Book Title: Chitrabhanu Man with Vision
Author(s): Clare Rosenfield
Publisher: Jain Meditation International Centre New York

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Page 35
________________ True to his word, the night of the black moon, he went off to the cremation ground. It was pitch black and no one was stirring, except a few lizards and hooting owls. In the distance, dogs howled and cats whined. Not a single comforting sound or pleasing sight was within range of his senses. Even to set foot in such a place took all of his courage. He found the banyan tree and sat down beneath it. Inside he was trembling. For the first hour, he had a hard time controlling his thoughts. What if it is true? What if the demon comes to take me away? What if this place is teeming with spirits? After all, in my house, there were only two cloths hanging on a line, but here is the place where ghosts and demons really like to liue. He stayed his ground. He kept on reminding himself why he was doing this. Nothing would budge him from his desire to rid himself of this residue of fear lurking in his mind. Be quiet, imagination! You are making me dizzy. You are throwing me into some abyss. If I listen to you, I will never get out. I refuse to listen to you. I will be strong no matter what. This is my chance. The second hour passed. No demon appeared. No spirit floated past. He stopped clutching his pocket knife so tightly. Little by little, his anxiety began to subside and his tension dropped. He no longer had to hold his concentration in such a taut manner. He opened his eyes widely in the darkness and looked about. He even looked at a burning corpse without feeling the same horror. His fear began to melt away. As the third hour neared its end, he began to enjoy a new feeling, an indescribable sense of peacefulness which came from having let go of the grip of fear. He noticed the quietness of the place and the calm of the wise old trees. Replacing the insecurity and apprehension was a light and buoyant sense of reassurance. He smiled and spoke aloud, “Truly there is no fear unless I myself give life to it by believing in it." He found a soft grassy place and lay his head down to rest. At dawn he went home elated. He had tossed the idea of "haunted” and “spirits” out of his mind. Now I am convinced. There is nothing in the world which 18 Jain Education International For Private & Personal Use Only www.jainelibrary.org

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