Chitrabhanu Man with Vision

Author(s): Clare Rosenfield
Publisher: Jain Meditation International Centre New York

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Prelude
Even before meeting Gurudev Shree Chitrabhanu for the first time, my heart was dancing. Intuitively I knew that this was to be a blessed occasion, a meeting between a seeker and a finder. It was at a retreat Gurudev was leading at Wainwright House that I met him. In the first talk, his very first sentences touched my most vulnerable point.
"Fear is like an empty house," he said, "You don't like to go near it. It feels haunted, lonely. Love like a full house. Whether you hear laughter or tears, it is alive. You feel the presence of living life. Yes, fear is absence and love is pre
sence.
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When the impact of those words struck me, my real inner search began. I started investigating myself, "Do I feel absence or presence? Am I living in fear or in love, in lack or in plenty?" That evening Gurudev led a "gliding meditation." I gradually became aware of a warm friendly energy vibrating and melting my heart. All of a sudden my mind interfered and plastered an impression of fear on top of the experience. My meditation came to a halt. Afterwards, I asked Gurudev how I could overcome this habit which prevented me from going further into meditation. His answer has stayed with me ever since.
"What happens when you dive into a pool?" he inquired. I did not know.
"You come right back up!" he exclaimed joyfully.
It was the gist of his message. Don't be afraid, he was saying. When you meditate, dive into the Self! When you open the eyes, you will be with yourself. No loss, no withdrawal from life, no duality. Such a liberating point of view, yet so difficult to implement. That thought took me out from my slumber. It made me re-examine every aspect of my living. It inspired me to take an honest look at myself and to be
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