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Spirituality in Speech
Spirituality in Speech
Dadashri : There is no problem in cautioning him, but you should know how to do it. You should know how to tell him.
Questioner : How can we do that?
Questioner : Once you become a father, is the toddler going to leave you alone?
Dadashri : Do you think they will leave you alone? These little 'puppies' live their entire lives watching their parents. They observe their father constantly 'barking and their mother 'biting' The father cannot refrain from 'barking', so ultimately he is the one everyone blames and the 'puppies' will side with their mother.
I once told a man that if he did not treat his wife well, his children would take revenge on him when they were older. Children take note of everything when they are young and when they grow up they seek revenge. In some cases, the son would physically assault his father for abusing his mother; as a small child he had vowed to take revenge. Such vows are so strong that even if he stands to lose everything, he will not rest till he takes his revenge. Is this point not worth understanding?
Questioner: So everything is the father's fault?
Dadashri : Yes, it is entirely father's fault! The fault lies entirely with the father. It is when the father is not qualified to be a father, that his wife defies him! This only happens when the father is incompetent! So eventually, things are settled with physical force. For how long can one succumb to the pressures of society?
Children are mirrors. From them we can see the extent of our mistakes.
Questioner : What if we take a vow not to speak?
Dadashri : The vow to remain silent is not under your control. However it is good to remain silent.
Questioner : If someone were doing something wrong, it is our duty to caution him. How can we resolve the matter if we end up hurting him when we caution him?
Dadashri : What happens when you tell your child, 'You are stupid; you are an imbecile.' Does he not have an ego? What if your own boss were to say to you, 'You are stupid. You are a donkey. One can never caution in this way. You should know how to caution people.
Questioner : How can we caution him?
Dadashri : Sit down with him. Then gently explain, "We are from the land of Hindustan. Ours has been the culture of Aryans, who never hurt others in their life. We are not barbaric people. If you use this tone and speak with love, he will listen. But you use an abusive approach. How can it work?
Questioner : Children here are very argumentative and when we talk to them, they tell us, 'Why are you lecturing us?'
Dadashri : Yes, they argue a lot. Yet, if you teach them with love, then the arguments will decrease. These arguments are the results of your own mistakes. They argue with you because they simply cannot forget all the times you have intimidated them. That is why they argue. Not a single child argues with me because I talk to them with true love.
My voice does not have a tone of authority or a trace of ego. If you talk to a child there should be no hint of authority in it.
Dadashri : So why don't you experiment this yourself, according to my instructions?
Questioner : What should we do? Dadashri : Just speak to him with love and affection.
