Self Realisation

Author(s): Shrimad Rajchandra, Govardhandas
Publisher: Shrimad Rajchandra Ashram

Page 12

The Self Realization
memory refused to do so and I was helpless. By cooperative understanding if my memory could be persuaded to open its treasures to the world by putting them in writing, I shall surely do it in future. I give below a very brief recollection of my early life.
For first seven years I played alone. I still remember to have cherished a wonderful imagination in my mind. Even in play I had strong desire to be victorious and to be the lord of everything. I aspired to be a great man of a resigned nature. I had no attachment to wearing clean clothes, selection of good food, good bed etc. Still my heart was extremely soft. I still recollect that side of my nature at an early age. Had I had at that time the discriminative knowledge which I now possess, I would not have more cared for liberation. It was a life of such spotless innocence that I love to recollect it very often.
For four years, from 7 to 11 years of my age 1 devoted myself to study. At that time I remembered all what I once saw or read. My recollection was faultless, as my memory was sinless. As a boy I had no idea of fame, hence the bugbear of publicity never bothered me. I had unique retentive memory which I find very few men even to-day possess. Still I was indifferent to my studies. I was given much to talking, play and merrymaking. Because of good memory, my teacher was pleased with me as I used to recite all what I once read before the teacher. At that time I was full of affection and natural sympathy towards all around me. At the same time I preferred solitude. I learnt that a spirit of affectionate brotherhood was a key to family and social happiness. If I found a separatist feeling or behaviour in anybody, it used to pain me very muh and my heart was crying. In my eighth year I used to compose poems which at a late age I found to be very well done.