM paNu vi. vA. prA. saMdha banAvyeA che. jo Ama AMtaraprAMtIya zaherAmAM vi. vA. prA. saMghanI zAkhAe banavA lAgaze, teA pachI vizvanA judA judA dezamAM paNa zAkhAe banatAM vAra nahIM lAge. eka bAjuthI ApaNI AvI vizvathI paNa vizALa vAta che ane bIjI bAju ApaNAM sAdhana TUMkAM che ane eka dRSTie TUMkAMmAMthI paNu TUMkAM thatAM jAya che. teA khIjI bAju vizALa pazu thatAM ja jAya che. alabatta te badhI avyakta ane vyakta jagatanA tAlavALI ghaTanAone ApaNe e arthamAM kadAca joI zakatA nathI. tethI duHkha lAgI Ave che. paraMtu eka ja ghaTanAne jayAre bIjAM enAM aneka pAsAMthI joI e, tyAre e du:khamAMthI paNa sukha joIne lUMTI zakAya che. ...ATale lAMbe ullekha karIne huM kahevA e mAguM chuM ke bhAlanaLakAMThA prayAga dvArA mArI ja nahi, saMdhanI, be maMDaLAnI ane pAyAnA keMgresInI paNu Aje agniparIkSA cAle che. . .ane hAthArUpa jema. . .bahena banyAM, tema. . .bhAI ne paNa banavAnI paristhiti UbhI thAya ane emAM paNu ApaNAmAMnAM phrAI nimitta kAraNu banAvI devAya te kazuM Azcarya nathI. ApaNane lAge (1) sadAcAra pracAra mATe Ama kare che. (2) rAhata mATe ke lekasaMparka mATe lANA Ama kare che. paraMtu e badhI ja saMkaLAyelI jALa heAya che. AthI ja IMdirAbahenane jo nikasana ke cAu-ena-lAI athavA bhuTTo jALamAM laI parezAna karavA mAgatA hoya te enA hAthA banavA saMsthA keMgresanA 70

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dhuraMdhara netAo paNa taiyAra sIdhI ke ADakatarA thaI javA A to IMdirAbahena khUba sAvadhAna bAI che. ATApATAnA ramanArA sAme ATApATA 2mI jANe che. eTale pite Ugare che. zAsaka koMgresane ugAre che. dezane ane sAmAnya AmajanatAne cetavI laI ugArI de che. bAkI amerikAnuM jAsUsIkhAtuM, janasaMgha, svataMtra pakSa ane chevaTe saMyukta samAjavAdI ke saMsthA koMgresa paNa jAye-ajAye cAritrya upara paNa AkSepa karatAM acakAya nahi tevI paristhiti che. A badhAM gaMdA ane saMyukta rAjakAraNamAM sIdhAM ke ADakatarAM phasAyelAM moTAM mANase zaikSaNika ke khAdI grAmodyoga vagere kAmamAM agra hade AvI gayAM hoya che. huM ethI ja chellAM varSothI rAjakIya hoddedArane zaikSaNikakhAdI vagere maMDaLomAMnA hoddA para rahevA devAnI viruddhamAM houM chuM. khera, ATalA IzArAthI ApaNe avizvAsa nathI banavAnuM, paNa sauthI sAvadhAna rahevAnuM che, eTaluM ja sUcavavA IcchuM chuM. hamaNAM muMbaIthI daDiyAbApA AvelA tyAre temaNe be pravacano potAnA putra dvArA Tepa karAvyAM che. temAM traNa bAbate tarapha meM dhyAna doryuM che : (1) mUDIvAda, (2) komavAda ane (3) azuddha sAdhanavAda (saramukhatyArI. mArI IcchA hatI ane che, paNa mUDI (phaMDa) ApanArAM je mULa tattava para prahAra karatAM thAya te tenI sAme mArI jAtane chevaTe dharavI ja paDe. kAraNa ke kArya vistare. tema phALo vadhAravo paDe. ane jevo phALe karavA jAya tyAre jemanuM mAthuM dukhatuM hoya te peTa phUTavA maMDI paDe ane ApaNAmAMnAM bhoLAM janane phALo ApavAne nimitte hAthA banAvI de. tyAM tamAre saue khUba ja sAvadhAna rahevuM paDe. Ave vakhate mArA paranI zraddhA paNa keTalAMnI ane kayAM lagI Takaze e muddo AvIne Ubho rahI javAno. e to ApaNAM saddabhAgya che ke prayogano pAyo nakkara che, eTale aneka musIbato vacce ApaNe TakI rahyAM chIe, tema TakI zakIzuM. paraMtu khUba sAvadhAnI mAMhomAMhe paNa rAkhavI paDaze. je

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mUDIvAdanuM tevuM ja komavAdanuM che. kurezabhAI bApupremI ane keTalA sAvadhAna che ! chatAM bApunA gujarAtamAM paNa traNa varSa pahelAM kevI agniparIkSA AvelI ! eTale have kadAca islAmI jagatanI havenA bhAratane vadhu jarUra paDavAnI ane je musIbata rAjakIya stara upara Aje che, pAkistAna nimitte te musIbata have sAmAjika stara upara AvavAnI. rASTrIya muslimomAM paNa be phAMTA A dezamAM paDavA saMbhava che. te vakhate ApaNuM bhAla naLakAMThA prayoganI kharekharI agniparIkSA thaI javAnI. evuM ja azuddha sAdhanavAnuM che. A bAbatamAM ApaNe zAsaka koMgresa sAme paNa laDavuM paDavAnuM ja. tyAM mane khAtarI che ke ApaNuM jhINAbhAI tathA ratubhAI adANa sAthenA mIThA ane gADha saMbadhe ADA nahi Ave. eka bAja ApaNe e jUthane Teko ApatAM ja rahevAnuM che ane bIjI bAju Arthika sAmAjika kSetre (be ke, paMcAyatomAM) laDatA paNa rahevAnuM che. tema ja grAma koMgresanI vAta paNa jIvaMta rAkhavAnI che. jyArathI AvaDI adhivezanathI koMgrese dine dine sattA dvArA ja samAjaparivartana karavAnuM svIkAryuM tyArathI jANye-ajANye temanAmAM saramukhatyArI ane azuddha sAdhanavAda ghUsavA maMDI gayuM che. Aje paNa meM bhAvanagarathI nIkaLatA sAptAhika 'samarthanamAM "gAMdhI vikendrIkaraNa: AjanuM bhArata" nAmano zrI jayaprakAza nArAyaNano traNeka varSa pahelAMno lekha vAMce. emAM emaNe ApaNI A ja vAta pitAnI Dhabe lakhI che. ApaNe mAtra lakhatA nathI, prayoga paNa karIne sarvAgINuM samAjaracanA paNa karIe chIe. A kAraNe vizvanI siddhAMtalakSI saMsthAomAM mAtra koMgresane vaLagI rahyA chIe. have emAM be vibhAga paDyA eTale zAsaka koMgresa kAvavA chatAM emAMnI azuddha sAdhanavAdanI ane saramukhatyArI vRtti sAme paNa jhajhUmavuM ApaNe ekale hAthe ja paDaze.

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bAkI A zAsaka koMgresamAM paNa mUDIvAda ke komavAdI ta ghUsyAM haze, e sAme jhajhUmavuM, vaheluM vaheluM jhajhUmavuM paDaze. AthI ApaNane jhINAbhAI darajI ane ratubhAI adANInuM jUtha vadhu pasaMda paDe che. paraMtu te juthabALa sAme upalI dASTae jhajhumavuM to paDaze ja. eTalA mATe Apa saune A patra vistRta rIte lakhI rahyo chuM. "saMtabAla cicaNuM, tA. 26-7-73 vahAlA AtmabaMdhu choTubhAI tathA vahAlAM kAzIbahena, tA. 23-7-73ne lakhelo vigatavAra nAraNabhAI maganabhAIne patra maLyo che. teo tathA kezubhAI zeTha banne jaNa tyAM AvI gayA, te pachI A patra lakhyo che. temAM "choTubhAI ane kAzIbahena mahinAmAM kamamAM kama aThavADiyuM te ziyALane Ape ja Ape" evo Agraha che. ane pharI pAchA "cheTubhAI tathA kAzIbahena ke jemaNe kadAca bhagavAna khuda AvIne na karI zake tevI gAmanI ane aDakhepaDakhe pradezanAM gAmaDAMnI sevA karI che. eTale amArI gaphalatanI kSamA ApIne paNa A5 ATaluM to karo. ame te IcchIe chIe ke bane pitA-putrInI chellI jiMdagI ziyALamAM ja gALavAnuM Apa te bane - pitA-putrIne pharamAvo. gAmanAM ane AsapAsanAM sau AvuM Icche che." A jAtanuM hRdayasparzI lakhANu pAMca pAnAM bharI jhINu akSare lakhyuM che. kurezabhAInA mana para to evI chApa che ke "A badhuM (9

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have DahApaNa Ave che te pahelAM kema kazuM na belyA ? paNa ThIka che. have bIjuM zuM thAya? "AvatAM-jatAM to pitA-putrI ziyALAmAM rahe ja che." tamene je lAge te pitA-putrI ane nisaMkecapaNe lakhajo. bIju phUlajIbhAInuM aMtardezIya hatuM, jemAM rAtre tame (choTubhAI) ane temanI vacce vAta thaI ane temAM teo tamArA matane maLatA che, va. lakhANuM paNa hatuM... saMtabAla' cicaNuM, tA. 1-1-'74 bahena kAzIbahena, eka vAra phaMDaphALAmAM jo kAryakarone vadhu rasa letA karyA te pAyAnuM ane UMDANunuM lekasaMparkanuM kAma kherabhe paDavAnI bhItino ApaNane jAtaanubhava che. RSi bAlamaMdira mULe bhegI kuTuMbonI punarracanA mATe ja mukhyatve jarUrI che. bAkI to bIjI rIte bAlamaMdire calAvavAmAM te ghaNuM mANase che. kasabAo ke zaheramAM e mATe ApaNuM zakti zA mATe vadhu paDatI kharcavI ? karakasara, sAdAmAM sAduM tyAgI ane bhaktimaya jIvana e ja ApaNA krAtikAraka prayogamAMnA pAyAnA kAryakaronI mUDI che. saMtabAla? 94

