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ACQUISITION OF A NEW PERSONALITY
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imbibe the sense of equality. I am determined to relinguish all kinds of evil tendencies and conduct. I shall never do any wrong and undesirable deed by mind, speech and body. I shall not cause anybody to do such deeds, nor shall I justify such deeds if they are done by anybody else. “This is a very healthy attitude of mind. But the practitioner will not be successful in carrying out his intention if he is secretly pursued his and conditioned by the past. That is why he retraces his past actions. He criticises himself for having done such deeds which have separated him from his true self. He renounces his past personality which has become estranged from the state of equanimity or sāmāyika. He now experiences a new state of mind. His personality has become transformed. He aspires for a new birth and an elightened existence. He has become awakened.
The unconscious interferes with our wishes and aspirations and renders them ineffective. We always think of improving the existing circumstances of our life and are unaware of the fact that the present is governed by the past. It is no use thinking of improving the present until we have got rid of the effects of past deeds which put a check on the manifestation of our energies. We cannot avoid living in the present but we can not live a wholesome life until the past has caused to pursue us. The only way to get rid of the burden of the past is to become a pure spectator of whatever happens to us. Unless such an attitude has been developed, the past will go on creating troubles for us. Suppressed desires will go on disturbing us when we try to meditate. Under their stress we are likely to lose hope and give up the practice of meditation. The practice of prakṣa meditation develops in us the attitude of a pure spectator undisturbed by likes and dislikes and predilections. It stops us from reacting to situations with an obsessed mind. It is essential for the practitioner to become an unbiased spectator rather than one who simply to reacts to situations instinctively.
Kāyotsarga and prèkşā meditation are the two mediums of emptying the mind of all the adverse effects of past deeds. When the practitioner feels oppressed by the past, by suppressed desires, by unconscious tendencies, by greed, by cravings
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