Adjust Everywhere

Author(s): Dada Bhagwan
Publisher: Dada Bhagwan Foundation

Page 8

Adjust Everywhere
Adjust Everywhere
Questioner : Yes.
Dadashri : Is that so? What do you benefit from quarrelling with the wife? She already shares your wealth.
suffering. 'Adjust Everywhere is my discovery. Whatever people say, whether it is true or not, we should adjust. If someone tells me I have no sense, I would adjust immediately by saying, "You are right. I was always a little slow. You just realized it today, whereas I have known about it from my childhood". If you respond like this, you will avoid conflict. They will never bother you again. If you do not adjust, when will you reach your home' (Moksha, liberation from the cycle of birth and death)?
ADJUSTMENT WITH THE WIFE
Questioner: How can I adjust with my wife? I have arguments with her. Please explain to me.
Dadashri : Your wife is upset with you because you are detained at work and come home late. She expresses her disapproval by shouting, “You are late. I will not put up with this anymore." She loses her temper, so you should say: "Yes dear, you are quite right. If you tell me to go back, I will. If you tell me to sit inside, I will sit inside." She will respond, "No, don't go back. Just rest here quietly." Then you tell her, "If you tell me to, I will eat supper or else I will go to sleep". To which she will reply, "No, have your supper." This is adjustment. In the morning you will get a hot cup of tea. If you had become irate, she too would have reacted in a disgruntled manner and the next morning she would shove the teacup at you in anger. Her sulking would continue for the next three days.
Questioner: The husband wants to eat gulabjamoons (sweet dish), but the wife makes khichari (rice with lentils) instead. Therefore, they quarrel.
Dadashri: Do you think he will get his gulabjamoons after they fight? He will have no choice but to eat the khichari.
Questioner: So he orders a pizza instead.
Dadashri : Is that so? Therefore, he loses both. He doesn't even get to eat sweets after all. Instead, he has to make do with pizza. All he needed to tell her was to make whatever was convenient for her. She too has to eat. She would tell him that she would make him whatever he wanted to eat. He could then tell her that he felt like eating gulabjamoons. Had he insisted on eating gulabjamoons from the start, she would argue and make khichiri instead.
Questioner : What suggestions do you have to stop these differences of opinion?
Dadashri : I am showing you the path: Adjust everywhere. If she tells you she has made kichiri, then you must adjust to it, and in other situations if you tell her that you want to go to satsang, then she must adjust to you. Whoever makes the suggestion first, the other person should adjust accordingly.
Questioner: So then Dada, they will fight about who is going to be the first to speak ?
Dadashri : Yes, go ahead and fight. However, adjust
EAT KHICHARI OR EAT PIZZA
What should one do if he does not know how to adjust? Should he fight with his wife?