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Aptavani-2
Renunciation There are two kinds of renunciations (tyaga): Renunciation through the ego and natural and spontaneous renunciation; renunciation that is evident as natural conduct.
In fact, the ego is inherent in the very word 'tyaga' i.e. to renounce. Renunciation cannot be achieved without the ego and that is why one will always have the belief and awareness of 'I renounced'. This belief will always remain, whereas when renunciation is natural and spontaneous, such awareness does not remain. One has conquered renunciation when one does not even think about things that need to be renounced. What is the meaning of natural and spontaneous renunciation? The true renunciant is one who does not even think about renouncing. It is when one is not reminded of his worldly possessions. True non-renunciation is when there is no trace of any acquisition (parigraha) in his mind. In the path of liberation, there are no conditions that one has to renounce (tyaga) or acquire (grahan).
One only needs to renounce two things in this world: The ego (I am Chandulal) and mamata (this is mine). Nothing else remains to be renounced when these two are renounced.
The Lord has said that when a person renounces due to the unfolding of his karma (udayakarma), it is not the renunciation of vitaragata (non attachment). It is the unfolding of one's karma that makes one fast, makes one do samayik etc., but he claims, 'I did it'. Everything that the prakruti (non-self) makes you do forcibly is dependent upon the unfolding of the karma. When the prakruti makes you renounce, how does it benefit your soul (how is going to help you in liberation)? That
is not called renunciation through vitaragata. Renunciation through vitaragata is an internal renunciation; in this one will not have the intoxication (keyf) of 'I did it. Whereas in renunciation, due to unfolding of one's karmas, he claims 'I renounced'. There is nothing but ego in such renunciation and it causes tremendous intoxication. The intoxication of renunciation is very subtle and one which a person cannot get rid of, even through intense suffering. So then how can he attain moksha with such intoxication of ego? Moksha will be attained by those who are not intoxicated and definitely not by those who are. The intoxication of an alcoholic is better than this intoxication, because in the former, it will come down when you pour water over his head. People are hopelessly caught up in tyagavairagya (renunciation and dispassion towards worldly life), but moksha is not that easy to attain.
Renunciation is that which does not give rise to attachment (moha). The renunciants are merely caught up in their inner attraction (murchha, moha) for renunciation. How can you call that renunciation? Renunciation is for the one who has great courage. It is something that comes from within, it should be natural and spontaneous; it cannot be contrived. True renunciation is when there is no inner tendency to renounce or acquire. True renunciation is that in which the renunciant is not absorbed in the renunciation or the acquisition (I am Chandulal and I am doing the renouncing or acquiring). That which is commonly referred to as renunciation, is renunciation with the aim of internal renunciation, nevertheless it is not true renunciation
An ascetic used to sing everyday, "Tyaga cannot last without vairagya." (ie renunciation cannot last without dispassion; vairagya) So 'we' asked him, "Maharaj, and what would vairagya not last without?" Maharaj said he did not know. 'We' then told him, "Vairagya does not last without inquiry, critical thinking." This statement is applicable to the Kramic path. It is a very arduous path, in which one moves back and forth
