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DISCOURSE 34
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the night. This is a parity not of purity but of impurity. If the girl has renounced food in the night, she must marry only a man who does not take food in the night. In the same manner, if the bride-groom does not eat food in the night he must marry only a girl who has renounced food in the night.
If the wife does not take food in the night and if the husband takes food in the night, conflicts will arise between them always. The wife may take her food before the sunset and keep food for her husband in a plate separately so that he might take it later. But a man does not like normally his wife taking her food before him. The husband generally wants his wife to take her food either with him or after he has eaten food. But of course, it is a different matter with sensible and noble people. "It is my misfortune that I have to take food in the night. My occupation is such that I cannot take food before the sunset. It is certainly good if at least others in the family do not take food in the night”. How many people are there who think thus ?
A certain woman was there whose husband was a pedant. Before marriage she was not taking food in the night. After her marriage, she used to take her food before sunset, and she did not take food in the night. One day, her husband said to her, "What great Dharma is this? Which is great Dharma ? Is it to take food before your husband takes his food or not to take food in the night ? A woman who adores her husband takes her food only after her husband has taken his food. If you adore me, you must not take your food before I do". He is a great master of doctrines, is he not? He himself commits the sin of eating food in the night. He persuades his wife also to commit the sin of eating food in the night. If his wife, does not abide by his advice, he says to her, “You do not love me. If you really love me could you eat food before I eat food?” Even then if his wife does not eat food in the night, he says, “You need not keep any food for me. I will take my food outside, (may be in a hotel)”.
If one conflict of this kind arises in life, many other conflicts originate from it. On account of a difference of opinion in one matter, many other differences of opinion arise and such differences of opinions bring about misunderstandings and when
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