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DISCOURSE 35
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their daughter-in-law keep conversing in the Punjabi language, they will keep blinking at them, wondering what they are saying. They may even suspect them of saying something against them. "What are they talking about ? We hope that they are not saying anything against us". They may think thus and there may arise a conflict or a misunderstanding between them and their son.
At least, the husband should know all the languages that the wife knows. If the wife knows Punjabi and if the husband does not know that language, he may suspect his wife when she speaks to someone in Punjabi. He may suspect her thus, "What is she saying to that man in Punjabi ? I hope she is not speaking of love". That too man's mind is generally suspicious. Suspicion soon arises in the mind of a man regarding his wife.
The husband and the wife would feel extremely happy when they can converse with each other in their mother-tongue rather than in some other language. If the mother-tongue of the husband and the wife is the same and if they converse in that language, it will be easy for them to understand each other. They cannot understand each other so easily in some other language. If there is the parity of language between the husband and the wife, it will be easy for them to carry on conversations with the other members of the family and with friends and relatives. If they have to speak with them in a different language than theirs, sometimes difficulties will arise in understanding what the others say and in communicating their ideas to others. Therefore before marriage you should give attention to the parity of languages.
The author of the grantha has prescribed the need for the parity of lineage, family-traditions and purity. The commentator prescribes the parities in respect of financial status, dress and language and I believe that three other parities also are essential between the bride and the bride-groom. At present, the entire structure of social life is changing or we may say that the structure of the social life has disintegrated. In this situation which is fraught with conflicts and contradictions
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