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tarata amAre tenI nIti mATe papa tA. 7-3-74 vahAlAM kAzIbahena, .... vicAraze, te tamArA ja lakhANano virodhAbhAsa tamane tarata samajAI jaze. eka bAju "kAInI zarama rAkhyA vagara kahe spaSTa "nagada satya' tenI tArIpha karavI che ane bIjI bAju bIjAne na gamatuM kendranAM mAtAjI rUpe kahe che te mATe lAgI Ave che. mArA namra mate te teone lIdhe ja ApaNe badhAM niyamita ane kAMIka vyavasthita tathA samabhAvI rahI zakIe chIe. nahi te "A ApaNA najIkanAM che te jarA ene Ama ApIe, Ama besADIe, jaladI besADIe, judA besADIe tema thavAnuM ja. e ajANatAM paNa mAnavamAM paDelI Teva hoya che. sUjhayo ke koIne kahevAthI saheje saheje dhyAnamAM AvyuM, mATe IzArA rUpe lakhuM chuM. A ApaNAM mIrAMbahena nahi calAvI zake. thoDI vAra sekenI bhale gerasamaja thAya te paNa moTe bhAge te ApaNe emanAM najIkanAM ja emane kharI rIte oLakhI zakyAM nathI, eTale TIkATakaramAM paDI jaIe chIe ane pachI vAtanuM vatesara thaI jAya che. e to sAruM thayuM ke "A vakhate deDha mAsa pahelethI ciMtA karI pUrI taiyArI mIrAMbahene karI rAkhI, to patI gayuM." pitAnAM hoya, tyAM A chUTuM mUkI paNa zake che. te paNa A vakhate jovAyuM. emane mana saMsthAnuM ke sAmudAyikanuM paNa bagaDavuM jarAya nA joIe te vAta mukhya hoya che. jyAM jarUra hoya tyAM tAra karavAnuM 95

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paNa te ja kahe che ane jyAM kArDathI saratuM hoya tyAM kavara zA mATe ? ema paNa tee kahe che. alabatta meTA samUhamAM AvuM kAMIka jatuM karavuM paDe che ane ATalA anubhave have tee jatuM paNu kare che ja. paraMtu ApaNe khAsa te bhAlanaLakAMThAvALAMee haju mIrAMbahenane oLakhavAmAM kacAza rAkhI che, ema jaNAya che. alabatta prema saunA bhArAbhAra che paNu emanI TakArane haiye haju dhAravAmAM kacAza rahI jAya che.' huM dhIraja rAkhI beTho chuM ane jarUra tema thaze ja. mIrAMbahene paNu bhAlanaLakAMThAvALA ApaNe| pAyA che, tema samajavAmAM theADIka udAratA rAkhavI paDaze. paNa te thaze ene mane vizvAsa che. paNu mAre mana mIrAMbahena karatAM pazu bhAlanaLakAMThAvALA vadhu lADakA che, eTale mIrAMbahenane bhAlanaLakAMThAvALAomAM mArI Asakti jaNAya che. A kAraNe mArA paranI TaMkAra bhale mIDI rIte ane ApaNAM bhAlanaLakAMThAvALAM pazu e TakArane UMDI mIThAzathI sahI le che. paraMtu mArI icchA, e TakAra mAtra mIThAzathI sahI le, eTale pUrI saMtAvAtI nathI ! mArI icchA te pUrI te ja saMteSAya ke jo mIThI TakAra potAnA UMDA haiyAmAM dharAya ane e pramANe vartavAmAM Ave! A paNa thaze ja. paNa atyAre evuM nathI. jema niyamitatAmAM bhAlanaLakAMThAvALAM badhAMne! sikko paDe, pazu haju vyavasthA aMge kAMIka kacAza rahe che. joke mArAmAM pazu e khAmI tA che ja. dA. ta. eka vastu jyAMthI lIdhI, tyAM kAma paDye tarata mukAya. pathArInuM kAma pUruM thayuM ke tarata tene vIMTI eka bAju mukAya ja. rAtribhojanatyAga aMge khIjuM te! ThIka paNu kAMIka paNa Aja karatAM vadhu maryAdA rahe te sAruM. A te sahaja khyAlamAM rahe teTalA pUratI vAta che. jema niyamitatAnI bAbatamAM, lIdheluM kAma vyavasthita pUruM karavAmAM vagere bAbatemAM bhAlanA kAMThAvALA ApaNI ghaNI cAkasAI paraMtu nAnI nAnI vAtamAM jAte bane tyAM lagI potAnuM kAma pUrI cokasAIthI karavuM. vAsaNA 76

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bane tyAM lagI ajavALavA jAte prayatna karavo. rikSAthI pate te TesIne ke basathI pate te moTarano upayoga TALavo joke Aje bhAla naLakAMThAvALAo upara mAre lIdhe duniyAbharane be paData hoya che. vaLI Arthika ciMtA paNa saMsthAonI puSkaLa karavI paDatI hoya che. huM te ahIM beThe keTalIka vAra kalpanAthI UDayA karuM, joke dUragAmI vicArone sAthe rAkhIne UDayA karuM, paNa teone saune to keTalAM badhAM saMkaTa ane lAlaco vacce siddhAntaniSThA jALavavI paDatI hoya che! A badhuM huM samajuM chuM tethI te temanAM gANuM gAuM chuM, paNa mIrAMbahenane A badhI ja gaDa haju pUrI kyAM beThI che ? vyaktigata sAdhanA ane sAmudAyika sAdhanAnI samatulA sAcavavAnuM kAma AjanA gujarAtanA, dezanA ane duniyAnA saMgamAM ghaNuM kaparuM che. te moTe bhAge AmAMnAM cunaMdA mANasane ja jALavavuM paDe che. A joI huM keTalIye vAra aMjali Apate heuM chuM. jeone tAjo vidyAthI. zikSakone prasaMga. badhAM eka bAju jaI bese tyAre saMkhyAbaMdha tejasvI mANasa ane mahAsevako vacce judA vicAro mUkavA paDe, tyAM keTalI badhI mUMjhavaNa thatI? paNa teo niSThApUrvaka tyAga ane tapanI khevanA rAkhIne A kAma jArI rAkhI rahyA che. joke have aruNodaya thato dekhAya che khare, paNa haja De aMdhAra veThavo paDe tevA paNa saMyoga che ja. khera, A te nAma bhale vyaktigata AvyAM paNa mArA namra mate vyaktigata sAdhanA ane samAjagata sAdhanA vacane A mIThe saMgharSa che. jema te vyaktinA jIvanamAM Ave che tema vartuLanA jIvanamAM paNa Ave che. eTale jema satata ekalahAthe jhajhUmanAra mIrAMbahena ane maNibhAI pratye sanmAna thAya che, tema aneka citravicitra saMgo vacce kurezIbhAI vagere mATe paNa sanmAna savizeSe paNa thAya che. saunI pAchI AgavI vizeSatAo che ane tethI ja AnaMda thAya che... jevAnI bhakti ane aneka viTaMbaNAo vaccenI sthiratA adbhuta gaNI zakAya, tevI hoya che. 17

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Ama je gaNavA besIe to tamArA pitAputrIne tyAga kevaDe moTo ane samagra jidagIne! temAMya tame te kaSTa veThavAmAM kazI kamI rAkhI ja kyAM che ? ema A badhAMne saravALe maLIne to ApaNuM kAma dIpe che ! 2: gujarAta aMge meM ane saMdhe prasaMgopAta karavA jevuM badhuM ja karyuM che. bahena, vidyArthI-zikSako rAjInAmAM mArga ane jabarAIthI mAge ane te dharI devAM, emAM ghaNI muzkelIo che. vaLI AjanI havA khoTI che, ema paNa na kahI zakAya. mAtra dizA sAcI ApavI paDe tema che. tamane A khyAlamAM che ja. vi. vA. mAM A aMge judI judI rIte badhuM AvyuM ja che. ApaNI sAme eka cokkasa ane vidhalakSI - citra che, eTale mAtra ekAeka kUdI paDavAnuM ApaNe mATe zakya nathI. jo tame te barAbara ja jANe che, chatAM bIjAMo karatAM ApaNI javAbadArI moTI che ane te ApaNe pUrI karIe ja chIe. maNibhAI mATe tame je lakhyuM che tethI paNa vizeSa teo che, paNa mIrAMbahena ane maNibhAI bane maLIne ja mAre mana pUrNagIpaNuM thaI zake. maNibhAI DhIlA paDe ke na bele, tyAM mIrAMbahena pUrti kare ane mIrAMbahenanI TakoranI mAdhuryabharI mUMgI saujanyavRtti dAkhavI maNibhAI pUrti kare. AvuM e bhAIbahenanuM che... saMtabAla 78

