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102 Twelve Facets of Reality At the same time, you use samvara, you stop yourself from speaking out. If you speak from a level of imbalance, when the anger is giving too much energy, your words will be amplified. So tell yourself to wait for your normal state to return.
Then ponder, “What is the cause of this anger? Did someone else make the mistake or did I have a part in it? Are not two hands needed to make a clap? Can it be avoided in the future? What are the ways to prevent it?” When you have this spirit of inquiry, this space, you don't allow the energy of anger to go out. You keep it in for the time being like a pressure cooker. You let the steam out very slowly.
After that, instead of using a lot of words, you select a few words and tell the person very gently, “This is what made me angry. I would prefer this,” or “This has spoiled my peace. I don't want to spoil your peace with my anger.” In this way, you stop the cycle of action, reaction, and interaction. You see the pain that anger has caused and you do not want to evoke it in someone else. You want it to end here. With a gentle feeling toward the other person, you can awaken his or her consciousness. By shouting, what are you going to accomplish?
So follow these three steps when anger comes. First, be aware of your feeling. What was your expectation which created the sensations in your body, the increasing buildup of hot energy. Second, retain the energy until your balance returns. Do not allow yourself to speak. Third, when you are feeling calm, tell the person what has made you unhappy, what has hurt your feelings. Your very gentle selective words will start working on that person's consciousness if the person is sensitive. If the person cannot understand you, even your shouting will have no meaning.
Another storm is the storm of pride. When pride in
