Life of Shrimad Rajchandra

Author(s): Manu Doshi
Publisher: Manu Doshi

Page 46

Empress Victoria. As such, if there happens to be the slightest contradiction, it would slur the character of the man aspiring for such a state. I am showing all such seemingly imaginative thoughts only to you. The heart is full of wonderful thoughts, but you are there and I am here!" Wednesday, the 10th day of dark half of Posh V.S. 1944 (a date in January 1888).
Shrimad was wedded to Zabakbäi, the lucky daughter of Popatbhai Jagjivandas Mehta on 12th day of Mahä in V.S. 1944 (sometime in February 1888). About a year after that he writes in an article under the title 'My thoughts about woman':
"With utmost calm and cool thinking, it has been seen that unobstructed happiness lies in pure enlightenment and that itself is the abode of rapture.
The concept of woman being the source of the highest worldly happiness is the result of shrouded perception; really it is not. The sign of deriving happiness from a woman is not even worth vomiting, when examined with discernment. All the despicable objects are lying in that body and that is the place of their birth. Moreover, that happiness is momentary, distressing and resembles the disease of scabies. That scene, as portrayed at heart, causes amusement as to what type of illusion is that! In short, the happiness does not lie there. If there be any, try to describe it fully and you will find that the concept of that happiness arises merely by virtue of fantasy. Here, I am not out to describe the limbs or other parts of woman. The purpose is to point out that discernment would not allow the soul to be attracted there. The fault does not lie with woman; it lies with the soul. Once that fault is removed, what the soul perceives is wonderfully blissful. As such, my highest desire is to be free from that fault.
"If the internal purity is achieved, it would be possible to consume the previously acquired deluding Karma from time to time. This is an experiential statement.
"Since, however, the previously acquired Karma prevails with me, which is the way to gain the peace? While pondering over it, I have come to the following conclusion....
"I have absolutely no intention to maintain attachment or resentment towards the wife. But I have refrained from practicing that way on account of previously acquired Karma.
"My intent for the wife is one and the practice is different. From one angle it has been accepted to avail of that for some time. On the whole, there prevails a sort of affection cum disaffection. The problem is that when there is no desire, why does the previous Karma drag me there? Not only that, but on that account disgusting objects have to be seen, smelt and touched. That generally leads to a state of anxiety."
About his married life Shrimad has written to a person in 1890:
"You know that I have been married in this life a little more than two years before you. During that time I have not come in too much contact with the wife. Still I have mostly been able to make out her physical, verbal and mental attitude; and I can say that our relation has not been unsatisfactory. The purpose of mentioning it is that the experience plays a major part in depicting the nature of married life. On account of the experience that I have gained, I can state that as my married life has not so far been unsatisfactory, so has it not been even satisfactory enough. It is of the middle type. My objectivity has been instrumental in maintaining it that way.
"While deeply thinking about the spiritual philosophy, it is considered more advisable to be free from the homely life, and that discernment had indeed arisen here. On account of the highly undesirable times and due to unavailability of the right saintly contact, that discernment had to be subsided with much sadness. Actually, if that could not have been done, the life of this writer (Shrimad) would have come to the end."