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THE DYNAMICS OF MEDITATION
communicating, becomes a watchdog. “With whom is my friend now?” it asks. Inside you experience jealousy, competition and a burning sensation when you know that your friend is a friend to somebody else. You are not able to live comfortably, but you are not able to let it go. In this conflict the pressure builds.
When you are a little older, you begin the search for employment and decide how to earn your living. There also, competition and pressure are created. Before you go for an audition or job interview, you know how much tension you build inside. When you fail at an interview you become depressed. You start rejecting and neglecting yourself, thinking, "I am worthless.” Instead of seeing the situation as it is, you start blaming yourself. You start seeing worthlessness in yourself and you go so far down that psychological tension builds up in you. Old sayings of your childhood and old thoughts come to your mind. Yes, your father or mother told you that you are nothing, or your teacher or neighbor criticized you. Because you did not get the job, you start believing that these old thoughts were right, that you are wrong, and you begin to doubt your self-worth.
These are all the psychological, emotional and social tensions that accumulate around your consciousness. When you reach adulthood, you have additional problems and anxiety from your spouse and your children. You feel obligated to keep your family happy. You always have to be at your best to see that they enjoy a happy mood. If you don't, there is friction and demands from your children or
from your partner. Then you have your emotional needs to , gratify, to release all this accumulation of tension. Your
