Abundant Joy of Sentiments

Author(s): Yashovijay of Bhuvanbhanusuri
Publisher: Yashovijay Jain Granthmala
Catalog link: https://jainqq.org/explore/006793/1

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ABUNDANT JOY
OF
SENTIMENTS
Muni Shri Yashovijayji English Version: Malay Kantharia
Jain Educationa Intemational

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Abundant Joy of Sentiments
Muni Shri Yashovijayi
English Version: Malay Kantharia

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Dedicated To The great ascetic of
this age Gurudev BLATE SHRI BHUVANBHANU
SURISHWARJI MAHARAJA who has been constant source of inspiration in my spiritual journey, and my endeavours.
- Muni Yashovijay
ccccccccc
SDS
In the fond memory of Late Shri Ambalal Vadilal Nawab
Ву Mrs. Shantaben A. Nawab Family Dr (Mrs.) Kalpana Ashok Chokshi
First Edition : Vir Samvat 2529 / Vikram Samvat 2059 / A.D. 2003
Copies
: 1000
Price : Rs. 30/
Printed By: Shree Parshva Computers 58, Patel Society, Jawahar Chowk, Maninagar, Ahmedabad. Tel : 30912149

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Preface
Since ages of civilizations, written works have played very significant role in shaping thoughts, values, goals and human behaviour. These have played very crucial role in developing an individual's approach and attitude towards life.
Glimpses of Sentiments
Munishri Yashovijayji Maharaj Saheb, in his young age and a short writing span, has written many invaluable books. His writings are simple, lucid and easy to understand. His words come from inner recesses of his heart and touch the core of one's being. In fact, the writings of his three books - "FRAGRANCE OF SENTIMENTS", "GLIMPSES OF SENTIMENTS" and "ABUNDANT JOY OF SENTIMENTS" help devotees and real seekers in showing the golden, sunlit path of living. Words come from this great scholar, Munishri Yashovijayji in the form of devotional prayers. These words are precious as they come from his deep study, observation, self-introspection and profound mystic experiences. In a way, these writings explain very valuable Process of Purification, a revolutionary transformation of individuals. And that is the way to change the present society by establishing the Supreme Value System and living based thereupon. It is a method to melt, dissolve ego and merge oneself with the Supreme Soul.
Anyone reading these works with sincerity, purity and sensitivity, will surely experience the ultimate Bliss.
I am indeed grateful to Param Poojya Munishri Yashovijayji for giving me the opportunity to present this English Version.
In anyway if I have hurt feelings of anyone, I sincerely seek forgiveness.
2059, VAISHAKHI SUD TRIJ (AKHATRIJ)
4th April, 2003
Malay Kantharia

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THE WRITER'S FEELINGS
Gaining, knowing the essence of the Supreme Being - the direct experience is the ultimate goal. The instrument of realisation of Supreme Being is very profound, without any thoughts, the spritual silence. Without becoming totally free from the known, with an abundant joy to experience sentiments of the Supreme Being is not possible.
So long as one does not attain the Supreme Being, one has to remain neck-deep in the spiritual being in words; that becomes each sadhak's personal, essential duty. Because those who are experts in the Supreme Being of words only are eligible to gain the essence of the Supreme Being.
In the devotion to Bhagwan after inspiring the Supreme Being of the world, only the silence is iron-like. Otherwise, even the silence is fragile.
In the light of the Supreme Being what is glorified is the abundant freedom of joy only. In the company of the Supreme Being of the word, what is glorified, is abundant freedom of joy of the words spontaneously surrendered. The word and the silence ~ though apparentely they appear contradictory yet they are supplementary to each another. If you consider the word like a seed, then the silence could be placed as a tree. From a seed, there is a tree and from the tree there is a seed. From the words, the silence and from the silence there is a word.
If we get engaged ourselves in the talk with the Supreme Soul then only thought process about matters- materialistic becomes silent. And from such peaceful silence only, the word connecting with the Supreme Soul gets manifested. How unique and peculiar is the relationship between the word and the silence!!

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1) 'SHABDA BRAHMA' = A talk with the Supreme Soul. 2) 'SHABDA BRAHMA = A thought process expressing
surrender to the Supreme Soul 3) 'SHABDA BRAHMA = A caravan of words establishing
eternal relationship with the
Supreme essence. 4) 'SHABDA BRAHMA' = A jumping, rising fountain of the
soft words without any physical
attraction 5) 'SHABDA BRAHMA' = Very brightly glowing, tremendous
pure mirror of words reflecting the
Supreme Soul. 6) 'SHABDA BRAHMA = Very intensive desire to know, to
hear and see manifested form of the Supreme Soul full of Truth,
Beauty and joy 7) 'SHABDA BRAHMA' = Reflections in the mind, +
Destruction of evils + Cleansing of
virtues + Joy of the Soul. 8) 'SHABDA BRAHMA' = intensive eagerness to get merged
with the Supreme Consciousness. 9) 'SHABDA BRAHMA' = A chain of words taking near the
pure conciousness. 10) 'SHABDA BRAHMA = Beautful devotional words without
any kind of noise. 11) 'SHABDA BRAHMA = A tape containing ointment giving
coolness in the form of sympathetic words, spiritual feelings of the heart to the consciousness burnt by the fire of separation from the Supreme Soul.

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ABUNDANT JOY OF SENTIMENTS
A devotee, whosoever taking the team of the abovementioned players fights against Bhagwan with spirit, fervour, courage and bravery for him the light of the Supreme Soul is not very far.
While taking a dip in the Supreme Being of the words, whatever invaluable gems and pearls have been gained, with the grace of many obliging Gurudevs, I make whatever possible efforts to present them here. The class of people following Bhagwan, the devotees and other people eager to know Bhagwan, with the medium of this book, becoming experts in the supreme Being of the words experience the essence of the Supreme Being; these are my hearty good wishes to all.
PARABRAHMAMOORTISHREE
GURUPADPADMARENU NEMINATH JIN DIKSHA KALYAN DIN MUNI YASHOVIJAY SHRAVAN SUD 6, V.S. 2054, JUNAGADH.

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ABUNDANT JOY OF SENTIMENTS
INDEX
.............
.........
........
1) You can not hate.... 2) Your silence is not helpful to me ............ 3) And thus spoke the Supreme Power......... 4. Never there be the death of remembrance. 5) MY 'SADHANA' is for your search
........................... 6) Have you got hunger of devotion? or are you .................
begging for your devotion? 7) What kind of helplessness is this? ... 8) I got Bhagwan's address ...........
........... 9) Realisation of hearty sentiments ... 10) Have you got a heart? 11) Wanted your companionship ........................ 121 Mysterious horoscope of compassion ... 13) A new wonder... 14) Let a cat of intellect does not come across 15) You know a tale of misery
......... 16) A claim or the truth? 17) I want to be robbed off if you are a robber 18) You are the water in a fountain of feelings .................. 19) My intimate anxiety. 20) On the fifth step there gets manifested the .....................
Supreme Soul 21) Once having perfect 'Darshan' of the self.
everywhere perfection62 221 We live as Ram wishes.
..................... 62 23) A wide-spread forest fire and a sea both at a time......... 64 24) Come on, let me go to meet
...................
41
............
.......... 67

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ABUNDANT JOY OF SENTIMENTS
.70
85
25) That responsibility is yours .. 26) A line of difference between Bhagwan and a ...........
devotee 27) Like creation, Dispersion is also essential................ ...... 75 28) Wonder of a request and a need..... 29) I have worshipped and also challenged.......... 30) Meets me in the depth of my mind, Bhagwan!......... 311 To become a victor of the world you make me .........
VICTOR of the lord of the world. 32) When a flower will become a garland?............ 33) My biggest confusion ... 34) Whatever I give you to keep is investment. All .............
other things are troubles 35) You keep mirror of speech before my sentiments ...... 95 36) Even a stone melts 37) Despite rowing oars, no progress ............ 38) I have started your search .....
.... 103 391 Not only you, I am also disgusted ...
........ 104 401 For that reason, I talk to you.
106 41) What is superior? Bhagwan's love or devotion ......
of a devotee? 42) Mysteries of life quite strange ..
....... 111 43) With a deer, a lion's fight! 44) I do not know my own language
........ 115 45) Am I included or not?...
... 117 46) All names- places- work at your feet
........... 101
109
..173
119

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19
At

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ABUNDANT JOY OF SENTIMENTS
:1: YOU CAN NOT HATE
Oh the sea of affections! I am coming running down to you. On my own, I come enthusiastically. I come without caring for the world. And daily I come with new encouragement. There is only one reason for that. Your company is giving me incomparable experience of intimacy. It gives me experience of pious coolness of the sandalwood. I want to meet you with only my soul as witness. I want to meet you never to get separated. I have only one eagerness and thirst in my mind; only to meet you and embrace you forever; for getting merged with you, getting melted with you, getting dissolved with you. Oh Lord of the world! If it is essential to get released from this world to meet you, then I may inform you that I have already left the world. Thave removed all kinds of clothes of pomp life like a sixth finger. I have also removed a garbage of desires. Everything which was called mine, I have left and thereafter, I have come to you. I have left everything now and you just can not hate me. Now for accepting myself, the responsibility is of only yours.

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ABUNDANT JOY OF SENTIMENTS
I have come to touch your feet and surrender completely. To achieve means of uniting the soul with the Supreme Being e.g. means of spiritual practice, to dissolve your separation. Without yourself, remaining fallen down from 'YOGA' I wish to gain your eternal, unbroken acquaintance. From a room of the soul I want to reach you. I want to know your mystic form. Oh Idol of Mysteries! You kindly give me vision to know your mysterious secret. You show me your new-novel, unique, pleasant forms. There is no meaning of remainig so far and becoming cruel. You give me an opportunity to move joyfully in your grand wealth of virtues. You show me your incomparable grandeur form beyond any description; so that I can join with it my string of unity. Without you, strings of my musical instrument have become discordant. Without you everywhere I find terrible tranquility and the silence of a funeral place. in separation with you, I, myself, have become clumsy, improper, awkward, inconsistent. In separation with you, in your absence my own appearance looks abnormal- dwarfish-inferior- terrifying. Without you, in your absence even happiness becomes unbearable.
Oh Bhagwan!

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ABUNDANT JOY OF SENTIMENTS
In my life with vaccum if you kindly arrive then the fall season will get transformed into Spring; even darkness will become powerhouse of light.
A ditch will become a summit. Even a trouble will become an asset. Affliction will get converted into sentiments. Tears will become a smile Even a forest and a desert will become gardens giving coolness.
Indeed! your mysterious game is endless.
By your impact, even after manifesting your secrets also you remain the idol of mysteries Unmanifested and invisible! "There is nothing equal to your might." Even after telling this much how much remains unexpressed and beyond words! You, yourself, are beyond words and on the other side of words. Then how even dictionaries and scriptures can introduce the essence and the elements of your appearance, countenance? To introduce you, even words appear handicapped and paralysed. How then the words with clay feet have any capacity to talk about yourself? The darkness even if can introduce light even then words just can not introduce you as you are beyond words, You are without words, you are blissful, you are silence.
How talkative words can show or indicate the form of silence?

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ABUNDANT JOY OF SENTIMENTS
:2: YOUR SILENCE IS NOT HELPFUL TO
ME
Oh your kindself holding the vow of abstaining from speech! I have been talking to you since long. As if you are displeased or obstinate over trifles, you just do not give any response or any sign. As if by talking, speaking to give consolation to anyone is just in your nature. But today I am determined that I want to make you speak. As you remained obstinate to remain silent, I am now quite adamant to ensure that you speak. If your silence has no limits, then you take it that even my adamancy has no limits. And even my adamancy has no borders of time. It has a lot of patience. I can understand the language of your silence but I want that you, on your own, opening your heart, start to speak. Now your mysterious silence is not helpful to me. I just refuse to tolerate it anymore. Oh the resident of the region of the silence! From your mysterious world, you enter my world of talks. Leave your nameless form and adopt any name. Leave your formless nature and adopt some form.

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ABUNDANT JOY OF SENTIMENTS
Leaving your nature of being formless, shapeless, become an incarnate I just do not have any capacity to recognise your silence-nameless-formless-shapeless appearance. Therefore I pray to you to adopt speech-name-form-shape. You just do not speak at all. But without any talk, I do not measure your love. Thave such shallow and inadequate measure-weighing-arithmetic that only if you talk with me, I can experience your feelings towards me. Please just to make me know that you can speak, atleast once you speak! I have full faith that you will definitely call me. I do not have confidence in others as much as I have confidence in you. Oh Supremely worthy of unstinted faith! Will you make my worth remembering faith eternally longliving? Will you give me 'Darshan' at least once? Will you please call me? Will you kindly remove whatsover shortcomings have 1? Thave unstinted faith in you that you will after transforming my all shortcomings into all wonders, give me 'Darshan', you will call me, Should I not keep faith in you? Will you please not lead me from darkness to light? I keep faith in you, I keep confidence in you.

