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This idea is also present in Buddhism also with the changed terms as – Upakeśa and Muditā. Upakeśa means ignoring evils where as muditā is the spirit of happiness. These virtues promote friendship. Ācārānga says that purisā tumnameva tumaṁ mittań, kií bahiyā mittamicchasi, means 'Oh man, thou art thy own friend, why are you seeking outward friendship.' In other words man himself is his best friend, because he knows well his deficiencies and their remedy too. None can understand better a man than he himself understands. In the story of Jājali Tūlādhara, 6 Tūlādhara says, Oh! Jājali, he who becomes a friend to all people or who is engaged in doing good to others by means of action, mind and speech, only he knows religion.
Psychological impact of friendship In our Indian society the concept of higher and low, rich and poor, happy and unhappy, superior and inferior is well entrenched. A master feels difficulty in treating his servant gently. But he takes great pride in speaking softly and sweetly with people of his own status. Such notions have affected a great breach in social contacts social and human relationship. We seem to have forgotten that through love and goodwill and pure and holy sentiments, a man may be so awakened and inspired as is not at all possible through severe regimentation. Jaina scriptures warn us by saying that "what you desire for yourself desire for others too; what you do not desire for yourself, do not at all desire for others too. Courtesy, gentleness softens everyone"7
Anger the cause of enmity: Enmity is caused by anger. Among the internal foes which constantly try to destroy a man and confront him at every stage of his progress, anger occupies the prime place. It represents weakness of mind. It is the anger which converts friendship into mutual distrust and hatred. Almost all the scriptures contain episodes wherein anger has resulted in the total destruction of the families. Man is not even aware of what is he doing when he is in the grip of anger. The tendency to take revenge is more devastating. Hence, utmost restraint is required and when anger is provoked, it is better to ignore the root cause of the embitterment and forget what is happened. It is easy to return good for good but it is sublime to do good for evil.
5 Acārārga-sūtra 1/1/3 6 Sarvesam yah suhrn sarvesăm ca hite ratah/ 7 Brhatkalpa-bhāsya, 4584
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