I am The Soul Part 02

Author(s): Tarulatabai Mahasati
Publisher: Shri Gujarati Shwetambar Sthanakwasi Jain Association

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I am the Soul
deep thinking about a subject, one has to concentrate well on it. All distractions around get ignored. The mind and intellect get involved in thinking and as such the influence then is very strong.
Brothers! We notice that whatever subjects this jiva has deeply dwelt upon, has churned well, their influence is very much established on us even today. Our feelings of attachment and avarice are so strong that they do not break in spite of our best efforts. They are lying in the atma whenever we see. They do not need to be awakened or invoked. Their influence is so strong that it can be likened to the knot on a thin but strong strand of silk thread on which a drop of oil is placed. The knot can never be undone. We have also settled the influences of affected disposition in the atma, with the help of the stickiness of passions. We dabble in affected disposition again and again.
We not only indulge in attachment and aversion, but keep looking for more ways of continuing to do so. Since the passion of attachment is lying within, we make a thousand efforts to feed that passion, our thoughts are preoccupied with it, our mind, speech and body have just that activity. In the same way there are the efforts to feed the passion of avarice. Thus the jiva has been nurturing such feelings of l' and 'mine' from infinite time, has been thinking of only that. As such these influences were carried into smaller or bigger life forms wherever the jiva went.
I recall an anecdote. We were at Jharia Coal Fields, Bihar in 1969 for the Chaturmas. The nun's residence was in a narrow lane and about 8-10 feet away was an old house with a tiled roof. One morning when I looked out of the window, I saw a crow come with a loaf in its beak. It perched on the tiled roof, looked around to make sure no one saw him, then pressed the loaf in its claw, lifted the round tile with its beak and placed the loaf on the plain tile underneath. Then he covered it up with the round tile. It made sure nobody was watching, and then flew away towards the west. Immediately, another crow, who must