Chitrabhanu Man with Vision

Author(s): Clare Rosenfield
Publisher: Jain Meditation International Centre New York

Page 32

together. He pointed out to Rup, "Run away from anything and you'll always be chased by it. It's either the chaser or the chased! Just be open and honest with yourself, then you will be open and honest with me. That's the first step to being courageous."
Though his father's gently spoken admonishments penetrated Rup's consciousness at the time, Rup did not stop venturing into mischief. It was as if he had to continue to play with fire, testing the world to give him back his own reflection. By the time he was a teenager, he joined his rebellious pals and became a habitual smoker. To the dismay of his father and uncles, he even smoked haughtily in public.
One day an insight came to him.
Smoking is making me a slave. Why? What is wrong with me? I am restless and exploding inside, but is smoking helping me be less restless? No, it only adds to that. It is a useless and harmful habit. I am going to do away with it. After all, who is in control here, me or my habit? Can't I master my habit instead of allowing it to master me?
It was a daring step, a definite decision. This is how he put an end to his habit. One afternoon he went off alone with fifty cigarettes. He sat down and deliberately began to smoke one cigarette after another. He forced himself to smoke more and more until he became sickened and passed out.
When he woke up, he threw away the cigarettes remaining in the pack and was never again tempted to smoke. He also disengaged himself from his old gang of mischievous friends.
There I did it! I knew it was possible. That wasn't so hard once I made the decision to do it. Now my friends won't like me anymore. Never mind! Without their company and its bad influence, I will be free from their pressure, I'll be free to be myself!
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