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ABUNDANT JOY OF SENTIMENTS
:3: AND THUS SPOKE THE SUPREME
POWER
The Supreme Soul : Child! If there is faith, it is full; not inadequate. You may be having faith in me when the circumstances are favourable, in adverse circusmastances, you may have doubts. At convenient time, you may have confidence, but when there are inconveniences you may have doubts. In the days of happiness, you may have faith; at the painful night of unhappiness, you may have doubts; when the fortune is on rise, you may have confidence; when the sins are on rise, you may have doubt; when everything happens as intended, your faith towards me may be overflowing and when your all assumptions go wrong; then you feel hanged in unfaithfulness. Then such faith, in reality, is not towards me but is because of favourable circumstances, conveniences, happiness, rise of fortune, achievements as desired; it simply indicates your intensive feelings towards those things. In the mirror of life there are innumerable, limitless reflections of your feeling towards wordly materialistic things of the outer world. Rather not like reflections but like carvings on the rockplates those feelings have remained stuck solidly, deeply. When each and every such thing considered to be meaningless will be removed, then only you will have my 'Darshan'. To meet me, you also will have to continue to get prepared.
Without full preparation on part of both the parties, such meeting Jain Educationa International

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ABUNDANT JOY OF SENTIMENTS
is not possible. By putting everything on my head a person shirking his personal responsibilities can never gain me anywhere. When I shower heartily, at that time you should not lose your art of getting wet, drenched. When I give you, you should at least keep your mind open. Isn't
it?
When I take care that while walking, you do not fall down; at that time atleast you should never commit a blunder of avoiding, neglecting my hand. When becoming the Sun Scripture I spread light of knowledge; at that time you should not ciose your doors and windows. When I bring near your mouth, this plate of delicacies of 'SADHANA' you should not commit a mistake of closing your mouth of awareness. Isn't it? If I give you food, atleast you must have hunger. Isn't it? I may give you water but you must have thirst. Isn't it? One can bring food from outside but hunger should be of your own.
Water might be of someone, but atleast thirst must be yours. Others may spread light, but one will have to open his eyes to see light. Isn't it? Someone may put a small portion of food in your mouth, but chewing and digesting are your responsibilities. You told me several times about conveniences-inconveniences, happiness-unhappiness favourable-unfavourable etc. But have you ever complained to me about virtues-evils, good sense-evil sense?

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ABUNDANT JOY OF SENTIMENTS
I tell you therefore that without complete preparation of both the parties, a meeting is just not possible. In preparedness whether the weakness is on my part or on your part? If you reflect upon it peacefully, then you will realise. Thereafter your complains about my silence, separation with you will stop. Continuous efforts for awakening of the soul will start. Then, without any complaint, the moment of the meeting will arrive. This abnormality of the distance between you and me will get removed. Therafter you and me will get merged into one. There will be unity; non-duality. But are you aggreable to what have ! said?

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ABUNDANT JOY OF SENTIMENTS
:4: NEVER THERE BE THE DEATH OF
REMEMBRANCE
Oh Crown on the pinnacle ! I am stunned hearing your reply. But now you also listen to me which I say. You do not understand that I remember you only when I do not like anything else. Reality is that I do not like anything except you. It is not even so that when I can not think of anything else then only I call you. In reality, excepting talking with you nothing else comes to my mind.
It is also not so that I devote only with words.
My words are simply a medium to express feelings of my heart, my good wishes towards you, to express my emotions. You who is also a mute for words of devotee make me speak. Therefore there are continuous genuine efforts to practice in life the words of devotion-sentiments.
I worship you; I devote to you. You keep alive my devotion, by my entry into the world. "I receive in sentiments, I swing." Instead of telling this, "you make me catch - make me swing."; this is more appropriate.

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Instead of "I am talking to you" "you make me talk to you"; it proves the eternal truth. Because I am irregular, with little knowledge, virtually ignorant. And yet whenever I like, wherever I like, how much as I like, I can talk with you.
That could be possible only if you call me!
I come across bondages of space-time-measure.
You are unbound completely. Only for that reason I tell you that you make me talk. If my talk is about conveniences let it be so and if it is of inconveniences then also let it be so. It is not important what I talk about But with whom I am talking is very important for me. When I am talking to you I become feathery like a flower. If you are on my side, then it becomes even easier to bear unhappiness. Your not being on my side, as per my mind, is the most unbearable thing for me. You are not a subject of imagination for me. You are reality. You are real for me. As you are on my side that is why I can write, can speak, can devote, can remember.
One last request. Never there be the death of your remembrance.

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Otherwise that will be only my death, in reality. You kindly understand this thing in a sign; I am telling this in a very low voice in your ears. I have no interest in my mind in eating and drinking.
Nor I have any interest in worldly name-fame.
I have interest only in your integrity.

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ABUNDANT JOY OF SENTIMENTS
:5: MY 'SADHANA' IS FOR YOUR SEARCH
Oh, the Supreme Being!
In reality, only you have been writing, writing and talking, talking;
I only with my cool mind, continue to listen you.
I continue to read you.
I continue to search your silent, pious, narrow path reflected in your words.
Even in the words entering in my ears, I search only for you. Everywhere, everyplace, any time to search you only is my 'SADHANA.'
You may call it 'SADHANA'or emotions, call it 'devotion or love, call it worship or 'ARATI', call it adoration or affection.
You call it whatever you want.
For me, to my mind, your search is everything.
My penance. repitition of name-renunciation-silence~learning~all are handicapped, if you are not involved.
If you also get involved, then even an imagination can become reality.
Speaking here and there also can become prayer, even roaming here and there also can become pious pilgrimage, even emotions can become 'SADHANA.'
Even the lust can get converted in devotion.
Even food can become devotional song.
Even a morsel can become salvation.

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ABUNDANT JOY OF SENTIMENTS
Even thirst can become solid satisfaction. Therefore, I tell My lord! Welcome in my each conduct-thought,speech. Mingle with each and every drop of my blood, breath and exhaleration. Then, I shall become like a rainbow; very attractive, worthseeing, golden, silvery created by merging of the sunlight in the vapoury water of the sky. Then, you will just go on seeing my wonderful appearance. But for that it is essential for you to come on your own and enter into each part of mine. Vapoury water does not give any invitation to the sun-rays, the Sun, on its own, ensures that its bright rays enter vapoury water drops. Oh knower of all! Kindly understand everything in my signs. To an acute one, only an indication is enough.

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ABUNDANT JOY OF SENTIMENTS
:6: HAVE YOU GOT HUNGER OF DEVOTION? OR ARE YOU BEGGING FOR
DEVOTION?
Oh hard-hearted ocean of compassion! Now I do not want to wait for you. I am very much tired of waiting, waiting. Since quite a long time I have been waiting for you. But then only if you want to come, If you wish, you come, otherwise do as you wish. How much hunger have you of love-feelings, devotion? I just do not know that. Even becoming Bhagwan have you this uncontrolled hunger of devotion?! Yes, if you are hungry of devotion I can certainly fulfill it. But I just can not satisfy your begging. Because the hunger is limited, Begging never has any limit, boundary Satisfaction of hunger can be made by efforts; begging is destined to remain forever unfulfilled, unsatisfied. I never imagined that you also will be unfulfilled, unsatisfied like myself. Howsoever I need you; you also should show some enthusiasm. Isn't it? With one wing can anyone fly? One just can not clap with one hand. Can one? A chariot can not run only with one wheel. I am indeed very much tired of this one-sided love affair.
"Now I do not want to wait for you." Jain Educationa International

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Even after saying so why my mind is becoming shameless for waiting beyond all limits? I just cannot understand that. You are stuck within my heart. You have been carved therin like a nameplate. Oh Lord! Why do you keep me waiting so far? You are not testing me or?! If you want to test, you may. I am not that one getting defeated, one getting tired; that is certainly not me. I know perfectly well that after testing you also give prestige, name-fame to a devotee. Only you and you only give warmth-consolation-affection. But how long you will continue to test me? At sometime, even you also will get tired of testing. But let this not happen that in passing through your numerous tests my small, soft, delicate, weak eyes get closed. Then you will regret it. Tell me; what is your choice? Do you want to take away my fatigue of waiting beyond all limits or do you want to live repenting the whole life after I leave this world? Choice is yours. I do not insist for a particular thing. Really speaking, what is the way out for you? You do not have any option but to accept me.

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ABUNDANT JOY OF SENTIMENTS
:7: WHAT KIND OF HELPLESSNESS IS
THIS ?
Oh you with bright lustre! Kindly give me 'DARSHAN' of your pure flame of the knowledge. You kindly manifest your world of the divine light. Now you spread the bright rays of your light in my dirty, narrow lane full of darkness. With the illuminating light of your knowledge I want to remove my darkness. Without that, it is just impossible to reach upto you, even if I talk to meet you. Very terrifying darkness of ignorance is so widely and intensively spread that I have not been able to know even myself. Then, how I claim of knowing you completely? Although I do not have strength I do not have capacity, I do not have competence, I do not have skills, I am confident about myself. I am roaming around in self-praising. You after your arrival here, show me in your divine light my weaknesses. so that instead of shouting aloud about flying in the sky; and stopping that I learn how to walk properly on this earth. The glory of your divine light has spread upto here somewhat. On its basis i get an idea that the days passed in a hospital were balancing the days passed in a hotel.

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The moments passed in slandering will have to be balanced by paying for polluted fortune, degenerated values, wicked instincts and sinful acts; I know this fully.
Becoming absolutely shameless and peeping with lust the game of opposite sex will take the dangerous, terifying pain- even of this I am not unaware.
For greed of the tongue and satisfying excited instincts of the mind, the heated sighs of many lives taken will not leave me even after becoming a goat and getting slaughtered by a butcher.
Due to glory of your knowledge I can well understand that someone's curse as a result of cruelty towards him will make me ruined, unconscious and disgraceful.
The misuse of the strength derived for your service adorationdevotion would not bring which undesirable condition is the real question.
How shall I worship you in that condition?
I have forgotten you even in favourable circumstances of power and conveniences; then in adverse circumstances of weaknesses and inconveniences, in worshipping, devoting, in righteous feelings and singing devotional songs how shall I be able to keep my mind fresh, joyful, free and pure?
If my helplessness goes to this extent would you like it? Will you make me so helpless? Crossing all limits?
I am dwarfish and you are Supreme.
Yes, at the peak of the summit!

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:8: I GOT BHAGWAN'S ADDRESS
ABUNDANT JOY OF SENTIMENTS
Oh Lord of compassion!
You are wonderfully expert.
You do not tell the road's name to reach you and you do not give your true address.
Inspite of that, since long I have been walking to search you. Leaving everything I continue to walk on that road.
Though I do not know anything about your path, I continue to walk.
It seems that limitless confidence in you is your path.
My path is right.
My trust will not betray me.
On the basis of unbroken faith I continue to walk.
But I do not have your address.
You may hide howsoever your address and make me roam, wander alone on the road, but this roaming, wandering will also end one day.
I shall remain only after finding you one day.
I shall not rest till then.
I feel that your continuous, unconditional waiting everywhere, your eagerness, and cravings- is your address.
By keeping full faith in you, without any limit patiently waiting for you; holding that I go on walking.
Your path does not come to an end and I can not even leave
it.
Oh Ornaments of my heart!

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ABUNDANT JOY OF SENTIMENTS
When you are with me, I constantly get warmth-heat. Since you are with me, I call my constant walking a pilgrimage. Otherwise it would be only wandering and roaming. Oh Omnipresent ! (All pervading God!) To walk is my responsibility. But to take care is your responsibility. You are near and yet how far! quite far! On Ocean of compassion! You are so cruel! You will have to meet me, surely How long will you hide yourself? Even in much darkness, I shall catch you. Because you are, on your own, glorious! That is why even with my weak eyes I dare to find you. You do not have any escape but to meet me. I have only one thing to say, you come, come and come. Once you meet me then----- You will not have any place to slip away. Then even your and my addresses will not be different. T have been calling you since long, I have been remembering. I do not remember having met each other. Yet your memory comes within me on its own. That is certainly a sign of our meeting sometime, somewhere. When an experience of which is not there, how could be memory thereof is possible?

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ABUNDANT JOY OF SENTIMENTS
Yes, only with this idea, I have been experiencing joy beyond words.
And, therefore, I have been walking so rhythmically with thrill and excitement.
Atleast once you reply me, when are you going to meet me?
Are you hearing me or not?
About that also I do not know anything.
But it seems to me that my cravings for you will become a raft to swim across the ocean of life.
Lastly, may I ask you one thing?
You also may not be liking of remain without me. Isn't it?
Without a devottee Bhagwan must be sad.
Then you remove that sadness. O.K. ?
You will be happy; I also shall be happy.
In houses of the both there will be golwing lamps, but are you ready to do that or not?
I just do not care to know about it.
Whether to reply or not, that is your responsibility-your duty.
My right is only to ask you a question from my pure heart. If want to reply, then reply; if you do not want to give, it is your
wish.
But because you do not give any reply, only for that reason my personal right of asking a question, I just do not want to leave. I shall go on asking you, asking you I shall make you tired. I shall ask till you get tired.
Getting tired till you do not reply, I shall ask you.

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You also think of your duty of replying at sometime. I do not want to be devoid of my right. But you also see that you do not fail in your duty; as if you do not hear anything. I just do not know whether I am talking to you or to a stone ? Should not one get response, reaction to his feelings ? How such dictatorship could be tolerated ? I make love to you and I also make quarrels with you; and I also do mischief with you. And also by getting you angry I also do wonders Isn't it ? | get you angry, harras you; that is also for pleasing you. | also reprimand you; that is also one kind of feelings towards you. Otherwise in every drop of my blood your name is mingled. Your name sharply carved does not allow me to rest. And therefore, without worshipping you, there in no mental peace to me. From the word of my worship as soon as I move, you enter. And therefore I call it worship. Otherwise it will become begging. Once when I got entry in your royal court, my appearance is changed completely. Not only photograph or fortune; but the total quality is changed. Now there is no good or bad taste of honour-insult of the world. There is no meaning in my slandering or of my listening 'STUTI'.

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ABUNDANT JOY OF SENTIMENTS
Ambition for power and temptation for position have receded; rather dissolved.
Once with your voice my voice is harmonised, balanced, there is no question of anything going off the tune.
How great your care and generosity are that you came and separated me from my false pride.
You finished my interest in slandering.
Now only I realise the glory of devotional feelings, deep devotional sentiments.

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:9: REALISATION OF HEARTY SENTIMENTS
Oh lover of the world! What a pathetic separation between you and me! You are 'Bhagwan' and I am a devotee. You are limitless; I am with confined limits. You are excessive; I am quite inadequate. You are very knowledgeable, I am quite ignorant. You are pure, pious; I am dirty and filthy. Since we are different, that is whylam talking to you to get united, How can we merge into each other? That is my constant burning question. I do not want such intensive 'SADHANA,' divine power or bookish scholarship
I simply want such devotion-prayers-sentiments which would merge me within yourself.
Therefore our permanent farewell to our separation. My creation-formation-nature-all are making efforts to reach very near to you. Now you let me realise "You are not different from me." | simply want only you, your company, and your pious shelter. Whenever I remember you, at that time only I feel that I am alive. Your remembrance, is my life. Forgetting you, is my death.