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56 vahAlAM u. ha. kAzIbahena, dharmapatnInuM ekAeka hariprasAde je dhairya AMkhe ane kAyA tamAruM tA. 11-4-74nuM kavara vigatavAra maLyuM. tameAe je rIte ApaNA bhAIzrI AcArye hariprasAdanAM ATalI nAnI uMmaramAM javuM ane chatAM bhAI ane sahanazIlatAthI A prabaLa dhA' jhIlI temanI DokTarI vijJAnanI zeAdha mATe samarpita karI te badhuM vigatavAra vAMcI tarata prabhAvita thaI manubhAI kheAlI UThayA : kharekhara, Ane niceADa vi. vA. mAM ApavA jevA che. jethI anekane mArgadarzaka preraNA maLe tevuM che.' cicaNI, tA. 15-4-'74 che paNa tevuM ja. Aje te badala bhAI hariprasAdane UMDI dilasAjI sAthe dhanyavAda lakhI rahyo chuM. miNubhAI e paNu hariprasAdane vigate lakhyuM ja che. sAruM thayuM tamene gUMdI javA pahelAM ja khabara maLyA ane tameA badhAM tyAM samayasara paheAMcI gayAM. jethI hariprasAdane tathA temanAM mA vagerene UMDA dilAsA maLyA. mAjIse keTaluM jIvanamAM pacAvyuM che tenI kaseTI Ave kapare samaye ja thatI hoya che. tamA najIka hAI thADA vakhata vAraMvAra dilAsA patra dvArA ane kAI vAra rUbarU jaIne paNu ApI AvatAM rahejo. emanA bhAI kAntibhAI e bIDI vagere cheDayAM, te dhaNA tyAga kahevAya. sadgatamAM bhaktibhAvanA va. sAruM hatuM, eTale emaNe te! ATalI uMmaramAM kharAkhara suvAsa lai ne *vizvavAtsahya pAkSikanA vyavasthApaka. 79 --

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prayANa karyuM. kahevAya. je nArI peAtAnA patinI sevA pAmI tenA pahelAM sad-bhAginI kahevAya che. joke bhAI AdhAta jIravavAmAM ThIka ThIka samaya jaze. khera, tUTInI byUTI nathI. temanA AtmA jyAM hai| tyAM zAMti pAmeA ! 'saMtamAla' ciravidAya le che te dhaNI ja hariprasAdane ane bALakAne A pUrNa cicaNI, tA. 2-5-'74 vahAlAM . ha. kAzIbahena, --- ApaNe sau sAthe A jAtanA gADha saMbaMdhe vadhArIe te te jarUrI che ja. paraMtu e leAkeA pratyakSa sevA peAtAnA vistAramAM ApavA mATe ~ lAMkhA gALA lagInI - ApaNI AzA paNa rAkhatA thAya, te ApaNA mATe tathA temanA mATe yAgya na gaNAya. eTale evI AzA rAkhatAM A badhAM saMbaMdhIe na thAya, teTalI ApaNI vANImAM namra paNa spaSTa cekhavA haMmezAM karatAM rahevuM joI e. jaina dharma . peAte vizvadharma ane udAra che, paraMtu jaina sAdhu-sAdhvIenI AdatA peAtAnA sAMkaDA vADAmAM pUravA mATenI ja prAyaH paDI gaI hAya che. eTale ApaNe tenI tevI sAMkaDI manevRtti cheDAvavA paNu gADha saMbaMdheA bAMdhatI ane rAkhatI vakhate prayatna karavAnA raheze ja. tame| A badhuM jANeA che, eTale vAMdhe nathI. have te thADA vakhatamAM ja rUbarU maLavAnuM thaze, kharuM ne? saMtamAla' 80

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tA. 17-5-74 vahAlAM unnatahRdayA kAzIbahena, (bhA. na. prA. saMghanA upapramukha) ahIM AvatI TapAla have AjathI cAlu thaI che. tethI tA. 23-5-74 pahelAM tamane A saMdezo maLe te rIte, ApaNI ahIM tA. 10-2-74nA thayela vAtacIta mujaba mokalI ApuM chuM: Ama te saMvata 1995nA piSa suda pUnamathI naLakAMThAmAM lekapAla paTela (mAcha taLapadA koLI paTeliyA) kemanI sAmAjika sudhArAnI pravRttio cAlI. tyArathI ja eka rIte bhAlanaLakAMThAnI pravRtti zarU thaI gaNAya. tyAra bAda grAmakendrita kheDUtonAM maMDaLonI bhAla naLakAMThA prA. saMdha prerita pravRtti saMvata 2004nI zarUAtathI zarU thaI. jethI bhAla naLakAMThA prayoganI zarUAta ApaNe gAMdhI prayoganA ane jaina prayogonA samanvita pAyA upara svarAjyodaya kALathI zarU thayelI mAnIne cAlIe chIe. huM na bhUlate houM te sadbhAgye A samaye gAMdhIjI hayAta hatA. mahAtmA gAMdhIjI ja A yuge samAjagata sAdhanA para jheka ApanAra prathama puruSa tarIke yugapradhAnatA pAmyA. jainadharma maLe vyaktigata sAdhanA ane samAjagata sAdhanAnI samatulA para prathamathI jheka Apo Avyo che. ema chatAM jainadharmanA cAreya phirakAomAM paNa chellA kALe vyaktigata sAdhanA para savizeSa jhoka ApavAne kAraNe samAjagata sAdhanA sAthenI samatulAvALI vAta DhIlI paDI gaI hatI. gAMdhI rASTravyAsapITha para AvyA pachI ane vidhalakSI rAjakIya saM.5.-6

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saMsthAnuM gAMdhIjIne mAdhyama maLI gayA pachI jainadharmanI ahiMsAne eka bAju UMDANunI preraNA maLI gaI tema bIjI bAju vyApakatAnI paNa preraNuM maLI gaI. AthI ja huM bhAla naLakAMThA prayogane vidhalakSI praga mAnIne cAluM chuM. ane gujarAta, muMbaI, mahArASTra uparAMta ApaNuM be bIjA krAntipriya munione kAraNe hariyANA ane yu. pI.mAM jema A bhAla naLakAMTho prayoga anvaye pravRttio cAle che, tema mAnavamunine mAdhyame je rIte jhapATAbaMdha ane dine dine pragADha paricaya jaina jainetara sAdhu-sAdhvI, saMnyAsIono vadhatuM jAya che. have vizvavAtsalya prAyogika saMgha je bhAla naLakAMThA prAyogika saMghanI pUrtimAM thaIne bhAratIya nagaro ane AMtararASTrIya jagatamAM pravRtti calAvanAra saMsthA che, te dvArA saMcAlita mahAvIranagara-AMtararASTrIya kendra mAraphata videzamAM pitAnI zAkhAo udhADavA tatpara thayela che tyAre mULabhUta vistAranuM mUlya ghaNuM badhuM vadhI jAya che. bahena, tame (kAzIbahena jevAM) AjIvana kaumArya avasthA gALI bhAla naLakAMThA pragamAM varSothI daTAI gayAM che. sANaMda, ziyALa ane have gUMdI mukhyatve rahI davAkhAnAMone mAdhyame dharmapunita evI badhI ja pravRttiomAM sevA ApI rahyAM che. jarUra paDaze samagra gujarAtanI jema baMgAla, orisA jevAM sthaLoe paNa sevA ApI ja che. tema A vakhate tamArA aMtaHkaraNamAM A mULabhUta vistArane netrayajJanI mahAmUlI sevA ApavAne suMdara vicAra Avyo ane e have tA.23-5-74 thI mUrtimaMta banI rahyo che, e jANI tamene tathA bhAla naLakAMThA vistAramAMnA A netrayajJamAM oNkTarothI mAMDIne nAnI moTI sevA ApavA tatpara saune ane tyAMnA AjIvana hemAyelA kAryakare vagerene kharekhara dhanyavAda ghaTe che. priya choTubhAI maryAdita mauna avasthAmAM (divALI laga) hevAthI, hAjara nathI, te UNapane temanI zubhecchAo jarUra pUrI devAnI. A bhAlanI dhULa-DamarIone kAraNe tyAM AvI sevAnI vAraMvAra A pahelAM 82.

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paNa jarUriyAta UbhI thatI. tameAe vyaktigata rIte judA judA prakAre AvI vaidyakIya sevA ApyAM ja karI che. temAM Ave vyApaka netrayajJa seAnAmAM sugaMdhanI pUrti karaze, ema mAnuM chuM. A varasa TheTha poSa pUrNimAthI mAMDIne AkhuMya varSe ApaNA bhAlanaLakAMThA prAyeAgika saMdhe vividha rIte rajata jayaMtI varSa tarIke UjavavAnuM zarU karI dIdhuM che, tyAre te anvaye A kAryakrama anAyAse ubhaya pakSe zAbhAmAM umero karanAra nIvaDaze. eTale ke eka bAju vizvavatsala auSadhAlaya ziyALa-gUMdInI zelAmAM umerA karaze ane bIjI bAju bhAlanaLakAMThA prAyegika saMdha prerita dareka saMsthAnA rajata jayaMtI mahAtsavanI zAlAmAM pazu umerA karaze. tethI dharmamaya samAjaracanAnA anusaMdhAnamAM huM A kAryakramanI pharI karIne pUrNa saphaLatA icchuM chuM. mane pUrI AzA che ke nisamaiyAnI kRpAthI emAM tame saune paNa sevA sAthene ane sAthenA AnaMda sudhdhAM sAMpaDaze ja. sArvatrika ghaDatara 59 saMtamAla' 83 cicaNI, tA. 23-5-'74 vahAlAM u.he. bahenazrI kAzIbahena, lIlAbAI sAdhvI tathA muktAbAI sAdhvIne mArA vatI eTaluM yAda Apajo ke "...Aje dIkSA jhaTajhaTa daI devAnI pravRttithI saravALe phAyado nahi thAya, eTale hamaNAM je che, thayAM che teTalethI

