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Q. Though he was a close disciple of Sri Aurobindo, he always tested his patience by posing a number of questions and doubts. What was your reaction at that time?
A. Doubt about what?
Q. About his spiritual capacities.
A. Not about others?
Q.
No, no... about himself.
A.:
Yes, he was a doubter. He was a doubter about himself.
Q.
Yes, about his spiritual experiences.
A. Spiritual experiences... His peculiarity he has written in a book. In his approach he did not accept Sri Aurobindo as the Divine.
Yes, that is true.
APPENDICES
Q.:
A. He accepted Sri Aurobindo as the Divine avatar, but the Mother... he could not accept. He accepted Sri Aurobindo as a guru. His Divine was Sri Krishna. And he always questioned Sri Aurobindo: "If I am disliked in this aspect, I can go." So, Sri Aurobindo said: "No, if you accept me as your guru, you remain here. And if you want Sri Krishna, I would lead you to him. But you listen to me." He gave him assurance. But he could not listen to him. He had many personalities. You understand it. He has a personality of a...(inaudible).... You understand? If you have read his letters- "I do this, I do that" And he had a personality of a Vaishnav. Vaishnav, that is why he wants to see Sri Krishna:you can see, all these conflicts in him. So he could not harmonize. And he was a very staunch believer...(inaudible).... He could not stick to one thing for a long time. So, that is...(inaudible).... in his spiritual path. It was a great hindrance. He was a great personality. Of course, Sri Aurobindo allowed him as much in that as possible. And, you see, he said he had treated him as his son and as his great comrade. And he had said he had been with him for many lives, not today, and all that. What time you want to go, I won't allow you to. I have done so much for you, I have a right on you. So, in this way, from time to time, he advised a sort of mutual life. So what difficulty he had was, he was very impatient.
Q. Intolerant ?
A.
Impatient. But he had a great love for Sri Aurobindo, very great love. So, he could not remain, I should say, it is Sri Aurobindo who took him up, as you say, who kept him here. And after Sri Aurobindo's passing he lost that support. Still he tried to remain here and do the Yoga; but he couldn't..
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