$JES 983 Being Jain In College An Experiential Guide 2nd Edition

Author(s): Sonali Vakharia
Publisher: JAINA Education Committee

Page 23

ROOMMATES AND DORM LIFE
When moving into the dorm for the first time, how can we express our concerns and habits with new roommates without making it awkward or starting off on a bad note? Whenever my college graduate friends move in with a new roommate, they now know to sit down together on Day 1 and lay everything out on the table in a comfortable way. My friends ask the new roommate what their pet peeves are, if there is something they like done in a certain way, and if they have any needs which should be met. And, then my friends reciprocate and tell their new roommate what bothers them, etc. It really helps to lay this all out because knowing what is important to the other person makes each one more likely to be more respectful, aware, and conscious of their actions. Do not make it sound like you're making rules, and be cool about it. You could start off the conversation with, “How about we discuss what bothers each of us so that we can be respectful and conscious of those things and make our transition smooth. You can go first!" Remember, everything is about effective communication. Speak respectfully and straightforwardly! But, be careful and follow your gut when you are sharing all this information. Also, if you don't feel comfortable doing this on the day you move in, you can bring this up in your own way at a later time, when you feel more comfortable around your roommate. Again, there is no "right" way to deal with a new roommate, but this is a viable option which is highly dependent on your roommate's maturity level.
Compromise You will also need to compromise at times. Why? Because you can't have a "my way or the highway" attitude. You are both human beings and will inevitably have a difference in opinion or preference at some point. Try to find a middle ground. For example, if your roommate likes to listen to loud music, you could let them know that you are totally fine with loud music (you can go to the library and study instead), but that you like to sleep around 11 pm so you'd appreciate if the music could be turned down after 11 pm. Or, let them know that you're "cool" with having friends over, as long as it doesn't turn into a full-fledged party while you're trying to study. Again, do not make it sound like you're making rules! In almost all cases, if you're flexible, your roommate will be, too. However, if there is something that really bothers you, go ahead and let your
BEING JAIN IN COLLEGE