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saMteSa vALo ThIka raheze. zrI uttarAdhyayana sUtramAM sahAdhya pacca khANuvALa u. 29mA adhyayanavALa bola pharI pharI vicAro jarUrI jaNAya che. A te tame ane ame have vadhu najIka AvyAM chIe, to ATalI hArdika sUcanA karavAnuM anAyAse mana thayuM, mATe lakhyuM che. tamArI je AtmazraddhA che te jotAM tamane mArI A hArdika sUcanA gamaze ja, ema mAnuM chuM..." saMtabAla ciMcaNa, tA. 11-7-75 vahAlAM unnatahRdayA kAzIbahena, choTubhAI have moTebhAge tyAM ja rahevAnA ane utkaMThezvaranI eraDI khAlI karaze, je jANI mane vadhu saMtoSa thaye. have kaLatare evuM rUpa lIdhuM che ke emanI najIkamAM yogya sevAbhAvI vyakti joIe ja. uMmara vadhe, tema aMge DhIlAM paDatAM javAM svAbhAvika che. ApaNA kurezabhAIne paNa sAITikA tathA methI bolAtI vANImAM ocho pheraphAra have vadhatI uMmaranAM eMdhANa ApI jAya che ! ane harajIvanabhAI tyAM pavanAramAM saMta sevaka samudyama pariSadanI miTiMgane nimitte saMta vinobAnuM bhaktisabhara madhura sAMnidhya tathA vardhAsevAgrAma - nAgapura (aMbubhAI ekalA gayelA te) tathA pavanAranAM aneka sArAM sArAM sAMbhaLavA jevAM saMbhAraNuo laI AvelA. tamArI ane priya choTubhAInI vAta sAcI ja che ke "sAcuM e mAruM, mAruM e ja sAcuM nahIM'. ema ja rahevAthI vyakti ane 84

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saMsthAnI tathA sAthInI zAbhA vadhe che. Akhare eka ja DALanAM paMkhI' e sAcuM che. tamAruM tA. 6-7-7panuM aMtardezIya / adbhuta gaNuAya tevuM che. paraMtu indirAbahene paNa haju AgaLa javAnuM che ane te banne kaeNoNMgresa vibhAgA eka thAya, tA jaladI banI zake, priya meArArajIbhAI jaladI chUTe ane kaTokaTI kheMcI levAya. je. pI. paNa IMdirAbahenanAM kAryoMmAM pUraka ane ane A badhuM ApaNA bhAlanaLakAMThA prayAganA mukhya grAmaphrendra gUMdI sthaLanA mAdhyamathI, bhAlanaLakAMThA prAyeAgika saMdhanA pAyAnA kAryakara mAraphata thAya, e mATe prayatne ApaNI rIte cAle ja che. hitendra desAI 'viramagAma' vistAramAMthI saunA sahayeAge cUMTAya. kAI pazu koMgresa vibhAganA sabhya hamaNAM na bane paNu (25-30)nA gAMdhIvicAra grAmakoMgresI jUthanA netA thaI AjanI sarakAranI dharatI pAkI kare. tema ja chevaTe banne keMgresane eka karavAmAM mahattvane bhAga bhajave! A vicAra rAtanA eka vAgye tamane ALye, va ghaNuM ja ceAgya gaNAya. 'saMtamAla' kA tA. 6-8-'75 vahAlAM u, huM. kAzIbahena, tamAre ati suMdara ane hRdayabhAve spaSTatAthI vyakta karata putra maLyuM. AnaMda thayA. tameAe vigate 'tAmaya prArthanA'nI* zarUAta leAkamAnya tilaka *kaTokaTI uThAvI levA mATe zarU thayelA zuddhi prayAganA nirdeza che. 85

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nirvANa dine karI ane tamArAthI ja te zarUAta thaI te lakhyuM tethI AnaMda thaye ane jANavAnuM paNuM maLyuM. "saMcAlaka tipimaya prArthanA kendra (guMdI)] taraphathI traNeya divasane vigatavAra hevAla maLyA. rasapUrvaka vAM. ne A ahevAla ahIM mokalavA badala dhanyavAda kaheje. saMtabAla tA. 8-9-75 vahAlAM u. he. bahena kAzIbahena, mArAthI AvezamAM je kahevAyuM, tene tame sArA arthamAM ja lIdhuM tethI mane ghaNe saMtoSa thayo che. ApaNe saue ApaNAM kendramAtA mIrAMbahenanA apAra guNe ane emanI nIDaratA tathA bhavya caritanAM divya ta jevAne mATe AMkha ane hRdaya keLavIe ane meLavIe. kyAMya paNa ghasAtuM na bolIe; eTaluM ja nahi emanA guNonuM ja varNana karI saune sAcuM bhAna karAvIe A ja huM IcchuM chuM. saMtabAla ciMcaNI, tA. 18-10-75 vahAlAM unnatahRdayA kAzIbahena vaDodarA jatAM tA. 7-10-75ne lakhele vistRta patra vAMcI badrI kedAranuM rasamaya varNana vAMcavA jevo AnaMda saune the. mIrAMbahene

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hamaNuAM ja e patra pUrA sAMbhaLyuM. ApaNA rmANubhAI e te A badhuM varNana vistArathI vi. vA. mAM jAhera karyuM ja che. dhIrubhAI te khUba ThIka rahyuM te navAInI sAthe Azcarya pamADanArI ane noMdhapAtra ghaTanA saheje banI rahe che. AmAM temanI peAtAnI AMtarika zraddhAnA kALA sauthI mATeA ja gaNAya. temane peAtAne paNa bihAra khAdIyAtrAmAMthI lakhelA patra maLelo. saMteASa thayA. hA, vimukhahenanA vigatavAra patra maLye, te pazu adbhuta gaNuAya, tevI ghaTanAvALA che. teonuM gayeluM kImatI sAnuM paNa acAnaka maLI gayuM! nIti, nyAya ane saraLatAne raste je jIvana nirvahe che teneA kudaratanA darabAramAM paNa suMdara paDadhA paDe ja che, tema e ghaTanA kahI jAya che. amerikAmAM paNa zrI haridAsa para vItela vitaka kathAnuM chevaTanuM pariNAma te badhI rIte rUDuM ja phalita thatuM jaNAI rahe che. - khIjuM, phUlajIbhAI aMgenuM lakhANa maLyuM. gaI kAle te bhAI maNikAMtabhAI ne vAMcavA ApeluM, Aje pAchuM AvI gayuM che. te lakhANa paNu keTaluM badhuM hArdika che! dAjIbhAI (phUlajIbhAInA putra)nA patra paNa ghaNA nikhAlasa ane vigate Avye che. temanA manamAM phUlajIbhAInI hayAtImAM je gaDa naheAtI besatI, te phUlajIbhAInI ciravidAya pachI je dilAsApatranA dheAdha ja vaLyAM karyAM tathA leAkeA AvyA, te parathI AkhAye kuTuMba para ane sau para dhaNI UMDI chApa paDI che. pA te kayAM-kayAMthI dUra-sudUrathI ahIM paNa AvyA ja kare che. phUlajIbhAI e te jema jIvI jANyuM tema marI paNu jANyuM gaNAya. tame gUMdInI zekasabhAmAM paNu ghaNuM ja suMdara kudaratI rIte khelI zakayAM hatAM, ema maNibhAIe kahyuM che. sAruM thayuM. "reDa khadrI-kedAra bAjuthI paNa samayasara tamA, priya cheTubhAI vagere javAraja ane gUMdI paNa paheAMcI gayAM ! '" maNibhAI paNu ahIMthI gayA, te! saune e sAruM lAgyuM... 'saMtamAla' ra

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cicaNI, tA. 15-4-76 vahAlAM unnatahedayA kAzIbahena, acAnaka maracA sarakArane toDI, lAlacoDara vagereno upayoga thayo e badhuM ja duHkhada gaNAya. cheTubhAInI tabiyatane aMge tathA A kAraNe japa sAthe traNa upavAsa zAMtithI patyA. saMta vinobA paNa have pitAnI rIte paNa ApaNI vAta tarapha AvI ja rahyA che, jyAre ApaNI pAse te varSothI e masAle che ja. eTale IMdirAbahenane kadAca gaMdI grAma kendra bhAlanaLakAMThA prayoga eka divasa jarUra gamaze. AmAM IdirAbahenano koI vyaktigata savAla nathI. deza ane jagatanA hita mATe saMta vinobA ane ApaNe mathIe chIe. ApaNI pAse te eka spaSTa citra varSothI che ja. eTale emAM khuzAmatano savAla na ja hoya. bhArata deza e che ane ene jagatane deravAnI javAbadArI upADI levAnI che. eTale IdirAbahenane, priya merArajIbhAIne tathA je. pI. vagerenI ekatA jarUrI che. pratikAra dhaMdhukA tAlukAmAM ApaNA kAryakaro samayasara na karI zakyA. te karyo hota te senAmAM sugaMdha bhaLata. paNa khoTA dilAsA jhINAbhAI vagerenA nIvaDyA. khera, haju ghaNuM judI judI taka ApaNa pAse che ja. gujarAta pAse zakti ghaNuM che. vaLI gujarAtanI prajAnI koMgresabhakti paNa bharapUra che, mAtra pahela karavI ghaTe. prathama priya merArajIbhAI kAMI nahatA karI zakyA. ApaNe tethI prasaMge prasaMge

