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24
A LOVER OF LIGHT AMONG LUMINARIES : Dilip Kumar Roy Next time, Dilip Roy requested Sri Aurobindo on behalf of Dr. S. Radhakrishnan to induce him to contribute an article on philosophy to be included in a book of philosophy Radhakrishnan was going to bring out in the West. Dilip Roy tempted him to care for the publicity he might have in the West. Sri Aurobindo wrote
“As to Radhakrishnan, I do not care whether he is right or wrong in his eagerness to get the contribution from me. But the first fact is that it is quite impossible for me to write philosophy to order. If something comes to me of itself, I can write, if I have time. But I have no time... And the second fact is that I do not care a button about having my name in any blessed place. I was never ardent about fame even in my political days.... I am perfectly 'rational', I assure you, in my methods and I do not proceed merely on my personal dislike of fame. If and in so far as publicity serves the Truth, I am quite ready to tolerate it, but I do not find publicity for its own sake desirable."18
Sri Aurobindo did not contribute any article for Radhakrishnan's book. but he wrote plenty of letters tirelessly to his disciples like Dilip Roy himself for years together. This was baffling to the reason of disciples, although he claimed that he was perfectly 'rational'. Perhaps he was interested in shaping the lives of those who came to him, not in approaching general public yet unawakened to spiritual need just for publicity and personal vanity.
Sri Aurobindo's patience, Dilip Roy found, was limitless. When he began to stay at the Ashram, he found his guru remote because he had decided to live in seclusion and guide people through correspondence. Once Dilip Roy determined to end such a sterile relationship with his guru in which there was no possibility of having direct contact and guidance from his guru. Very patiently, Sri Aurobindo explained to him not to do so:
"It is quite impossible for me to dismiss you or consent to your going away like this from us. If the idea of this kind of separation is possible to you, for us it is inconceivable that our close relation should end like this.... I can only appeal to you not to allow yourself to be swept away by this attack, to remain faithful even in suffering to your soul that brought you here and to
believe in our love that can never waver..."!!
The author knew that his impulsiveness and impatience was his shortcoming, and that it was wrong of him to trouble his guru with such letters of restlessness. He also found that his gurudev always remained patient to him. So, once he wrote to Sri Aurobindo :
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