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I have been experiencing this live formula.
Only because of your remembrance I can get separated from this world.
From memory screen your exit, that is my separation from you. That is my death.
On the memory screen, your affectionate, spontaneous existence; that is your meeting, my life.
On the basis of this experience, spontaneously, continuously I have been coming nearer to you.
Naturally, open-hearted, spontaneously coming near to you is my sentiment, it is devotion, it is my worship.
Instead of getting confused in whirlpools of thoughts, instead of getting caught in the net of words, spontaneously I am reaching forward to you continuously; that is my devotion towards you, that is your worship; that is your pilgrimage.
To live in this world and to live in your company, only to make you live in my heart ~ this is the kind of my devotion, my loud shout of cravings and the light of prayers.
N
With you, living without any hypocrisy, with pure innocence, absolute clarity; and harmony - and thought processes overfilled by all these aborementiond things is my journey towards you
Near the worldly thought not by placing a coma or semicolon but by putting a full-stop and towards yourself the fall of unstopped feelings and emotions without any full stop; any coma or semi colon is only my faithfulness and loyalty towards you.
Like a stream flowing with dancing, enthusiasm, and continuously flowing silently like 'Bhagirathi' always remaining in your search, my mind is my capital.
My speed of coming near you, my good senses, my noble

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approach, my surrender- all these lead me to sublimation of my
soul.
I make to you a humble request that you kindly give me strength to remove contradictions, disharmonies remaining in heaps within myself. That is my devotion-prayer-sentiments towards you. As your nature is to shower upon similar nature of thirst - you kindly give me. Such demand is only my feeling towards you. Once, atleast once you give me an experience of our intimacy, by bringing me out from conflicts, confusion, worrisome nature, by giving me true, pure and proper direction to move from incompleteness to absolute perfection.
You take me to the stage when at every moment i realise your Supreme Power
I do not know why but though you are unknown to me, I have cravings of meet you. Everywhere I move, I go, I speak, I walk, I do not like anything without you. It is not that I mix with only you, I also meet eisewhere, I also mix elsewhere. But I do not know why but at all other places my approach remains superfluous. On no other person, my feelings are so limitless, so terrific, so intensive as I have those feelings for you. Upon you there showers the heavy fall of spontaneous feelings, sentiments.
Yet it is not understandable why you are not seen.

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Despite numerous, several efforts you just do not appear. That is my biggest difficulty. This is my complaint. In the life cycle, somewhere, sometime, someway, somehow you will meet me- believing so I convince my gloomy mind. You are not seen, you do not even listen to my request! I say that a cataract of eye, even an eye-surgeon can remove. But the cataract of the mind, excepting yourself who else can remove it? On Spiritual Surgeon ! Oh Creator ! Oh remover of all obstacles ! A cataract of greed-attachments - desires imbibed in me since time immemorial be removed by emergency. That is my last humble request. I have my selfish interest in that request. I do not want to tell anything more to you. Tam telling you all these because our relationship is of mutual understanding and joyful, quite pleasant one. Otherwise, I would not tell you even this much. I am waiting for your pious touch, the mysterious touch. Thereafter there will be without any season of the fall, with eternal gaiety, decorated with ornamental flowers, blooming with romantic atmosphere, the spring season of consciousness, the spring with pure consciosness; and the Spring Season of Super Consciousness. Instanly put your hand on my head. Only with your soft, sentimental touch my entire fatigue will run

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away. | shall get absolute peace. 'SAMADHI' of equanimity, unmeasurable, limitless beyond any words. Oh Caretaker of others ! Will you kindly understand my childish feelings, my sensitive sentiments ? Will you please ?

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ABUNDANT JOY OF SENTIMENTS
:10: HAVE YOU GOT A HEART ?
Oh One with extreme patience! I have been requesting you several times. Till now I have been melting. Now it is time when even you should have melted. You pardon me if there is a mistake anywhere. Now more than with myself, I am tired of you. There are some things which are not to be told. And those are to be understood, to be experienced by only heart. Not with words but with the language of silence that could be understood But for that the throbbing heart is required. Have you got such a throbbing, conscious heart ? Isn't it? Then why do you not understand signals of my silent talks ? If you cannot understand my sentimental soul then how could you be called the Supreme Being ? If you can not understand, recognise my internal, intensive feelings of thirst due to separation and consequent getting very eager and anxious then how could you be called knowing all? If after knowing about my afliction, you do not melt how you could be called merciful ? Your adjectives are also quite novel and unique. Your equations are also novel and quite different. But atleast you do something so that by my little intelligence all

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these things are set in my little brain. Either you make my brain and intellect quite expansive and broad so that you can get merged with it or could get understood; or you become so little, so small that you can merge into my insignificant brain or can be understood by my little intellect. I do not have any other option to make firm the faith towards you. Do you know? that our relationship has been there since long: and that was even before my birth. Atleast you honour this centuries old our relationship.
By crossing all my failures, you will have to remain with me forever, everywhere, everytime in shape of spontaneous SUCCESS. Otherwise I shall not call you 'Bhagwan', but I shall call you an absconder. This is not my but the question of our disgrace. Will you not think about it?

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ABUNDANT JOY OF SENTIMENTS
:11: WANTED YOUR COMPANIONSHIP
Oh great donor!
You have capacity to give everything and you have also generosity to give.
I know that.
But I am just not interested in anything else.
I also have a lot of things.
Even then if you wish to give, then I want only your hand.
In all circumstances, your hearty company.
Then even with unhappiness I shall fight teribly.
I belive, this is your pious path.
What move should I tell you my dear Lord!
Now urgently give me your company.
Without you I am an orphan.
There cannot be any greater fortune than getting your hand and your company.
To express my thanks to you, this is a very big cause !
And yet with reason or without any reason I have not shown my obligation to thank you.
Oh the best among people doing welfare of others!
You kindly pardon me for my this mistake.
You cleanse me urgently.
You give me some experience of your affection.

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Because of that I shall get much warmth. But I feel that I do not have even the right to get your warmth.
Because even after telling that "I have given you everything to keep with you," I behave as if I have given everything to me to keep that safe.
Once I give the entire reins to you, thereafter, I do not have any right to interfere in your plans and schemes of things.
Even then, without having any right, by doing something improper I might have put you in an embarrasing situation.
You kindly pardon me for this harrasment.
Many of my such peculiar behaviour you may have to tolerate.
Even if they are not convenient and not in good taste you may have to tolerate them.
All that you may know.
Only an injured can know, the pain of the wounded.
But you kindly make me wise by removing my madness of injuring you frequently; so that I do not repeat my mistakes and I transform myself.
You kindly give me pure, righteous intellect so that after giving you the reigns of a chariot of life I do not commit a sin of taking the reigns again in my hands.
Oh Lord!

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ABUNDANT JOY OF SENTIMENTS
:12: MYSTERIOUS HOROSCOPE OF
COMPASSION
Oh an incredible ocean of mercy ! Upon whom, your compassion descend and when, where and how? I just cannot understand anything about that. The horoscope of your compassion is also mysteriously uninterpreted. Upon some people you shower, almost constantly. Whereas some people die because of thirst for you in the pain of your separation, I do not understand your plans-talks.
I am unable to understand whether you are an outlaw or a watchman ? After showing to some people safety and security, you make them insecured.
And then, to some showing insecurity you make them quite safe and secured. Even beyond our imagination you create more favourable event and then you leave. Then, at times by creating more adverse situation and sending that in form of reply, you come more near. ArjunMali, Muni Gajsukumal, KHANDHAKSURI, Arnikaputra, Elaichikumar, Dyadhprahari, Goshalo, Chandkaushik, Nandishen Muni, Kandarik Muni, Kulvalak Muni .~ looking to the lives of these people, your large planning, project appears more and more mysteriously unresolved problem only.

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It is indeed very difficult to understand you.
Instantly, apparently what appears adverse may become favourable at a long time.
Instantly, apparently what appears favourable in a long run, may become adverse.
Essence for the severe fall can also become uplifting essence. Uplifing essence can also become the essence for the severe fall. on all sides there
In the name of progress, total destruction may be terrifying destruction.
And apparent destruction may also create self-development.
In the roots of all these things where and how you get adjusted; that I am unable to understand.
Looking to your large plans, it is experienced, that I am absolutely ignorant.
Knowledge of one's own ignorance; that must be the beginning of knowledge of the self-it seems so.
Really, after your 'Darshan', I realise now the limitations of my helplessness, meanness, poor condition.
Because in your idol, not of the idol but I have Darshan of yourself only.
In your Darshan I am also seen completely.
How do I look ? l-poor-mean-pitiable. !

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ABUNDANT JOY OF SENTIMENTS
:13: A NEW WONDER !
Oh Ocean of wonders ! I want to talk to you about one new wonder. I want to talk to you about such wonder beyond your imagination. You may, perhaps, not believe, not accept such is this wonder of the world. The thing which is beyond your imagination is that I like my acute worries, restlessness. I like this not because they are 'my' acute worries; but I like those acute worries, suffocation, miseries because they are for you. In the centrepoint of my acute worries neither myself nor any worldly material is there but only yourself is placed; this is indeed for me very invaluable and the most important thing. My cravings, eagerness, impatience, anxiety manifest such sentiments that you will like, on your own, to come to sit to reside, to reside permanently in the land of my soul and will develop a sort of an intensive attachment with it. What more fortune can I earn than this one ? Since you are involved that is why I call my miseries, my sentiments. I call even troubles, my pilgrimage. I call my persecuting, my entertainment. I call even my suffocation, my sweetness. I call even my confusion quite bewitching. Since you are at the centre I even in restlessness remain in absolute peace.

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Even from restlessness I get mental peace. Though I have cravings, I swing. You are knower of everything. You know all the three tenses. To talk to you more is like to talk with maternal family's history. It is like introducing the fragrance to flower, knowing all such things I remain silent. I go on smiling within my mind. Knowing that you do look at me. In my depth of the heart I get withered. Knowing that I just cannot see you. How long this simultaneous smiting and withering will continue in my heart ? how long ? Oh Supreme Being ! At least once give 'Darshan.' Kindly appear personally. Will you please not hear my requests which I have been making for years. I feel that there is an urgent need to transform your hard-heartedness into delicate sentiments. Only you do this. Thereafter for the remaining things I shall take care. Because in the end, I am your devotee and you are my Bhagwan. Isn't it?
But the question is if you will show innocence in becoming
delicate soft from your hard-heartedness ?

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If in myself comes some understanding, in yourself there comes some innocence, then there will manifest sweetness in myself, and I get my lost childhood.
Let there be oldness of evils and faults.
Then only our relationship can be established.
Give me such wisdom for that.
Manifest your Divine wisdom.
Since long I have been telling you; but you are not removing my madness.
What kind of your this innocence ?

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ABUNDANT JOY OF SENTIMENTS
:14: LET A CAT OF INTELLECT DOES NOT
COME ACROSS
My Lord ! I get separated from you to merge with you. It is not that I do not like other lives. But all those likes and dislikes create troubles in our meeting. When I leave all the kinds of relationships then only I can open with you, I can blossom with you, I can show sportsmanship. On many occasions it so happens that I get your sweet remembrance and everything automatically, on their own, get dispersed. The impact of your presence is incomparable. Oh Bewitching! Without any conscious thought when your remembrance comes that looks quite loving. That is why even while talking to you am I thinking about anything? In taking each step towards you thoughtfully there it appears mechanical Intellectual steps do not give any experience of reaching near you. In talking well-planned, I have to bring in the intellect. In my talk with you, I keep caution that it does not become a habit of the intellect to come everytime or even its shadow does not enter the mind. If a cat of intellect comes across, the entire game is spoilt.

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I like only the pleasant sound of a cuckoo of my little faith. Talking with you is greatly auspicious.. Because a cat of intellect does not do anything inauspicious, in my talks, in my writings I fill fully the feelings of my heart. Feelings are spontaneous, they are natural. As something comes in inspiration I speak, I write and go on doing that; and in my heart I make vain efforts in confusion. If nothing comes to my mind I sit absolutely silently, keeping a pen aside, in silence, I become still. Like you, I also remain silent but in my heart I have cravings to please you. Without knowing anything consciously, we become original residents of the region of the silence. Oh dear! Even for talking with you I have to make the mind, quite empty. Until Garbages of desires, old rusted materials of the false pride are accumulated in the mind, even a fine string can not be made harmonious with you. As soon as a cat of the intellect leaves the mind, all-luck, good fortune, auspicious happenings- on their own come near me. When the brain gets empty of the intellect, then the heart gets filled with you only. My talk with you is indeed my rebirth. Intellect and faith, both have habits to do as they wish. But more often, the intellect has become iron-like and has been defeating fragile faith. You make my faith towards you iron-like. You make my intellect weak and fragile. | shall take care of everything else.
Jain Educadorlaternational Jain Edvyle

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ABUNDANT JOY OF SENTIMENTS
:15: YOU KNOW A TALE OF MISERY
You Obstinate ! I want to see you but you do not want to be seen. I want to hear you but you do not want to be heard. I have been calling you since long. I shall speak; I shall go on speaking; until you break your silence. How far will you remain hidden from me ? Sometime at least you will let that happen. You will not be able to run away from here. I am the life of 'Bhisma-determination.' I am the life of diligent work. In this birth only, I shall gain you. This is my religious vow, penance, repetition of name. If you want to consider it my addiction, you may do so. If you want to consider it my habit, you may do so. If you want to consider it as my age-old bad habit you may do SO.
But I have only one desire, to have your 'Darshan.' Only for that daily I go on writing to you, talking to you. I do not want to bind you within boundaries of my words. But crossing all borders, limits of my words I want to merge into your limitless, boundless self.

