JAINA Convention 1993 07 Pittusburgh

Author(s): Federation of JAINA
Publisher: USA Federation of JAINA

Page 93

91
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FORGIVENESS E
by anop r. vora
bitterness and hate and probably more damaging because of the duration involved. Some people cannot forget and forgive an incidence for decades! The common results of these responses are strained relationships and non productive use of precious life. The bottom line: Usually both sides lose out. However, our ego prevents us from seeing this.
Our religion teaches us that we can escape from the harmful effects of animosity and hate by developing the virtues of humility/sympathy/understanding/tolerance. It is only by practicing all of these can we develop forgiveness.
Absolute and total forgiveness is too difficult a goal for us to reach right away. Let us see if we can make step by step progress by looking at different stages of forgiveness.
0 Stage I: Preventive Form of Forgiveness-Since forgiveness is difficult for us, let us concentrate on animosity prevention. Let us constantly maintain friendly relations with all and clarify misunderstandings right away before the knot gets any stronger. Let us be sensitive to the feelings of other individuals and exercise humility.
Forgiveness is tied directly with anger and like anger control, it is not a new invention either. It is a common knowledge that forgiveness is good for us. I do not know of any religion which does not advocate forgiveness. Unfortunately most of us just go through the motion of talking about forgiveness and give only a lip service to the beautiful concept. We say one thing...do something else. There is no harmony between our thought, speech, and action. Consequently, the knowledge of forgiveness and going through the rituals such as SAMVASTARI PRATIKRAMAN exemplifying forgiveness is not doing anything for us. Let us analyze the issue in detail.
First of all, Forgiveness is a lubricant prescribed by our saints to keep the human relationships smooth. They recognized the weakness of human nature and realized that people would go through many situations in a life span that may cause animosity and hostility. Some of these situations are: • DisagreementsDisagreements are a way of life and yet don't many of us display hostility towards
those who disagree with us? • Misunderstanding—Some of us misinterpret the
intentions of other people and become angry and
hostile to them unnecessarily. • Wrong expectations—When our expectations of
other people are unrealistic and we do not get what we want, we get disappointed and become
belligerent to them at times. • Hurt feelings (knowingly or unknowingly)—Most
of us hold a large ego about ourselves and our values. When someone humiliates or insults us, we get antagonistic. • Jealousy-Jealousy breeds hate and makes us lose our sense of discrimination.
O Stage II: Passive Forgiveness (Forgiveness In-volving Indifference: 'Live & Let Live Philosophy)-If we do not succeed in preventing animosity/strained relationship, let us do our best to resolve the situation. If we fail, at least let us put ourselves in a passive mode. In this mode of behavior, the other person is not our friend, nor is he our enemy. We may not be on speaking terms though with him. But let us never speak ill of him and offer our prayers and sympathy. Let us remember that just because we could not get along with the other person does not mean that he/she is a bad person.
O Stage Ill: Active Form of Forgiveness—This is the best form of forgiveness. This involves not striking back even if someone has harmed us. It entails loving our enemies and showing high degree of compassion. This is the highest form of forgiveness. This is what the religions of the world are asking us to strive for, and this is what was preached and actively practiced by Lord Mahavir. His legacy is the following beautiful words which people remember even after about 2000 years:
"I forgive all souls, let all souls forgive me. I have friendship with all and enmity towards
he typical stereotype responses to the above situ
ations are either a fast revenge or a slow revenge. Fast revenge results into anger, fight and sometimes physical injury on the spot. Slow revenge is more common in la civilized society. It takes the form of deep resentment,
none."
- Jain Scripture
"Bliss consists not in the dependence but in independence.
It can not come into existence out of nothing, It is an emanation coming out of something."
- 7TH BIENNIAL JAINA CONVENTION JULY 1993