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Sugandha: Sweet Fragrance
never allowed herself any form of slackness, and taught the young that jñāna does not consist in words, but first and foremost in the judicious use of time, precious time that must not be wasted but must be used for the maintenance of a constant state of concentration. She furthered her tapas through fasting and mauna (silence); as regards svādhyāya, having little formal education, she had studied by heart, and would often repeat, sundry passages of the Sūtras.
During the last five years of her carthly pilgrimage, from the age of seventy-nine to cighty-four, she was constantly ill. At this age when physical strength diminshes, Sadhvi Bālu, assailed by piercing pains, not only patiently endured the suffering but transcended it in a state of great lucidity. She did not wish to undertake the absolute fast, for she said that her way was to live ever more and more devotedly until her last breath, just staying among the sadhvis. The sadhvi who had the special charge of caring for her during these years said that she was a true "artist", who knew how to mould hearts and spirits through the simple maxims she used to utter.
625
She lived with intensity a Jaina form of samadhi: bheda-jñāna or state of full awareness, recognition of the essential difference between atman and deha, the body. Muni Nathamala had taught her this form of japa: ātman bhinna, śarīra bhinna. She repeated this with such conviction that after a while she spoke of her body, which gave her such pain, as being bhinna, other, distinct. She had reached, there is no doubt, a very high degree of the awakened state, which enabled her, while still conscious of the suffering, to rise above it. Sädhvi Bālū remained conscious and in the same state of fervour till her Great Departure which, on such an occasion, is called samadhi-maraṇa, bodily death in the state of samādhi.
Sadhvi Śri Lādām 84
84 This sub-section draws upon Samṁghamitra, 1973.
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