Chitrabhanu Man with Vision

Author(s): Clare Rosenfield
Publisher: Jain Meditation International Centre New York

Page 37

The boys were caught completely off guard. They could not imagine that this small boy would be capable of dealing such a blow. Unable to take it, they ran away crying and moaning in pain. Before they were out of sight, one of them threw a stone at Rup. He did not mind. Anger had so completely dominated him that he was trembling in all his limbs. The inner cauldron had erupted and boiled over.
The young girl thanked Rup shyly for rescuing her and ran home. He hardly noticed her. He even forgot about seeing little Magi in her. His only concern had been for his own ego! The insulting word 'coward' still rang in his ears. He could not tolerate it
Once the explosion and all of its emotional havoc subsided, Rup became shocked at himself. Anger had wrenched control out of his hands and had taken over the reins. He was unable to understand how it had happened.
What kind of person am I? Am I capable of such anger? I couldn't even stop myself. What to do with this angry streak?
No sooner had he prided himself on being in control of his fear than this incident came and showed him that anger and ego knew how to throw him off balance. It was natural. Not until he would know how to stand apart from the mind's inner weaknesses would he be able to overcome them.
At least he was cultivating a good habit – to take a moment or two to reflect on whatever he had just done. Often, too, he was able to laugh at himself.
One such occasion came when Rup accompanied his father to a wedding feast. On the table Rup's eyes took in the delectable spread of dishes. In particular, there was one which appealed to him more than the others. He could smell the aroma of the special spices the cooks had put into it. His mouth watered as he imagined himself tasting it.
At last it came time for him to eat. He helped himself to a big portion from that dish.
Yes, it is as delicious as I thought..
As he was congratulating himself on his choice, he had a second thought.
20