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I cannot take far-off the limits of my words, the borders of my thoughts. I cannot settle in your absolute silence, in your thoughtless form. And that is a tale of my misery. I continue my efforts to make light my burden by telling a tale of my miseries daily, differently, to save myself from loud noise and a cyclone of the air of thoughts. I have been calling you. | constantly make efforts to remain lost in your thoughts. And at the most, what could be there in my words and thoughts? Only for separation of yours my childish sweet-sour feelings. To ensure that these emotions are manifested transparently, sometimes of words, sometime of silence, sometime of tears, sometime of laughter, sometime of thoughts, sometime of the state without thoughts, sometime of solitude, sometime of public life, sometime of faith, sometime of doubts, sometime of surrender, sometime of revolt, sometime of speech, sometime getting displeased of trifles, as per my mild intellect,. I continue my devotion Will you now wipe-off my tears ?

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ABUNDANT JOY OF SENTIMENTS
:16: A CLAIM OR THE TRUTH ?
Oh the knower of inner feelings!
Do you hear me or not?
Without caring for that I go on talking.
Keeping the trust that you do understand my talks; I go on talking wards even somewhat, at more or less degree all can understand.
But my silence only you can understand.
That is why I call you the knower of inner feelings.
If the mind puts its foot in any undesirable place, are you not the only one to stop it doing so?
In a river of dejection not allowing to get impure by touching of any evil thing; that also is only yourself!
My all acute worries I put at your pious feet; I surrender all that to you.
Should you resolve my worries or not?
That is your subject, not mine.
In reality before these worries or complaints reach you, they get evaporated.
Even worries get transformed into quite matured understanking.
For that only reason I do not keep any distance with you in my talks with you.
And you do not remain without putting an obstacle.
Even thorny boringness, in your company, becomes cool feelings of joy.

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How much your obligations are there upon me?
Nothing looks tragic!
Only for that reason there is so much craving to talk to you.
My attitude, instinct of talking to you on proper occasions or otherwise if you want to consider as skill then skill, if you want to consider as habit, then habit, if you want to consider an addiction, then addiction, if you want to consider as an attitude, then attitude, if you want to consider as fashion, then fashion if you want to consider as an intense fondness, then an intense fondness, if you want to consider as a hobby, then as a hobby, if you want to consider it as an intimacy, then an intimacy, howsoever you like, you understand it, you accept it.
But are you getting bored with my talking and writings? Is it so? Tell me that.
But why should you get bored of that?
Just like myself, how many people are there to talk to you opening heart before you ?
At the most people who could be counted on fingers. Isn't it? Otherwise there would be a large number of people in the name of prayers-worshipping-devotion there may be amorous or sensual enjoyment, and pompous begging.
I do not want to tarnish the image of others, because they are part and parcel of you.
I myself is a part and parcel of your goodself.
As you have been continuing to blossom; seeing that way I am near to you - can I not make a claim like that?
But is it a claim or the truth?
If you give its reply then only I shall come to know.

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Because "BAHURATNA VASUNDHARA" is this not your own saying?
I just do not know how an ignorant like me become so much talkative with you? With not having any skills or competence how have I become an expert in letter-writing ? Very lazy and not liking any kind of work how am I becoming so much pro-active while talking with you ? Without any dicitionary or treasure of words how am loverflowing with devotional, sentimental words? Very fickle and unsteady like me how do I become concentrated - in the state of an intesive attention ? Oh Creator ! Your pastimes are innumerable. Your compassion is wonderful. Your plans are mysterious.

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ABUNDANT JOY OF SENTIMENTS
:17: I WANT TO BE ROBBED OFF, IF YOU
ARE A ROBBER
Oh loved one by my soul! My fasting eyes since long are waiting for 'PARNA' of your 'Darshan.' When will you give them an opportunity ? My both eyes have been thirsty for your 'DARSHAN,' hungry for it, craving for it. Without your 'DARSHAN' what is the meaning of having such eyes? And see this. Even ears are awaiting eagerly to listen your sweet musical voice forever. But if your music cannot be heard then what is the meaning of such ears? My both hands are craving to embrace you, to bring you near my heart. My heart also is craving eagerly to shower its affection upon you. My feet are dancing with steps of joy leading towards you. Only missing thing is your auspicious arrival. I feel that now you will have to come surely. You will have to give me 'DARSHAN.' Without you, at the doors of my eyes, ears, hands and feet if there are knocks of dejection only, then what is the future ? Oh Lord of my soul !

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My strength, skills, reach, and needs ~ Do not continue to test all these. You come down from the summit of freedom, leaving all hesitancy, you manifesr yourself completely in the temple of my mind.
Your silence without any indications, creates more and more worries, more and more remorse. Your secret non-appearance also daily creates deep confusions and worries. Your separation makes me more and more anxiously eager. I am getting sawed between the doubts and the faith. I just cannot bear this condition any more. "Whether you are there or not?" In its witness-debate or evidence ljust do not have any interest, whatsoever. Only you, yourself give me an experience of your being by your appearance-only that is my request. My eyes have pain after waiting for so long. My tongue has gone dry by continuously shouting for you. My hands and a pen are extremely tired after constant writing. My mind is withered remembering you. My fingers are tired by counting beads in repeating your name. My feet have no strength left to stand after running here and there to search you. But now atleast you also should understand somewhat. You also should understand meanings of emotions-feelings - devotion.

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You also must experience pains of separation.
At least at sometime should there not be response to soft, delicate feelings of the heart?
Without that I am not at peace with my mind.
A flame of repetition of your name is burning, and in this manner, the time is passing away, in playing the game of "Hide and Seek."
ABUNDANT JOY OF SENTIMENTS
Days, Months and Years pass in this routine manner, running jumping flowing, slipping like a stream of water.
Oh Great Treasurer !
I do not want to ask anything on seeing you.
In fact I want to give you everything I have to keep with you.
I do not want to keep anything now with me.
In reality whatever I have got, all that is yours.
After getting merged with you I, myself does not belong to me. Then how can there be anything belonging to me can remain mine?
Oh Lord!
On all those things I now do not want even to keep my right of ownership as soon as you meet me I want to dispose-off everything; if you are the robber.
I do not want you to get tired by my shouting and complaining. With surprising face I have come here to offer at your feet a gift of smiles.
I do not want to make you miserable by giving you a bite of serpent-like demands to satisfy desires.
Oh the lord of the poor!

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ABUNDANT JOY OF SENTIMENTS
I want to get you drenched in the fountain of unselfish feelings. By breaking the wall of the false pride, ego I want to develop humility, the state of ego-lessness. I want to merge my mettle with yours, I want to transform my consciousness from being living on the basis of intellect to living on the basis of devotion towards Prabhu, forever the objective of arrival in this world only can be fulfilled after meeting you. If you meet me then only my birth can be considered meaningful. if with your mind I can bridge harmony only then my birth can be considered worthwhile. Oh my Prabhu ! It is felt that till now there is not my birth. But my lord ! Kindly see that my entire life does not pass in a womb. Otherwise a blemish of not meeting your devotee will be upon you only. You know that !

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ABUNDANT JOY OF SENTIMENTS
:18: YOU ARE THE WATER IN A FOUNTAIN
OF FEELINGS
Oh Large Ocean of feelings ! You are the divine power and I am a person, a human being. I understand this reality well. And that is why daily I talk with you something or the other. I love you and I also quarrel with you. I want to love you, I want to quarrel with you and after quarreling with you, I also want to repent. There is altogether a different kind of joy, in playing, in joking, in adamancy and in fighting. Becoming like a chariot of a summer of 'VAISHAKH' I want to get you exhausted like a deer. Should you not know what is heat and thirst ? Only after experiencing the pains you can feel my pains and sentiments. I trust, thereafter on your own, you will come to meet me. In a balcony of waiting, with making my eyes full of concentration Thave been standing there since quite sometime. Thave been searching you on all four sides if you are somewhere near. If you make me to miss you and run away I shall not be at ease. Oh Lord ! Ocean of mercy! Please you do not do so. I have faith that making my eyes transparent, you will appear therein.

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In the fountain of my feelings you, yourself being pure, clean, cool and sweet spread.
In colourful designs of my emotions, you on your own becoming different kinds of colours you will be filled in those designs. You awake such eagerness to see such wonders in yourself. Yes, then you will have to come to me.
At my indications, you will have to get mad.
As I tell you, you will have to do everything.
Althout free and yet you will have to become a prisoner of my heart.
How wonderful and unique our relationship is there !
In our relationship there is only pouring of our feelings on each other like ceremonious sprinkling of water.
And that is why between us there is relationship of jokes and mischiefs.
That is why I play with sportsmanship with you without any trickeries.
Each and every moment, nothing else but I only do repetition of your name.
That also quite natural, spontaneous and from depth of myself. Because when someone is emotional then he can be only natural!
I am your devotee, emotionally devoted to you.
And that is why in any meeting with anyone I enjoy you.
Even in separation, I recognise you.
Meeting-separation only seem to be apparent names.

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Otherwise, in my heart there is only sweet tinkling of repetition of your name.
In my hands, in my heart, on my lips, becoming quite adamant, I only repeat your name.
And with that, daily I create your new and novel names and forms of yours.
I create new decorative, attractive dresses and ornaments in the lotus of my heart.
That also without any expectations.
Yes, I have one expectation from you, my lord! That you never ignore me, never avoid me.
I only try to bring your face, near my eyes, my pupils.
I paint you, your beauty as per my understanding.
In that way I come near and near to you.
To come near you, I do not now feel any need to go away from my own self.
Because, you and I at the end are only united.
Is there no non-duality? If I do not remain present here in my own form, how will you be able to merge yourself within myself?
Though the duality is a reality, I only want to experience unity of the forms, the unity of the souls.
I shall always, everywhere take care of yourself and myself and shall also protect.
By doing that I shall create not discord or dishrmony but harmony.
My being is absoluty essential.
Your arrival is welcome, is essential.

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Therein, perhaps, if you see anything ugly, disorderly, clumsy, then that part you kindly remove from myself. If meaningless things are removed, then only the meaningful can get manifested. Isn't it ?! For that reason I cleanse the palace of my heart daily with my warm tears. If you arrive, then only you will be able to see how clean, how pure, how pious they are ! Oh my lord ! Atleast now you come ! Now it is time for such auspicious occasion. My darkness of ignorance has been waiting since the time immemorial for your arrival. My thirst of gaining you, just cannot be fulfilled without you. Whatever the distance is there between the thirst and the satisfaction, you kindly get spread in that vaccum. I have only this request to you.

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ABUNDANT JOY OF SENTIMENTS
:19: MY INTIMATE ANXIETY
Oh Supreme Soul ! How should I recognise you ? How can I ensure that you are near me ? You do not have any form, any appearance which I can see with my eyes. You do not have any word that I can hear you from ears. You do not have your own fragrance that I can recognise with my nose. You do not have any peculiar touch that I can recognise from the skin. You do not have any sweet-sour taste which I can taste with my tongue. You do not have any special sign by which I can know you. Oh Lord! All my five senses have become blunt to understand you. My heart with its intersting attachment for worldly materialistic things is unable to recognise you, and my mind to recognise you, is absolutely weak and poor in skills. With the support of logic to know you is absolutely impossible. Then how should I know you ? Scriptures- religious treatises and books also do not reveal anything about your form which is beyond words. You do not have any body. Then how even your shadow could be obtained ?

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You are nameless. Then by which name may I call you ? You are formless. Then how to have your 'DARSHAN? You are beyond thoughts. Then how can I think about you ? You are without any comparison. Then by which similie can I recognise You ? You are beyond imagination. Then by which medium of imagination can I gain you ? My entire materials and equipments are hadicapped and absolutely weak to search your essence. And if I do not meet you personally how can I tell you tales of my heart? There not even any method of communication by which can ensure reaching of my message to you. You, the best of Saviours ! You just do not meet me. But even whosoever has met you, that one also does not meet me personally, so that I can inform you about a tale of my heart. What should I do? where should I go ? How should I shout ? loudly? or call you in my whispering voice? Really, in every way, I am totally helpless. I am without any kind of support. I am indeed an orphan. You can certainly understand my weakness-my meanness. And yet you do not give me any guidance. Now only you show me a remedy, so that I can gain you. I can ensure your merging with me. Oh my lord ! Will you not show me a remedy?

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:20: ON THE FIFTH STEP THERE GETS
MANIFESTED THE SUPREME SOUL
The Supreme Soul:- Child ! You weave your life in five stages to gain me. Thereafter, there never will be any separation between you and me. Then forever we both shall remain united. First of all, your appearance should get changed. Your body dependant on decoration of ornaments and pomp, fashionable hair-styles and clothes, your facial expressions showing anger and excitements of raw instincts, eyes with hunger for lust, your ears hungry to hear self-praise, cruel thought processes, your tongue only roaming in search of tasty delicacies, your intellect full of selfishness, your heart with all kinds of worldly attachments, your bright teeth trying to attract others, uptodate outside pomp and show, arrangements of the imported items, attachment to colourful people and materials ~ all these are elements of obstacles for meeting me. A 'SADHAK' who comes forward to meet me just cannot have such clumsy appearance. To me, only one can come who does not have any blemish of pomp, whose hairs and clothes are simple, whose face is always pleasant, the eyes are without any evil, whose ears are always busy in hearing praises of others, whose thoughts are quite sober, whose tongue is not a slave of your instinct of eating, whose intellect is in habit of doing good for others, whose heart is simple, and he should not be painted with colours and with ornaiental decorations to attract others; only if one has such

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simple and grand appearance, then it could be called the first step for coming near me.
After gaining such divine appearance atleast at the second stage your conduct should get transformed.
"Be as oiher one is," "reply to a brick, with a stone", "If we become as others behave, then only we can live in a place," "A ghost deserving only kicks, does not understand by talks," ~~ instead of such worldly ways of conduct, the noble conduct e.g. "Even by taking poison himself, one should offer nectar to others", "even getting worn out like a sandalwood, I shall give others, coolness and fragrance only", "even becoming a burning flame of light I shall spread light on the path of others', should be put into practise in one's life. In reality whosoever comes under the impact of 'JINSHASAN which is beyond the materialistic world, will not have very poor appearance and in life his conduct would be beyond worldly, materialistic conduct. Pouring with unselfish love, full of spontancous sympathy towards others, full of warmth and light sympathetic approach, overflowing with innocent affection, overflowing with compassion towards others and getting reflected in work of welfare of others, blossoming with fragrance of frank friendship, overflowing with proper generosity, with fragrance of a fear of sinful activities, ~if all these things get woven in such life with a fine discretion, beyond the wordly materialistic conduct then only it can be considered that one has taken a step further to reach the second stage. After divine appearance and the conduct beyond this materialistic world, in the third stage the intensive desire should get transformed. The success, the meaningfulness of the conduct beyond this materialistic world remains in the rising of noble, intensive interest attitude, approach in such noble things.

