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A LOVER OF LIGHT AMONG LUMINARIES : Dilip Kumar Roy Q. : What did you think at that time ? Was it not the kind of doubt he had
towards the guru ?
A. : No, I don't think. He doubted the guru never. But there was a time when he
was in a sort of divided mind about the Mother. Q. : Yes, that's true. A. : At that time, I don't know towards the end, it changed again, but there was
a period when it struck me as absolutely illogical to think that Sri Aurobindo was a great person with a powerful, incisive intellect and who made the greatest mistake of his life to put in the Mother as the centre of his work. The two things are not compatible. You see, if you have so much reverence for Sri Aurobindo, you try to understand why the Mother formed the centre of Sri Aurobindo's work. And to see that Sri Aurobindo made there the
capital mistake was very irrational. Q. : That's true. A. : I have heard, recently, I heard that he had become mellowed towards the
Mother towards the end of his own life. Is it true ?
Q. : I mean.... I haven't read so. In his autobiography, I didn't come across such
statements, No. A: No! Then he unmellowed remains. Q. : Somewhere he writes in his autobiography that after the departure of the
Guru, the place does not become very pleasant to the disciple. That's what he writes somewhere. So I found that it was difficult for him to accept the
authority of the Mother in the Ashram. A. : Well, he was in a divided mind as regards her. Q. : Was it because of this reason only that he left the Ashram in 1953?
A. : I don't know why exactly he left the Ashram. He was travelling in the West,
in Europe and America and at that time I had heard from him. You know, I spoke to the Mother that-I said that I had the feeling that he won't stay long in the Ashram. (The) Mother said. “I also feel like that." Then Dilip came and stayed here and we all had appearance that he was not quite at home.
So he apparently once asked : "Why do you think that I would go away from the Ashram ?" I said: “I never told you that, when did I say it?"
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