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cetAvatA ja hatA. takoe jIvarAja mahetAthI mAMDIne cImana paTela va. nA pradhAnamaMDaLanI UDavAnI vAto lakhI, te ThIka karyuM. sAyalA jaI AvyAM, te jANyuM. ApaNe te pagapALA pravAsa, bhikSAcarI, Arthika vahIvaTamAM na paDavuM, nArIsparzathI dUra vagere bAbato kaDaka rIte pALavI ghaTe. kAraNa ke te ja krAntipriya jaina sAdhu praNAlI jaLavAI rahe. A vAta tamAre vahAlAM sAdhavIone je asarakAra rIte kahevI joIe te tyAre kahI zakyAM nathI, ema tamArA patra parathI jaNAya che. "saMtabAla cicaNI, tA. 15-5-76 vahAlAM unnataedayA kAzIbahena, aMbubhAIne jAte lakhele patra vAMcI nirAMta anubhavI. dhIre dhIre phUrti ane zakti vadhatAM jAya che. kherAkanI rUci jAge che. e badhAM sArAM lakSaNe che. mArA gayA patramAM je ciMtA vyakta karelI te have rahetI nathI. vahAlA sevaka babalabhAI mahetAne Avele bhAvabharyo patra, ane jAte AvI tabiyatane najare jovAnI bhAvanA te temanA jevA pAyAnA saMta samA kAryakartAnI UMDI sahAnubhUti sUcave che. je kAma davA paNa nathI karI zakatI (pAchaLa) te kAma jaLa ane havA kare che, ane je kAma AbohavA nathI ApI zakatI, te kAma saMtahRdayanI duvA ApI jAya che. kamaLAbahene A vakhate jAte lakhyuM, tethI amane (kendra mAtAjI sahita) saune ghaNo saMtoSa thaye. "saMtabAla 89

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vahAlAM unnataedayA kAzIbahena, ...lIMbaDI pU. hemakuMvarabAI ThAAM panAM darzana karI AvyAM te ThIka karyuM. gurudevanuM ja kArya gurudeve saMpradAyamAM rahIne karyuM. 'saMtabAle' e ja zrImad-gAMdhIjI ane gurudevanA anusaMdhAnamAM dharmakrAnti mATe je sAdhusAdhvIee bhaviSye karavAnuM, tenA cIle zarU karyAM. zarUAtamAM navuM hAvAthI saMpradAye saMpradAya bahArA TharAva karI nAkhyA. paNa have saune nivedananA muddA yathArtha lAge che te e saMpradAya bahArane TharAva saMpradAya dhAre te pAchA kheMcI zake che. A vakhate muMbaI vihArayAtrAmAMthI ane mahAsatI lIlAbAI va. ahIM AvavAthI badhI cekhavaTo thaI che. sAdhvIjIee have 'cicaNu' AvI adhyayana-adhyApana vAste kAryakrama apanAvI levA ghaTe che. pagapALA cAlavAnI vAta laIne 'saMtabAla' cAle che, eTale tyAM AvI javuM azakaya che. sAtatyarakSA ane parivartanazIlatA baMne ane maulika sAdhuvananA niyame custa rIte pALavAnA hAI tyAM AvavuM have zakaya nathI jaNAtuM. ApaNAM adhAMnI sAdhvIenI lAgaNI badala AnaMda. lIlAbAI va. satIe ane hasumatI sAdhvI va. nI vigatA jANI. hasubAI sAdhvI premathI vedanA vede che, e AtmA UjaLA che. "" tA. 22-10-'77 saMdhyA eLI pUrI karavI che? A bAbatamAM tamArAM vahAlAM meTAM ahenanuM kahevuM sAva sAcu che, chtAM tame katyAM sAMbhaLe che ? 'saMtamAla 90

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ciMcaNI, tA. 15-1-78 vahAlAM unnatahRdayA kAzIbahena, tamee bahena mIrAMbahena tathA maNibhAInA samarpaNane bhavya aMjali ApI, je joI ghaNe saMtoSa thAya che. saddagata mAtAjI pratye tamArIye (mIrAMbahenane lIdhe) mAtRmamatA hatI, te jANI AnaMda. tame kahe che te sAcuM ja che ke "dheDAne caDanAra pitA jAya, tenA karatAM daLaNuM daLI mAMDa peTa bharanAra mAtA jAya te vasamuM vadhu lAge." kAraNa ke mA" e "mA" ja che. caMcaLabAnuM mRtyu chevaTe ghaNuM ja suMdara thayuM. aMta vakhate manoratho paNa sArA rahyA ane "saunuM bhaluM thajo e AzIrvAda ApIne sidhAvyAM, te jANI bahu ja AnaMda thaye! saMtabAla cicaNa, tA. 7-1-179 vahAlAM unnatahRdayA kAzIbahena, bagadarA kheDUta saMmelana bhavya rIte thayuM te hevAla pUrepUre "lekamAnya' dainikamAM paNa Avele. e zuddhiprayoga paNa zakti mAgI kendramAtA mIrAbahenanAM mAtuzrI. 91

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leze. je amaladArone durAgraha gujarAta sarakAra vize, te ghaNuM zakti mAgI leze. sadbhAgye navalabhAI AmAMnuM satya kezubhAI (ziyALa) ne lAMbo patra jotAM jANe che. jo Ama hoya te teo pachI kema cUpa besI rahI zakyA? te jANI khUba maMthana thAya tevuM che. teoe naitika hiMmata, satya ane prAmAbhimukhavRttinI vaphAdArI rUpe jhaTajhaTa batAvavI joIe. sALaMgapura zuddhiprayogamAM ekadA evI vaphAdArI varSo pahelAM teoe batAvelI te yAdI tamArA jevAMe rUbarU prasaMgopAtta jaI tAjI karAvavI ghaTe. vicAraje ane yogya lAge to A kAma karazo te bA. ja. paTelane chevaTe satya joI zakavAmAM ghaNI moTI madada maLaze. saMta vinebAjI jayAre govadhapratibaMdha mATe prANuchAvarI zarU kare, te pahelAM bhA. na. prayoga vatI zuddhiprayega mArge sArI peThe javAbadArI UbhI thavA saMbhava rahe che. jJAnacaMdajI svAmInA patro Ave ja che. saMtabAla tA. 25-1-'79 vahAlAM unnatahRdayA kAzIbahena, tamene tA. 18-1-79nA roja sATha varSa (ummaranAM) pUrAM thayAM. tame tA. 9-1-79nA aMtardezIyamAM lakhe che ke "jIvanapaMthanAM sATha varSa pUrAM karI tA. 18-1-78nA roja ekasaThamA varSamAM pagaraNa mADuM chuM!" tamArAM meTAM bahenane (kendramAtA mIrAMbahenane) bhAdaravA 1. te vakhatanA gujarAta rAjyanA zikSaNamaMtrI. 2. te vakhatanA gujarAta rAjayanA mukhyamaMtrI.

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suda AThama - dharo AThamathI bAsaThamuM besI gayuM. AjakAla karatAM vahAlI ziSyA u. he. bahena prabhAte gaI zrAvaNI zakalA paMcamIthI beMtAlIsa varSa pUrAM thaI teMtAlIsamuM varSa besI gayuM. ema samaya jatAM kakyAM vAra che? haja te ektAlIsabeMtAlIsa varSa pUrve haripurA mahAsabhA vakhate tamoe kAyamI vrata laI A vyApaka sevAnA kSetramAM pagaraNa mAMDelAM ! te badhuM yAda Ave che. tamArA pU. pitAzrI ane tame bane bhAlanaLakAMThA prAgavALI saMsthAonI dharmamaya samAjaracanAnI pravRttiomAM sAMgopAMga khUMpI gayAM ane tamArAM sagata mAtuzrI samarata bahene ane kuTuMbe tame pitA-putrI baMnene zubhecchAo sahita vidAya ApI, e badhAM kevAM madhura ane maMgalamaya saMbhAraNuM che ! tame lakho che : "nirmaLa AkAzamAM jhagamagatA aneka tAralA jevAM suMdara kAryo karavAnI...A zveta prabhAte...zakita maLe!" tamane te mArI ja nahi aneka saMtasatIonI zubhecchAo maLI che ane maLyAM ja kare che. ane tame lakhe cheH "halyAbaMdhI jaladI vahelI take thAya ane pU. bAbAne (saMta vinabAne) e aMge anazana na karavuM paDe, evI prabhune prArthanA karuM chuM." ahIM doDha mahinA uparAMtanA divasothI roja A aMge ekAgratAthI sUtroccAra karAvAya ja che. saMtabAla tA. 24-5-79 vahAlAM unnatahedayA kAzIbahena, netrayA mATe tamAre athAga prayatna kharekhara sthAne che ane atizaya sabhAva mAgI le che. bhAlamAM UDatI khArI dhULa tathA

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apUratAM samucita khAnapAna va. aneka kAraNe netra upara e pradezamAM sArI evI Aphata che. teve vakhate netrayajJa jevI susaraLa pravRtti e pradezanAM sarva sAmAnya mAnavIthI mAMDIne nAnAM meTAM ane saMpanna asaMpanna saune mATe anivAryapaNe AvakAradAyaka anAyAse banI raheze. choTubhAI jevA e pradezanA pIDha sevakane hAthe A vakhate uddaghATana thAya che te yathAsthAne che. kurezabhAI jevA parama pI ane ghaDatara pAmelA mahAsevaka hAjara hoya, tathA pAyAnA sevake upasthita hoya, tyAM saphaLatA mATe to pUchavuM ja zuM? ema chatAM parama kRpALu paramAtmadevane namra prArthanA che ke, "A puNyapravRttine 3 maiyAnI mahAkRpA dvArA yaza maLe, te mATe satata mathe." pharI pharIne saphaLatA IcchuM chuM. kurezabhAIne suMdara patra hamaNAM ja TapAlamAM maLe che. saMtabAla cicaNI, tA. 14-8- 79 vahAlAM unnatahadaya kAzIbahena, A sAthe vahAlI zikhyA unnatahRdayA bahena prabhAne dhAmaNathI sagata himatabhAI (tyAMnA bhAvika zrAvaka) vize je mRtyu pahelAMne ane mRtyu vakhatane prasaMga Alekhate kArDa tamArA para Avele, te vAMcIne (A sAthe) pAcho mokalyo che. bahuranA vasuMdharA" e kathana