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The intensive attchment to materialistic things prior to attainment of 'JIN SHASAN' should go away and the intensive interest towards the soul should get cultivated.
Approach of gaining happiness should go away and approach of gaining more and more virtues should get cultivated, Instead of an approach of gaining pure fortune of very noble deeds and total destruction of actions should be cultivated; and that should get completely realised.
In place of slandering of others and self-praise, an aim of attachment towards virtues + praising of virtues should get stronger, instead of stopping someone with some adverse remark and an approach of breaking others, in their places Stillness, Steadyness + inspiration + enthusiastic encouragement these things will be there in foundation of new wonderful, intensive interest for total transformation of your life.
Instead of eating, in giving food to otheres, eagerness to perform penance, instead of pampering the body, by medium of 'SADHANA' extracting the real essence for the noble cause, instead of easy work, choice of noble deed, virtuous work, instead of the end of any work without obstacles, the intensive desire to complete any action or work unblemished, instead of pleasing the apparently seen world, an intensive desire to please unseen lord of the world, instead of improving actions only, an intensive desire to transform basic raw instincts, instead of making efforts to remove adversities, the strong desire to force the laziness to get lost, instead of making outer things strong, to give tremendous strength to the inner energies to gain more and more righteous, virtuous things; feelings of blossoming beauty of the soul rather than feelings to beautify the body, Instead of power, strength, the demand for purity, instead of peace, concern for 'SAMADHI', if in this manner your approach for the transformed world is cultivated then and then only you can gain me.
For comming near to me, this can be called the third step taken.

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When such divine appearance, the noble conduct beyond this materialistic world, and an approach beyond this lower world become pure, stronger and unblemished, then, there would also be iransformation of the nature. With pure, pious culture, the intensive, unsupressible, pure interest, removing dirty, evil, mean coverings of the soul manifests pure, pious, brighty shining light of the soul. Thereafter disturbed soul becomes healthy, cool, composed. The mind gets settled in the soul. Roaming, wandering, unstable, fickle soul gets steady. The disturbed soul becomes peaceful. The soul attached to the lust becomes pure, without any evil. The crooked soul becomes simple. Any extrovert soul becomes an introvert soul. A soul with attachments becomes a ascetic one. A soul attached to delusions becomes devoid of that. An arrogant soul becomes humble. A rude soul becomes cool, composed. An egoist soul becomes egoless. A disatisfied soul becomes fully satisfied soul. An ignorant soul becomes knowledgeable soul. In this manner, the transformation of one's own soul sublimation. purification can be considered the fourth step for coming near to me.
In this manner the nature of the soul itself after becomes cleanpure only in the fifth stage the form of 'SADHAK gets transformed.
Taking a fifth step towards me, 'SADHAK' soul with its actions gets

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manifested the form totally free from actions After destroying short-lived, perishable form, it takes the eternal form without body, without any disease, without any old age, 'SADHAK' attains forever immortal form and remains so. Leaving name-form it attains nameless-without form-invisibleunseen form. Without 14 GUNASTHANAK', Without 'LESHYSTHANAK', and even without 'ADHYAVASAYSTHANAK' - such form of the soul beyond words remains eternally, immortally manifested. In this absolute, unmixed soul there is not even a wave of thought remaining there. "KARMATIT,' 'DEHATIT,' 'YOGATIT,' 'VICHARATIT, 'KSHAYATIT, 'LESHYATIT,' 'PUDGALATIT, 'SHABDATIT,' the form of such soul is " SACHCHIDANANDAMAYA.' Pure, perfect light and the bliss that is the only original, immortal, eternal form of the soul. Pure consciousness which is without any difficulty is the original form of the soul. Child ! Then one has to remain in bliss of such wonderful, incomparable form of the pure soui. At that time neither in you nor in me there will be even a small degree of difference in respect of words or in respect of any kind of peculiarity. At that time we both shall live only in unity, in non-duality. And that also forever, eternally. T have explained to you the utmost secret talk even amongst all secret talks of great scriptures, in very easy, simple and lucid manner.

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How wonderful is this journey, a pilgrimage of five steps !
Very grand appearance
Noble conduct beyond this materialistic world
Quite safe intensive interest
Nature without any evil
The best form in the people.
Now taking jumps like a deer you take these five steps, cross these five stages then there would be nothing left worth-doing.
Whatever is achieved, will be manifested.
That will be already having been gained.
Child!
Now do not delay it.

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:21: ONCE HAVING PERFECT DARSHAN OF THE SELF EVERYWHERE PERFECTION
Oh my lord! I am surprised to hear your talk. I am really stunned. Now I feel that instead of searching you, it is essential for me to search myself There is no other alternative but to have "DARSHAN' of one's self rather than 'DARSHAN' of the world or the lord of the world. In the vicious circle of deception- treachery - fraud- intriguestrickeries- deceit- illusions- delusion-bewitchment etc. it is indeed very difficult even to know myself. Without seeing one's own self critically perfectly, 'DARSHAN' of the world or the lord of the world is incomplete. Only after having 'DARSHAN' of the self 'DARSHAN' of the world or of the lord of the world may be found perfectly sweet. After seeing, observing perfectly one's own shortcomings gaining of absolute perfection can become possible. Observing of an absolute perfection in the self creating intoxication of false pride leads towards the road of total destruction. In observing perfection in the self leads towards imperfection. In obsering shortcomings in the self leads towards perfection. But in the self 'DARSHAN' of imperfection should be perfect; not imperfect. 'DARSHAN' of imperfection in the self not in respect of expectations

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about materialistic weaith; but looking from the angle of the treasure of virtues. In the self 'Darshan' of perfection can create perfection, but that will be 'DARSHAN' of original perfection of real perfection of the virtues and the righteousness. My lord, All this philosophy i am not telling you. But in your company these things come out spontaneously. DARSHAN' of your perfect grace upon me makes me aware about perfection of original virtue. Imperfection appearing within myself because of evils also with the descent of your grace with virtues shows perfection, complete perfection. "Without your grace, I am incomplete of, the virtues; even such 'Darshan' of the self also leads one to near total perfection. "With your grace, I am perfect with virtues". Such 'Darshan' of the self also slips one towards complete, pure, perfection When you come near me, anywhere, anytime, anyway all things around appear pleasant, tranquil, sweet. You leave and everything looks incomplete Therefore never go away from me, oh merciful!

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:22: WE LIVE AS RAM WISHES
Whatever my eyes see, whatever my ears hear, whatever touches my hand, whatever my tongue speaks, whatever my hand writes, whatever my mind thinks, all these are yours. I agree to it. For that reason only everything seems to me good and loving. I do not feel anything of yours untasty, salty, soury, astringent or incomplete. Even in pain, affliction, miseries, troubles also the sense of belonging to you keeps me quite vigilant, alert and cautious. It stops me from becoming detracted or unconscious. Even adversities ~ adverse elements also look beautiful. Because that also is the best medium to come near you; that is the best instrument. Even in adversities you develop some essence. And in favourable things you show the real element. Purity of the essence and nourishment of the element both lead me near you. Therefore I can enjoy in all circumstances. "Whatever happens, it is for good " "We live as Ram wishes" ---- Such sayings also must have similar meanings. Isn't it? Wherever, whenever, whatever. logic-illogic-argumentpresentation- defence - without any support of such things remaining constanly in your remembrance to forget the entire world, this is invaluable, sure and simple remedy.

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Now in any of your plans- intellectual regarding speechregarding body, without any kind of interferance I want to approve everything.
Whatever you say, whatever you do whatever you do not do - all those things I approve from my heart.
In your yes, my yes and in your no, my no.
Just like faithful, loyal wife I also want to follow my lord only.
Now onwards you remain in your freedom of joy, I remain in abundant joy of my freedom and in you I merge with joy.
I have only interest in you, only thirst for you.
That only appears nice to me. All other things are uninteresting.
Talks with others only become luxury of speech.
Now in talk with you my each breathing is surrounded.
I have an intensive attachment with you.
I crave for your cool shadow.
I want to leave attachment to materialistic worldly things and their pleasure.
And you spread your immesurable, eternal, immortal impact upon me.

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:23: A WIDE-SPREAD FOREST FIRE AND A SEA BOTH AT A TIME
Oh! The more powerful energetic!
Why so much eagerness and an intensive desire to talk with you must be arising?
For you why such thirst, cravings, search and inquiring? For your company why so much eagerness?
I just do not understand anything.
Repetition of your name also is quite different, very wonderful. Vibrations arising out of repetition of your name create heavenly humming.
In that I get an experience of a wide-spread forest-fire and a sea at the same time.
That gives burns as well as coolness.
Since you are absent, I do repetition of your name.
If you are present near me I would make only love to you ! Why then, repetition of name?
Repetition of your name being the proof of your absence gives me burns.
But repetition of your name is also a sign of your being present somewhere.
If anyone is not there anywhere, anytime, anyhow why should one do repetition of that name?
Remembrance of your name being an indication of your existence, that gives coolness.

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Sometime repetition of your name also removes off my form of certainty,it is felt so.
Sometime it is experienced that words coming out in your devotion also rubs off the deep silence of emotional surrender to yourself.
At times, sounds of your prayer and sound of sentiments also appear a kind of bondage.
In devotional strings of emotions a constant waking also seems burdensome to my eyes.
Decorative arrangments of words are certainly not the sentiments. The silence without any thought; the great ocean of silence; more than this there is not any superior worship.
Yet I call you by thousands of names; that is only too much caring for you; it is mere pampering.
Till one can achieve competence and skills to take a dip in the large ocean of sweet, eternal silence to save oneself from getting spoilt by this dirty, worldly puddle with foul smell even to take a dip in the Ganges of repetition of your name does not give less happiness!
When repetition of your name becomes very intensive then I do not find any difference in a meeting and in a separation. Intensity of remembrance, to my mind, is realisation.
In your separation, though I may look a beggar, in reality become very rich.
Yes, a beggar alright but a rich beggar !
Devotion to you are my real riches.
Constant repetition of your name is indeed a big event, and that is my capital.

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Repetition of your name without any selfish motive, repetition of touching your pious feet, repetition of surrendering to you, repetition of your name, repetition of of offering each and everything, repetition of resolving debates- discussions-conflicts, repetition of interperting mysteries of your talks and understanding them in true and proper perspective, repetition of getting merged with you, getting dissolved with you, getting united with you. On Emperor ! You establish your rule over me, throw-away the rule of evils and guilts, then I shall believe your well-known importance. In your hands are all fifty-two cards. Give me a few good cards. so that I do not get lost in a birth and a birth again.

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:24: COME ON, LET ME GO TO MEET !
Oh my lord ! Seeing my devotion, affliction, sentiments, prayer, requests, appeals, teasing, reprimand, wailing, anguish, tears, intensive eagerness, constant waiting for long, etc. sometimes you also must be feeling that come on, let me go to meet. Thear a sound suggesting your arrival and towards that dierction my eyes, ears, and heart look for your auspicious arrival. But meeting with you just does not take place that is the painful matter. My eyes have ceased to be eyes and they have become a temple of waiting But you are not ready to come to me. Even, perhaps, you come, you do not want to be seen by me. Against your this obstinacy, I am also quite adamant that only in this birth I want to realise you. Allrough my this adamancy also is handicapped, it is structured on the wrong notion of foundation of misunderstanding. Because you are nameless and I have given a name to you. YOU are without any shape, any beauty and any body and yet I have given you a form with shapes and beauty. Because am I not only a devotee of name, shape and body? Though you do not have body I have given you body. Although you are everywhere I asked your address. You are totally free but I tried to give you a bondage of devotion.

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Although you are of generous character, at time I saw an element of misery in you; remembering often in the days of unhappiness. In the times of happiness I totally forgot you. Putting hypocrisy of a religion and covers showing that I am at your service, I played trickeries to cheat you. All these- my robbery, mean and lowly attitude, the age-old attachment of selfish motives ~ till I remove away, how can I be able to see you? I want to leave my evil attachments; I want to live my entire life under your cool and comfortable shelter. Without you, even the things considered meaningful from the materialistic worldly view outwardly, appear without any meaning and dwarfish. In your presence even small, little things are experienced as very much meaningful. In your absence what is the meaning of outer wealth affluence or affluence of this worldly life? Without you, I, myself is totally meaningless. My value, my meaningfulness-for that all credit goes to you. In your separation I have been hurt several times; by taking risks, and suffering. Even after getting many injuries, in taking risks also I have sustained injuries, in the materialistic worldly affairs. But while talking measuring every word, weighing every word, I do not keep any kind of equipments to measure or to weigh my worship to you. I am not such a devotee to speak or write words after measuring your weighing in your devotion. I have my flow of devotion full of all forces available.

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Of course a creator of that is only you. I do not have any capacity to create. The creator is only yourself. Isn't it ? I only commit a sin of dissolving, dispersing of your creation for other than this, noble, virtuous, righteous world. You remove my this abnormality, Prabhu ! I do not make any more demand, Vibhu !

