Chitrabhanu Man with Vision

Author(s): Clare Rosenfield
Publisher: Jain Meditation International Centre New York

Page 67

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Rup went to him. He talked with greater depth and under- standing than one would ever have expected from a nineteenyear old young man.
“What you've done is done and the punishment cannot be abolished, but can you not now remember some divine name or some inspiring thought? This is what helped me get through all the tortures in this prison. Can you become a friend to yourself?” he asked him gently. The man cried out, “I don't want to die. I want to live."
"Yes, but now you have to accept this; at least can you not try to leave with peace?"
"How can I leave with peace? I love my life!" “Then how could you kill?"
"I was in such an anger, I was not in control of myself. I was controlled by fury. I did not know what I was doing when I saw my wife had gone with another man.”
“What will you do now? Now is the moment to feel peace.”
“No, now I feel death coming in every pore of my body. All my blood feels burnt out.”
Rup saw how pale he looked. The fear of death is bringing death to him sooner than the moment of execution.
"If there is God, He must help me,” moaned the man.
“At that time, why did you not ask — 'O God, help me control my anger and fury'? If you die in this agony and whining, where will you go?”
"I don't know, but all I know is that I want to live. I will be ready to do anything for life. I will be a slave, anything, only let me live!"
Rup saw his fear, his agony, his frustration. He could say nothing more. That day he watched him being dragged off to the place of hanging, he saw how pale and yellow he was, like a skeleton. He appeared lifeless, dead before time.
A glimpse came to him.
Making scars in somebody's life, you are not going to heal anybody's scars. Violence can only breed violence. If violence is your means, then violence will return to you in the end.
Now he realized that by his having taken part in the violent phase of the Freedom Movement, he was responsible for
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