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sAcuM ja che. alabatta jeTale aMze, te te vyaktimAM sAMpradAyikatA rahitatA haze teTaluM ane tenuM mRtyu Aje vadhu bhavya banaze. kAraNa ke eka ja bhagavAna mahAvIrane mAnanArA (jemaNe AkhAye vizvanA mAnavamAtra te zuM jIvamAtrane piotIkA mAnavA joIe,) paraMtu temAM paNa Aje te TukaDe TukaDA thaI gayA che! vijJAne jema vizvane sAva najIka ANyuM teTale je have dharma paNa sakriya adhyAtmanI rIte saune najIka najIka nahi lAve te vijJAnanI najadIkatA nirarthaka nIvaDaze. A arthamAM vinAne dharma ane AdhyAtmikatAne paDakAra pheMkyo che, tema jaNAya che. paraMtu kudarata niSThA ane nisarganirbharatAne kAraNe jagatAta kheDUta je AkhAye gAmaDAMnI ciMtA karato thaI jaze to tenA mukhyapaNA nIce jagatanuM bhAvi UjaLuM banavAne pUro saMbhava rahe che. Avo zramalakSI kheDUta kharekhara jagatane tAta sAbita paNa thaI jaze. AvatI cUMTaNImAM grAmakoMgresanI A dRSTie mahattA che. mahAsatIjI hasbAIne mRtyuprasaMga tame je meka, te A pahelAM paNa "samaya"nI kApalI je vahAlI ziSyA u. ha. bahena prabhAe mokalI hatI, tethI ane tamArA uparAMta caMdanabAI sAdhvI vatI IndubAI sAdhvInA patra va. thI paNa jANI ghaNo saMtoSa thaye. pAMcamA ArAne aMte paNa chevaTe eka sAdhvI, eka sAdhu, eka zrAvikA ane eka zrAvaka te rahevAnAM. e paikI A eka zrAvikA (jainetara chatAM jaina samevaDAM) jayAbahena tathA sAdhvI hasubhAI (Adarza sAthvI rUpa)nA dAkhalAthI pramANita TharI rahe che. tamane hasabAI mahAsatI sAthe rahevAno ane satata sevA karavAno dhanya prasaMga maLe. A lakhuM chuM tyAre tAja morabI, vavANiyA, rAjakoTa vagere vistAromAM je baMdha tUTavAne lIdhe ane vRSTi 95

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atizayatAne lIdhe relanuM krUra tAMDava macyuM, tenI vigate vAMcatAM bhAre AtmIyavedanA thAya che. pacAsa ekAvana varSa pahelAM e ja meArakhIne AMgaNe dIkSA thayelI ! khera, Akhare te nisarga dhAryuM banatuM sahu e vAta paNa nakAravA jevI nathI ja. e badhI vigate akSarazaH tameAe lakhI che. CR saMtamAla' tA. 27-9-79 vahAlAM unnatahRdayA kAzIbahena, tamAre pUrepUrI vigata darzAvatA patra maLyo. ApaNI DhAMcI zakti chatAM dila hAya teA kuvA mATA sAthe maLI jAya che, tenuM A kAma jvalaMta pramANu che! haju gaI kAle ja gAMdhIjInA anubhava varSI pahelAM rajU karatuM lakhANa joyuM. temAM e vastu kahI che ke "eka mAnavI paNa UMDANapUrvaka eka vastumAM tana, mana ane sAdhana khUMpADI de, te ajoDa kArya karI zake che. kAraNa ke tene kudarata sAtha Ape che!" matalaba, saMkhyAnI paravA karyAM sivAya eka mANuse paNu pUrepUrA khUMpavuM joI e. 96 viduSI sAdhvI damayaMtIbAInA patramAM paNa 20-9-'79nA kArDamAM lakhyuM cheH kAzIbahene, mArakhInuM savistara varNana lakhela je vAMcI haiyuM kaMpI jAya!' Ama jotAM tamane lakhavA-lakhAvavAmAM mahenata jarUra paDe che paNa te badhI mahenata sArthaka thatI lAge che... saMtamAla'

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S3 cicaNI, tA. 11-1-'80 vahAlAM unnatayA kAzIbahena, kendramAtAjIe temane eka pitAnI nAnI bahena tarIke ghaNuM yathArtha lakhyuM che. pUjya cunIlAlajI mahArAja ekalA eka mAsuM zAnithI karI jAya te temane, kendramAtAjIne, tamene ane saune AnaMda ja thaze. A uMmare eka vAra bane gurubaMdhuo maLIe tethI paraspara paripUrNa saMtoSa thAya. dIkSArthI bahenanI sADInI vAta jANI. A rIte khAdI paheratAM thAya, te kudaratI rIte yogya thayuM gaNAya ! piSI pUnama priya choTubhAI tathA tamArA saunA utsAha sArI peThe UjavI gaNAya. vaDodarA zrI zivAnaMda svAmIne vAraMvAra maLAya che, te sAruM ja che. choTubhAI pote nijAnaMdamAM masta che, te ja yogya che. cUMTaNImAM pharI pAchuM na chUTake indirA gAMdhI pratyenuM mojuM AvyuM che. paNa grAma koMgresI thoDA pratinidhione have sArI taka UbhI thaI gaNAya. teo ja koMgresane zuddha saMgIna banAvI zake ane indirA koMgresa upara naitika prabhAva pADI koMgresane vizvavyApI banavAnI taka UbhI karI zake. kAraNa ke thoDA pratinidhione sAmAjika, naitika ane AdhyAtmika Teke pUraka, preraka ane mArgadarzaka baLano maLI rahe. atyAre te IndirAbahena namra ane nikhAlasa rIte bole che tema varte te bhArata ane jagatanuM saunuM kalyANa thavAnI paristhiti UbhI thaI zake. saMtabAla saM5.7

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tA. 25-1-'80 vahAlAM unnataedayA kAzIbahena, tamee tA. 18-1-80thI bAsaThamA varSamAM praveza karyo, te patrathI jANyuM. sevAmUrti te tame nAnI uMmarathI thavA lAgyAM che ane jiMdagInA aMta sudhI sevAmUrti raheze, emAM zaMkA nathI. saddabhAgye tamArI jAgRti paNa vadhatI jatI joI khUba saMtoSa thAya che. tame lakhe cheH "atyAra sudhImAM A pAno caDhatAM je preraNA Apa samA saMtanA AzIrvAda dvArA maLatI rahI che e avirata maLatI rahe evI prArthanA! ApanA dareka kAryamAM huM sadA taiyAra rahuM ane e kAryo saphaLa karavAmAM satata prayatnazIla banI rahuM. mArA jevA. . .e kAryane mUrtimaMta karavA mATe bhagavAna, zakti Ape e ja bhAvanA. gurunA gurubhAvathI jIvana bharuM jIvana bharuM." tamArI A sadbhAvanA ekadhArI rahevAmAM tamAre vyaktigata puruSArtha te ekadhAre vahyA karyo che ja. paNa sAthe sAthe tamane soMpavAmAM tamArAM sagata pU. mAtuzrI samaratabAne paNa phALo nAnosUne nathI. virala mAtA ja pitAnAM AvAM supAtra suputrIne tathA pati jevA patine AvAM satkAryomAM saMpUrNapaNe sepI zake. Ama tamArA pitAputrInA sarvathA samarpaNamAM jema tamArA pU. pitAzrIne pitAne samajaNapUrvakano phALo che, tema tamArAM sata mAtuzrIne paNa ananya je phALe lekha ghaTe che! cAle bhAlanaLakAMThA prayoga je gAMdhI prayogonA anusaMdhAnamAM cAlyA ane cAlu che, tenAM subhAgye ja AvAM eka ekathI caDhe, tevAM supAtra naranArIo maLyAM ane haju maLatAM ja rahe che. kendramAtA mIrAMbahenanA ajoDa phALAnuM te varNana ja na thaI zake! saMtabAla 98

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ciMcaNI, tA. 28-1-80 vahAlAM unnatahRdayA kAzIbahena, tamAruM tA. 25-11-80nuM kArDa hamaNAM TapAlamAM maLyuM. tamArA te patramAM tamArI ekasaThamI pUrI thaIne bAsaThamI varSagAMTha tA. 18-1-80nA zarU thaI te vAtanA javAbamAM lakhAyuM che te A pramANe che: "tamArI A sadbhAvanA ekadhArI rahevAmAM tamAre vyaktigata puruSArtha te ekadhAro vahyA karyo che ja, paNa sAthe sAthe tamane soMpavAmAM tamArAM sadgata pUjya mAtuzrI samaratabAne paNa phALe nAnasUta nathI. virala mAtA ja pitAnAM AvAM supAtra suputrIne tathA pati jevA patine AvAM satkAryomAM saMpUrNa saMpI zake. Ama tamArA pitAputrIne sarvathA samarpaNamAM jema tamArA pU. pitAzrIne pitAne samajaNapUrvakano phALe che, tema tamArAM saddagata mAtuzrIne paNa ananya jevo phALo lekha ghaTe che." uparAMta lakhAyuM che: "tamee tA. 18-1-80thI bAsaThamA varSamAM praveza karyo te patrathI jANyuM. sevAmUrti to tame nAnI uMmarathI thavA lAgyAM che ane jiMdagInA aMta sudhI sevAmUrti raheze, emAM zaMkA nathI sabhAge tamArI jAgRti paNa vadhatI jatI heI khUba saMtoSa thAya che" A badhA pachI paNa janmadinanI zubhecchAo vAraMvAranI svIkArazo. "saMtabAla

