Chitrabhanu Man with Vision

Author(s): Clare Rosenfield
Publisher: Jain Meditation International Centre New York

Page 86

place to rest the body, a roof overhead at night, a little food as nourishment, some cloth to cover this skin and bones. At least the monkhood meets these basic needs. What more do I need? I don't have any desire to amass more and more of the same things. And I don't think that you do either. That is why I feel you will understand me. At this point in my life, I can see no other way. There is only one burning need — to remove this pain in my heart and unravel this mystery called death. Otherwise, what is life for?”
“My dear son,” his father gently responded. “I have great reverence for your feelings. We have undergone a series of ordeals. We have suffered together. All these things have led us to this moment. I wish it could have been otherwise. But what to do about this family name? It is not so much my concern as that of our family clan. How to ignore their feelings?”
"Oh Father,” Rup spoke frankly. “This pain in me longs for peace. It does not allow me to be even in a mood to marry. Such a chance is utterly remote. Besides, don't you think that our aunts and uncles are attached to this tag we call our name because of possessiveness and sentimentality? That's their way of thinking. They can't help it. But should I give my life over to them just so that they can feel a false sense of security? It will only be a temporary relief. The time will come and a new worry will burden them, a new demand will arise."
Rup paused for a moment. A deep feeling for his father welled up from within. Gently he spoke from his heart.
“Please, my dear Father, let me say this. I care more than I can say for all you have given to me. You have always shared with me, from your heart, withholding nothing. I cannot imagine a more loving father in all the worl:!. My feeling for you is no less strong than yours for me. It will be difficult to part from you. But just now, I am in a fragmented state. The master whom I met told me I must concentrate my energy. Through the monk's way of life I will pull myself together. I'll be moving in a positive direction. And so I ask you once again, please understand me and give me your blessings."
His father quietly closed his eyes. He entered a state of meditation. Rup relaxed as he saw a peaceful expression light
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