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:25: THAT RESPONSIBILITY IS YOURS
Oh my lord ! How should I come to you? | cannot find your path. I do not get light. I do not find any traveller. I do want to come to you but the distance is of thousands- lacscrores of miles. The distance is very much; and obstacles are many. Confusions-knots are manifold. I can deal with a knife, obstacles, thorns, troubles, difficulties etc. but my lord ! On the mid-way I should not get stumbled, I should not fall, i should not get lost. All those responsibilities I leave to you. I constantly walk; if you also from the opposite side come walking, how nice it would be from your kind self ?
Then, a meeting can take place little early. ! Perhaps, it does not happen so that on the path which I am walking, you are also walking on the same path and both in the same direction.
Then I shall not be able to catch you. Because against your very super speed, my speed is indeed very very slow, weak and my walk stumbling. At times I also feel that you are not that far. Is it ? In every breath you are near to all.

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But because of our short-sightedness we are unable to gain you. How cursed we are that even your boon we are unable to recognise, we are unable to understand, we are unable to interprete. We are ignoring also your Grace. And by doing so, we have been destroying ourselves. Oh Lord ! Kindly save me from my ignorance. Kindly remove my misunderstanding. You are, all powerful and also merciful. Isn't it? Oh merciful ! Inspite of having strength if we do not remove unhappiness of others, then we are called hard-hearted. Is it so ? Then you with all unthinkable strength, do not remove our evil intellect, unhappiness and faults, how could you be called ocean of compassion ? Inspite of all strength and capacities if you avoid me, you ignore me, why could you not be called hard-hearted and insensitive? You reply to this if like us you also are hard-hearted and insensitive, what is the difference between you, and myself ? Even to keep your title of 'Ocean of compassion, you will have to come to wipe off the tears. Believing that you will certainly come to wipe- off the tears, I cry aloud in loneliness. And only with your touch tears can transform the wrong side of life.

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:26: A LINE OF DIFFERENCE BETWEEN
BHAGWAN AND A DEVOTEE
I believe that a devotee means a hut for limitless waiting, a balcony of cravings beyond any limit, and a large ocean of tears. And Bhagwan means (1) even after coming to a hut of waiting remains unseen, (2) even after coming in the balcony of cravings will not show fortune of giving 'Darshan' to his devotee; and (3) despite seeing his own reflection clearly in the large Ocean of warm tears would not make any kind of response. Taken as extract of my devotional feelings towards you, the definition which I have concluded is right or wrong? You know that. But your passive intertia makes me to give this definition. On one sidel experience that even in my blood you get circulated rhythmically and keep my flood circulating; it is indeed a joyful experience.
On the other hand, I and you are; quite far and at a distance ~ such despair makes me restless. On one side my heart tells me that you are just around me. On the other side my eyes thirsty for your 'DARSHAN' complains that where are you? why are you not seen ? One time I feel that if I run after your invisible steps, constantly I shall be able to find you. On the other side, it is felt that in doing so I am getting totally lost; I can not gain you; or you can not meet me I am just in the undecided hanging state like 'TRISHANKU'.

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If fragrance comes out of a flower what would happen ? Only such thing has happened in your case and my case. A relationship of a boat and a sea was built up with you. But I failed to build relationship of the water and the sea with you. Now in your ocean of devotion I want to merge becoming water. No, No, in the sea one would get tired of a tide and an ebb. Instead of that you make me devotional water of cool and calm, MANSAROVAR.
I shall gain fortune to observe virtuous swans. And then there would be tremendous joy of an open talk with you freely in the atmosphere of freedom. I want to make you totally moved with my tales interesting, sharp, edged, capable of piercing heart; that will be quite effective. You may be creditworthy, honest, rich and may be creditor also but I am only with true heart ! There will be a good match between us. I shall feel o.k. with you. Would you like my company ? If you do not like, then get adjusted.
I am not going to leave you. Because you are also wealthy. Isn't it? To catch you is my adamaney. To run away is your obstinacy. There is nothing like a win and a defeat in this.

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I have only attachment with the continuance of the game. But you do not play any trick to get lost forever. Never play the game of such trickeries with me.

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:27: LIKE CREATION, DISPERSION IS ALSO
ESSENTIAL
Oh Creator! You kindly create something within myself so that I can see you. And forever, everywhere I can hear you. I can always take care of myself. Instead of myself, I can pamper all others But for that, you do not have any other alternative but to become 'Lord of Dispersion'. My things which are useless, meaningless without you, kindly make dispersion of that; it will not be possible for you to create something meaningless for the welfare of others in myself. Until you disperse all which are hidden within myself e.g. 'DURVASA' of anger, 'RAVANA' of the lust, 'DURYODHAN' of false pride, Manthara' of slandering, 'SHAKUNI' of treacheries, MAMMAN' of greed, 'Kansa' of cruelty, etc.etc. till then, how any creation of foregiveness, love, humility, apprecation, simplicity, satisfaction, delicary etc. will be possible? And without doing that how could you be called a creator? Therefore I tell you that before becoming creator, you become dispersor. By dispering evil elements and creation of noble, spiritual essence, your work does not get over; you see. Nurturing of good essence, nourshing that essence, protection of such essence, making its progess steady ~ all these functions, you have to perform.

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My work is only to involve myself in your plans, to support, to respond, just like a patient geeting admitted in a hospital. Without patients for whom a hospital can come into existence? Without us, how could you become a creator of virtues, protector, producer? Without a devotee, how could you become Bhagwan? Even for Bhagwan like Bhagwan to be fortunate they would need devotees like myself ~ this thing I only understood today. Is my talk right or wrong? That decision only you will have to give. My job is only to tell you frankly whatever strikes in my mind absolutely clearly and asking you and lastly to wait for your response. Except these where is the fourth job I have to do? Ah! Yes after doing all these things to make you speak-the fourth task will be done automatically. Am I right? Ah! Now you are giving a smile after hearing me?

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:28: WONDER OF A REQUEST AND A
NEED
Oh the Emperor of words! My words, as such, are very simple. But as soon as you enter into them a wonderful beauty gets manifested.
Even simplicity has its own original beauty; that I understand now. In my very simple words, you enter and there a temple of sentiments is created. You are doing the task of filling soul, spirit, vibrations in my words. And for that reason they become my sentiments. Without your words, my words are incomplete, out of tunes. In your presence, even words also are in absolute harmony and are sweet.
In your company, the meanings, well wishing and quite mysterious. And that is why without asking anyone, without taking anyone's advice, in my own way I go on speaking. By asking someone, by taking advice of someone, by taking training, thinking about all things around, everthing else can be done; but in love-devotion-prayer-sentiments-'VANDAN' towards you nothing of these can help. I love you, in my own) way, in my own style. I do not ask anyone how to love, style of love, a method of love; even not to you.

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By asking anyone by taking someone's advice can anyone love
you?
That is the need of my emotional, sentimental heart. And is the same manner this rquest is made to you. There is no debt of thoughts borrowed from others. I do not consider the talk as duty. I am not at all feeling any surprise in it. Now you create something in myself. So that you also feel my need. This is the only my small request. And it is your duty to fulfill it. Oh Supreme Power! I want to gain you absolutely in perfect manner; recongnise you, realise you; This is the only my intensive desire.

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:29: I HAVE WORSHIPPED AND ALSO
CHALLENGED
Oh Lord of my soul ! Since quite sometime have we got any opportunity to meet you? Where and when you see there, then there are mobs and mobs. Oh Lord ! You atleast stop them somewhat. For our meeting, they create the distance and the obstacles. There is a quadrangular place of meaningless, burdensome activities. But since the people are near me, you please do not stop me with an adverse remark. Because I also tell those people that you push away the evils. Talso have raised my short, thick staff of repetition of your name. If you have any idea about it; then you also get little stunned. Do you have any idea ? how many cries I have made during my separation with you ? Yes, I agree, my lord ! Thave loved you; then, at times I have behaved as if you do not exist. I have worshipped you, I have challenged you, I also have hated you. In all these things also my inattentive feelings only are responsible. You see? I trust, your ears are not deaf.

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And though my devotion is blind, it is not handicapped. That is why, one day, I shall surely get response from you. And that is why I make new and novel sound to you. Everywhere I remember you, remember you remember you only. You create in my self discussion - dialogue - harmony, agreement.

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:30: MEET ME IN THE DEPTH OF MY
MIND BHAGWAN !
Oh lord of my freedom! I have captured you in my memory. Are you bored of an imprisonment? I am full of memories and yet I am totally detached. If we see, you are quite far and yet there no one is as near you
are.
Remember and instantly present. What is this? How is it? Although we have never met, I remember you. Although there does not appear any reason to remember you, and still I remember you. Without any interest, any purpose, without any selfish motive, without any personal reason I remember you everywhere. For that reason, I call my entire life your worship, devotion, sentiments, prayer, waiting etc. My entire consciousness intensively desires only yourself; it is craving for that. I shall not regret even if my entire life passes in your search, in finding you. Because you are the greatest witness of my searching you everywhere. I have been just waiting for you. When there are knocks on doors, I get a sound of your arrival. But after opening the doors when I see, then I know that you

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are not there. But again while closing the doors, I fear that you do not run away seeing the doors closed. You are not there and you are there in this mysterious game, I have been swinging for quite sometime. Enjoying this merriment, I shall not get tired. It seems that the more time is required in searching rather than for meeting you. The moment a mother sees her child for the first time, her pain of pregnancy and of therefore bearing it in her belly, instantly ends there. Similarly the pain of searching you will get finished as soon as the moment of our sweet meeling; I have full trust in this. When I shall have your 'DARSHAN', my eyes will become pilgrimage place. When I hear your sweet voice, my ears will become pilgrimage place. When there will be pious touch of your lotus like feet, they will become pilgimage place. At your feet there would be a threefold merger_ lotuslike my hands, lotuslike my eyes, lotuslike my heart. Then my joy will be unbounded. Yes, when that auspicious moment comes then that would be considered fulfilling my chain of several births but I also know that not in any other place but in my anxious worries, my intensive eagerness, my waiting for a long time, you are hidden there becoming quite attentive. And, therefore I shall not have much difficulty in finding you. "Meet me in the depth of my mind, BHAGWAN!" The meaning of above saying seems like this. Whenever I think, I can gain your what more fortune could be there than this?

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:31: TO BECOME A VICTOR OF THE WORLD YOU
MAKE ME VICTOR OF THE LORD OF THE
WORLD
Oh Victor of the world!
You win over my ego.
You remove my instinct of enmity after defeating it.
My partical attiude favouring evils, you destroy to the ground.
You defeat my intensive desire to earn name and fame in the world.
You totally destroy the army of my abnormal lust.
You tear-off black, poisonous serpent of illusion.
Extinguish the fire of my old friend anger.
You finish off the witch of cruelty, hard-heartedness.
Then only, in the real sense, you will become the victor of the world.
Against you, only in my defeat, there is my well being.
In the obstinacy to win against you, I have harmed myself.
Now my defeat is O.K. with me. I like it.
By getting even defeated against you, I want to win.
Oh Lord of the world!
Today I also want to tell you one more thing of my heart. You may be the victor of the world, I want to become the victor of the lord of the world.

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Because what pious thing is with me; you just do not have even a small degree of that with you. Behind the sinful activities, I have one very big lake of the tears of the repentance. Behind evilsome dirty mental attiude, showers of tears have fallen non-stop, here. in your separation, love, feelings, devotion, worship of the tears flowing in the state of this intensity, I have the large Ocean of the tears.
Even in one happy imagination about a meeting with you, the tears flown during that would make, a river containing tears of joy. In' Darshan' of the virtuous individuals, 'Yogi Purush', Great individuals and their treasures of the righteous virtues also overflows my heart with tears of tremendous joy! Since you are totally free from sins, you are innocent, full of virtues, knowing all, vitrag 'Bhagwant you may not be having anything from these, at present. When my affluence of tears will be greater than your wealth of virtues, then I shall certainly become the victor of the lord of the world. And only then you also, in real meaning, will become the victor of the world. Even to become the victor of the world, you do not have any other alternative without making me the victor of the lord of the world. "Even by getting defeated against you, I want to win;" now you must have got an idea and a meaning of what I said just now.

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ABUNDANT JOY OF SENTIMENTS
:32: WHEN A FLOWER WILL BECOME A
GARLAND?
Oh Supreme Consciousness! Whenever strikes an idea about perfection, at that time the first idea comes of my imperfection. Remembrance of your entirety gives me an idea of my salty imperfection. When I have sentiments about fullness of your virtues, then you fill in my vaccum of virtues. 'Darshan' of your approrch of helping others, incomparable, unique world of virtues makes my vision pure and pious. Your memory, your presence make my life full of joy. In your presence, I experience bliss. Oh my lord! Each moment of my experience appears like a fragrant flower. When the unity will become like a garland worth offering to you. I have been eagerly awaiting for that auspicious moment. But just now I do not have any string, thread or cotton. Just now I only collect fragrant flowers. Seeing those beautiful flowers of experiences getting bent down because of burden, you, yourself, with a view to get them united, will send a cotton thread, I trust it. Yogis may give that, state the names e.g. 'KSHAYIK ANUBHOOTI, KSHAPAKA SHRENI,' 'NIRALAMBAN

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DHYAN,' 'PRATIBHA GNYAN,' 'RUTAMBHARA' PRAGNYA, ASAMPRAGNYAT, SAMADHI,' DHARMAMEGH SAMADHI, 'SAMAPATTI," KAIVALYA DASHA, JEEVAN MUKTI-'etc.etc; as they may like to give. I am not concerned with names. Thave only an intensive eagerness to enjoy your eternal company directly, experience your eternal company in my mind. In whatever name, whatever form, anyway, anywhere, anytime you meet me, meet me and meet me. This is only my request. I do not know much about your various forms e.g. Shapelyshapeless, with name-without name, bodily-invisible, without virtues-with virtues, with action- in non-action, remaining only in one place, remaining everwhere, etc.etc. I am not the least interested in intellectual discussion, debate, arguments, counter-arguments etc.etc. I feel that those matters are not the subjects of discussion but they are the matters of experience. What one can not understand by writing an essay about the difference in tastes of jaggery, sugar, sugar crystals, mangoes can be understood by tasting once. Instead of writing numerous essays about your different forms, I only want to experience you, enjoy you and know you well. You may meet me in different forms. I just do not crave about it. But only you meet me. Ins't it? Yes, that is the most important thing for me.