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76 tA. 2-4-'80 vahAlAM unnatahedayA kAzIbahena, tamArA patro sArI peThe vigatavAra hoya che. bhAratIya gAmaDuM vizvakendra bane ane e gAmaDAmAM zramalakSI tathA TrasTIzipamAM mAnatA Aje bhale sahakArI pravRttinA sahArA laI ne e TrasTIzipane sArthaka banAvatA hAya, paNu teAya e rIte vartate jagatAta kheDUta evAM vizvaphrendro gAmaDAMmAM mukhyasthAne hAya. bhale A vAta AjanI duniyAne azakaya lAge, paNa gAMdhIjI e ja icchatA hatA. ane emanA pratyeAgAnA anusaMdhAnamAM ApaNe bhAlanaLakAMThAnA vizvavAtsalya dhyeye ahiMsaka (athavA dharmamaya) samAjaracanAnA prayAga lIdhe che. tethI ja ghaNI vAra sIdhAM caDhANe adbhuta pragati karatA athavA kAI vAra paDatA, AkhaDatA pazu nisargakRpAe gurukRpAe AgaLa ne AgaLa te dhapate ja jAya che. tethI khAtarI rahe che, ke e thaze ja. mULe te AkhI duniyAmAM ane dezamAM je sAruM-narasuM hoya che tenA pratyAdhAtA ApaNA prayAgapradeza para, prayAga para ane kAryakare para pazu paDe ja. kudarata maiyAnI dhyA che ke bhAlanaLakAMThA prAyeAgika saMgha, je bhAlanIkAMThA prayoganI krAntipriya muni taLenuM mukhya saMsthAkIya mAdhyama che, teNe pragati keTalI karI e vize bhale matamatAMtara hAya, mArI dRSTie te A sarvAMgINa prayAga hAI, te rIte jotAM satata e pragatizIla rahyo ja che. huM je vizALa dRSTikrANuthI jouM chuM ane enI pAchaLa kudaratI saMketa mAnuM chuM, tema sau na paNa jue e samajI zakAya tevuM che. tethI temAM matamatAMtara rahe te svAbhAvika che. paNa emAMthI AdhArastaMbha gaNAtA kAryakara 100

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bhAIbahena nakhAM paDayAM ane prasaMgopAtta khoTA pUrvagrahone lIdhe zIMgaDAM keIe eAchAM ke vadhu sIdhI ke ADakatarI rIte bharyA, bharAvyAM. chatAM mULa saMgha AbAda rIte ane kharaDAyA vinA mULabhUta siddhAnta sAcavIne TakI rahyo. eTaluM ja nahi, balake phalajIbhAI jevA saMgata thayA pachI paNa enuM pita pUrepUruM sacavAI rahyuM. mArI gerahAjarImAM paNa A pota sacavAyuM che, tenuM mUlya bIjAone kadAca ochuM hoya, paNa mAre mana e asAdhAraNa siddhi che. alabatta kAntipriya saMta, sarvAgINa racanAtmaka kAryakara saMsthA, naitika jana saMgaThana (mukhyapaNe je grAmasaMgaThana) ane nAmathI ane siddhAthI koMgresane ane koMgresI rAjataMtrane anubaMdha e cAra to te ekadhArAM hovAM ja joIe. vyakti te haMmezAM nAzavaMta hoya che. te to badalAyA ja kare, paNuM tevI vyaktionAM sthAna e cAre tAnA anubaMdhamAM sadA kALa purAI rahevAM joIe. alabatta haja yAnI AgalAM traNa tattanI jema kaDI purAI nathI. sarva sevA saMghanA pramukhazrI baMgasAheba jAte ane TocanA sarvodaya kAryakaro dezanA ane gujarAtanA AvI gayA, te prasaMga bhale sAmAnya hoya, paNa ItihAsa ane tatvanI rIte asAmAnya che. jema lIMbaDI nAnA saMpradAya saMghavI saMpradAyanAM agamapremI mahA sAdhvI lIlAbAInuM AkhuM lagabhaga vartuLa ahIM ane gaMdI AvI gayuM, tema ahIM ane tyAM paNa jaina jainetara sAdhu-sAvI saMnyAsIo AvatAM hoya che. te paNa bhaviSya jile jile bhAlanaLakAMThA prAga anvaye praga cAlavAnI dizA UghaDavAnAM ja cihane huM mAnuM che. IndirA koMgresa ane janatA pakSa A gujarAtanI AvatI dhArAsabhAmAM bhAla naLakAMThA prayoganI naitika grAmasaMgaThana zista upara grAma koMgresI tarIke pakSAtIta leka umedavAre je pAMca dasa UbhA rahe temanI sAme IndirA koMgresa ane janatA pakSa potAnA umedavAra ne mUke tevuM thAya toya A cAre anubaMdhita to pUrAM thaI rahe, khera.. sitabAla 101

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CC tA. 15-9-80 vahAlAM unnatahRdayA kAzIbahena, sAMvatsarika kSamApanA nimitte- save jIva karuM zAsana rasI prANImAtrane bhagavAna mahAvIranI prANImAtranI ahiMsA pratye jAgrata karuM ! A sUtra pramANe jainadharma e vizvadharma che. AnaMdaghanajI mahArAjazrI pitAnA nami jina stavanamAM kahe che tema jinavaramAM badhA dharmo, darzana ane vicAro samAI jAya che. ane tethI ja paryuSaNa mahAparva "vizvabaMdhutva" ne athavA "vizva vAtsalyane paripuSTa karanAruM parama punita parva che, e yAda karIe chIe. temAM saMvatsarIne divasa e paryuSaNane ziromaNi divasa che. te divase sarva jIvone mitra banAvI, dilanA duzmana che vamavAnA e "saMtaziSya" kAvyapaMkti sArthaka banI rahe tema karavAnuM che. vyaktigata ane samAjagata sarvAgINa sAdhanAnI daSTie cAlatA A AkhA varSa daramyAna jAye-ajAye manathI, vacanathI ane kAyAthI tamene duHkhadAyaka evuM kAMI karyuM, karAvyuM ke anumAvuM hoya evI koI paNa prakAranI nAnI moTI je kAMI kSati thaI hoya, te badhAnI kSamApanA sAthe kSamAyAcanA karI laI Aje haLavA thaI javAya che. saMtabAla 10ra

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tA. 20-1-81 vahAlAM unnatahudayA kAzIbahena, gaMdI AzramathI tA. 17-1-41no lakhela patra AjanI TapAlamAM maLe che. A lAMbA ane vigatavAra patranI thoDI vigato lakhI, A patra lakhAte hatuM tyAM ja ramAbahena ane emanAM pU. bA tathA pU. mAsIbA sAta divasathI ahIM potAnI rUmamAM rahe che, teo darzane AvyAM ane tamAre lAMbe ane vigatavAra Avele patra ThIka ThIka vaMcAya. saune AnaMda thayo. vimalA ThakAranA jIvanaga" DiseMbara 1980nA navamA aMkamAMne rAjasthAna prAdezika saMmelanamAM 27-9-80 ne divase apAyelA pravacanane thoDo bhAga paNa vaMcAye, jene Trake nicoDa A che A dezanA loko AdhyAtmika rahyA hoya ke nA rahyA hoya... paNa. AdhyAtmika jIvanavijJAna A dezamAM vikasyuM. emAM ApaNane janma maLe ene InkAra ApaNe karI zakIe nahi. vijJAna satyazodhananI paddhati che. . e . . . eka vijJAne hajAro varSa pahelAM pUrvamAM janma lIdhe. jemAM Idriye, mana buddhine pAchaLa cheDIne aMdaranA ane bahAranA avakAzamAM pitAnA satyane zodhavAne mArga banAvyuM. jIvanavijJAne ApelI upalabdhiono svIkAra nahi karIe te saMsAramAM mAnavIya mUlyanI pratiSThA nahi thAya ! zarIramAM mana, buddhithI adhika sarva prakArathI svataMtra cittazakti che. . . anaMta rUpa, anaMta AkAra, anaMta nAmane dhAraNa karIne e zakti vilasI rahI 103

