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48
THE MYSTERIES OF MIND
an integration of personality but few have actually experienced
it.
There are some who believe in the existence of the soul. There are others who deny it. Mere belief in the existence of the soul cannot be logically justified. Its existence so far as it is a matter of belief can be easily disproved. We believe that the soul exists because we have been told that it does. Belief is not knowledge. Direct knowledge of the soul is a matter of personal experience which can be had in a state of kāyotsarga which is a door through which we can enter into the soul directly. Once we get a direct glimpse of the soul, kayotsarga becomes achieved of its own accord. Spiritual experience means experience of our real existence, of pure consciousness and of that state in which the soul remains a pure spectator and knower.
We perceive and know things but our perceptions and knowledge are not perfect. Curd mixed with sugar is neither pure curd nor pure sugar. Its taste is neither that of pure curd nor that of pure sugar. It is quite different from both. Consciousness is also in the same plight. We are neither able to perceive pudgala or matter nor consciousness exclusively. Our empirical experience consists of a combination of both. We have accepted empirical experience to be valuable and cling to it. If we could perchance get a glimpse of pure consciousness, we will find it to be incomparable and will never like to discard such an experience. It will madden us. We would be prepared to make the greatest sacrifice to retain it. We would take it to be all in all. That is the way in which spiritual experience works. But the path which leads to the experience of the self is a thorny path beset with great difficulties. The distance we have to cover is no doubt a short distance, but we will have to do a lot of struggle to traverse it. Moreover, it is a winding path. While walking on this path we will have to activate the faculty of discernment. It is here that we become conscious of the value of pratyākhyāna or renunciation and of the distinction between what is desirable and what is not. It is again here that we get a glimpse of our real existence. It is here that we enter into the process of renunciation. It is true that what we try to relinquish is not ready to relinquish us. Renunciation or pratyākhyāna and discernment do not
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