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:33: MY BIGGEST CONFUSION
Oh dear companion! When I begin a talk with you, I do not think about anything. Whatever comes to my mind I go on telling. I go on writing and inside I am suffering. If I have to speak with others, then I speak. But my life force is only united with you. When I have tasted your richness, sweetness, how one can get interested in something else? In someone other? Only you tell me that. Constantly, everwhere there is only repetition of your name. On the wings of the peacock like mind there are only your impressions. Now there will be an end to my all troubles. There will be an end to all my illusions. I daily observe only your new dreams. Those only appear to me bewitching. To me, even in dreams there is only your arrival. And to welcome you there are musical sounds. The dreams of this world look also terrifying. Even pains and unhappiness could not touch ining Therefore, evils could not bang on us.

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We surrendered to your pure, pious feet. As we got attached only with you. We did not visit any palce; not any. Yet why are we like orphans to you? Why we could not be recognised by you? Oh! knower of all things! You know my emotions. You recognise miseries~ sentiments. Then complaints will get stopped because you will stay only in my heart. I have only attaction towards you. That is why, you accept my invitation to come. | extend to you my invitation daily. Yet why do you not get attracted ? This is my biggest muddle. And that is why I struggle to do this and that. Oh Supremely Compassionate! Take away all these-acute worries, confusion, muddle, suffocation: Continuously, everwhere, by all means there should be only your remebrance. The mind, by continuous remebrance stops arrival of the dealth. But what about these two eyes fasting forever? The constant quarrel is going on between my iron mind and frail eyes.

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One prefectly happy and the other ones absolutely unhappy. I do not understand what should I do. In the quarrel between the two my position becomes awkward and embarrasing. Oh favourite of my mind! You give me 'Darshan' physically, then there would be an end to this quarrel and I also can get released.

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ABUNDANT JOY OF SENTIMENTS
:34: WHATEVER I GIVE YOU TO KEEP IS INVESTMENT; ALL OTHER THINGS ARE
TROUBLES
Oh loving one ! In my sentiments, whatever words and tunes are there, spontaneous rhythm and harmony are there, sweet song and music are there, serious silence and talkative nature are there, painful waiting and trust are there, distressing grief and joy are there, warm tears and feelings are there, very intensive anguish and emotions are there, all these are for you and only for you. Nothing from these things is for this selfish world. In my each word, tune. etc. you come out as reflection and at least once you create in me faith for you. Between us getting seen and getting lost - that game has been continuing since very long. I want to see you but you want to hide from me. You are rot seen yet you are so charming. Then when you will be seen, how would you look ? Without seeing, without knowing, without experiencing how have you been attracting me so much ? I just cannot understand that. Whatever reason there may be, but excepting yourself the soul does not have any liking for anyone. You are merging in my every action, speech, thoughts and my entire life becomes your devotion. When you meet me and I remain awake I call it wakefulness; otherwise they are called abstinence from sleep with anxiety, When you get merged, I call it a prayer; otherwise, that is called

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begging. When I come to meet you; when I walk, run towards you, it becomes a pilgrimage; otherwise it becomes roaming. wandering. You are at the centre-point of the word.
That is why it becomes devotion.
Otherwise that could be called only worthless talks.
Because of keeping your presence before my eyes there arises the spontaneous flow of sentiments, otherwise there is nothing but the miseries everywhere. If you are present then only my speech flows religious discourse; otherwise that only remains an ocean of miseries, pain and troubles.
To gain you whatever I leave that could be called penancesacrifice; otherwise it becomes fasting or dying because of hunger. Whatever I give you to keep is investment; all other things are troubles, a visit of condolence, a violent strife To gain you whatever decorative ornaments for the body, I leave is called renunciation; otherwise only poverty and wretchedness. If I leave support of words to understand you peacefully, that becomes silence; otherwise simply mootness,
Whatever I leave to gain you, is considered generosity; otherwise, only extravagance and senseless. To enjoy your nearness, proximity becomes resting place, rest house; otherwise laziness and sluggishness. To get your company if I sit at one place it is called stillness; otherwise laziness, sluggishness and stupidity.

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To receive your compassion whatever I give is called charity or donation. Otherwise it would be said that the things were given to a beggar. If you merge with my words it becomes a prayer; otherwise that becomes a shout of excitement. Words coming out for you become ornaments; otherwise only pomp and false show. My words go out in search of your beauty and gains beauty for themselves. I do not believe that my each word has meaning. If perhaps, apparently there may not be any meaning of my words but you kindly make them meaningful; kindly give them supreme positions. You give your tune, rhythm, meter, music, beauty, wonderful creation to my words. My words do not have any proper sequence or they do not observe rules of the language; they have only attachment towards you. For that only the words-fall flows unstopped towards you. ljust do not; and can not claim that with me there will be adequate treasure of words to flow towards yourself. I am absolutely ignorant. How much treasure of words can be with me? But I can assure you that my affluence of devotion is tremendous. My treasure of devotion only creates the treasure of words. And yet it may so happen that tomorrow there may not be available even a word of devotion. Perhaps, words might get lost, then you do kindly give me new words.

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Will you please not do this much for me? In these new words, if tears are not there you also create new tears. Do you understand ? I do not know if you are hearing me or not? But believing that you must be hearing, I continue to speak; as you are knower of all things, seeing all things and of all the three tenses. Isn't it? Talking with you is like, to my mind, abundant joyful freedom of devotion. Of course you have established yourself on the summit of the mountain of virtues. I am in the deep, dirty, ditch full of evil things and guilts. How my sound from so far should be reaching you ? That also is, for me, an unresolved dilemma. It is felt that my sentiment itself is one step. Daily I shall make steps of my sentiments and in that manner I shall reach you. I do not have any capacity to reach you flying the entire distance like a 'SADHAK bird. If by steps of my sentiments you also come down how simple and nice that would be ! But no, I do not want you to come down. How many times will you come down to meet me ? Now I only want to come up. Though difficult but the best path is only this one. Isn't it ? Thereafter, there will never be our separation between you and
me Jain Educationa International

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To make steps of sentiments daily also is very, very difficult.
But there is also one benifit thereof.
After making those steps one does not have to make any effort to climb.
Upon construction of each new step automatically one can climb that step.
I come near you spontaneously and effortlessly.
I do not want to get satisfaction by, having even your slightest 'DARSHAN.'
I trust, that by medium of sentiments you will meet me urgently. I shall have your realization.
With a medium of sentiments I come to you and I experience coolness.
Really, your impact of all these - of your presence, of your talks, of the cultivated adjustment of our minds, of the unconditional surrender to you, forever, of permanent surrender of the soul to you, of your devotion- Prayer- emotions- sentiments of the pious atmosphere around you will be so glorious, so glorified; such idea I just did not have.
In every instinct- activity I want to weave only yourself, in the scripture of the heart, in the Lion- throne of my heart; I only want to establish yourself.
Then automatically I shall gain the form of a temple.
Then, you will never be able to run away.
Because no temple can be without the Supreme Soul.

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:35: YOU KEEP MIRROR OF SPEECH BEFORE
MY SENTIMENTS
I am coming to you with deer-like speed. My unstinted faith towards you gives force to my mind and also to my speed; it also gives righteous direction. Except from you, I do not have hearty relationship with anyone. I have an intensive eagerness only for you. Without any selfish motive or any reason, I have started search for you. That is why my entire life has already become devotion-prayersentiments. Without any reason, without any conveniences of happiness | remain in joyful freedom. That is also one kind of devotion. Even among my busy activities I keep the flow of your remembrance. That is also devotion towards you. Coming here if you just peep in, you will find your face in all my thoughts, conduct and speech. You keep mirror of speech before the face of my sentiments. Then you will have words and I shall be without words. My words spoken by you will burn you. Then, you will understand the meaning of separation and affliction of separation. You will recognise emotions and devotion. You will also experience affliction of sentiments.

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You will understand how valuable are the tears. You will have an introduction of the heart of a devotee. You will understand the pain of eagerly awaiting. Then, certainly you will get pulled towards me. The beats of anxious eagerness also will increase. There will be unity of devotional spirit and helplessness of separation. You will also experience vibrations of fragrance of tears full of feelings. You will understand trembling of the emotional, sentimental heart of a person who is separated. You will repent for your avoiding me till date. You will understand your serious blunder of remaining away from me.
You will have permanent repentance of avoiding meeting me and getting bored with me. Oh darling! I do not want to tell you more. Only once you keep mirror of speech before my sentiments. Then in my talk there will not be exageration, but you will find there only very small speech. That will be enjoyed only by me. Only you will remain anxious. That also I shall like. You also ensure that you like it, with joy, or without joy. What more should I tell you ?

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ABUNDANT JOY OF SENTIMENTS
:36: EVEN A STONE MELTS
Oh Supremely afficted because of sepration! All moments I have been spending only is searching you, "YOU never disappoint anyone," I have earlier heard so. Not only heard, but I also have accepted it as the truth in my heart. But it does not make any difference in your principles by accepting it or not accepting it. There will be the difference only in the intensity of my desire, thirst, cravings. It is quite enough for me if you do not get changed my hope into despair. Otherwise if you are not going to meet me this meaningless life is not worth-living. Not in 'MOKSHA' only but in your eternal search I have good interest. More than 'MUKTI' the freedom, 'BHAKTI', the devotion is much better messanger. I have only one track; to search you everywhere. Getting hidden, how long shall you remain hidden? By getting hidden from me, one day you shall get tired. I shall go on searching till you get tired. Perhaps the time, the three tenses, the wheel of cycle of time will get tired but I shall not get tired. Perhaps the tremendous sky will get tired, but in searching you in each corner of the sky, I shall not get tired.

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I may believe that in this birth until death, you do not meet me. By that I am not going to get tired. Perhaps my search of you for one birth, the entire lifetime search, you do not find adequate. Then, in the next birth, I shall continue your search. Tam not an atheist that I wish to finish my all work, my all actions only in this birth; I just do not have any such crazy idea. Yes, I have such craziness; but that only of searching you. If you are on the other side of this life, then we shall meet there; and if not so, we shall meet in the life thereafter. From birth to birth, constantly I shall pursue to search you, find you. But, my Lord! One thing is absolutely certain that you will meet me, but not when I have a desire, but when you wish to meet me. For our meeting, in the end, it depends very much upon you. | simply go on writing with eagerness, anxiety and pain. And what else I have other than this? Friend! Now atleast you become merciful. Today atleast you allow me to tell you that if you had been an idol of stone it would have been much better. Looking to my affiction, it seems that, perhaps, even a stone also would have got melted. You just do not get dissoved, get melted, get drenched or soaked. Oh Idol of Iron! If you do not become a candle, it is alright; if you become an idol of marble or if you become an idol of the stone; then also I shall get you melted.

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Like the music of 'Baiju Bawra'l shall show you the strength of my devotion.
If you are an idol of gold or silver then in my fire of sepration of the beloved in a moment I shall get you melted.
Even if you are an idol of the iron with the non-stop flow of my tears I shall get you drenched. But if you are only an idol of the sky, or invisible, let me tell you clearly that it may not be in your fortune to get melted, get drenched, get soaked or get wet. If you like to remain absolutely dry, then what else I can do ? And if the reality is this, then before making love to you, I should have thought a lot. You never gave me such an opportunioty, and just like that you made me to fall in love with you. You make me to go down the well without any water and then cut a rope from the top! No thirst can be fulfilled; and just cannot come out Just cannot live; just cannot bear. You have put me in an undecided hanging state. Now what to tell you that I just cannot understand "If i knew all such things, that in loving there is so much unhappiness, I would have moved in the world beating a drum and telling people that no one should make love." What must be a miserable condition of 'MEERA;' that is now understood at the stage of experience. Yes, now I leave to you, in trust. Wherever you want this boat to reach in that direction only, you move the ours.

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I shall get lost in awaiting for you in absolute silence. Yet lastly, I may tell you one thing. Oh charming one! If you never want to meet me just now, you remove off this deep attachment. And it is definite to meet, then double the intensity of our attachment; so that mind does not travel elsewhere and the moment of meeting comes nearer. In this condition of a washerman's dog I can not live anymore. Even in oppression and tyranny there should be some limits. Isn't
it?
This, I do not speak, my lord! But only miseries of affiction because of separation from my beloved, you and my sentiments make me speak, becoming confused, puzzled, agitated and perplexed. If you do not hear me, it is alright. Because I am man. Isn't it? But atleast listen that weak one.

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ABUNDANT JOY OF SENTIMENTS
:37: DESPITE ROWING OARS NO
PROGRESS !
Oh Saviour from the Ocean of life! In the ocean of life the boat of the soul moves here and there without any direction. There is constant rowing of oars. But there is not much progress. Because there is one oar yours and one oar mine. Your oar is quite good; yet I like, I love my oar. And the directions of rowing are different! How can a boat progress? Now I wish that both oars become yours. Otherwise, in this manner there will not be any kind of progress. Boasting of the light in a sealam totally confused in the darkness. You hold my hand and lead me to eternal light. You take away me from this astringent - salty- dark ~ unharmonious sea of life; and take me quite near you. You save me from the vicious circles drawn by me one upon another. You bring down to the ground the iron - wall of discrimination. You take me out of the knots of my all kinds of beliefs. You save me from vicious, torchurous circle of misunderstandings. You remove me from this net of my illusions.

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You pardon my dwarfish attitude and terrifying conduct.
You take out me from whirlpools of suffocation- confusion - affication ~ getting cheated- fascination - temptation - allurement etc. etc.
You make me free from grips of bewitchment - delusion - infatuation - ignorance - illusions - perplexity - dismay etc. You save me from miseries and pain; sadness and grief. My oar is rowing in just opposite direction. You relieve me from that. You put in order, now, both your oars. I do not have any other intensive desire.

