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Spirituality in Speech
should not be inflicted.
In our culture, people of lower caste use physical violence to hurt each other, while those of higher castes use words to hurt one another.
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Words, which hurt others, are called inappropriate words. People take on a grave liability when they use such words, even casually. Pleasant words used casually, on the other hand, are beneficial. People are not brave enough to use inappropriate words with a policeman or someone with authority for fear of being reprimanded, but they use such words freely with those at home because they are not afraid of the consequences. The policeman would indeed teach you a lesson, but who would teach you a lesson at home? Should we not learn a new lesson?
Questioner: What should I do in my business when I get angry when the person I am dealing with does not understand?
Dadashri : In business it is important to speak up or say something for the sake of the business. But there too, to not say anything is an art; a lot can be accomplished in this way in your business also. But that art is not easily learnt, it is very refined. In business you have to fight and whatever you gain, you have to evaluate and deposit in your karmic account. But you should never fight at home because they are your own people.
The art of silence is a very difficult art to master. It is difficult for others to learn.
This is how you can practice this art: Before even the person comes in front of you, you have to communicate with the pure Soul (shuddhatma) within that person. Doing so will calm him down and then all you have to do is remain silent. In this way you will accomplish your work. This is a very brief explanation I am giving you on this art; it is very subtle indeed.
The vibrations of a single harsh word will linger for a long
Spirituality in Speech
time. When you use harsh words, you are committing violence with your intent (bhaav hinsa), which is considered violence against the soul atma (within hinsa) the other person. You should never utter harsh words, only pleasant ones. People forget this and they quarrel all day long.
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There are two types of spoken words in this world, bad words and good words. The bad words cause bad health and good words render good health. When people say, "You are unworthy", the word, 'You,' is innocuous but the word 'unworthy' is very harmful.
"You have no sense!" When you say this to your wife, these words are very hurtful to her and they are also unhealthy for you. When she responds, "You are useless," you both will become unhealthy. One is looking for sense and the other is looking for usefulness! This happens everywhere.
Married couples should not fight with each other. They are bound to each other through their karmas, so they should try to work towards freedom from these karmas.
Once I asked a lady if she ever fought with her husband and she told me she never did. I was astonished that such households still exist in India!
"Surely there must be some conflict between you and your husband," I persisted.
"No, but sometimes he taunts me," she said.
Taunting the wife is equivalent to caning a donkey. Men do not cane their wives but they taunt them instead. I asked the lady what she would do when her husband taunted her.
"I tell him that the effects of our past karmas have brought us together and that is why we married each other, and therefore I have to suffer the consequences of my karmas and you have to suffer the consequences of your karma," she replied.