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che. anekatAne ekatAnA sUtramAM bAMdhavAvALI eka prabhusattA che. Ane ja zrImad rAjacaMdra adhiSThAna nAme oLakhAve che, te vizvamAM otaprota prabhusattA sAthe ane gharamAM rahelI AtmasattA sAthe saMbaMdha nahi joDavAmAM Ave tyAM sudhI satya balavAnI khabara nahi paDe! basa Ane ja ApaNe eka ane anaMtane tALo meLavavAnuM kahIe chIe !... tame 187 dadInAM netro se TakA sAja karavAmAM nimitta banyAM. te thaI prANadayA. ane paDhAra saMmelanamAM ane paDhAra bALakonA rANAgaDha AzramamAM je pachAta lekhAtI te kema sAthe AtmIyatA mANI, te thaI AMtaradayA. Ama AMtaradayA ane prANIdayAno jyAM sumeLa thAya, tyAM AtmAthIpaNuM ane jijJAsubhAvapaNuM e bannene eka ane anaMtano tALo maLyo kahevAya. kheDUtonAM saMgaThana karI je AjanI lekazAhIne kheDUtane mukhya banAvI gAmaDAMnA 75-80 TakAne alaga tAravI ene adhIna banAvI mUko, te bhAratIya kheDUtanA hitamAM ja jagatanuM hita ApeApa AvI jAya. pazcimane badale pUrvanI AdhyAtmika zaktine rAjakAraNa, arthakAraNa, saMpradAyakAraNuM, samAjakAraNu ema sarva kSetre jayajayakAra thaI jAya ! Akhare e thaze ja. paNa emAM sAdhu-sAdhvIo (khAsa karIne kAtipriya jaina sAdhuo ane pUraka tarIke sAdhvIo ane saMnyAsIo) pachI vimalA ThakAra jevAMnA netRtva nIcenI racanAtmaka kAryakara saMsthAo bhA. na. prA. sevAne anusaranArI hAthapagarUpa banI jAya te janasaMgaThana ane temAMya mukhyatve naitika grAmasaMgaThana, jemAM mukhyapaNe naitika kheDUta maMDaLanuM hoya, te dvArA saiddhAttvika ane nAmI koMgresa grAma koMgresa rAjakIya saMsthA ane enuM rAjakIya rAjyataMtra A traNeyane adhIna jarUra thaI javAnuM ane to AjanI badhI samasyAo dezanI ane duniyAnI satya-ahiMsArUpa sakriya dharmathI jarUra UkalI javAnI ja. - jaina sAdhu-sAdhvI tarIkenI Arthika bAbatonI mArI maryAdA A badhAM jANe ja che. kAraNa ke ahasaka athavA dharmamaya samAjaracanA 104

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gAMdhI prayoganA anusaMdhAnamAM bhAlanaLakAMThA prayogamAM dhana ane sattAne ThekANe mAnavIya mUlyo nIti, satya ane nyAyanI ja pratiSThA te janasevaka saMsthA ane janasaMsthA dvAra karI rahela che. porabaMdara tAlukAnAM gAmaDAM hoya ke game te tAlukAnAM gAmaDAM hoya paNa gAmaDAM haja AzAsthAne che ja. kharaDAyA chatAM ThIka thaze ja naLasarovaranuM kudaratI saundarya paNa joyuM ane jyAM zikAra thato tyAM pazupaMkhI rakSaNa thAya che, te kudarata maiyAne ke pratApa ! saMtabAla tA. ra8-1-181 vahAlAM unnatahRdayA kAzIbahena, sauthI pahelAM tamArAM bAsaTha varSa pUrAM thaI "63' che ane traNa beya AMkaDA bhegA thAya che, tema je bhAlanaLakAMThA prAga gAMdhIprayAgonA anusaMdhAnamAM sakriya adhyAtmane mDe ane prANIsevaka bananArI mAnavasevAne tagaDo najIka najIka Ave che, tema kAyama najIka najIka tamAre mATe ane je bhAlanaLakAMThA prayoganI sevAmAM tame bharajuvAnImAM Adarza pitAsvarUpa cheTubhAI sAthe khUmAM che, te bhAlanaLakAMTho prayoga mATe paNa anubaMdhita thanArAM badhAM (mukhyatve cAra) paribaLo najIka najIka AvavA lAgyAM che. temAM tame noMdhapAtra nimitta banI rahe ! e ja prabhuprArthanA sahita uMDI zubhecchAo ApI dauM ! je rAhatakArya dharmakrAntinA piTAmAM che, temAM tamAre utsAha jema tamane AnaMda Ape che, tema A vizvalakSI prayogamAM eka mArgadarzaka tarIke mAre kahevAnuM Ave te kahete rahuM chuM ane tame sAMbhaLI zakya te amalI banAvavA mathe che, e meTI vAta che. saMtabAla 105

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50 tA. 20-7-81 vahAlAM unnatahRdaya. bahena kAzIbahena, sauthI pahelAM tA tamArAM vahAlAM moTAM bahenane tamArA aThThamanI ghaNI ghaNI ciMtA thAya che. mIrAMbahenanI e dRSTie vAta sAcI che, ke alabatta 'kAzI' jevI sevAbhAvI ane pavitra bahenathI upavAseAnI zarUAta thAya, te te samajI zakAya ! pa jema khakhalabhAI e anAmata prazna' jevA amadAvAdane AMgaNenA tAkAnI prazna vakhate paNa harijana Azrama jevA pavitra sthaLe pahela upavAsI tarIke ja karelI, tema thaI zake ! have je thayuM te thayuM. paNa dhIrubhAInA kA~pattinivAraNa mATe keTalA aThThama thaI gayA ane haju thADA (khe kadAca) bAkI ja che. vaLI viramagAmamAM pazu aTTamanI zarUAta kAzIbahenanI ja hatI. dilhI jaI AvyAM tyAM paNa upavAse ja upavAsA. uMmara vadhatAM ane ispitAlanuM kAma evuM ke aniyamita rIte vAraMvAra javA-ka2vAnuM thatuM heAya. AthI atitapa ane atizaya vadhatI uMmare kAyamI japhA paheoMcADI de! eTale kendramAtA tarIkenI paNa emanI ciMtA musthAne ja che. ApaNA vahAlerA svAmIjInA manamAM tame lakheA che tema gaumAtA aMgenA prazna hADAhADa lAgele che." paraMtu amane (saMta vitAkhAjIne ane mane) bannene maLIne gayA pachI have AmarAMta anazananI vAta bhUlI javAnI hatI, paNa haju bhUlatA nathI. eTale A vakhate emane lakhyuM che. dhIrubhAInI tabiyata aMge ciMtA te saute rahe, paNa chevaTe 1. kAzIbahenanA mADhAbhAI jemane lakavAnA humaaA thayA hatA. 106

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prayatna" ApaNuM hAthamAM paNa pariNAma to nisargamaiyA para choDI je paristhiti rahe, temAM saMtoSa rAkha joIe. sadbhAgye tame najIkathI moTAbhAI dhIrubhAIne samajAvI zake che, te sAruM che. prabhAbahena te prabhuzraddhA-guruzraddhAmAM ja ghaDAyelAM che. sitaAla" cicaNuM, tA. 14-1-82 vahAlAM unnatahRdayA kAzIbahena, tamAre tA.30-12-81 ne ane chelle 11-1-82nA rAtrinA deDha vAgye lakhelo ema banne kavaramAMnA patro vigatavAra vAMcI saune khUba saMtoSa thayo. tamArI lakhAvaTamAM uttama prakAranuM varNana hoya che. te Teva sArI che. tamArAM vahAlAM meTAM bahenane patharIne kAraNe tathA page sAMdhe jhalAI javAne kAraNe je pIDA che, te to Aje che ja. paraMtu ema chatAM lAlA bhaktine kAraNe teo evAM mastImAM ekaMdare rahe che ke "AgaMtukane ATaluM mahAdarda thAya che, tene khyAla bhAgye ja Ave". tame jema keMdramAtAnuM AmaMtraNuM ane jJAna, bhakti, karmatriveNu-yukta Atithya cAkhI AnaMdamaya ane jiMdagIbhara yAdI tAcha rahe, tevuM amRta pAmI gayAM [aMbubhAIne paNa evo ja AnaMda ne saMtoSa thayAM, te temanAM lakhANathI jaNAI rahe che !) ane saMsthAkIya rIte paNa vadhu saMtava eTalA mATe paNa thaye ke baMnenAM dilaDAM paraspara 1. dhIrubhAInAM patnI. 107

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tame A patramAM jaNAve che tema ekarUpa thaI gayAM. tene AnaMda to ApaNuM pramukhazrI kurezIbhAIne paNa khUba thAya, e dekhItuM che. tamAre sevAbhAva te netrayA hoya ke prasuti pIDAnivAraNa hoya; rAhata aMgenA phaMDathI mAMDIne nAnAM moTAM badhAM kAryo ke dezanA koI bhAgamAM sevA mATenuM teDuM hoya athavA nAvaDA ke bIje athavA dilhI zuddhiga hoya, paNa A sevAmUrti kALubA te doDIne pahoMcI ja javAnAM. paraMtu have tamArAM moTAM bahenanI e IcchAne mAna ApI vadhu upavAsone mArge na javAya tevuM karaze. ApaNuM gurudeva te emanA ApelA mIrubhAI birudane lIdhe mIrAMbahenanI e icachAne mAnavAnI tamane jarUra preraNuM Apaze ja. keTalIka vAra te tamArA vadhu upavAse koI paNa kAraNe thAya tyAre tenI ciMtA ghaNuM vadhI jatI hoya che. have to ApaNe saue temanuM citta prasanna vadhu ne vadhu rahe tevuM zakya te prayatna karavuM joIe. cAle tyAre ghaNuM lakhAyuM. tamArA ja zabdoH "jIvananA chellA zvAsa sudhI banI zake eTalI guruAjJAmAM rahI, temanI cIMdhelI keDI para Daga bharIne kArya karI zakuM! temanA zubha satya vicAre mUrtimaMta karavA anubaMdha vicAradhArA dvArA prema, dayA, karuNA, kSamA evA guNo mArA jIvanamAM vikasatA rahe e ja IcchuM chuM." tamArI A IchA saphaLa thAo ! "apaMga" kRtatsava sarasa thayo. pioSI pUnama utsava paNa ThIka thaye, e badhI vigate jANI AnaMda. priya maNibhAI ne gulAbanI upamA sAcI che. saMtabAla 108