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:38: I HAVE STARTED YOUR SEARCH
Oh merciful! I have started your search on all four sides. In reality I do not know anything. Yet I have started your search. Now you give me some preachings. Then only I will start my search for you. Although I may look young and strong. But I do not have any moral lessons. That is why I tell you to shower Grace. Then there would be an end to darkness of my ignorance. And also resistance to my unrestrained, shamelessness. Many obstacles will get removed from the road. Now I never want to oppose you. I only want to make your invaluable search, very difficult task. I have knowledge of some, few words. Therefore, I started your seach with a pen. But by lifepoem when will there be your search? For that you give me knowledge and some moral preachings. Oh lord, then there will be my enlightment.

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ABUNDANT JOY OF SENTIMENTS
:39: NOT ONLY YOU, I AM ALSO
DISGUSTED
Oh, Ocean of equenamity ! How abnormal and peculair am I? I have been shouting 'where are you? There is simply a habit of talking. I have put in cotton plugs in my ears and I expect your reply. With my own hands I have hit an axe on my foot and then I am crying aloud. Though I know terrifying nature of the results, I just cannot leave temptation of actions. After taking poisonous drinking of lust I want to become immortal. I have been creating on my own, serpents of the lust. I want to become virtuous without evils. I create ego, false pride and I make a hollow prayer to you for dispersal. I have been craving to you to reduce my evils but I keep my favourable sweet sight upon evils! Itching of lust, greed and thirst from within I feel quite sweet. Even before you I feel shy in accepting my guilt consciousness. Fulfilling my thirst I blame your speech and water. By taking something to satisfy my hunger I see evil in your dish of delicacies, of 'SADHANA'.
You are ready to give your hand, but I do not want to open my

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intellectual fist. I become a bania trader of your speech but I do not become a devotee of my heart You save me from this foolishness and give me matured wisdom. If my mind, the slave of instinct of desire and thirst of attachments moves away, then only your entry will become possible in my sentiments.
Despite understanding this I become a victim daily of some new desire, thirst, lust and attachments of my own. There is nothing of these, beyond your sight. You see everything transparent and sharp. You, knower of all! Since you are the Supreme Soul, you know everything; that is a different thing. I do not want to hide anything or cover anything. I want to appear absolute transpert as I am. Keeping aside any shyness or restrain i wish to confess. You have been giving with thousands of hands but I simply do not know how to take it. The thing given by you, making that impure or to twist it I have not taken much time. The question is of my mind and a complaint is in your royal court! You shower but I have forgotten the art of getting drenched. And I shout to you to remain dry. Really, with my this pecularity not only you, I am also disgusted. You forgive me for my shamelessness,

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:40: FOR THAT REASON, I TALK TO YOU
You are invisible and therefore I engage myself to talk with you. For talking with an invisible, one gets an opportunity to talk to whenever, wherever, how much, what type, the way in which one likes.
A talk with you made with an open heart becomes like a resting place.
While talking to you I get joy of your 'DARSHAN.'
When I talked to you, I felt better in life.
For that reason only, by writing, speaking, thinking and even remaining silent I continue to talk to you.
Your talk performs the task of spreading light in the darkness.
It serves as a lighthouse for a person like me who is lost in the sea of life.
That serves as my guide.
It gives freshness, intoxication of talking whatever comes to mind. In the talk between us, there is no question of anyone feeling bad about anything.
Because only I have to talk and, in silence, you listen that.
I even do not have to see whether you like it or not. Whatever comes to my mind, I have to tell that straight way. That is why you save me everytime.
I am seeking only your support.

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I do not want to talk in round about way. I want to tell you everything frankly and then I want to become light like a flower And only by telling to get solutions of all my problems. By removing all waste and dirt in a moment I become rich. To convert a thorn into a flower. That is why by keeping relation with you I like to talk to you in solitude. A day without talk with you, means a barren day, a profitless day. The day on which a talk with you, started is my birthday. A day without any talk means a day of the death. Till date that day has not come. As soon as I get separated from others, I engage myself to talk with you. While talking to you in my mind, quite often I get burnt. Because being a small child of yours, I am quite away from you. Only in my mind I chew on your talk. Even any adversity, I consider favourable. Once a talk begins with you, everything is felt rhythmic, in tune, and all affectionate, all talks relevant, harmonious. That is why I tell you, Oh Regulator of the world! Control me not as I like but what you think right for me. Because my interest is not in my hands but is in your hands and heart; is written in your heart.

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Being meaningful in the world, in reality, that living will become meaningless or unworthy; instead, there will be tremendous joy in living according to your meaning - supreme meaning. For that constantly, one may have to get melted, dissolved, burnt. Whatever according to the world is meaningless, worthless that is meaningful, worthy and with supreme meaning according to you. When I become that boundless freedom of joy, I forget the entire world.
Unhappiness ~ pain ~ miseries ~ affication - all are forgotten evils - guilts ~ evil virtues ~ evil conduct - all are removed. I experience softness of getting light. My heart gets filled. The mind becomes joyful. Peace becomes profound. Beauty of virtues blossom. Feelings of the soul come out. And remains only pouring innocent incomparable joy, bliss. Really, your impact, your glory, your welfare of others is unique, mysterious, wonderful.

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ABUNDANT JOY OF SENTIMENTS
:41: WHAT IS SUPERIOR ? BHAGWAN'S LOVE OR DEVOTION OF A DEVOTEE ?
Oh Lord of the world! You are so much near me that whenever, wherever I want to cry aloud for you, I can do that. I can talk with you, opening my heart. But now I need to go away from you. For a short time, we get separated from eachother After a separation from you, there will be immense joy in our meeting If you get separated, I shall be able to create my thirst, eageness, an intensive desire to meet you. Your love towards me and my devotion towards you, let both these compete. Who wins from these two that I want to see, know and witness. But when you get separated from me, instantly the weakness of your love will become public. After your separation with me, I shall be able to cry aloud for you, putting aside all shyness- shame. More than your love, my devotion will be proved superior. When you get separtated what would happen to your title 'lord of the world', spread all over ? And even if you do not get separated from me, then also it will be proved that you are bound by my deep devotion, you are held so tightly that you just can not get separated. Even then, my devotion will win. Your love will be proved dwarfish

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Even after getting separated from me, how, even for a moment can you live, that I want to see. Now in every way, it is my victory, defeat yours. Victory of my devotion. Defeat of your love. Hundred days yours, one day mine. Isn't it? Also there is a saying, "Hundred days of the mother-in-law; then one day is of the daughter-in-law !" Today the intoxication for winning against you is quite peculiar. I do not know what kind of stuff I have taken. | see lights in several places all around. It seems you are not that great. Only we have made you great. What is the value of a king without people ? In your greatness my contribution is not less. But oh lord ! You do not change the colour of my victory. Because, in the end, the reins of all powers are in your hands! I am your senseless child. You pardon my talking too much. As such where do I know how to speak and how to write ? What you make me speak, I speak and what you make me write, I write that is why I do not see any reason why you should not like my speaking or writing.

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ABUNDANT JOY OF SENTIMENTS
:42: MYSTERIES OF LIFE QUITE STRANGE
Oh dear lord ! When I get awake, I pray you. As soon as I wake up, your remembrance comes. As if the whole night you were with me in some peculiar manner! Day and night, the remembrance which is woven spontaneously; is it not the devotion ? When your remembrance comes even the darkest night cppears like a full-moon day. Talking with you has become spontaneous. There is no big festival than our conversation with each other. So many times it so happens that I am here and in a moment I reach near you. Such coming and going continue constantly, in your spontaneous remembrance and forgetting. So many times I do not like to open my eyes. With closed eyes I see you fully satisfied. With open eyes you are not seen anywhere. But you move from there in such a way that nothing remains known about your whereabout.
How is this game ? Have you got such an attachment with the game ? How wonderful is it?

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"With the closed eyes you are near; and when the eyes are open you are far away". Such wonderful game do I make you to play or you, on your own play that ? or my good fortune gets it done by you? I just do not know anything about it. Reality, whatever it is, you know better. But I do get tremendous joy in playing such "Hide and Seek" game. In living between your attraction and my pulling up and living there is some different kind of joy. Though separate from you, in a way we are joint. Though far and yet near. Really mysteries of your life are quite strange. Similarly, the secrets of my sentiments are also strange. You have thousands of names and forms. Similarly, my sentiments are also having many names and numerous kinds of forms. In reality just like you, even my sentiments are without names and invisible. And giving name-form-beauty to that also is done by only you, Isn't it? Without names ~ formas ~ shapes like yourself we gave nameform-shape; similarly you did with my sentiments. We both are equal. Isn't it ?

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ABUNDANT JOY OF SENTIMENTS
:43: WITH A DEER, A LION'S FIGHT!
Oh the treasure of knowledge ! I am without any information and an ignorant. I do not know how to speak, write, and think. Now instead of continuing writing I want to come to you with a blank paper. On this paper of my life, you write whatever you like. Oh the lord of Ascetics ! Thave spoilt the blank paper of life by blobs of different colours. You convert them into a design with beautiful colours. This is the important difference between my writing and your writings. Isn't it? That is why getting moved from there from my word I only want to install you. On the blank paper | spread the game of chess. You arrange the wooden pieces as you like. Howsoever you move them, I shall like that. There may, perhaps be your victory. But in winning with me or losing only you will get disgrace. If a lion defeats a deer, what is strange in it ? If a lion gets defeated against a deer then there will be a lot of disgrace for a lion.
In winning or defeat against you in both, I only have advantage. Jain Educationa International

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I do not have any loss. This is your eternal law. Now I do not want to give any future time, date etc. Now you sing a song by which I remain silent ! You also will have some benefit in it.

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ABUNDANT JOY OF SENTIMENTS
:44: I DO NOT KNOW MY OWN
LANGUAGE
I have been so much intoxicated for talking with you that many a times I do not have senses to know what I am talking. I do not have any idea what is the meaning of what I am talking. In fact, in interpreting alphabets I really get confused. You know my language of devotion; that is the matter of great consolation for me. If I am unable to interprete my own script, how can I recognise your profound speech ? When I have not succeeded in recognising myself, then how can I claim to understand you perfactly? At least you give me that much strength and competence so that I can recognise myself and my language ! Then, at least, with its support I shall be able to recognise somewhat. From a person with clay feet I have to become a person with iron feet. And that task also you have to perform. Now I rely on your support, My life is in your possession. Not at anyone else's support. "You save me from the ocean of life." I wish to make only this much request. At the least you do one thing that you or me instead of getting confused and stumbled in my words we can reach upto the depth, feelings and the soul of the words.

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The problem of getting lost in the game of words is also quite perplexing Oh the lord of the rulers ! Lastly one request from my heart ,- that appeal I am placing before you I am quite determined to establish your rule in the hearts of innumerable people. You kindly ensure that I do not become a cause in getting removed your rule established in anyone's heart; not even the least in a dream. Such is my intensive prayer to you at this moment. Will you kindly accept my this humble appeal ? Will you not kick it away ? No? Faith which I have put in you, does not get shaken- seeing that is your internal responsibility; yes, only yours.

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ABUNDANT JOY OF SENTIMENTS
:45: AM I INCLUDED OR NOT ?
Oh Well wisher of the world! "The welfare of all the lives is written by your hand. It is carved in your heart." I have heard so. But I want to ask you that in all those am I included or not? If my welfare is in your hands and heart why at each and every step, something goes wrong? Why havelbecome like a risky mugician, a trader of unhappiness, a terrifying juggler, ? Instead of coming near you, why am I going far away ? Instead of in a lane of light why am I wandering in a lane of darkness? Why again and again dol become a victim of desires and greed? in the heart, instead of getting wet why am I getting dried up? Instead of the tide of emotions why is there an ebb in that ? Why on all the four sides I feel, you are missing? I have really got such severe shocks. When my running around in this world will stop ? When shall I become an idoit in the worldly affairs ? Otherwise a meeting with you seems impossible. As gift, as my offering this life is at your feet. Now will you not do my welfare ? Will you not save me from disadvantage ?

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Really speaking I do not know much about welfare or otherwise. Oh Graceful, the knower of all! Not according to my vision but according to your vision what welfare you think proper that you do for me; for that if I have to suffer it will be allright
You keep me away from whatever is not advantageous for me, it is o.k.; if for that I have to remain away from happiness, I am ready. If you do what is my welfare according to my vision, then both I and you will be unhappy. Because it you do what I consider my welfare then I shall remain deprived of virtues and happiness. Oh Divine Knowledgeable ! Kindly do not forget to transform my vision.

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ABUNDANT JOY OF SENTIMENTS
:46: ALL NAMES - PLACES - WORK AT
YOUR FEET
Oh capable of resolving all issues ! Before you today, I want to lodge a complaint. Though with you and yet without you, how long should I talk? I go on speaking and you hear dumbly, that also from far away. How long will this continue ?
Now I want to see a day when I do not speak, yet you hear me, keep me, pramper me, protect me, make me hear.
in your name and place, my name, my all work, all my places, my village, a glass of my heart, all prices get dissolved, melted, and everything becomes of Prabhu, for Prabhu, by Prabhu ~such is my intensive desire. How long can I keep safe my name -village-place - price - work? In a desert in the afternoon what is the safety of a drop of water? And if you ask me, really speaking, what is there worth keeping in that? Bringing me out of a dark, narrow lane of mine, you take me to the highway with your name. You are so rich and so near, yet, I have not gained anything from you. How would it be possible if I continued to paint here and there without any knowledge, skills and art ? I have been pampering my worthless miseries and ignore your foy.

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Oh Supreme Soul ! You remove my miserable condition. You also remove cowardice. You remove my poverty. You finish my meanness, lowliness. You burn my greed and lust. You bury my desire for name- fame. You dissolve my fraud, trickery, hypocrisy. You destory bewitchment-affectionate attachment-illusions.
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English Version of Books / Booklets written by Muni Shri Yashovijayji Maharaj Saheb English Version : Malay Kantharia BOOKS FRANGRANCE OF SENTIMENTS GLIMPSES OF SENTIMENTS ABUNDANT JOY OF SENTIMENTS WHAT IS SUPERIOR? INTELLECT OR FAITH? WHAT IS SUPERIOR? SADHANA OR UPASANA? LUST GETS DEFEATED, DEVOTION WINS