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But his visitor only smiled and said, “The wait was useful. I have already received what I came for. In the time I was here, Ibecame aware of my peaceful vibration. I let go of my tension. In letting go, I experienced such a feeling. It is inexpressible. It was such a deep peace. For that I came here. And for that I thank you from the bottom of my heart.”
Gurudev took his hand and between two hearts there flowed a stream of mutual reverence and love.
One afternoon Sorella drove Gurudev to meet the friend about whom she had told him while in Bombay. She was sure that he could help her. When the problem had been aired, Gurudev showed the woman some techniques of meditation and suggested some ways to overcome the yearly attack. He told her, “Before the month when the painful memories return, you must start working. From right now you start. Tell yourself that what happened in the 1940's is not happening now. You are living in 1970. You see now as now, and then as then. You stop identifying with the past. When you stop identifying, you will stop bringing the past into the present. But first, you deliberately bring the incident into your mind, and when you are about to relive it or identify with it, repeat to yourself 'Na-ham, Not l' with your breath. 'Na' with the inbreath, 'ham' with the outbreath. In this way slowly you will disengage yourself completely from this event. And when the month comes, you will be ready to face it with transcendent awareness.”
She took his words to heart. From that day she started working seriously on that level. Later, when Gurudev was back in Bombay, she wrote to him telling him that that year, when the trembling feelings started to come, she had gathered all her concentration, all her understanding, and all her energy, and had said, “Na-ham. I am not that. That was in the past. I am in the present. I do not accept these trembling feelings. I do not allow this attack to come over me any more.” She had conquered. Her burden lifted, she expressed her deep gratitude to Gurudev for his guiding light.
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