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It was here that Munishree decided to meditate intensively for three days. Why did he select such an isolated wilderness? He had decided to put himself to the test.
Now I want to see, am I living for formulas or am I living for life? How deep has this teaching gone? Is it knowledge or is it knowing? Now is the time to separate the husk and the grain. Dolgenuinely feel life? Or am I still living in fear of annihilation? All my studies have taught me to believe in the indestructible power of soul, but inside don't I still have some fear in my heart? Now I want to see whether I am pretending or not.
For that, he had to put his mind into that state where it could confront all of its leftover fears. Once and for all, he was determined to break all psychological complexes, fears, and inhibitions and free himself from all limitations.
This is the moment. If not now, then when?
From early morning till late at night, Munishree sat on the rocks outside of the caves in a lotus posture and meditated. At night he spread his cloth on the rocks inside one cave and alternated between resting in yoganidrā and meditating until morning. On the first and third day, he descended into the village several miles below to collect his food. He then returned immediately to his mountain retreat.
Sometimes he watched wild animals moving nearby. As he watched, he observed his mind, how unafraid it was becoming. He felt as if some extra inner strength was being released to give him balance. Confronted with the possibility of being devoured or bitten by an animal, he was able to pinpoint clearly the source of all his fears of loss, annihilation, or death -- as misidentification.
Oh, until now I have been identifying with my body. I have been depending on this ephemeral house instead of on the life dwelling inside. I have been confusing outer with inner, the periphery with the center. But outer is only a support system to allow inner to reveal itself. Without my Self, this outer would not function.
In his meditation, he consciously withdrew from identifying with all of his outer dependencies. Like a tortoise, he pulled into himself. From here, he was able to watch layer after layer of dependency drop away. That vague mist of insecurity which
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